I Should Be Fired For This Post
I Hate Tuesdays

The Unbearable Lameness

So have you ever been at a stop sign, stopped behind a line of cars all waiting to make a right turn onto a busy street? And you don’t really pay attention to the cars in front of you? But you just keep staring to the left to watch for spaces to turn? And you see a space and just kind of assume the car in front of you took it, because it was a HUGE FUCKING SPACE?

And then have you ever inched up a bit to see to the left a little better, only to rear-end the car that did not take the huge gaping space, but is still at the stop sign?

Yeah, me neither.

I also lie a lot.


Now of course, one really can’t do much damage while rolling forward at three miles per hour, but one can make a sickening THUMP sound, panic, start reversing until the frantic car behind you is all HONK STOP I’M HERE TOO BITCH HONK. 

Her car was fine, so was mine. I may have added a wee nick in her bumper, but she had a city bumper already so there was no way to tell. (A city bumper. You know, if you have to parallel park all the time so your bumper looks like you shave it with a dull Gillette every morning.)

No exchanging of info was necessary, I apologized profusely and she looked at me and shrugged and was all, “Yeah, so? Bitch.”

A lovely way to start the morning.

But how was my weekend? Was it any better? Well, if we’re simply going for whether or not I did anything as boneheadedly stupid as vehicular homicide at a stop sign, then yes. It was better.

We had dinner with some friends, saw Team America: World Police (verdict: while not as mind-blowingly hilarious as the South Park movie, puppet sex and puppet vomiting are way funnier than they have any right to be), and bought Ceiba some winter clothes.

Yes, that is correct. I bought my dog some clothes. I ask you, is there anything in the world that screams “HELLO MY WOMB IS COLD AND BARREN” louder than this?


I didn’t think so.

That’s Ceiba modeling her pretty new quilted winter coat with a fleece lining. I also got her a red thermal hoodie sweatshirt. (It has a HOOD. For a DOG.) And I also very possibly bought her a red cape fleece thing with a fluffy collar because another couple was trying it on their dog at the store and it looked so damn cute.

I am so lame. Lame!

I also took some naked dog pictures. Please don’t report me to the authorities.





She's too cute. And a reader? Progressing rather fast isn't she. My dog can just do a flip.

Also we are SO going dog-costume shopping tonight so that he can feel festive when he barks at all the neighborhood kids. And scares the living shit out of them. It's appropriate for halloween though, right?

type a

ceiba's all surprised to have been caught in bed with max! dog + cat = the shame! the horror! and max is totally like, "dude, i'm way over here. with my back turned. ceiba who? what now?

and i see she's reading radar's copy of gwtw. glad it made it up to you alright. try not to dog ear it! HEH.


I am so buying Ceiba this for Christmas: http://www.thepamperedpup.com/shopping/rrc-cherry-ruffle-tank.htm


What a stylin' lil' bitch (and I mean that in a nice way). The pup just keeps on getting cuter! I do believe that she needs some accessories, such as a Coach bag with matching hat. Some reading glasses may also be in order.

I love your pics! Keep them coming!


Ceiba is beautiful. My husband and I had a "min pin" many years ago. He is now in doggie heaven but he was a smart, fearless, dapper little guy with a champion's heart. And he LOVED clothes. So, remember you don't have justify yourself to anyone! P.S. We now have a Boston Terrier mix who is not only subjected to clothes but also "muttlucks" because we live in a remote village in Alaska and he needs them. And I'm also mourning the fact that I won't get to see Team America until it comes out on DVD because we have no movie theaters here. Thank you for allowing me to live somewhat vicariously.
Yet another childless woman who dresses her dog and doesn't make apologies for it either, dammit!


Girl, my dog Tuesday has two coats (one black and sleek, one fleecy and warm) and yesterday I bought her a PINK ROLLNECK SWEATER. For $50. Whatever the disease is, I got it too. Bad, because she also has booties. And goes to Doggie Day Care once a week. I can't stop buying crap for my dog.


So the whole car thing? I did that yesterday. Was trying to parallel park (not a talent of mine) and I did not just get a bump sound but that indescribably sickening screeching scrape. At least the car I ran into was a Volvo, and I just got their bumper, and as far as I could see there were no ill effects. But still...my car is hurt, and I despise that sound with all my heart.

your adoring handmaiden for ever and ever

oh Ceiba is just tooooooooooooo cute. Tell me you bring her to work everyday with you. You cannot leave her preciousness alone. Too too too adorable. And reads! And is a fashion hound----


The dog in the coat is damn cute. And I am guilty of having countless photos of my cat.

Katie B

Sweet Jebus, Ceiba is mind numbingly CUTE! That FACE! I WANT TO EAT HER. Ahem, pardon my twee explosion but that dog is just too cute for color TV.


I saw the cutest teensy even teensier than Ceiba minpin this weekend at a pet halloween costume contest. He was dressed up as a bee LOL!

Scarlett Cyn

Adorable. (you too!)

Um, Amy? I have to recommend two films for you. Soul Plane, just because I bet you will laugh your ass off nonstop.(cheesy but hilarious) and? Because you totally have the dog and cat thing going on? Garfield. Yes, I will say I sat through it with your NEICE tonight... and laughed. It made me think of Max and Ceiba honestly. What a hoot. Yes, lame movies, but,what the hell, you need a good chuckle.(I know I did.)

Love Ceiba with the book. She is such a little supermodel now!

Random Mummy

Only accident I have ever had (not involving the garage doors) happened the. exact. same. way. But I figure it is really that lady's fault for not going when there was a bum-load of room!

Scarlett Cyn

Shit, I misspelled Niece. Sorry. I know you cringed. Bad me.


ceiba looks so wise. and not just because she's reading such an adult book. ;)

also, the wee ones just seem so ill-equipped for winter, one can't help oneself from at least contemplating the clothes. right? please tell me i'm right. because i've been looking.


Ceiba's outfit looks tailored. I mean buying animals clothes is one thing, but please tell me you did not buy CUSTOM animal clothes.


Ceiba's all centerfold-y in the far left naked pic. Oooh, Ceiba!

Bummer about the crack-up. I hope she didn't hate you too much. WE LOVE YOU!

Fraulein N

Hee. So twee! But cuter than it has any right to be. How sad is it that I'm imagining if they made that little green number for PEOPLE, and thinking I would wear it?


I totally understand. I have been posting recently about how my friend and I have been purchasing fall and winter wear for our dogs. And then came the hunt for the Halloween costumes. And since I have a male dog I had to find an acceptable costume. (I feel it is necessary to leave him as much of his male-ness as I can since I took most of it away.) So be happy that you are not alone. We understand.

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