The Internet Really Needs Another Rant About Breastfeeding
In Which Photos Redeem Another Crappy Entry

The Girl Who Cried Boob

So. The Great Nursing Strike of 2005 is over.

I reached my breaking point yesterday and decided that I? Was quitting the breastfeeding thing. Ding! I'm done, crack open the Similac and let's all toast to Modern Engineered Nutrition.

But I didn't have any clean bottles. So I popped everything in the sterilizer and stuck it in the microwave.

But I didn't feel like listening to Noah scream for four whole minutes. So I popped open my shirt and stuck him on the boob.

FORTY MINUTES LATER, I burped him and put him in his crib.


He had his one-month physical today and weighs 10 pounds, 10 ounces. He's gained a full inch in length. He peed on Lactation Consultant v.1.0 and nursed for 20 minutes right in the exam room just to make me sound insane when I tried to convince her that seriously, this child REFUSED TO EAT FOR DAYS AND DAMN NEAR SCARED ME TO DEATH.

Sidenote: I actually kind of like Lactation Consultant v.1.0 now, since I have mastered the secret Zen art of the "Smile and Nod" whenever she starts going on and on about something that a less Zen person might perceive as an attack on her mothering skills.

LC v.1.0: This baby doesn't have a set bedtime yet? He NEEDS a set bedtime! Now! Set a bedtime!

*smiles and nods, thinks about ponies*

Anyway, I want to thank the Internet at large for all the wonderfully reasoned and supportive comments on Tuesday's post. I have witnessed more brawls break out over posts about breastfeeding and seriously -- I was expecting some kind of throwdown or a couple whackjobs to tell me that Hitler's mother quit breastfeeding at four weeks too, so there you go.

I didn't delete a single comment. And I didn't get a single whackjob email. In fact, I got very very NICE emails. Emails that, if I were not a very awful person, I would probably respond to in a timely fashion.

But right now? I have to go breastfeed my baby. Again. For like, the 40th time today. Because he is making up for lost time and oh my God, I haven't closed my bra all day and why did I want this so much again? Something about antibodies? And bonding? Bah.



Raising children rule #136: anything unattainable becomes exponentially more desirable. Threaten to take boob away, well... there ya go. Suddenly your breasts resemble nothing so much as an infant's Utopia...

This rule is magnified for male children. By, like, ten.

I'm really happy that it's working out well for you, finally. Congratulations. Now make sure to mark yourself out some 'destress' time in the immediate future, so that your nerves can regenerate.


Doesn't it always work that way? You give up on something and then it starts to work. My sister had a baby two years ago and called me DAILY crying because her daughter wouldn't nurse and wasn't getting enough food. When she finally gave up, she was like a new person. Prior to that, she was hating motherhood.

Thanks for sharing. It will all work out in the end and Noah will be a terrific, witty child with a terrific, witty mom. Both of you are lucky.


Wow - so glad you have both reached an agreement! There is something so special that happens when Mum and Bub get in sync. And then you get a big kick up the arse as they change their schedule, just when you get comfy :P
You sound so happy, and that is such a wonderful thing,
Big Love,


Hi Amy,

I have just finished your entire blog.. from day one in archives to this last one. I've larfed out loud, I've giggled until my cheeks hurt, I've gotten misty and I've cried until my nose begged me to stop blowing as I forgot to buy the aloe type tissues.. which I hate buying as I forget they've got aloe and I end up trying to clean my spectacles and have a gooey mess to deal with.. and where the hell was I? Anyhoo.. thanks for sharing your life with us (me!) not only has it been entertaining and so much more, it's kept my mind off some bad things going on here.. which I've needed in the past few weeks. (thanks!) You rock! Noah is gorgeous! Congrats to you, Jason and your families!


Glad that things are working out. You decide what to do with your own damn body fluids!

Bedtime? Does this woman have a 1 month old?

You are a wonderful mom and Noah is lucky to have you.

Mary Jo

Are you still breastfeeding because yeah... where are you! jeesh it's like you have a newborn or something. ;)


I have stopped in from time to time, and enjoy reading your blog. I am also a new mom, he is almost 6 mos, and my 3rd son. I didn't nurse #1, as I was a very young mother with no support, but i did nurse #2 and it was cake.

So I , of course, thought nursing #3 would be just as easy. NOT the case. We went through the same things you discribed, and it was very hard. I agree with you that those pumps are the devil! It does hurt, even when you do it right.

I finally discovered that I was having an "over-abundant milk supply". (thank you, internet) I had a hard time believing that my barely size-A's were working over-time, but hey it was so.

So I followed the same advice that everything i read was telling me, and it worked. We have been nursing happily ever sense.

Just know that you are NOT alone, and you do what you need to for your little man, and you all will be just fine! You are a great mom!

Take care, girlie!

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