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July 2004
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September 2004

A Post About It

("It" being "The Crazy." Or in this case, "The Cryptic." It probably won't make a damn lick of sense to you. Blah.) It has not been a good week and a half. My meds are being switched and my doses upped. I'm coming off one antidepressant so I can start a new one tomorrow. Hopefully one that will do a bloody damn thing. I'm doubling my dosage of the mood stabilizer that was already kicking my ass pretty convincingly. I'm "a little ball of nervous tics," as my doctor observed, and am preparing for "four to five days of feeling like total shit." (Also my doctor's eloquent words.) My head is buzzing, my limbs are trembling, I feel nauseous and tired and am this close to total nuclear meltdown at any given moment. In the three days since I've been back from Miami, I've managed to wreak absolute havoc in my life and in the lives of several people I care deeply about. Feelings are hurt and wrists are bandaged and I am closer than ever to losing my tenuous grip on reality. (And how are you? Jesus.) Right now, I'm feeling an acute sense of loss. My skin is... Read more →

Miami Rhapsody

Back! Back back back back! Miami Beach? Lovely. Totally going to get wiped off the face of the earth this weekend by hurricanes, but for the days we were there? Just lovely and sunny and pretty and nice. I'm tan, except for my scalp, which is totally red, and totally going to peel. Also pretty and nice. (The ratio of complete-sentences-typed-to-appearances-of-the-word-totally is off the charts already. Totally off the charts.) So Miami was great. Yes, there are pictures. No, I don't have them today. Although if you scour the Internet you might find one of a topless girl in a blue-and-white-striped bikini who looks just like me, but who totally isn't, because Amy would never go topless in Miami, because Amy would know that the instant her top is off she would have the rotten luck of getting photographed by some perv with a really nice camera. So yes. Or no. I'm confused now. Tomorrow: Pictures. Today: Barely coherant random thoughts and ramblings that only sort of tell you about our trip. Lucky you! Take comfort in the fact that I am the sort of person who gets seated in the emergency exit row on planes. Don't you feel safe... Read more →

Mysteries of the Universe, Part One

In which Amalah confronts the questions of the ages... What the hell am I banging and bruising my knee on repeatedly? Who is kicking me without my knowledge? Where did all my red pens go? How do I keep buying and buying red pens and yet never have any? Is it totally wrong to think the cleaning people are probably stealing my pens? How can that really be how you spell "debilitating?" That doesn't look right. I feel like it needs an "h" in there somewhere. Why has my hair suddenly decided to be curly? When did this happen? My hair has been poker-straight my entire life. In high school I would put it in hot rollers every damn day and would still be lucky to create a wave that lasted longer than the school bus ride. Now? That I decided to embrace the straight hair and got a haircut designed for super-sleek and straight hair? Curly. Wavy. Bendy. I'm not really sure. I do kind of like it, which means it's totally just a humidity fluke and will go away in a week. How am I going to get my anniversary flowers home tonight? Should I buckle them in?... Read more →

Wednesday Advice Smackdown

Yes, I know it's really Thursday, but it's still Wednesday in my mind. So I don't want to hear another word about it. Got it? Okay, on with the show... Dear Amalah, I always feel presumptuous when I put a link to other people's blogs on my own. So I'll ask this time around, may I? I mean, I know that's how it works. Link to blogs you really like. But my blog has an ego problem, it doesn't feel good enough to link to really good blogs. Which brings me to my advice needed question. And I wouldn't be terribly disappointed if Special Guest Advice-Giver Guy Dude took my case. How do I boost my blog's ego? -Kiraa OKAY THEN, so now Special Guest Star Advice-Giver Guy Dude is getting REQUESTS. Y'all like him better than me, don't you? I knew it. Well, he wouldn't know the first thing about boosting blog ego, because he DOESN'T HAVE ONE. And I'll be damned if I let him show off on mine ever again. It's terribly bad for my blog's ego. Although you may have noticed that my blog has more than enough ego to spare. In fact, it's so damn... Read more →

Off The Rails

No advice column today. I may postpone it until tomorrow, or it might take a little hiatus and run away with the 'ku. I've made some light-hearted references to The Crazy and the Brain Doctor and la la la, Amalah's feeling a little blue and stressed. Prozac is the new Flintstones Vitamin, no big deal, she's FINE. FINE FINE FINE. Am not fine. Am dirty liar. I'm not going into details. < insert standard "people in real life read this" boilerplate here > I'm not going to spend a lot of time writing about it. In fact, I'll probably just refer to the whole situation as "It" a lot and gloss over It entirely for weeks at a time. La la la. But I thought you should know a few things. 1) No advice column today. Check. 2) I am still hilarious when I'm depressed. Sometimes even more so. Please don't leave me. Please don't find someone new. Especially someone younger and prettier. I would cry. Don't walk out that door! I am still talking to you! Baby, don't goooo! 3) I'm more than just depressed. Everybody's depressed. I need to be stand out in the crowd. Am star!... Read more →

Hold Please

Yes, hello, I’m here, alive, semi-well and whatever. Today is Big Print Deadline Day For The Accursed Eleventy Billion Special Reports Amy Had To Write And Also, Coincidentally, Random Capitalization Of Words Day. So I’m a wee bit busy. Just. A. Wee. Bit. So maybe I will be posting some random thoughts and do-dads throughout the day using my Handy Attention Deficit Disorder Gah Gah Gah Banners, or I may not post anything at all. The one thing I will not do? Which would be the one thing that would totally make the most sense? Is change my template back to actual blogging where you can have multiple entries from one day on the same page, because that would eff up my pretty archives and I make a point not to ever eff up my pretty archives. Plus I’m stubborn. I switched to the one-entry-a-day format so I would be challenged to write something substantial and/or intelligent every day. (I did not delude myself into thinking those two always went together. Some days? I just write until the screen looks kind of full. Substantial, yet fluffy and brainless! Like Lindsey Lohan.) Let the Day Of Crazed Pseudo-Blogging begin! Um. Well.... Read more →