Mommy Blog THIS, Bitches
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No hangover today.

But I do have a child who officially hates my boobs with all the passion and fury in the world. The hatred has been building for a few days, and is now at a fever pitch of screeeaming rage and anger. We also have the return of the crunchy toast point nipples from my dogged determination to NOT LET THIS CHILD REJECT MY BREASTS AT THREE WEEKS OLD AFTER ALL THAT PUMPING AND FENUGREEK GODDAMMIT.

He appears to have made his choice. Fuck you, Dr. Brown.

I think a pounding headache would hurt less than this.



You might try The ladies on their message board can definately give you some pointers.


Your poor nipples


Hi Amy, Don't give up or let him give up; just call the lactation consultant again and she'll help. And don't call La Leche (if someone is a member, just don't shoot me). They will convince you that just giving one bottle will turn the baby off the breast. Its totally B.S. Also, remmeber if you don't relax you won't let down and then you both will be frustrated. Hang in there.


That really sucks (the choice and the crunchy nipples).


Hi Amy, Don't give up or let him give up; just call the lactation consultant again and she'll help. And don't call La Leche (if someone is a member, just don't shoot me). They will convince you that just giving one bottle will turn the baby off the breast. Its totally B.S. Also, remmeber if you don't relax you won't let down and then you both will be frustrated. Hang in there.

Heather B.

I'm assuming that the crunchy nipples, falls into the category of things that hurt? I have no ad or ass vice. But to say, that sucks. Sorry.


I fear the crunchy toast point nipples. Oh... I fear them.

Good luck today!


Awww, you poor dear! Perhaps my favorite quote applies here: "No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap."

Or, perhaps not.

I hope things get better!


Amy --
I'm sorry to hear about Noah's refusal to nurse. My daughter Brynn, who's now 7 months old, did something similar when she was first born -- stubbornly refused to nurse on my right breast. I became a frustrated, hysterical, engorged wreck, my husband thought I had totally lost my shit, so much fun. So I sympathize and want to encourage you not to give up. Breastfeeding is really, really hard! Also, I sought out a lactation specialist and consulted w/ my daughter's pediatrician. Both were very helpful and supportive. You deserve the same if/when you seek help. And remember: You are a great mom, and don't let any crazy, insensitive breast-feeding nazi make you feel differently because you're having trouble with breastfeeding! (I constantly needed this reassurance when my daughter wouldn't nurse; I figure you might appreciate hearing it too!)


I'd love to help but I'm a lowly male who can not only not deliver a baby, but certainly cannot feed one with nothing but my own body.

About the only thing I'm good for is squishing bugs and going to the store at 2 AM for Ben and Jerry's, so lemme know if that'll help any.


I'm sorry. The whole mommy thing really sucks sometimes.


I'm having my first baby in 8 weeks, also a boy, so I can't tell you how happy I am to have stumbled upon your blog. Looking forward to my own crunchy toast point nipples.


Poor boobs. Poor baby. Poor mommy. (((hugs))) I can only imagine how frustrating that is...


Amy, I feel for you. My daughter did that for a while when she was very small as well. I thought I did not have enough milk or that she preferred the bottle to my breast. It's Just a Phase they go through. Keep offering breast first, if he screams, give him a bottle. Try to breastfeed when he is drowsy, like in the middle of the night. He is still very very young, so he probably has not made any permanent choices yet. Books, LCs and LaLeche league will all go on about how you should not have given him a bottle before 6 weeks, nipple confusion and all that BS (as the earlier post said). Throw away the books, dont believe the nipple confusion BS and try to relax. Just be patient, don't give up breastfeeding because as you know a) pumping sucks b) nothing beats boobs in nutrition, portability, hygiene and temperature control, especially when you are travelling or out and about.

Have a beer!


Geez...attitude already at 3 weeks old. :) Hopefully he'll outgrow this phase very quickly. Also, glad to hear about the no-hangover thing. I can't imagine dealing with a screaming baby with the kind of hangover headaches I have.


Look on the bright side - Carbon Leaf is coming to the 9:30 Club on December 18th.

