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Wednesday Advice Smackdown

Those Three Little Words That Mean So Much


So okay, I was totally planning on hosting an Advice Smackdown today.

(Collective groans from the readers who know exactly where this is headed.)

No, really! I was! I had questions lined up! Advice at the ready! I just needed to take care of this one tiny thing at work first.

And it was tiny. I needed exactly three words added to a particular web site. Three words! And two of them were hypenated!

But as it turns out, the Only Person who knew how to add these three words to this particular web site has left the company, leaving a Jurassic Park-like trail of secrets and mystery and missing web forms in his wake.

After two hours (no really, TWO HOURS) of sitting at some IT guy's desk while he searched and DOS'd and SQL'd his way through our interwebnet infrastructure, trying to find a way to add my three stupid annoying words, he finally admitted that it would easier if we just REBUILT THE ENTIRE PAGE.

Which is taking HOURS. All of which I have spent at his desk, staring at his wall calendar, counting the days until every major pregnancy milestone I can think of.

Then I finally got to come back to my desk for a few minutes, where I was greeted with some unbelievable news from Miss Zoot. This news freaked me out so much that I immediately had to drive to McDonald's where I consumed approximately 347 Chicken McNuggets.

I feel calmer now, but a little gassier.

And now I must go back to IT guy's desk. How lucky for him.

Advice Smackdown tomorrow? Ya think? What's Vegas have to say about my odds on following through with a single blessed thing? Place your bets now at advice@amalah.com.



I was afraid the Advice Smackdown was never going to return, so I am happy to wait a day. Or five.


I can wait!
I heard about Zoot's news too. I really hope this one works out! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her.

In the meantime, I'll be sending speedy website building thoughts to you. I don't know the first thing about building webpages, but I can imagine it's a nightmare.


Good God Woman!! Rebuiding a website! Any plans for the wheel at your office?

so glad the mcnuggets are your friend!


Do you get like a gallon sweet-n-sour sauce with 347 chicken nuggets? Maybe they are nice and give you several kinds of sauce in pints.


How many years has McDonalds served the Chicken McNugget? And how many hundreds or thousands of them have I eaten? Still, everytime I order them, if the McDonald's employee is rude, I make it a POINT to do this number:

Employee: Herr go yo' orrrdrr.
Me: Um, can I get some sauce for my McNuggets?
Employee: Whiuch khan eww woant?
Me: Um...(knowing full well)...which kinds do you have?
Employee: rattles off list
Me: Er...come again?
Employee: rattles off list again
Me: Uh...what was that second one?
Employee: Bahhr-b-que?
Me: Oh no, maybe it was the third one?
Employee: Sweet n sourrrr
Me: Hmm. No, that wasn't it...?
Employee: blank stare
Me: blank stare
Employee: looks as if she's ready to scream
Me: I'll just take one of each.

That ALWAYS pisses them off! Haha! Oh...am I a bastard or what?


Good Christ. I want to bitch slap your IT guy into next Tuesday, because he is clearly an idiot. "Rebuild the page" my ass. Dumbass. It's called "search & replace."

And, oh, how I know the pain of having to SIT at someone else's desk and watch them work for HOURS when you have PLENTY of other shit you could be doing. Haaaaate.


In Canada we have McChicken sauce, which is a special mayo for the McChicken Sandwich. It's so popular as a fry and nugget dip that McDs started packaging it as a condiment, in small McNugget sauce style packets.

Yum. Especially on fries. Now. Want. Some.


Don't feel bad about the McNuggets. Every good American baby needs to learn about the beauty of the capitalist system sometime. And I ate 2 and a half pounds of popcorn chicken at KFC over the weekend. And I am not pregnant.

But YOU are!! Woohoo!!!


It must've been a day for freaky IT crap. I managed to delete one of the websites that I am responsible for. Oh, the panic. God forbid I know how to code and I added one line of code and the site evaporated! And you can't hit the tiny red EDIT button when there is NOTHING on the page! :) I couldn't find the IT person (probably was in YOUR office! LOL) so I had to fix it myself.

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