April 07, 2015
The first great crisis of Spring Break 2015 is here and happening, and has the ranks thoroughly divided.
A single Lego minifigure is missing. It is apparently a VERY IMPORTANT minifigure, because its status as lost has rendered Noah's entire Hero Factory collection useless, because he cannot play Hero Factory without this minifigure. They have told me this minifigure's name 14 billion times, but I still have no idea who or what they are talking about. I think it's red?
According to Noah, the minifigure was last seen in Ike's possession. Ike maintains that he put it back in Noah's room where it belongs.
Again, according to Noah, this is a damned dirty lie because he's looked "everywhere" in his room and it's not there. I remain neutral, because I'm pretty sure looking "everywhere" involved little more than standing in the center of the room and sort of idly glancing around, the way he also looks "everywhere" for his shoes, which are typically three feet away and in his direct line of sight. And yet also nowhere to be found! Strange, that.
After more fruitless searching (at one point they attempted to use Ike like a search dog, making him smell another Hero Factory minifigure in hopes he'd then lead them to the missing one), Noah posted the following sign on his door, joining the grand tradition of thoroughly annoyed big brothers everywhere:
(Noah Storch only! Keep out Ike!)
Ezra has taken Ike's side in the dispute, and decided to fire back.
(Ezra ole and Ike ole Cep do oat Nowa.)
(When asked to translate Ezra looked at me witheringly and said "Ezra only and Ike only. Keep out Noah." Like DUH, MOM.)
As of this writing, the minifigure remains missing, and the standoff continues.
This is all only slightly more interesting than watching a tire.
(Yes, the tire is still there. I fear the public shaming is having the opposite effect on Jason, who seems to think he's doing me a favor by providing me with ongoing blog fodder. And while that typically would be a valid point, I think I can speak for us all when I say not like this, Jason. NOT LIKE THIS.)
This has been TIREWATCH 2015: THE TIREWATCHENING, brought to you by your friendly neighborhood assholes who should probably consider using a different anti-frizz hair product.