Okay, that has nothing to do with breast feeding, but it may make the rest of the day a little less annoying...


I can't do anything other than offer my sympathy, and I'm late on the pics comments, but I think I did just go a little blind. He's just amazing!


All I can say is owwww! I checked out a breastfeeding book from the library that said at 3 weeks there is usually a growth spurt and the baby will want to eat even more and more often. Hang in there Amy!

Jody W.

I had those boobs. Man! Those were the (bad) days.

My now-3 yr old insisted on a stupid "baby fish mouth" and wouldn't latch until, hm, a month old? I kept at it. I didn't want to wash all those damn bottles.

My sister lurks here and she could really tell fun stories about my adventures in breastfeeding. Which I sort of hope she doesn't, unless she doesn't say whose sister she is.

catherino (another Noah mommy)

If you don't want to give it up, then don't give it up. Bottles and bf'ing aren't mutually exclusive. He's still so young (I started to say 'little' but I'm afraid he passed that point while still in utero!) that you're both still in a learning curve. I don't care what anybody says - nursing can be really hard sometimes. But man is it ever worth it if you can get through the rough patches.

You'll probably want to add this to the list of topics never to mention to the internet again. We're just overflowing with wisdom for you, huh?


Awww, man. I'm sorry. Hang in there. For what it's worth, Anna Sofia does that incessant latching, unlatching, rooting, crying thing too. Usually when she's tired. It is terribly unnerving. Today was a particularly fussy day. She's finally down for a nap. Sweet, sweet nap!


Is it possible that Noah has chosen the bottle not because he hates your boobs but because he LUUUUVS the way the milk comes flowing oh-so-easily out of the bottle? If he's going through a growth spurt, maybe he's just frustrated that the boobs dispense milk slower and require more effort on his part.

Heh, doesn't this sort of battle of the wills usually happen when the kid is 2? Your baby is so ADVANCED!!!! ;-)


De-lurking to say:
Your blog rocks!
Your baby may possibly be cuter than any of MY babies ( & I've had 5).
The person who said your little guy might not want to nurse because it's not coming out fast enough as compared to a bottle may be on to something -- but don't give up! Give him a bottle & try the nursing when he's not so ravenous -- sort of like a "treat" for the both of you after he's eaten. Nursing is hard, but there are NO RULES & you can do it as often or not as you want. I'm not an expert, I just play one on the internet. Good luck & I'll be thinking good thoughts!


I remember those days . and also stomping my feet at times..but it is worth if only for those extra selfish calories...Also running around "flaps" down with neosporean (spelling?) on my nipples between feedings..really helps...and I know crack nipples are no fun...And I also used a bottle and nursed..I had a nine lb plus baby and sometimes they just need a little bit more..
and that nine pounder kept growing
wait till you seen what they eat when they are sixteen


"If Mommy ain't happy, ain't noboday happy!"

Do what your heart tells you. What you think is best. I'll say it because noboday else has...weaning does not mean you failed.

Just some food for thought. Good luck, you are doing a great job!


Lansinoh is a wonderful wonderful thing.

I'm hoping it all works out for you.


Also de-lurking or whatever it is called. =)

I also think your blog rocks. =)

Becoming a mommy too in 2 months (or am I already a mommy since I've had to carry and sustain this life for the past 7 months? Or do I have to "graduate" to that title?) Everybody I've talked to that has breastfed insists that breastfeeding is SO HARD in the beginning and uber painful, but ultimately rewarding. But that if, at some point, it becomes so depressing and demoralizing that you can't take it anymore, then the bottle is a wonderful, wonderful thing.

Good luck to you. I hope today gets better and that tomorrow even more so. Maybe the breakthrrough is just around the corner. =)


It's okay. That's exactly the amount of time I breast fed (or tried to) my daughter. Sometimes there's no use fighting it.


Wish I had some amazing words of wisdom, but I used them all up at parent/teacher conferences last night. Had to pretend I was a functionally literate adult so that they didn't grab my son and run screaming into the night.

