Your Regularly Scheduled Funny
March 03, 2004
(First, much lurve & squee to all my awesome friends who left comments on the previous freak-out post. Thank you all for caring about me and my defective ovaries. Pair of bitches, them.)
Annnnnnnnyway...
I don't really have much to say today, but the tone of this page was entirely too serious. And if there's one thing I hate, it's tonal seriousness. Among many, many other things.
So here's just a bunch of random crap. Yay, random crap!
First, here's Miss Doxie's not-so-subtle hint that maybe Lauren and I should address what the hell ever happened to her on the Bold & the Bloglicious:
Noted. So here's Part 12: Oh Yeah, Those Guys
Second, I'm going to JournalCon! Aren't you? Of course you are. It's in Washington, DC, August 20-22. Wooo, it's right by my house! But I'm still doing the hotel thing, rooming with someone who's bound to be a bad influence. So. Freaking. Awesome.
Lastly, another IM with Sprocketeer, right after we returned from a delicious and nutritious lunch out:
Sprocketeer: oh - (so-and-so) came in to my office when i got back and was like "where have you been, you disappeared for hours"
Me: tell her you were off blowing her boyfriend
I cannot wait, dude
Journal Con will rock the house
So drunk we'll all be.
(Okay, I am SO done with haiku now.)
Posted by: Coleen | March 03, 2004 at 04:23 PM
My Haiku:
Excuse me. I think
You are forgetting about
YOUR OTHER ROOMMATE.
Posted by: Leigh | March 03, 2004 at 06:01 PM
Yes. JournalCon is going to rock. We've reserved 700 square feet of ABSOLUTE MAYHEM at the Hotel Helix.
LAUREN!!! That wedding you're in? The weekend of JCon? Cannot happen. Sleep with the groom-to-be or something.
Posted by: Amalah | March 03, 2004 at 10:00 PM
Apparently I need to read up on this JournalCon thing and make plans to be there in August!
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 07:40 AM
SOMEONE is bitter
Thinking that she's out of it.
Leigh, we love you, yo.
(Dear Lord, save me from the haiku already.)
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 08:27 AM
Bridesmaid, bridesmaid, yo.
I'd rather do J-Con, yo.
But OH my DRESS, yo.
Posted by: Lauren | March 04, 2004 at 11:23 AM
I am troubled, see.
Who will teach ass dusting class?
Poor dusty asses.
Posted by: Lauren | March 04, 2004 at 11:25 AM
What is up with "yo"?
Don't be pimpin' dusty ass
Smack my blog up, yo
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 11:33 AM
Yo yo yo yo yo.
Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo.
Yo yo yo, bee-atch.
Posted by: Amalah | March 04, 2004 at 11:35 AM
You all crack me UP
Yo dude, I'll pimp dusty ass
Just try to stop me
Posted by: Lauren | March 04, 2004 at 11:49 AM
Hmm. Now THIS is an interesting set of comments to walk in on uninvited. I mean - I'm ALL about some Haikus, but the flagrant use of "yo" has me extremely concerned.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 11:51 AM
You are invited
But haiku-speak you must do
And you MUST use yo
Posted by: Lauren | March 04, 2004 at 12:05 PM
Yo, dont be shakin
Or pimpin' dusty boo-tay
all up in my crib
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 12:06 PM
Oh cactus, poor soul
You know you love dusty ass
Is it allergies?
Posted by: Lauren | March 04, 2004 at 12:09 PM
Lauren has spoken,
She is the boss of me, yo.
I'm scared of her, yo.
Posted by: Amalah | March 04, 2004 at 12:10 PM
I suck at this yo.
This one took twenty minutes.
I'll just dust my ass.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 12:11 PM
I am from Philly
Therefore I have exclusive
rights to the "yo," y'all.
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 12:11 PM
Can't be lyin' yo.
I likes me tha good boo-tay
Dusty or not yo
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 12:12 PM
holy crap you guys.
while I posted the last one
six more were written.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 12:14 PM
History is made.
Here at amalah dot com.
Most. Comments. Evah.
Posted by: Amalah | March 04, 2004 at 12:16 PM
Booty makes the world
go round, but what I want to
know is - where's Leigh, yo?
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 12:18 PM
I knew it, Yo C!
Cross over to the dark side.
Dusty ass rock house!
Posted by: Lauren | March 04, 2004 at 12:18 PM
Ok dear Lauren,
THAT one made no sense at all.
Jumped the shark, we have.
Posted by: Amalah | March 04, 2004 at 12:20 PM
We're commenting fools
Dusty-ass lovin' fools, yo.
