Let's Talk About Food & Then Let's Also Not

So this week is off to a FLAMING good start, with a nice little stomach bug that knocked us all over, domino style. Ezra, then Ike, now Noah, and oh right, MEEEEE, somewhere right in the middle of everybody else. So it's been great! Just super great. Very ready for the winter stomach flus to move along so we can get to all the spring colds and allergies and hay fever crap. But I do have some good news today, for anybody who is like, "why am I reading about someone else's vomiting children I have taken a very wrong... Read more →


Your Questions, Answered, Using an Unnecessary Number of Words

I noticed a couple topic requests for Further Yakking About from the comments on the last post, and as I am in a procrastinating mood and have nothing better to yak about, let's do it: 1) The time-limit parental control thingie. Our kids used to solely play with our old, discarded iPhones. Plus an iPad that was technically still mine and I don't remember giving up custody but eventually it was chock full of nothing but kids' games and was always sort of sticky. I was never really happy with the parental control options in iOS. App purchases and downloads... Read more →


Here It Goes Again

Hello! How was everybody's Thanksgiving? Did y'all trample anybody over an Xbox? (Are Xboxes still a thing? I don't know what the thing is this year. Because all my children are getting is the Xbox we already own, that Ezra broke as a toddler by feeding it Legos. Jason figured out how to fix it, so TA DA! Here's your Christmas miracle, kids.) (The boys all really, really want an Xbox, but I keep saying NO XBOX because I'm a mom who hates fun and plus you guys broke the last one. I am still saying NO XBOX even now,... Read more →


I WROTE A BOOK

I did! I really did. But not a book for you. It's you know, for kids. (But I guess since kids don't have all that much money of their own, and the target audience is probably in the pre-Tooth-Fairy dollahdollahbills age range, maybe I did write it for you. To buy. With your money. YOU ARE SO WELCOME!!) After I wrote about the incredibly helpful pre-moving book I made for Ike through TwigTale.com, they reached out to say thanks, and then a couple emails later they asked if I could write a new book for them in time for Halloween.... Read more →


If You Can't Draw a Crowd Put Coke on a Wall

Remember that time we painted a chalkboard wall in our kitchen? Remember how nice it looked at first? Yeah, me neither. From top to bottom: 1) Our grown-up behavior chart, which was abandoned (on a Wednesday, apparently) a good six months ago. 2) The ghostly remains of an Ike/Ezra behavior chart, which only tracked one behavior, which was Get Out Of Bed In The Morning And Put Clothes On Without Mom Losing Her Shit At You. There are zero stars awarded to either, so Ezra helpfully wrote "Ty" a couple times to keep us up-to-date on who was "winning." 3)... Read more →


How I Did It

So I know I've danced around the "I LOST WEIGHT!" topic a bit. I've mentioned it but haven't really gone into any specifics since I wrote about our grown-up behavior chart, which was...Jesus, last JULY. I was down about 10 pounds then; I've since dropped another 15. I'm now really and truly back to my "pre-pregnancy" weight -- and I'm talking the FIRST pregnancy, 10 years ago. It's a good weight, a comfortable weight, and smack dab in the middle of the healthy weight range for my height and frame size. (I am made of Bird Bones.) After I posted... Read more →


Cloth Diaper Showcase Showdown! (Giveaway)

Hey, who wants some free crap? In particular, who wants some free crap for your baby to crap in? During the great nursery-to-big-kid-room move, I discovered a carefully packaged hoard of newborn cloth diapers. I only vaguely remember boxing it all up, possibly with the intention of giving it away...but more likely I was still hormonal and crazy and was like, NOOOO MY PRESHUS WITTLE TINY DIAPERS ALLLLL MIIIIIINE. I'm better now. I would like someone else to have and use them. I also went through the bigger/next-stage diapers and put together a second little diaper collection that should hopefully... Read more →


Ultimate Master List, Board Book Edition

POWER RANKED IN ORDER OF WHICH BOOKS HAVE BEEN LITERALLY LOVED TO PIECES AND/OR EATEN (BECAUSE LOVE) (ALSO TEETHING) We have QUITE the library of children's books in our house. I'd call them children's literature but...I dunno. Some of our books are really dumb and make me kind of stabby. (Has anyone read The Little Engine That Could lately? Do you remember it being so long? Because it's soooo looooonnng. It's like 20 solid minutes of crying toys, mean trains, laments about the good little girls and boys in the valley not having any milk or fruit or toys [which... Read more →


Dinner in Real Life

READERS BEWARE: There' s a ridiculous amount of boring dinner/cooking-type talk ahead. Also an inordinate number of parentheticals, even for me. I tried to make it funny. I tried and I probably failed. In other words, hold onto your butts, and may God have mercy on your souls. I have to admit I really enjoy rappin' with y'all about the cooking topic — trying to keep a family happy while not losing your mind with boredom over making the same damn recipe over and over and over again, and also trying to expand kids' culinary horizons without a full-on uprising... Read more →


WORLD'S WORST PROTIP EVER

This is just a little something I recently learned that I'd like to pass along, both on the off-chance that someone might find it useful but also because OMFHeavenlyG. Children! Can get Athlete's Foot...on their scalps. A fungal infection called tinea capitis. A type of ringworm that is not really a worm, but more like Jock Itch of the Head. You will know your child has contracted Jock Itch of the Head because of ALL THE BALD SPOTS. BALD SPOTS FROM WHERE THEIR HAIR DONE FALLS OUT IN GIANT FLAKEY CHUNKS. (Go on. Soak it in. Let the image wash... Read more →