This Post Has Three Titles Already, So I'm Not Typing One Here
Wednesday Advice Smackdown



You know how I like to whine about how busy I am at work? And that I have SO MUCH to do and wah wah wah and feel sorry for me because I'm going die?

And you know how usually I'm full of shit? Well, I'm not this time. I mean it. I am going to die. The cause of death will be stress and many tiny, tiny paper cuts. And possibly frostbite from the whole no-heat-in-the-condo bullshit, which made me very late for work this morning (don't ask), which seriously cut into my valuable freak-out time.

I have so much to do before February 1st that I've hit that deer-in-the-headlights point of panic where all I can do is stare stupidly at my to-do list and move stacks of paper around my desk, as if I'm magically going to find 17 spare special reports and an assistant just lying around under the clutter.

(Also, confidential to a certain person who is not helping things: All this work is NOT MY FAULT. I am sorry that MY HUGUNDOUS WORK LOAD may mean you have to do work as well, but that is YOUR JOB and don't act so surprised when I come to you with your part of this special report brouhaha and act like you had NO IDEA it was coming because YOU DID, you BIG DRAMA QUEEN, and besides, you will never OUT-DRAMA QUEEN ME because I have a WEBSITE on which to throw my tantrums so meeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhfft.)

(Also, just wait until you see what I'll be bringing you next week.)



Sorry about that. Do you think I'll get fired for that? In case the person reads it? Maybe? Or does it need more cursing and personal insults? Because really, getting fired may very well be my only way out.

Well, there is ONE OTHER WAY, but it ain't pretty, because it means postponing the Wednesday Advice Smackdown until at least tomorrow. Which pains me greatly to do, because it's going to be a good one, or it could be if I could just calm the fuck down for a good 30 minutes or so.

How's everybody's July look? Could I get back to you then? Peachy.



Breathe, Amy. Breathe.


Please don't get fired. I fear you wouldn't be able to afford anything from the Coach store then.


I hear you, sister. I can't even imagine what you're going through, because I have an assistant and I still want to crawl under my desk and die. Don't they KNOW we've all just come back from the holidays and it's just TOO MUCH?


Calm down dear, I ve been there and the more stressed you get the more behind you get also. Do the best you can, go home, have a drink an play with Cieba and Max for a while. It will get better.

Or you can be a real bitch and steal the wanna be Drama Queens assistant for your self.

Or just do both!


wow cool tantrum..for a sec I thought Courtney Love was guest hosting. Don't worry everything will be ok.


Hmph. I also have a looming Feb. 1 deadline. Unfortunately I AM the assistant (and office manager, and HR person, and group health administrator, and customer service rep...and...)

My action plan is to just do what I can and if something doesn't get finished it just doesn't get finished. I have updated my resume in case I need to find another job. :0)

Good luck to you!

Scarlett Cyn

Good luck Amy. Breathe. Count to 10. Repeat 30 times or as needed until you calm the hell down.

Don't go and lose your job. Cause that would suck? I mean, Isn't it bad enough that I'm still jobless AND my hubby lost his job yesterday? Don't make this any more screwed than it is by losing YOUR job too.

Well, hell. I forgot to tell you we were both jobless, didn't I? Forgive me.

You are brilliant and you will somehow manage to get it all done. If we, your loyal readers must suffer a tad bit, well, I guess we can manage. Just dont make a damn habit of it, hmmmm?

Loave, Scarlett Cyn


Breathe. Any tranquilizers around? Anything we can do?

Hugs, Babe. One thing at a time. They cannot blame you if you really try. One step at a time. Breathe.


hey - I had a tantrum at work today too! I actually stormed out and went to a bar and drank wine!

... then i slunk back like the coward i am to face the music.



I can't believe you still don't have heat! Unbelievable!


The work freak out. I hate it. I'm experiencing it as well. I find that it's best to follow these simple steps:
1. Keep telling yourself that you do NOT have 3,425 things to do.
2. Shuffle everything. Papers, binders, pens, paper clips. Organizing will make you feel in control.
3. Stare at wall or computer monitor at least 15 minutes each hour.
4. Seek out the long winded co-worker. The one that you normally hate talking with. Get them to tell you a story.
5. Finally, freak the hell out some more and get it all done at the last minute.

Hope this helps.


Um, if you need anything edited, I can do that. I'm just sitting here at work, pushing stacks of paper around, trying to look busy.

Sorry you're swamped, dear. I'm sending cool-as-a-cucumber-yet-fiercely-productive Superwoman vibes your way. And I'm serious about the editing thing. Give it. Borrrred.


You need to go to the smote-ing (I don’t think that’s a word) site because God is taking requests. You can have the Drama Queen smoted.


It sounds like you need to take what I like to call a "mental health day." Except that it seems like you can never take them when you need them most, because if you had time to take a day off, you wouldn't be freaking out in the first place, now would you?


If it makes you feel any better, I'm right there in the same place. I'm literally taking on the responsiblities of several people on top of my 40-50 hour a week load. And now? I am on call FOREVER, to go spend 4-6 days in the field whenever the rivers are flooding. Now doesn't that sound fun?

Nothin' sexier than heavy weather gear... :)
Hang in there, "this too shall pass"...


Well...being the Assistant to the High Poewered Super Shmoozy VP Who Wants Me To Be 500 Places At Once is NOT FUN either. Promise to be nice to your assistant ALWAYS, okay? Because if mine was ever mean I would so totally be fired for smacking him upside the head with my shoe.

kalisah looming deadline is Jan. 24 and of course I just found this out today and I haven't done one ounce of work since returning from the holidays. And the VP that assinged this ridiculously impossible request? His name is Phil. So we actually refer to it as PHREAKING OUT.


I hope your heater gets fixed soon!


Good news in the no heat dept - it's going to be in the 50s and 60s for at least the next two days! That's something right? (You want to throw something at my shiny, happy head, don't you?)

In the bad news dept, did you DC folk hear about the demise of WHFS? At noon today it died and then was resurrected at 12:05 as Zol!, a Spanish station where, apparently, they "party all the time".


all these people telling you to breathe and count and shit? no no no... freak out. it's like going the wrong way towards a destination- instead of backing up on the interstate, circumnavigate the globe- really all the breathing and the counting?- too hard on your gears. this is when staplers get extra fun; check your sense of accountability at the door and go wild.


aw.. sweetie.. i'm so sorry..
just remember i'm down the street if you need to escape things..
take care and don't feel badly about speaking up about needing help. you are a fabulous editor and a damn hard worker but noone should expect you to do all of this alone.

type a

we just fired my assistant.

kill. me.


Hang in there! You'll be able to get it all done!!

sarcastic journalist

As someone who did get fired, I looked at that and went "Don't write that! Stop! Stop!"

Just never use names. Even if you don't use names, don't make descriptions or call them any types of names.

Because...people are assholes. And they like to rain on cute blonde girls parades.

But I won't turn you in and I wouldn't fire you, either.


See and I'm getting married in July so that will be tough. But seeing as how this place is all about you (and rightly so since you are so loaverly), you get to the Smackdown when you are good and ready. You should even feel free to give the Smackdown to evil co-worker lady.

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