The aforementioned son went through the same thing, boob aversion-wise, for about, oh, three days. That stopped when I realized that they no longer prescribe that drug *whose name now escapes me* that dries up your breast milk quickly and painlessly. Day three was a milestone in rock hard, engorged breasts, and that's the day that I decided he was TAKING the breast, whether he liked it or not, before one of them simply exploded, leaving me hideously lopsided and unable to wear a bathing suit. He got agreeable all of a sudden and breast feeding ensued. I was beyond grateful.

If no one's mentioned it to you yet, Clinique has THE single most amazing lotion on the face of the planet. Deep Comfort Body Butter. I'm a slave to it, and it might just help you with the toast...

Good luck with Noah, the eye gougingly cute offspring.


ewwww. crunchy toast point nips sound like the worst. thing. ever. period.

For Joke!

Wait, does that mean you are no longer feeding breast milk? Or are you no longer feeding FROM the breast, but breast milk from the bottle. Or are you feeding formula?

Obviously, I am not a mother, nor will I be any time soon. Please explain for us neophytes out here.


I feel you. But I have the opposite problem.

I did as the LC's said and didn't feed a bottle until 4 weeks, and then I didn't do it much since they often said to wait until 6 weeks. Well, she now very vehemently refuses a bottle. We are desperately trying to get her to take a bottle because I? I have to go back to work in 4 weeks.

Ahhh, I am so jealous of your drinking... very hard to do when one *must* feed the baby...

Best of luck amalah. I know from reading your blog for several months now how much you want to breastfeed, and how hard you've worked to get to this point what with all the pumping etc.


I hope I don't end up sounding like a BF nazi... but please don't stop trying. Nursing is such a special way to bond with your baby. The way he's arching his back sounds like it could be acid reflux... but i'm sure you'll get a million 'it could be this, it could be that' - bottom line, talk to your LC and get her opinion! Your baby is so beautiful and I wish you both the best of luck.


Bless your heart! Those nursing strike deals really suck! If it's any consolation, the first 2 months with my first were the hardest (I had to do the awful pumping and bottle feeding through thrush madness,too), but I toughed it out (read: was too damned stubborn to listen to all my friends and family with the "I told you so's" LOL) and it got much better.

I'll tell you there's nothing like a nice, warm bath or shower with your little one to help ease the evil engorgement. Maybe it'll relax your little guy enough that he'll feel like nursing again, too.

Good luck!


Crunchy Toast Nipples - Ahh, I remember those! I think the pain peaked for me at 3-4 weeks, I remember sitting in the rocking chair, putting baby to breast, and actually SEEING my toes curl upward in pain! I swear! I didn't think it was physically possible. DD chewed a permanent grove into nipples that never went away. Keep up the fenugreek and also eat LOTS of oatmeal, cookies preferably. You have a beautiful baby boy!


Ouch! Sounds difficult. Don't let anyone tell you what's right or make you feel guilty.


I just wanted to say good luck in whatever you choose! Just remember that no matter what happens, its YOUR baby, YOUR nipples and YOUR choice! We are proud of you either way!


Sounds like its possible that he's hit the three week growth spurt?

Sometimes there's a certain amount of frustration when baby is RAVENOUS because he's about to double his birthweight overnight, and the darn boobs WON'T GIVE IT UP FAST ENOUGH.

At least, that happened at my house. It might be happening at yours?


Oh, P.S. If the flow rate is the issue, you might try breast compression to help him out with that. You sort of apply gentle pressure with the hand supporting the breast he's feeding from, to get the milk to come out under more pressure.

I read about it on a website -- Jack Newman's site, I think. Saved my butt on a number of levels, because not only did it satisfy Mr. I WANT IT NOW! but it also was the only thing that made pumping possible for me. I couldn't get a serious letdown without doing that.


You can do it!

and also

I only made it to 4 weeks with my nipple-rejecting infant and crunchy nipples.

Evil, evil, breast pump. I hate it so.

Good luck!!


