One very notable difference between the New Pets vs. The Ones I Still Can't Really Talk About Without Getting Weird is how many stupid nicknames they have. Although "nicknames" isn't really correct, since I keep taking their existing one-syllable names and making them longer. I'm a blabbering baby talk idiot, all of a sudden. Max was always just "Max." One time Jason overheard me call him "Maxi" and was like, ew, stop that, he's not a menstrual product. Ceiba was occasionally called Ceibs (pronounced Saybs) or Ceiby (rhymes with Baby), and I sometimes called her Girly. But even that comes NOWHERE close to the number of ridiculous names I've caught myself using lately. For example, in the past 24 hours, I have called my pets all of the following: BEAU: Beau Dameron (cuz obvs that's his full name) BoBo BoBear Bowie BowieBo Flippy Flops Scruffy McShugs (he needs a haircut) Potato (I have no idea) FINN: Finnie FinnFinn FinnieFinn FinnieFinnFinn (STOP) Finnster Purrmaster Flash (STOP EVEN MORE) Bitey (if you stop petting him before his liking you will be gently nibbled on) Silver Fox REY: ReyRey Reybie (realized once I said it that it sounded like "Rabies" and have since... Read more →


It's Friday! Seems like a good day to laze out and just post random photos of my pets. Especially since there's currently a tail on my keyboard and a butt on my mouse. The cats have settled in, I'm happy to report. They have stopped hiding completely and now join Beau as a little troupe of shadows who follow me around all day, demanding attention, food, and lap real estate. I've never had two cats or littermates before, and it's been FOREVER since we had a cat that still acted as kitten-like as these two, so they are filling our lives with much hilarity and pratfalls. Catfalls? Ew, stop that, self. Miss Rey has managed to not fall out of anymore windows, but consistently finds other trouble to get herself into, like getting her ass stuck in an ottoman or locked in closets or falling into the toilet because she's so mesmerized by the flushing. True storiez. Despite her spectacular Queen Bitch Cat facial expressions, there's really no deliberate naughtiness or evil behind all her mischief. It's more like she's just kind of a klutzy airhead who doesn't understand how life works. (Oh my God, she's me.) She's...not the smartest... Read more →


So I was going to write about how I had to take Beau to the vet yesterday because he got an (admittedly much-deserved) swat to his eyeball from one of the cats, but then that pet antic got roundly and solidly out-antic-ed today. Sorry, Beau, your eyeball will be just fine, and you gotta step up your trouble-making game. I was out back playing with Beau this morning. While inspecting all my newly-planted berry bushes and strawberry plants (they're not dead yet!), I suddenly heard a weird, scratchity-scrambling type noise coming from an...uppish area. It was quite loud and strange. I first looked up at the deck in confusion, then my peripheral vision caught sight of something dropping off the side of the house. It took my brain multiple seconds to process what, exactly, was falling to the ground. Roof shingle? Loose siding? Part of the gutter? No. It was a cat. A cat just fell out of my house. Specifically, it was Rey, tumbling out of my bedroom window. Yes, that one. So the previous homeowners did that real estate staging thing where you remove screens from windows to make everything look brighter or cleaner or whatever the hell... Read more →


I found this in the back of the refrigerator today. Okay, that's kind of a fib. I've known it's been there for awhile. Probably since the day after Max died. I just...couldn't deal with it, so it slowly got pushed further and further back. Out of sight, out of mind. After he was gone, I hastily dumped out the litter and scrubbed the evidence of his final decline out of the carpets in our bedroom. I boxed up his unopened food for the shelter and added Puppy and a tuft of his fur to the memory box we'd prepared for Ceiba. But this stupid, half-empty can of food? Hey man, it's a process. Don't rush me. Yesterday I created two separate GoFundMe campaigns to raise a little money for the two animal rescues we adopted from -- Tara's House and Kitties & Pitties. A couple Facebook friends had suggested something like that after Ceiba died, or asked where I'd like donations be made in her name. I remember thinking that was a good idea, but much like the can of cat food, couldn't really deal with actually doing anything about it at the time. The Maximillian Thunderdome Memorial Fund The... Read more →


At some point last night, both cats (now mostly officially known as Finnie and ReyRey, shutup) emerged from underneath our bed and decided it was time for a takeover. OF PERSONALITY. They played, they nuzzled, they cuddled, they had some cautious interactions with Beau, and settled down to sleep between Jason and I while we watched TV in bed. They let us give them each a dose of medicine and amazingly did not seem to hate and/or plot our demise afterwards. They then woke me up at 5 a.m. with a folie à deux-style catfit, racing around at top speed, meowing and tumbling and wrestling with each other (and my hair). They're still really skittish around Beau, who to be fair, is being a total spaz and can't seem to resist the urge to charge right at them -- totally playful, well-meaning and with tail wagging -- but understandably the cats are still like AW HELLLL NAH. (Also he keeps stealing their food, which certainly isn't winning him any points in the Not Super Annoying category.) The eye of ReyRey, which changes from bright green to yellow to orange, depending on the light. Rey did work up the nerve to... Read more →


The cats! The cats are here! I bet you want to see some cat photos. Good because I have a lot of cat photos. Outstanding camera work, self. We brought them home last night and they immediately fled under the first bed they could find. It was Ezra's and they stubbornly stayed put in his under-bed hoard pile for a few hours. The boy cat emerged first, tempted by some food, then happily climbed in our laps for some cuddles. Girl cat remained under the bed for awhile longer, only visible by her reflective Halloween-y eyes, but eventually got curious enough to explore a little bit and to accept some cautious petting. Once Beau was crated and the kids were in bed, they got braver and (I assume) spent the night wandering around the house, with occasional pit stops in my bedroom to jump on my head and meow in my face for no reason, like YOU'RE STILL HERE RIGHT. JUST CHECKING OKAY BYEEEEE. Beau is being very friendly, but at level that they are so not ready to deal with yet. He's like HI HI HI HI HI OMG HI HI LET'S SNIFF BUTTS AND CHASE AND BE BEST... Read more →