Going on a little trip, chickies. Tomorrow morning I head on out to Pennsylvania to visit with the parental units.
Dad and I are going to a Phillies game; Mom and I are going to spend money and buy shoes. Everyone's a winner!
AND AND AND then? On Sunday? I shall be brunching with Coleen and Diana in Philadelphia, which shall temporarily be renamed the City of Brotherly Loave in our honor. And we are totally bringing a picture of Judith Light to prop up on an empty chair and talk to like she is really there with us.
Because she will be. In our hearts. And in our crazy, crazy brains.
Anyway. Since I forgot to give y'all any warning of my departure and don't want anybody to panic when I don't update tomorrow and notify the authorities because oh, my god, she surely must be dead, I figured I would plagiarize from myself and do another packing diary -- a gimmick that sort of worked once so therefore must be beaten into the ground, shot and run over with a car by doing it again.
(That sentence was a bazillion words long. My head hurts now.)
6:30 p.m. At work. Horrible, terrible, not-so-good work.
6:31 Fuck this. FUCK THIS.
6:33 Am totally leaving. Yes.
6:55 Really leaving.
7:02 Really really leaving.
7:41 - 8:06 Rant about day.
8:07 Rant. Rant rant.
8:08 Must pack. Yes.
8:09 Get out suitcase. Cause small closet avalanche.
8:10 Order husband to order food. Fooooood. Indian food. Yes.
8:12 Realize one fingernail is starting to break. No! Noooo. Paint. File. Pray.
8:14 Bite nail off.
8:15 Look for Saturday and Sunday Care Bear underwear. Find Saturday's. Are dirty. EW!
8:16 Have seriously had dirty pair of panties in drawer with clean ones since last Saturday? Who AM I? Dirty, dirty girl, that's who.
8:25 Terribly productive. Huge pile of clothes on bed is a very good short list of options of things I might possible want to take.
8:26 Pull cat off clothes.
8:27 Phillies hat! And red shirt! Wooooo! Go Phils!
8:29 Should bring bridesmaid dress found on eBay. Perhaps Mom can alter it for free as a seamstress would probably charge more than damn dress cost in the first place.
8:30 Realize one tank top, upon which all other outfits depend, is in wash.
8:31 Order husband to go pick up food already. Am cranky.
8:34 Hate all clothes. Why does it always come to this?
8:36 Tank top is NOT in wash. WTF?
8:38 Mistake lacy garter belt for elusive tank top for the seventh time.
8:39 Ponder the many things that are sort of wrong with that.
8:43 Entire summer wardrobe is mashed into wee suitcase.
8:44 Should probably bring some warm stuff too in case it gets cold.
8:45 Like it so often does in JULY. Shut up, Amy.
8:51 AND WIIIIIIINNNNEEE.
8:52 Dinner is served. Crystal wine glasses brought out, as are paper towels because we are out of napkins. Plates are provided, but opt instead to eat right out of plastic container. Lit candles though.
8:54 Also realize am not wearing pants.
10:03 Totally over the packing. Over.
10:05 Which is different than being done with the packing. Very different.
10:06 HOLY SHIT, THERE IS A HELICOPTER HOVERING RIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW. OH MY GOD. MY NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS ARE AL-QUEDA OR THERE IS ANTHRAX IN THE INDIAN FOOD.
10:08 Never mind. Helicopter was far away. Was reflection of ceiling fan in window.
10:09 Need more wine. Promptly.
10:12 Soooo almost tripped on the stairs and fell on my ass.
10:13 Still not wearing pants.
10:14 Still wondering where that damn tank top is. Going to bug me all weekend now.
10:17 Have not packed toiletries, shoes or the baby spider plant I promised my mom.
10:18 When did I last water the spider plant? Or look at it?
10:20 Uh oh. Aren't plants supposed to be green?
10:21 Water plants. Water! Life-giving water! Live babies! I care for you! I do not forget you!
10:23 Will be horrible, terrible mother someday.
10:24 Although Max certainly ain't lacking a blessed thing in the world.
10:25 Except a clean litter box. Ew.
10:26 Wonder if blue and white linen skirt is better outfit than cream and brown striped one. Jason doesn't want to hear about it any more.
10:28 I wonder if anyone is online?
10:29 MIR! MIR! MIR!
10:34 There is a GNAT in my WINE.
10:35 That is gross, and yet what a glorious death that would be.
10:47 This post would have been funnier if I were drunker. Ooof. Glass hit teeth.
10:53 Loave Mir.
10:56 I don't think I shall pack anymore tonight.
11:00 Hope Coleen and Diana don't make fun of me when I show up on Sunday in the wrong tank top, a sweater for some reason and quite likely, no pants.