The Week in Pictures
Reassure Me All You Want, There's No Denying That All This Nursery Talk Must End NOW

The Carousel of Progress!


No, I have not gone into labor or run off to Vegas on a Greyhound bus. I'm just really tired of writing about my goddamn nursery. But that's all I have to talk about, because that's ALL I DO AND THINK ABOUT AND ALSO DO. Nurserynursery nestnestnest.

See? You're bored already. I can tell.

But boring or not, this is where we stand:

Crib: Assembled, despite missing instructions. We are smart and handy, although there are an awful lot of screws left over.

The crib is outfitted with a heartbreakingly pretty bedding set that my brother sent us -- a bedding set so extravagant that when Jason zapped it with the registry scanner thing at the store we both sort of laughed at the mere IDEA of anyone actually buying it for us because NO ONE loves us that much. But shockingly enough, my big brother does and I'm so glad, because we probably would have waited another three weeks to assemble the damn crib if we hadn't both been foaming at the mouth in anticipation of seeing the bedding set in action.

Thank-You Notes: Horrifically behind. Have not even acknowledged receipt of bedding set to brother via phone or email. Am hoping he reads this entry. Otherwise, am huge brat. But also hugely pregnant and therefore excused. Right?

Bouncy Seat: Assembled. Needs batteries. Went to Target yesterday for batteries and a laundry hamper; ended up spending $160 on baby-related items instead. I'm...still not really sure what happened. Money! Gone! Poof! Left with bags of tiny socks and burp pads and a very small bathrobe that I'm pretty sure isn't a necessary item for an infant to own but IT WAS ON CLEARANCE, PEOPLE. IT COST $6 AND HAS DUCKS ON IT.

Pack-N-Play: Assembled. Also needs batteries for the vibration/nature sounds/white noise features that I'm sure I will hate with the heat of many hot suns. Is strategically placed right next to the bed for easy baby feeding and middle-of-the-night collisions when I get up to pee.

Legs: Bruised.

Funky-Hanging Door on Dresser/Changing Table Combo Thing: Fixed. We went to Babies-R-Us this weekend to buy the boring shit off our registry that no one bought us. (I cannot believe no one bought the breast pump! Or the waterproof mattress pad! Or diaper rash cream!) While we were there, Jason sweet-talked a salesguy into giving us a non-bent hinge from a floor model. Score!

Nesting Instinct: Sated at last. I can now spend every waking hour in the nursery, folding tiny clothes and putting them in drawers to my heart's content. Then I get to change my mind and re-fold everything and put it in different drawers. It's ridiculously awesome.

And I won't even talk about my love for the closet organizer and the tiny, tiny hangers.

Or how much fun I have arranging various diaper-changing necessities. I want to hug my diaper stacker and good lord, even the vaseline has its very own place and I will KILL ANYONE who disturbs the delicate order of my changing table.

Yet I have only done one load of baby-type laundry. I cannot bring myself to rip tags off his clothes. That would imply that I am definitely having this baby and that nothing will go terribly, horribly wrong.

(Why everything else on this list fills me with peaceful joy while the thought of ripping tags off a $6 baby bathrobe fills me with neurotic terror, I'll never know.)

(Oh. Right. The Crazy. That's why.)

Photos: Um. Yeah. So while the nursery looks nice and mostly clutter-free right now, we've kind of let the rest of our house go to hell. Currently, the following things are creating a major fire hazard in our living room and foyer:

Nursery furniture boxes
Carseat box
Pack-N-Play box
Diaper Genie box
Bouncy seat box
14 assorted boxes
2 LACK coffee tables from IKEA
1 spare dining table that we haven't used in five years
1 barely-used high chair Jason retrieved from curb that will now be returned to curb since someone bought us a much nicer one
423 wire hangers

Oh. My God. The wire hangers. See, Jason used to keep his clothes in the nursery closet downstairs, leaving me with the entire walk-in closet upstairs. Glorious. But now sacrifices have to be made and his stuff needed to move upstairs. I decided this was something I could do. Two things I learned:

1. Jason has way too many shoes for a heterosexual male.
2. Jason is the wire hanger equivalent of a crazy cat lady.

Seriously. Every time he took something to get drycleaned, he tossed the extra wire hangers in the back of his closet. Where they took root and entangled themselves into a big, interconnected mess. I tried to pick up one hanger and a rat's nest of about 47 other hangers would follow.

