Fra-gee-lay
January 17, 2005
Hey y'all,
So listen. The work thing. Is priority.
(So is teaching myself the art of the compound non-fragment sentence.)
I've put this off for as long as I can but I simply must take a (short, temporary, wee, please come back) break from updating.
I'm super-extra-beyond stressed right now, and while I'm usually stubborn as hell about how writing here is my essential relaxation technique and all, that just hasn't been true lately.
Our heat is only sort-of working, we have two monstrous holes in our bedroom wall, Ceiba is keeping me up all night during remedial potty training, I'm working 10-hour days on 20 minutes of sleep, my dad is having another health crisis, I'm still not pregnant and I've realized that the main character in my book is a selfish, hateful little brat.
(The main character is me.)
As a result, I'm kind of going insane from sheer exhaustion. I get a mean comment and I cry. I honest-to-God CRY over some dipshit who found me via a Google search for "ashlee simpson large sexy boobs" and decided to say something cruel for the hell of it. I have 389 unread emails. And this morning I got some news that I really didn't need to know about, except that I really did need to know about but I didn't want to know about because it made me cry and then I made the bearer of said news cry which made me cry more because said news should not have made me cry because I am an ADULT who needs to handle things like said news better.
(Please do not ask about said news. You will make me cry. You do not want to make me cry anymore because I just might kill you. Am still a bad-ass motherfucker, y'all. Only more delicate-like.)
So basically: You can knock Amy over with a feather at this point so she's going to stay away from feathers.
I'll be back in a few days, maybe a week, promise, after I get some sleep and re-up my medications and get some actual work done for once.
Love,
Amy
P.S. Why don't you sign up for the pretty Notify list? So you don't have to come here everyday and re-read this hysterical entry? And be all annoyed about the mysterious said news or worried that I'm about to jump out the window? Because I'm not? I'm just cranky and tired and will probably change my mind in like, an hour?
big ass motherf-ing HUUUUUUUUUUUG to you, oh bearer of the best name in the world. ;)
Posted by: amy | January 17, 2005 at 11:09 AM
Not that this is going to make you feel any better or anything, but it's the middle of January and I'm only now, today, getting around to taking down our Christmas stuff.
No but really, so sorry about the overwhelming everything.
Posted by: Nicole | January 17, 2005 at 11:12 AM
Sorry to hear of your trouble, big hugs and come back soon. Former lurker who will seriously miss your ireverant style no matter how shortly you're gone.
Posted by: Stevo | January 17, 2005 at 11:14 AM
i cried over a comment, too. we must destroy all feathers!
Posted by: sarcastic journalist | January 17, 2005 at 11:25 AM
That post you wrote way back when, the one where you cried at Survivor because your daddy had gone through some tough stuff? Seems he's got all those Survivor contestants beat, like big time. You've got a family of troopers there.
And that post? It made me cry.
Posted by: Real Girl | January 17, 2005 at 11:37 AM
Hang in there! I know the weight of the overwhelm. I am feeling the same way myself. Trying to list out all the stuff I have to deal with just makes me hyperventilate. I think it's January. We should skip January next year. With apologies to all of those with January birthdays, nothing good really happens in January. I always have meltdowns in January. Thus...let's just skip it. Sending good mental vibes to you...
Posted by: MKN | January 17, 2005 at 11:44 AM
please take care and do something nice for yourself! having just come off of a particularly shatty week myself, i truly feel for you. i enjoy your site very much and look forward to your great return!
Posted by: jennifer | January 17, 2005 at 11:51 AM
Hang in there!
You just do what you need to do, and if you're feeling down, just think of your Amalah Cult and how we're sending good thoughts your way. :)
Posted by: Kitty | January 17, 2005 at 11:58 AM
Hang in there, sister. We will miss you like crazy during your break, but the above poster is right: January sucks, and we should definitely skip it next year. I've resorted to making to-do lists for all of my to-do lists. Bah.
Posted by: Heather | January 17, 2005 at 12:03 PM
Amalah - take time for yourself. Replenish, rest and breathe. You have a great well of self-empowerment, I swear. It's right there. Make yourself a priority - take care of yourself. You'll end up with much more to give. Call if you need a somewhat objective ear to listen!
Posted by: ktb | January 17, 2005 at 12:13 PM
I am having a very weird present myself. I can't decide which coast to live on, which career to settle with, which way my new crush should go - so I have learned to look forward.
Look forward to getting through your projects - look forward to reading your own book - look forward to your future. . .
. . .and I look forward to your next entry. Best wishes, Amalah!
Posted by: Janna | January 17, 2005 at 12:18 PM
Aw, I'm so sorry that everything's so crummy right now. Do what you have to do and then TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Hoping you're feeling at least OKish soon.
Posted by: Muppet | January 17, 2005 at 12:20 PM
Ms. Amalah,
Thank you for making me laugh with your wonderful website.
Take care of your stuff. Take your time.
We'll be here when you get back.
Posted by: JeffZ | January 17, 2005 at 12:32 PM
aslee simpson doesn't even have big boobs. jebus.
Posted by: type a | January 17, 2005 at 12:38 PM
You could assemble a pretty bad-ass protection squad with all of your fans. If you wanted to do that. I got dibs on the shank!
Relax and take a long nap if you can. We'll all be waiting with baited breath, but we'll all get over it.
Posted by: smartjuice | January 17, 2005 at 12:39 PM
Prayers for you that you are feeling up to your hilarious, witty, charming self soon!
Hugs being sent your way!
And after you are feeling that way again, since you could kick anybody'd ass - can I give you a few names? I'm sure it would make you feel better to really kick some ass!!
HUG!