((Amy)) I feel your pain, I really do. If I can tell you something without it sounding preachy, I'd like to. I went through the same thing with my last son, he would scream satan's scream when I tried to nurse him. It was very, let me stress, very unpleasant. I would give the baby to my husband until he was calm and I was calm and then I would attempt to feed him again. It too a couple of days, but we got into a groove and he was nursing like a champ again.

You sound like a great mom with great instincts and your husband sounds like a super dad and tremendous help to you. You will be fine and so will that precious baby. Remember, he is going through changes too!

Hang in there!


One reason I can think of for babies making the choice of bottle over breast, is that the bottle is a lot easier to get milk out. Babies form strong cheek muscles from nursing. It's work. So it's just a lot less work for them to get the milk from the bottle.

It's not you. It's him.

It's a tough call, and I have to say that breastfeeding was probably the hardest thing I ever learned how to do. The. Hardest. Thing. It really does hurt. Bad. But it's also worth it, which is why so many women are driven crazy by the dilemma.

One thing that really helped with my letdown was using a sock filled with rice, microwaved just long enough to make a nice warm compress. The warmer you can get those ducts, the better the letdown.

Can you turn the pump settings down so they don't use so much pressure? I remember how I had mine turned all the way up when I first had my daughter, and found out that it was just way too high. I did OK on the lowest setting. Took a little longer, but my nipples were pain-free afterward.

It gets easier. It's just the first few weeks that are the biggest challenge. Not to mention the sleep your body needs and is probably not getting much of.

The first month. So precious. So challenging.



Kinda sounds like colic. . .my son had colic and I felt like I couldn't do anything right! He would be screaming because he was hungry, I'd try to nurse, and he'd scream more. I remember a lot of hand-offs to my husband when I'd get beyond frustrated. Keep at it, it'll only get better and easier. Now my son is 22 months and still nurses a few times a day!


Just remember you are the mommy and he's the baby and it's all going to work out just fine.

Poor poor nips. It's not glamorous this mommy gig.


Oh God, I am sure I am the 20th person to post this but I had the crunchy toast nips too, so bad they were infected and I had to give up the breastfeeding. I feel ya pain, sistafriend. One day it'll be a funny story you tell over dinner.

Well, you'll think it's funny.


My daughter is 2.5 weeks old. Try Avent bottles. I never had a problem with my first daughter and this one switches back and forth no problem.

Good luck; hope it works out.


I am a la leche member but I am not a nazi and I totally support every moms choice in how they feel like feeding their baby. But I might be able to help you with your problems. First of all I would definately recommend getting a prescription for diflucan. Mainly because since you are a csection it screws up so much of your bacteria and the second thing I would recommend would be an all purpose nipple cream that you can make at home. Its pretty much the same thing as Jack Newman (canadian dr) uses. Its equal parts lotrimin, lansinoh and cortizone cream, apply a thin layer after every feeding and anytime you have pain and I guarantee you will be feeling so much better within a day or so. My daughter suffered from UTI's as an infant so she would be on antibiotics for 8 weeks straight which would just wreak havoc on nursing. I tried it all and the only thing that really helped was taking the diflucan and then using the nipple cream. Also there is a big growth spurt at 3 weeks and since he had bottles yesterday with your mom he may just be in a mood today for the fast flow. Good luck with whatever choices you make.


hey yeah...
Dr.Newmans ointment, often your local pharmacy will whip up a batch for ya. Saved my life with the last baby, it's like dipping sad toast points into cooling, soothing honey-butter. If you decide you want to go that route just have someone call around till they find a place that will make it ( usually the old school mom and pop joints). Don't do it yourself b'cause you sure don't need the extra frustration right now. (making it or FINDING a place that makes it)

We did the same thing as y'all, the whole purple nips, grapefruit seed oil yah-dah yah-dah...
really though... you are the mama, and you decide what is the best way to go for you and the babalah.

happy vibes to you!


sorry about the ass vice... it just kills me to hear you going thru what I went thru. I can't change how I felt when it happened to me, and I remember so vividly the hellish dark time that it was... I think I'm trying to reach thru the internet and MAKE it better for you. I'm kinda like a guy that way, I want to FIX the problem when maybe what you want is a sympathetic ear.

so... dang it,
it will all be ok in the end.