Jason was embarrassed that I'd discovered his secret hanger stash and tried to explain how he MEANT to throw them away but they were all so tangled and it was just easier to ignore them and then the next thing he knew they were overtaking the entire closet, and at that point he just shut the door and decided to only wear clothes he could pull directly from the dryer.

See? Just like those crazy people who try to explain how they didn't MEAN to end up with 326 cats, Your Honor, it just HAPPENED.

Anyway. My point: I have temporarily lost the camera in all the clutter and have no photos of the nursery just yet.

But I'm guessing y'all will find a way to cope and move on with your lives. And you're probably only annoyed at the no-photo-ness of this post because oh my God, this means she'll do ANOTHER entry about the nursery once she finds the damn camera, and we're never, ever going to hear the end of it.

I'm sorry. This is what happens when you aren't allowed to drink anymore.



Uhm, I wasn't foaming at the mouth over the bedding. It was mainly my OCD that was making me GET ALL THE BOXES UNPACKED AND OFF THE FLOOR.
OK, I'll admit it. I might have been a little excited about the bedding...


Yes, the OCD that does not extend to the FOUR FRILLION WIRE HANGERS LIVING IN YOUR CLOSET.

I love you!


I'd really like to see a picture of the wire hanger ratsnest.


Amalah, I am in need of a dining table! Do you have pics? Are you selling?

Liz in Maryland

My husband takes a bunch of those wire hangers back to the dry cleaners every time he goes. That way he is recycling them and getting them out of the closet at the same time.


Man, I was hoping, *hoping* for a shot of that hanger nest, but nothin'. I'm feeling a little bit deflated right now.


I grew up hating wire hangers and it became my goal when I left home to get rid of EVERY wire hanger I ever owned.

But now? We're screwed when it comes to roasting marshmellows.


i can only speak for myself when i say that i love hearing about the nursery. even if it is 238 times per week :) keep it up. i'll still read!


We did take a picture of the wire hangers, but alas, it is still on the camera, which is...somewhere.

I will provide a photo soon. Although really? It looked just like a big bunch of hangers. You can probably imagine a better photo, if you try hard enough.


Wait, i want to watch you and jason (watch? read? butt it on? have a fight through posts on your site about hangers. too funny.


wire hangers are majorly frustrating, but my dog won't eat them, (he eats nice thick plastic ones) so those are the ones I'm usually stuck with. Don't ask me how he gets them.

Oh and my nursery looks great on one side, and like a hurricane of boxes and screws and little wooden pegs on the otherside.

I keep saying I need Molly Maid, just for one day, but now it looks more like a week.


The laundry thing is compelling me to provide some assvice. I apologize in advance. Buy one of those lingerie bags to wash all the teeny tiny wee socks in. Otherwise you'll lose them all. Ask me how I know. Oy. And, also, buy the OTC medicines to have in the house (your ped will know what s/he likes to prescribes). Jason will love you THIS MUCH for not having to run to the drug store at 2am. There, I'm done. Whew. LOVE the bedding!


Yes - the wee socks and washcloths - if you have a front loader machine (how could you not have anything so trendy) - the wee things, the soap makes them slippery and they slip thru the gasket and outside the wash-tub thing...then get stuck in the works = expensive repair call, guaranteed for a Sunday or holiday.

GET a lingerie bag for the socks and the washcloths. Experience is talking here!



Okay. Am better now. And that bedding set? Beautiful!! Lucky Squishy!!

Also, why not donate that high chair to a women's shelter? I'm sure it would be greatly appreciated...they might even come pick it up..


Delurking to tell you I have the same problem w/ taking tags off. I'm 34 weeks and cannot bring myself to actually wash the cloths. Take care!


Ya know, leaving the tags on is not such a bad thing. My third son weighed 9lbs, 3oz when he was born (I am about your size)! He never fit into the cute twee clothes I had picked out. Keep them on, just in case.

