So I quit my job. I mean, I quit A job. I always have more than just one, technically. But it was the Big Job, the Main Job, the one I was traveling all the time for and spending most of my waking hours on and most of my sleeping hours quietly having panic attacks over. At some point it dawned on me: The worst thing in the world would not be losing this job. The worst thing in the world would be continuing to do this job. And it wasn't really the job's fault. I was not cut out for it, for what it ended up being (which to be fair, was different than what I thought it would be when I accepted it), for the demands of a small start-up that did not operate on a 9-5, Monday through Friday schedule and needed me online and working nights and weekends and lots (and LOTS) of travel. And other issues were entirely of my own making: I never said no, I would never admit I was in over my head, and I destroyed my own carefully cultivated work-from-home-and-life balance my own damn self. I felt guilty about leaving meetings... Read more →


My Internet is getting fixed today! At some point between the hours of 8 a.m. and 8 p.m., anyway. Thanks for that super-helpful service window, Verizon. I'll just sit here and wait for the inevitable, which is that you will not arrive during any of the many hours I am here sitting and waiting, but will of course arrive during the 15 minutes that I absolutely have leave the house to pick Ike up from school. And you'll get all huffy and impatient and I'll be all apologetic and flustered and we'll get off on the wrong foot, all because my three year old can't "drive" or "cross major intersections by himself." Yet, anyway. Let's not get off on the wrong foot, Imaginary Huffy Verizon Authority Figure. *** Speaking of Ike, he has decided that he is done with preschool, and the fact that he is not allowed to attend kindergarten at his brothers' school has taken over as the latest Three Year Old Worst Injustice In The World, At Least Since This Morning When He Was Served Milk In The Wrong Cup. (Yes. STILL with the wrong cup. And the dark blue plate. We've also added: Non-Ninja-Turtle Underwear is... Read more →


Dear Amy, Repeat the following to yourself and your privileged ass: I REALLY AM HAPPY TO BE HOME. I REALLY AM HAPPY TO BE HOME. HAPPY. TO BE HOME. I AM IT. *** That said. It hasn’t exactly been a smooth transition. Our power went out over the weekend due to Saturday’s surprise snow and ice storm. (Well, a surprise to me, because I left my weather app set to West Palm Beach weather which as you can imagine, is considerably nicer and I preferred to pretend it was still relevant to my life.) Thankfully the power came back on after a few hours…but our Internet did not. Our Internet is dead. Kaput. Dunzo. We have Verizon Fios and I don’t want to bore anyone with the technical blah-blah-cakes of it all, but there’s a thingamabox in our living room and a bigger, fiber-optical-er one in our basement, hardwired into the house. That’s the one that is dead, and that is the one that will not get repaired until THURSDAY, because I guess a lot of people’s thingamaboxes are also dead from the weather, so GET IN LINE, SWEETCHEEKS. So we have no TV, which is a big old fucking... Read more →


Second (and last) long-ass business trip on the month is over. Nothing like working a ton of 17-hour days in a row and then coming home all, "OH MY GOD I ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING AND NOW HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO." It's good to be home again. And to not have to go ANYWHERE else for a good long time, except maybe to go buy some wine. It's also good to have blog readers who Really Get You. Big thank you to Kristen who MAY or MAY NOT have used her important J-O-B connections to hook me up with a very special room service delivery of ALL OF THE HYATT SOAPS. Seriously. Look at all these fucking soaps. (Not including the three additional non-packaged soaps in active rotation in my soap dish, shower and travel toiletry bag. YASSSSSS.) So I suppose I finally have enough soaps to stop panicking about running out before the next time I stay at a Hyatt. Maybe. Possibly. (NOT LIKELY.) Also, because we're sharing and I try to be a very honest and transparent blogger, I have one last confession. This happened: I suppose this is the final nail in the I'M A PROFESSIONAL BLAWWWWGGGGGER... Read more →


Whoa. What happened there? Days turned into weeks and now it's February and even my family members are texting me now like, "Uh. You alive? Everything cool?" I was in Florida this week for work, a long series of 17-hour days and no free time and the best part is that I get to do it AGAIN next week, to a different part of Florida. This week was Orlando. I brought the kids some free maps of Legoland and Harry Potter World from my hotel as souvenirs, because I am an amazing parent who never leaves room in her suitcase to bring them back anything good and/or wildly overpriced. (Except for YAAASSSSSSSS more Hyatt soaps. Although this week the maid figured out my hoarding game and cut me off after two soaps. Dammit.) Within an hour of arriving at my hotel, I watched a guy trying to flirt with the concierge, who apparently is attending college for healthcare management. He wished her luck in a tough field, then walked away, but stopped to bellow "BECAUSE OBAMACARE" at me and my slightly startled (and non-eavesdropping) coworkers. "BECAUSE OBAMACARE" became one of many team refrains for the week and our go-to excuse... Read more →


Hashtag Rebel Dinosaur

I was away AGAIN last week, in Austin, an amazing, awesome city I did not actually get to see much of beyond the confines of my hotel. I had a nice view from my room, but other than that, it was a long week of cycling between a hotel conference room, the Starbucks in the lobby, back to the conference room, the hotel restaurant, conference room, my room, lobby bar, conference room, conference room, lobby bar, lobby bar, lobby bar. I was there for this workshop, and also to confront my own dorkdom because I totally freaking loved it, although there was a moment at 9:30 a.m. on Day One when I texted my coworker (who was one whole chair away) that I was "not going to survive this." Not so much because of the content of the sessions, but more because I'd stupidly done the math and realized I'd been awake for 22 hours straight the day before and was running on less than four hours sleep, and THAT'S WHEN they told us to pull out a piece of paper and do some personal and professional goal setting via a writing exercise. AMY'S BRAIN: No. No I will not.... Read more →


A Thrilling Update on My Lack of Updates

HI HI HI DID YOU MISS ME PROBABLY NOT ARE YOU SUPER SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT HOW BUSY I AM IF SO SORRY YO AMY HIT THE CAPS LOCK KEY PLEASE *deep breath* My new job (which I guess isn't THAT new anymore, but since I'm still in that learning-curve stage where getting asked a direct question during a meeting results in momentary panic of I PROBABLY DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION OH SHIT EVERYBODY IS LOOKING AT ME I CAN'T THINK OF ANY WORDS PASS PASS PASS!, I think it still qualifies as new-ish) continues to be very cool and also very time consuming. We all work from home most of the time, but there's also some travel, and we get together as a team as often as we can, spending long days in various hotel lobby restaurants or wherever we can score free wifi, strategerizing and planning to plan and mapping out campaign sequences on whiteboards and then taking photos of the whiteboards so we can all go home and spend the next couple days trying to read each other's chickenscratch handwriting. This week a couple people I actually hadn't met yet joined us,... Read more →