I am finally, finally delurking to say something witty and wise: that sucks a big one. Or maybe it doesn't suck (har)(sad pun, I know). I don't have kids, but I've seen it done. (Watched someone give birth vs given birth, same thing right? Right??) But good luck, and I looove to read your blog, kid or no. Keep on keepin' on.


Love your blog and baby Noah is just adorable. Now as a breastfeeding mom myself here's thought: breastfeeding let downs can be very strong. The flow can actually be to fast not to slow. If Noah is upset after he latches on for a few seconds try pumping an ounce or two out before you feed him to release the milk and that initial flood. My sis did this with her first baby because her let down was so strong it "choked" her daughter.

Oh and the one other thing I learned breastfeeding my kiddos Cows Milk can give them gas via breastmilk. I couldn't drink it with either of them! My poor gassy babies did not appreciate my love of milk!

Good Luck!!


Hi Amy, I totally feel that this situation can be infuriating.
What I would do is wait. If the kid has enough built-in energy in his body than a few days of *reduced diet* (that is = less milk) might not do him harm at all. Teeth are way too early, hmmm...
I think he might have a colic? My first kid had it and at regular times of a day, for weeks on and on he would just scream and not eat. We would look at the clock with my husband and would tell reassuringly each other: oh, don't worry dear. It's just the 5pm colic of the day.

Also as someone else mentioned it could be something you eat.

Don't give up.

Wacky Mommy

Babies can get whimsical about nursing. I thought my daughter was weaning herself two or three different times, then she'd throw herself back into it with abandon. It was a little confusing, at first. It's all supply and demand -- your body will adjust to Noah. My daughter ended up nursing for two years, but the second year I didn't pump, I just nursed her in the morning and night at home, and she drank soymilk during the day.

RockStar Mommy

Those first drinks after the baby comes are the absolute best. And no hangover to go with it? Fucking awesome.

But seriously, my son HATES my boobs. And then he DEVOURS them. I just don't get it. Everyone tells me it's cause I fucked him up by giving him bottles and binkies also. What-the-fuck-ever. I need SOMETHING to make my life a little easier sometimes. But yeah... I guess I did it to myself and all that bullshit. So, I pump a lot. Then sometimes he decides to breastfeed and it hurts like a motherfucker.

Here's to indecisive, stubborn little boys who will probably never grow out of it. :/


After reading comments such as these, I worry that you'll turn off your comments function altogether. Some people really cannot help themselves.


I missed the Lactation Consultant v2.0 post while traveling for work, but let me just say.. that depression commercial? The crying was not post partum anything, that commercial is downright heartwrenching. Poor puppy!

And poor nipples! Hang in there.

Last Girl On Earth

Poor thing. All I can say is... OUCH!


Well said RockStar Mommy!

I've read that its normal for a sudden refusal to nurse. Is the thrush gone? Maybe he's just sensitive to what you eat... ummm yea, just some ideas I guess.

Owen had boob issues last night. It was a nursing marathon from like midnight until 3:30am. I think it may have been the onion rings, but my God dude. He's on. He's off. He screams. He's back on... anyway.

Hang in there!You are doing great!


um, let the baby's butt out in the air? ;-)


My kid is only 6 days old and thus far, I have been calling the whole breastfeeding experience Nipple Munch 2005.

I could NOT live without the Soothies - they are the gel patches (but not used with the lanolin). I CANNOT RECOMMEND THEM ENOUGH. SHALL I REPEAT THAT?????? I got them as a baby shower gift from one of my cousins who is a lactation consultant. I started using them Thursday as I looked with tears streaming down my face at my blistered nipples. As of today, my toes still curl for the 1st minute when he latches, but after that, things are GOING MUCH BETTER and I am not dreading every 2 hours like before.

Seriously - check them out if you haven't already. If you have and this is useless advice - my apologies. I am behind on reading my blogroll. Hang in there, sistah! :-)

EEK. Must go NOW - the little monkey beckons my services.