Real Girl

Speaking of the awesome power of your baby preparedness--and I'm sure you're already up on all taking-care-of-baby matters that ever existed on earth--but do you still have that email I sent you months ago about baby skincare products/ingredients? If you'd like, I'm happy to resend it. On all other matters? Not so helpful am I.


Ohhhh, the achingly beautiful bedding. Too bad the baby is going to puke on it ten zillion times. They should make those baby-proof.

Ok, and? Am not bored and am LOVING the baby-getting-ready nursery stories. LOVE the stories.

And whatever happened to your hardwood stairs? They all done now, or is THAT a sore subject?

Fellow editor

I second Roxie's comments about leaving on the tags. My best friend's son was born two months ago, and she told me she hated the fact that she took off all the tags and washed all the clothes--many of which he never got around to wearing. Leave on some tags, and you can always return them and get cuter baby clothes that he'll actually have a chance to wear! Good luck, and congrats on all of your hard work!


You BETTER do another entry once you find the damn camera! MUST SEE! Annnd, you are SO close to being able to drink again! Think of how far you've come! I have to wait 'til April.......APRIL! One more thing, YAY on the progress! Congrats!


i, for one, am devistated by the lack of photographic evidence supporting the pretense that a nursery now exists. find the camera, leave work if you must. just find it and take a picture before i burst into flames with needing a visual.


I, for one, am not tired of the nursery entries. That way I get to live vicariously through you (and also, other pregnant bloggers) until my husband is ready to start our family. For now, I just have severe baby fever. Can't wait to see nursery pics with the adorable bedding!


Hey Amalah, will you take pictures of your changing table and how you have it organized? I was never quite happy at how I organized the changing table with my first daughter and by golly I am going to like it this time...(due with another girl in 13 wks.) I need help. Thanks!


But I love hearing about the nursery! Besides, knowing that other people are as anal as I am about some things helps. A lot.


We all have OCD?! We being you, Jason AND me?!

Wow, and I can remember back to a time when I thought I was the only one.

I love your posts, and it's disturbing clicking on the site (over and over and over again) and there is YACK! NO UPDATE???!!!

I know, I know, priorities and all that - just as long as you don't convince yourself that we, the readers, are bored of ANYTHING you write.

Enjoy your new soft baby articles and the nursery - if indeed it really now exists. Yah? Well, prove it! Bring on the photos!

Tee hee...


I have a comment, mmm . . . confession/fear, that has nothing to do with your nursery or wire hangers, except maybe its a bit about the photos. I love reading all about Babalah and your pregnancy and everything and so far so good. My fear is that once your sweet sweet baby is born you will begin posting photos of him and it will make me want to have another baby myself and I really really don't want another baby, except, once in a while I do, but I really really really don't, but maybe . . . . oh hell.


You are so effing funny! I'm going to miss crazy pregnant lady when squishy gets here.

Ms Meh

I am so in denial about babyfever. I just read your blog and Celebrity Babies and hang on every. word. you. say. It's sick. And Lord, if my boyfriend read this... well, he'd roll his eyes and know I'm really not ready. But keep going, I'm still interested in the nursery talk.

Fraulein N

That bedding set is absolutely beautiful, or whatever the equivalent is for a little boy. Forget the wire hanger nest, I want to see the little bathrobe. Because tiny clothes = So! Cute!

Janet B

Did you wash those baby clothes in Dreft??? If not, you'd better start over -- regular laundry detergent will be too harsh for your sweet baby's skin. Get the Dreft!


I so remember the question of to remove the tags or not to remove the tags. I was so worried that me removing the tags meant that something would go wrong. I was so glad that I did not remove the tags because when my daughter was born she was 9lb and 13oz and would not fit in the tiny little clothes we had.


The wire hangers are a menace at my house as well. But the only reason I don't complain about it (which is HIGHLY unlikely for me because I? Complain about everything) is because they are all from my husband's work laundry that I never have to touch because the company he works for provides a laundry service for them.

