The War of the Amalah
Baby Max and the Unbearable Cuteness

At the Cactus Cantina

So today! I had lunch, live and in person, with Chris! And I am pleased to report that he is neither weird nor psychotic. So if you were one of the people who got that funny stricken look when I told you I was having lunch with an online friend? And maybe suggested I dial "9" and "1" on my phone and hold my finger over "1" again the whole time? Chill. Amy did not get murdered in a suburban Rockville shopping mall.

But! Anyway! Lunch!

We had fun. Possibly a little too much fun. But then things got scary.

I noticed this big, huge red thing on the table next to us. And I mean huge. Bulbous. I suddenly remembered the music video for Joan Osbourne's second single that didn't do anything and whose title I cannot remember. But she was a maid? In a hotel? And there were goldfish in the toilet? And she picked up a huge strawberry that started beating like a heart?

Anyone? Hello?

Well, just look.


(Click for full-scale terror.)

That's one strawberry, people. One. And it's bigger than her hand. And she did not have small hands. And it was just sitting there, on a paper towel, in a burrito joint that does not sell fruit of any kind. I mean, there was a Safeway nearby but I must have missed the circular where they advertised huge-ass mutant strawberries.

Anyway. I have never in my life been so disturbed by produce. We did not stick around to see if she started glowing green or growing gills after eating the monster, but instead just snapped the above picture with Chris' phone and hightailed it out of there.

The killer tomatoes were probably in the restroom.



may I just say that you are mighty lucky to have been able to have lunch with the lovable chris!! :D


LMAO!!! You crack me up, girl.

feisty girl

That would have freaked me out. Maybe she was weird and just brought it so that someone would talk to her about it?


Saint Theresa, yo
Song with bulbous strawberries
That pulse like hearts do

Smackdown was a blast
Can't wait for the one next week
I've gotta stop this


I'm all for robust produce but that was a little extreme. New rule - when fruit is the size of your head, back away slowly. Especially something like a strawberry. Its a berry which means it should be petite, perhaps even wee. This was neither. It was frightening.


Aha where did I see that strawberry before... hmmm... :)

I'm glad you didn't have to dial 911! I think you should be more afraid of that strawberry than of Chris :)


Glad you two got to meet. And alas thankful that Chris wasn't an ax murderer in disguise. LMAO! Hmmm mutant strawberries. Could be the plot to a new movie. *grin*

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