You da bomb Amy
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 12:22 PM
What do you expect?
I'm SUPPOSED to be working!
Me love you long time.
Posted by: Lauren | March 04, 2004 at 12:23 PM
While we're on topic
How does one's ass get dusty?
Seems hard to do, yo
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 12:23 PM
How do I tell you?
The birds and the bees, you know
Never covered this.
Posted by: Lauren | March 04, 2004 at 12:28 PM
No dusty asses
'Round here, yo, cuz we all get
Mad crazy lovin'
Posted by: Amalah | March 04, 2004 at 12:29 PM
No birds and bees please
Being chased by a turkey
Is sufficient, yo!
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 12:30 PM
I know how one's ass
can get A Dusty, except
I'm not talking, yo.
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 12:39 PM
I need a shower.
Sitting here in my own filth.
Rock on with haikus!
Posted by: Lauren | March 04, 2004 at 12:41 PM
Must know the problem
Before we can find the cure
Spill it Coleen...yo
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 12:45 PM
Blogging the whole day,
Will make MY ass dusty - yo.
For you? I dont know.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 12:47 PM
I know C's secret.
But all I'll say is one word:
Imaginary.
Posted by: Amalah | March 04, 2004 at 12:56 PM
I have no comment
Because I don't kiss and tell
or, umm, something. Yo.
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 12:58 PM
Imaginary!
But actually not, yo.
Where is Leigh!? There's news!
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 12:59 PM
I have killed haiku
with my double-posting skills
Ev'ryone! Come back!
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 01:04 PM
Not gone, just plotting
Haiku can never die yo
A lot like Dick Clark
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 01:07 PM
Coleen I am slow.
Takes me forever to count
Five, Seven, Five yo.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 01:09 PM
I have the secret
Try new Swiffer Boot-ay Shine
For dust-free ass, yo
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 01:10 PM
Haikus forevah!
Smackdowns ev'ry Thursday, yo.
Tell me news, C (six, seven).
Posted by: Amalah | March 04, 2004 at 01:14 PM
I love Haiku Thurs.
I can't use the whole damn day
Cause five syllables.
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 01:14 PM
Your stupid firewall,
alas, prevents my sharing
too much info. (Ha).
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 01:21 PM
I am kicking asses
And also taking y'all's names
in haikus right now.
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 01:24 PM
It took me ages
To make a post in Haiku
Announcing Smackdown
I have one week yo
To speed up my creations
Cause I am so slow.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 01:25 PM
Lauren left to work.
What the hell's up with that, yo?
Can't...stop...the...counting...
Posted by: Amalah | March 04, 2004 at 01:26 PM
I have stopp-ed all
regular conversation
and now speak Haiku.
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 01:29 PM
Boss is gone today
When he returns tomorrow
My brain will be fried.
He'll think I work hard
But we all will know the truth
I'm over-Haiku'ed
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 01:32 PM
Got bad news Coleen
I think something was missing
From your last few, yo
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 01:32 PM
Oooohh Haiku challenge!
Chris asks for a recount, yo.
This could get ugly!
Posted by: Amalah | March 04, 2004 at 01:35 PM
Dont start recounting
I'm from the south, so all words
Have more beats to me.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 01:37 PM
The count is correct
But Lauren's rule was broken
In some, no yo, yo
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 01:38 PM
I think I have clout
Since I wrote the first haiku
And inspired, yo.
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 01:40 PM
Lauren is working?
Why would she do such a thing.
Haikus will pay bills.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 01:40 PM
You are right, Chris, yo.
I forgot the rule as well.
Hard to count AND "yo".
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 01:41 PM
Get email when a
Comment is posted on site.
Five bazillion emails now.
Posted by: Amalah | March 04, 2004 at 01:44 PM
I'm not a hater
I won't throw down over yo
Just pointing it out
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 01:44 PM
Forgot to eat lunch.
Haikus ev'ry two minutes.
I have a problem.
Posted by: Amalah | March 04, 2004 at 01:48 PM
How many "throw downs"
Ya think were over "yo" use?
Probably never...
Of course, how many
Haiku Smackdowns do you think
Have been held before?
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 01:49 PM
Haikus been too clean.
"Ass" only bad word used, yo.
Fuck shit bitch tampon.
Posted by: Amalah | March 04, 2004 at 01:52 PM
The timeless battle
Of Eastern style poetry
Versus a late lunch
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 01:53 PM
Haikus are like chips
Once you pop you just cant stop.
First one is free, yo.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 01:54 PM
I'd like to point out
Zoot is writing two at once
Grand Haiku Master?