Can't WAIT to see pictures of the beeyooteeful nursery. Babalah will be here SO SOON!!!


umm... holy crap, as your baby is going to be sleeping on better sheets then i have ever owned!!! seriously so pretty! can't wait to see pics of the nursery... keep the post coming!


More assvice: ah, the organizing the changing table. I had (still have) lots of cute baskets from Pottery Barn Kids, lots of baby care items. Now all that's on top of the changing table is the wipes and several toys. See, the kid will want to start to grab the blue booger sucker, the nail clippers, the hairbrush, the baby-safe Q-tips, and all of the other handy things you put on top of the changing table and EAT them. Or at least mine does. All of the necessary items are stored underneath, away from grabby baby hands. But you've got at least 6 months before you have to worry about that. Right now, I'm sure your main concern is how to keep the wipes warm for the Babalah's cute baby tushie!


You mean I wasn't supposed to wash his clothes in undiluted chlorine bleach? Was formaldehyde was a poor choice for a fabric softener? What about the pretty little arsenic sachets I put in all his drawers?

(Yes, I used Dreft.)


Your baby has much nicer bedding than me. I am sad about this. I thinkI need to buy new bedding.

Bonanza Jellybean

Ummmm, Jason, Joan Crawford WOULD NOT BE PLEASED.

Don't worry- I didn't do the big Target trip for my daughter until the NIGHT BEFORE SHE WAS BORN. I was being induced, so I figured I wasn't going to get out of it anymore, and I would look like a real ass if the baby came home and had to be naked with no bathtub and a washcloth for a bib. Grandparents would not be impressed.

It's all lovely!


How does one just magically know to use 'Dreft'? Please tell me you have researched 'baby things' and found this choice!


HAAAA. The snarky Amalah with arsenic sachets is almost as cool as the nesting nursery-obsessed one.

Laura GF

That bedding is so pretty! Cannot wait to see your finished nursery. You two have wonderful taste and I am sure it is beautiful. Glad to hear that completing it is helping calm your nesting instinct! Also: please, photos of that bathrobe? Whenever you unearth the camera, I mean. It sounds too cute!


I have assembled carseat and stroller, but haven't ripped tags from clothing, either! Thank you for pointing out how incongruous that is!

Off now to rip tags to my merry heart's content.


Don't feel too bad about the thank you notes - yet. When I attempted to do joined-up writing on thank you notes for gifts for my first baby I was frustrated not only because of the usual bran-numbing exhaustion, but also because I realised some of the people on my list were still waiting on a wedding gift thank you from 14 months earlier... and they still loved me enough to send a gift for my baby, go figure.
Then I had twins (now three, no notes). I recently read about a company that can secretly write all your thank you notes and send them to you to sign and send... I so get that.


Oh you should be good to go with those arsenic sachets, my mom used them on me and I seemed to turn out all right (twitch twich).


Amalah, I'm delurking after months of reading to join the reassurance bandwagon. I *love* reading about all of your nursery/baby escapades, and am actually horrified to find that every time I click on your site a little spark of baby fever ignites inside me. Seeing as I'm only 22 and boyfriend gets hives at the thought of walking down the aisle, this is a distinctly NOT GOOD THING!! So, for now, I live vicariously through you, and deny my own baby urges! So--in short--keep it up :)


When Crazy Pregnant Lady leaves, Crazy Nursing and No-Sleep-For-Days-At-A-Time Lady will arrive to take her crazy place! Can't wait! :-)

I love all your stories AND your pics, so keep 'em all coming. It brings back good memories for me, and even more happily, no Must Have Another Baby urges, because I get to live vicariously through you instead. I, and my uterus, thank you.


"It's a great, big beautiful tomorrrooow, shining at the end of every daaaayy!"

Not to worry about not washing all the clothes. All Squishy will need is some onesies and some light receiving blankies (and maybe some wee socks) for the first several days at least. Then you can see how big he is and start ripping tags then if you want.


Some of your readers are patiently waiting for the time when THEY will have the babies. Consider your site to be a much-needed baby fix for those who are too scared to ask for help or a WEDDING ALREADY. You know, whatever.

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