Last Day

We leave tomorrow. And then cycle of endless plotting on how soon we can get back here begins anew. I know I'm technically supposed to be writing words here, but there just...aren't any to fully and adequately describe how special this place is, how much I'll miss it, and how much of a blast we all had here. The food, the fun, the people, the feeling like you are in the middle of a heavenly, luxurious paradise but also in your own cozy, homey home. It's perfect. The memories, they will burn bright and awesome. Thank you so much for... Read more →


Eat, Sleep, Eat, Love

The revolutionary (chef) costume for today: I didn't even realize Ezra had packed his "outdoor cooking" apron (it has a picture of a grill on it, soooo...), but I guess it's good to be prepared. In this case, for a personal invitation to come hang out with James the Jerk Master as he prepared Bluefields' weekly jerk chicken lunch. It was... ...so cute. So very, very cute, I thought I couldn't even stand it. Until... Ike got himself a bite of the chicken. And Ike got himself a special pre-lunch to-go package of the chicken. Which he ate completely, in... Read more →


If You Teach a Blogger To Fish...

I did indeed wake up before 5 a.m. yesterday, put my ass a small fishing boat with two local fishermen, and set off onto the great big ocean, past the sunrise and out to where it's nothing but endless, beautiful, unnerving flatness. Jason loves to fish and goes as often as he can (usually catch-and-release fly fishing), but I've never been, never tried, and so I can safely say my only goal for the day was to not thoroughly embarrass myself. (This is not me trying to be mysterious. This is me still too terrified of falling out of the... Read more →


Having a Great Time, Wish You (and Everybody Else in the World) Were Here

We're here. I am more than a little concerned that this place is far too good to be true, and that it is all a dream, perhaps some kind of hallucination after I had a psychotic break in the hallway outside customs in the Montego Bay airport, because our flight ran out of immigration forms at row 27, and all five us were in row 31, and thus had to fill out all five forms while sitting on the floor of a long narrow hallway, loose passports and children and backpacks spread all over the place, trying to fill in... Read more →


T-Minus a Bunch of Hours or Something

We leave for Jamaica tomorrow morning. Which: NO COMPLAINTS. I SWEAR. I AM TOTALLY CHECKING MY VACATION PRIVILEGE. But our packing and final preparations are complicated slightly by the fact that Jason is currently in Ohio, and won't be back until very late tonight. So it's pretty much all on me. Which is all but guaranteed to end super badly. I'd make a joke about somebody not having any underwear but underwear is far too obvious of a thing to forget, plus I've checked everybody's underwear stash already and it's all good and there. Which means the thing I've forgotten... Read more →


The Art of the To-Do List, Amalah Style

1) Ike's third birthday is on Sunday a) HOLY CRAP WHAT b) Buy Ike's birthday present Figure out what he is even talking about when he says he wants a "pirate treasure" for his birthday, then buy whatever the hell it is, provided it is not, in fact, an actual pirate treasure because I'm trying to keep things under like, twenty bucks. c) Make a cake or cupcakes or maybe just thaw out a couple of those banana muffins I made last week that he seemed to really dig. d) Clean the house before family descends on us tomorrow and... Read more →


Happy Souvenirs & Fruit-Flavored Memories

I came here to post something happy and exciting and now I'm crying. Dang it, eyeballs! Long story short, and let's just get the justified feelings of jelusbitchpants out of the way: We're going back to Jamaica next month. Back to Bluefields Bay Villas. We went there four years ago, had the most unbelievable time, I blogged about it, and afterwards a whole bunch of you guys also decided to go there (and were nice enough to mention that you found them through my blog). I've stayed in touch with the owners off and on, and they've always been super-nice... Read more →


We're Home! Now I Need A Vacation.

Greetings from slightly-more-than-halfway-through Spring Break 2014, which shall forever be known as the time I decided it would be a good idea to go back to Colonial Williamsburg for a couple (non-sponsored, on our own dime) days. Despite what you may have read elsewhere, let me assure you that attendance levels at Colonial Williamsburg are JUST FINE, BORDERING ON BEYOND BONKERS right now. Since our last trip was solidly in the low season, we arrived with a false sense of confidence and at a distinct disadvantage to everyone else, who showed up with things like "plans" and "dinner reservations" and... Read more →


YOU HAD ONE JOB. OKAY, MAYBE THREE.

I left for California on Thursday, by the way, although it hardly seems worth mentioning, since I'm back already. I spent about 36 hours in San Diego; it rained for approximately 34 of them; I left my hotel room maybe three whole times. One of those times was to speak to a room of about 50 pregnant or breastfeeding moms about the current state of mommyblogging, during which I am sure I came across as some kind of dinosaur, smacking my gums together while talking about Teh Olde Days, back before ads or sponsored posts or Twitter or Instagram or... Read more →


Great Storch Family Tornado of Destruction Summer Tour 2013 Photo Recapalooza

So. The beach. The beeeeeach! We got back on Saturday and it already feels like a hojillion years ago. Okay, maybe not that long. Just a lot longer than four piddly little days, though. But you know me. It's all zero to hyperbole, all the time. I didn't really plan to go the full week without posting; it just sort of happened. I realized I've blogged daily or at least semi-regularly through every single vacation or trip I've taken for the past 10 years and decided that I was tired of doing that. Though to be fair, I would not... Read more →