I think you already have enough advice (assvice some of it maybe, but that's inevitable) about what might be causing Noah to reject the breast, what you can do now to get over it or how you can encourage him to breastfeed people who know way better than me what works and what doesn't. All I can say is: I feel your crunchy nipple pain, and I hope you soon find a way to make it better, and I hope you and Noah resolve this little disagreement soon...whatever way best combines what you want, what he needs, what he wants and what is best for both of you. I have no clue, but I hope between yourself, Jason, professional help and suggestions from your readers (who do seem to care about you and Noah) it works out.


Just remember this... all we can ever do is our best. Just do your best. It'll be good enough. It always is....


Just remember this... all we can ever do is our best. Just do your best. It'll be good enough. It always is....

(it... it always does. Not I. It shouldn't read I always does. I am an educated human being. I swear even though it sure doesn't sound that way by my comments.)


Sorry you are having such a rough time.


Lansinoh is wonderful, but I'm intrigued by the three-part mixture from the Canadian above. Hunh.

Yeah, my daughter was a LARGE baby (larger than any of the weights being thrown around in these comments by several pounds) and she was an enthusiastic nurser for quite some time.

However, I found that alcohol really affected my milk supply for several days; usually the second day after alcohol was the worst. Mostly, I was drinking wine at formal occasions, only a glass, but it would dry me up for a few days. Bothered both me and my daughter immensely.

As for the nipple confusion... well, there is some truth to it. What I've found with my friends and the mother's group I'm in is that it won't be a problem if you have a kid who is rather flexible and adjusts well. If you have a kid who needs routines and structure and familiarity, then you need to pick either bottle or breast and go with it for a while. Good luck!

King of the Hill

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I would not be a woman for all the tea in China. Hats off to anyone who can go through that and still call people "motherfucker." I salute you, fair lady!

Margarita Mama

I know this is an unpopular thing to say, but if the breast feeding doesn't work, Noah will still be healthy. I have 3 freakishly healthy bottle-fed children to prove it. They didn't have ear infections and they have no food allergies, and they're intelligent to boot.

I'm not against breast-feeding, I tried everything for weeks with my first. I sobbed uncontrollably when my milk dried up. Whatever happens, he will be happy and healthy. Good luck. And enjoy your sweet baby, he'll grow so breath-takingly fast.


I must say you have the most cutest baby doll in the world, but you make me scared to ever have a kid...crunchy toast point nipples??? god.


I listened to the BF nazis who told us not to give the baby a bottle when we were still trying to breastfeed. Poor little guy was starving. I tell anyone I can now that the books and specialists know the "general" or "average" situations, but -- to date -- there are no books written about you & your baby. Just do what's right for you and your little guy & tell everyone else to fuck off.


Amy, I feel your pain. A headache would hurt much less than being rejected by your child. If it's so natural, why is it so (insert expletive here) hard!!

My daughter is almost 7 months old, and we've gone through our fair share of difficult days too. Turned out she didn't like caffeine as much as I did, even though I was only drinking 1/2 a cup of coffee per day. Now, she's absolutely refusing to nurse at all, and I'm afraid my milk supply is officially depleting. I'm so heart broken.

We can cry together.


Maybe this will crack a smile (no pun on the cracking nipples -- really.)
My 5 year old son said to me in the car over the weekend...
"Mommy, can we just stop talking now? You are giving me a headache."
How's THAT?! Ah, you have so, so much to look forward to. Of course, later on he came over to give me a BIG HUG and tell me that he loves me. And that? Makes it ALL worth it.

Lisa Ann

Crunchy nipples? Ouch!
I will NOT be googling that.

We need more pictures of Noah.


Why the hell is it considered assvice to encourage Amalah not to give up, and to suggest ways to make the situation better instead of automatically picking up a can of formula? Everyone who has posted thus far have been very gentle and kind and informative, not mean or abrasive at all. Sorry you're struggling, dear Amalah. If you can get to six weeks, you're golden, i swear.

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