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 01:58 PM
These haikus make zoot
laugh loudly in her office
There's 'splainin' to do...
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 01:59 PM
Watch what you wish for
I ain't afraid to go blue
Now you have been warned.
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 02:00 PM
Someone please help me
I must fly to Atlanta
$Two-Twenty-Two sucks.
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 02:01 PM
Wait, $Two-Twenty-Two?
What happened to your discount
For good pilot-lovin'?
Posted by: Amalah | March 04, 2004 at 02:04 PM
Zoot's so bad at this
She cant be concise enough
To keep it to one.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 02:04 PM
For weekly smackdown
We should name a Grand Master
With a kick-ass crown
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 02:05 PM
She's also so slow
Her responses dont come 'til
Conversation changed.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 02:06 PM
Fly the friendly skies
But maybe not that friendly
Ride jet, not pilot
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 02:07 PM
I'd dig a crown, yo.
Anything that makes me feel
Better than you all.
Posted by: Amalah | March 04, 2004 at 02:08 PM
Haiku Grand Master
Fame and Fortune will be theirs.
'Til they pass the torch...
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 02:09 PM
Whats in Atlanta
Because for $two twenty two...
Hope its something good.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 02:10 PM
Chris knows background not.
Pilot is reason for trip.
Hi, I'm Yoda now.
Posted by: Amalah | March 04, 2004 at 02:11 PM
That assumes you win
But with my Haiku Whoop-ass
I may own the crown
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 02:14 PM
"Buddy Pass" no-go
pilot wait till SECOND trip
Hannah, Leigh this time.
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 02:16 PM
You're correct Amy
But if pilot is reason
Where is his airplane
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 02:16 PM
More importantly,
If reason is a pilot,
He fly to Coleen.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 02:17 PM
When you do the 'ku
Parts of speech may dissappear
Thoughts tough to express
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 02:18 PM
Taking break to check,
Want to know my fave one, yo?
"Fuck shit bitch tampon."
Posted by: Lauren | March 04, 2004 at 02:19 PM
I commend Lauren
Proof that one of us can get
Real work done today
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 02:21 PM
Challenge in Haiku
Having real conversation
While still making sense.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 02:22 PM
Welcome back Lauren,
That one cracked my shit up too.
It caught me off guard.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 02:25 PM
The real challenge is
Talking to real world people
Without haiku rules
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 02:26 PM
If pilot sees this
He will stop talking to me
He'll fly away, yo.
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 02:27 PM
Hot Spring, Arkansas
will lose 'cause I'm haiku-ing
But I dont live there...
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 02:27 PM
Have haircut at three.
Must leave momentarily.
Wow, that rhymed. Hee hee.
Don't stop, Haiku-ers.
Carry on in my stead, yo.
Need some new blood though.
Where's Miss Doxie? And
All the RudeCactus fans? Don't
They find us funny?
That one was cheating.
Four verses are fucking hard.
I bid you adieu.
Posted by: Amalah | March 04, 2004 at 02:31 PM
My brain is throbbing
(I said BRAIN) and I'm confused
Yet still, I haiku
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 02:32 PM
Bailing for home soon
Of course I'll be online there
I'll catch you all then
As for my readers
My site has been very quiet
I'm not quite sure why
Posted by: Chris | March 04, 2004 at 02:34 PM
My work is calling
Ark. Parks need analysis
I'll be right back, yo.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 02:36 PM
Also? Some good news.
I took me a shower, yo.
Dusty ass no more!
::::::::::::
Gave my dog some cheese.
How did he thank me you ask?
He farted real loud.
Posted by: Lauren | March 04, 2004 at 02:39 PM
Everyone left
I am the last one standing
Haiku's my bizitch.
Yo.
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 02:43 PM
Seven more Haikus
Amy will have one hundred
Or less, 'cause I'm slow.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 02:49 PM
I can not believe
This was not thought of before
Yo yo yo yo yo
Posted by: Joe | March 04, 2004 at 02:56 PM
Rain falls in Kansas
Co-workers gone to Cabo
Life just isn't fair
Posted by: Joe | March 04, 2004 at 02:58 PM
Hey Joe - nice Haiku.
I wish I had thought of it...
'Bout to rain here too.
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 03:00 PM
We have new blood, yo
Joe! Great to read your haikus.
Now go fix us drinks.
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 03:06 PM
I need lunch, Coleen -
Will you ask the next person,
To make sandwiches?
Posted by: Zoot | March 04, 2004 at 03:09 PM
I am One Hundred!
Bravo to all the time-wasters
Haiku is Genius.
Posted by: Coleen | March 04, 2004 at 03:13 PM