Posted by: Erin | January 17, 2005 at 12:48 PM
1)I've cried when I've been taken off blogrolls. WTF? Why did I CRY over THAT?
2)I've cried when someone made fun of blogs.
Let me repeat: WTF? Why did I CRY over THAT?
I feel ya' doll. Hang in there. That's why I get the notify - so I'll know no matter what - even though I check several times a day regardless.
Stalker, much?
Posted by: Zoot | January 17, 2005 at 01:20 PM
You take care of yourself! Buy yourself something pretty (and expensive!)
We'll still be here when you get back.
Big x's!
Posted by: Shano | January 17, 2005 at 01:26 PM
Daaaamn Kid! Remember what my advice always is? Breathe, Amy. Breathe! Be good to yourself. We'll be here when you get back. And damned, if you can't make me laugh even when in the midst of a freak-out tantrum. I won't even begin to go into how awesome you are! ;)
Posted by: Chris | January 17, 2005 at 02:12 PM
Hey Amalah,
Read your posts almost every day, so i'll miss you, but... take it easy!
Get better soon (and your father and your bathroom and ceiba and... everything else).
Big hug Janine
Posted by: Nienuh | January 17, 2005 at 02:25 PM
Ps. Finally read "breakfast at tiffany's". Maybe you have something called the mean reds. Buying expensive stuff (like at Tiffany's, does that still exists, i wouldn't know, as i'm from Europe) definitely helps!
Posted by: Nienuh | January 17, 2005 at 02:28 PM
awwww, ((((HUGE HUGS)))) hon! Hang in there. You do what you gotta do for YOU. I know that I for one ain't goin' anywhere. You're in my thoughts, now GO get some rest girlie! Hugs, Nikki
Posted by: Nikki | January 17, 2005 at 02:40 PM
I don't know what's going on in your life, nor do I need to. Do whatever it is that needs to be done, and make sure you take lots of bubble baths in between. Hot cocoa is good too.
And fuck rude people who leave nasty comments for the sheer hell of it. We all get them occasionally, and they mean very little. You rule!
Posted by: Spring | January 17, 2005 at 02:42 PM
As always, do what you gotta. We'll be here when you're ready. (Oh, and the purple Coaches? Could be just what the doctor ordered ...)
Posted by: Broad | January 17, 2005 at 02:48 PM
Sending lots of love and good thoughts your way.
Posted by: Arwen/Elizabeth | January 17, 2005 at 03:03 PM
Big Hugs to you:)
Feel better
Buy a new purse
Have a cup of Something from Starbucks
Big hugs to your dad:)
Posted by: Dee | January 17, 2005 at 06:11 PM
i don't care HOW long or how many times you need to take a break - i still love you! and will be glad to hear when you're feeling more relieved and relaxed and renewed.
Posted by: Sarcomical | January 17, 2005 at 06:14 PM
Hey girl,
I'm the last one to tell anybody to chin up, but now that I'm in your neighborhood, feel free to come on by and I will be happy to let you cry and rave on all you want to, OK? :D
Dawn
Posted by: dawn | January 17, 2005 at 07:05 PM
I'll miss you too but take care ok? Big ole' hug for you...
Posted by: mzm | January 17, 2005 at 08:05 PM
On these dark dank days
best to take a break for health
so see you soon, yo
Posted by: dorrie | January 17, 2005 at 08:30 PM
Hang in there, Amy.
Posted by: martha | January 17, 2005 at 08:31 PM
Oh my gosh, I so hope you feel better soon. Your posts make me smile every single time I read them and the way you write makes me want to be a better writer! That is how awesome I think you are! So get better and in the meantime, I don't think anyone on here will let people be mean to you. If they are we'll kick their ass. Simple as that!
Posted by: Whitney | January 17, 2005 at 08:53 PM
*hugs* Take all the time you need. We'll be here when you feel better.
Posted by: callistawolf | January 18, 2005 at 01:01 AM
oh, amalah, how i know of the difficulty of the longass todo lists and utter lack of time. your loyal readers will just have to go back and read favorite entries.
on another note, the meanness is not ok. when i lost my virginity, these girls in my suite at college felt it necessary to discuss this amongst themselves and to broadcast the news avec embellishments to other people. i personally took them down and made sure they paid for fucking with me when i was already really confused about how i was feeling. rest assured that i would do the same for you and fuck up anyone that messes with you. because i am a damn loyal friend and even though you don't know me i know if we met we would be like best friends and you would be my mentor but i would still be wise for my 21 years and i'm sorry if that sounds creepy but i just mean that we have several things in common and i think we would get along well.
and let me just say that you are not a selfish, hateful little brat. and i don't care that i don't see you in your daily life and can't cite examples from noninternet reality. i just know you aren't. although i too think that about myself quite often in different variations of bad friend, disappointing daughter, bitch for no reason, generally selfish and awful and unworthy of friendship. but i'm wrong about me and i know you are too.
get some rest.
Posted by: Jackie O | January 18, 2005 at 01:04 AM
i wish you luck...and sanity. i'm feeling kind of similar in that i'm taking an advanced accounting class that is way over my head and it's practically driving me to tears because i don't know what i'm doing. big hugs and all that jazz.
Posted by: tiffanie | January 18, 2005 at 01:27 AM
just wanted to add my voice to the queue: hang in there. I hope things get better for you soon. dunno if this will help, but something I say to myself is "this, too, will pass."
Posted by: Her Ladyship | January 18, 2005 at 12:52 PM
Aw, you rest up and take care of yourself. We'll be here when you get back. Big hugs.
Posted by: Fraulein N | January 19, 2005 at 07:06 PM
Take care of yourself. And I will patiently await your return.
Posted by: Nicole | January 19, 2005 at 07:14 PM