Noahlah.com Will One Day Not Stand For This Kind Of Crap Entry
November 28, 2005
GOD. Where in the sam blessed hill have I been?
Well, mostly I've been sitting around the house all slack-jawed and useless, because apparently I have just enough natural adrenaline to keep me functioning on very little sleep for exactly eight weeks.
The whole sleep thing, it has hit me so hard. Along with the return of all sorts of crap that went away during pregnancy -- crap that I didn't even notice had gone away because I was too busy whining about other things. Crap like migraines, zits, oily hair, cracked dry skin and menstrual cramps.
YES. YOU HEARD ME RIGHT ON THAT LAST ONE. THE BREASTFEEDING GODS, I CURSE THEE ONCE AGAIN.
And today? Well. We have BOO BOOS, people.
Tweety Bird says: Take THAT, polio.
Noah weighs 12 pounds and is 24.5 inches long. That is one long, lean little baby.
He's absolutely perfect, and (as we have all suspected lo these many weeks) absolutely brilliant. I mean, he TALKED to a QUILT hanging on the wall of the exam room. Not every baby out there is smart enough to talk to a quilt at two months old.
(Translation: Highly verbal! Points for mom's genes! Get this baby a blog!)
Anyway. I was hoping today would be the day I would find something BESIDES NOAH to write about -- maybe even an entry that could stand on its own WITHOUT BABY PICTURES -- but that is not to be.
Because again. BOO BOOS.
(He is so blogging this.)
You know, if they gave me tweety bird bandaids I'd probably be much more amenable to sharp pointy objects being thrust into me administering god knows what into my bloodlines. The joy of the doctor's office went out with the cool bandaids and lollipops.
Posted by: Angela | November 28, 2005 at 06:20 PM
but, we love the baby photos! don't stop!
Posted by: whoorl | November 28, 2005 at 06:26 PM
A long, lean, polio fightin' machine.
Posted by: JenfromBoston | November 28, 2005 at 06:28 PM
Crap! Did I remember to give you the fabulous (no, really!) advice about nursing while he gets shots? Something about whatever chemicals are released while they nurse makes the shots less painful. It helped Xavier (now almost 4) so much with all of his.
Posted by: cheryl b. | November 28, 2005 at 06:28 PM
The boo-boos hurt you more than they hurt him, I promise.
Posted by: Peyton | November 28, 2005 at 06:29 PM
Aww, poor Noah. Aww poor Mama!
I hope you both feel better soon =)
Posted by: Kate The Great | November 28, 2005 at 06:35 PM
My God, he's going to be the next Dennis Rodman. ACK. FEH. Sorry.....the next.....very tall good looking incredibly smart polio free bajillionare basketball player with a blog to satisfy his every intellectual need. Whew. Dug myself out of that one.
Posted by: kathy | November 28, 2005 at 06:37 PM
Umm, isn't it better that he has a boo boo rather than polio?
(I do realize I run the risk of never being trusted with your child again after that question, but I figured I'd ask)
And he is such a cute little long lean baby and obviously brilliant.
Posted by: Heather B. | November 28, 2005 at 06:39 PM
Ouchy. :(
Posted by: martha | November 28, 2005 at 06:44 PM
Oh, man, that last one makes me want to cry right along with him. But, then again, most everything makes me teary these days. Effing hormones.
He's really, really gorgeous.
Posted by: Jezer | November 28, 2005 at 06:53 PM
I sobbed longer and harder at my little man's first shots than he did. Babies can be tough little guys. I admire that. Sweet sweet baby by the way!
Posted by: MelV | November 28, 2005 at 06:53 PM
noah is so way cute ... did you cry when he got his shots?
good luck with sleeping ... our baby (5 months) was sleeping thru the night at 10 weeks ... hang in there ... it will happen!
we have the same crib btw ... great taste!
Posted by: erin | November 28, 2005 at 06:54 PM
noah is so way cute ... did you cry when he got his shots?
good luck with sleeping ... our baby (5 months) was sleeping thru the night at 10 weeks ... hang in there ... it will happen!
we have the same crib btw ... great taste!
Posted by: erin | November 28, 2005 at 06:54 PM
noah is so way cute ... did you cry when he got his shots?
good luck with sleeping ... our baby (5 months) was sleeping thru the night at 10 weeks ... hang in there ... it will happen!
we have the same crib btw ... great taste!
Posted by: erin | November 28, 2005 at 06:55 PM
every day i check your site until there is a new post up or until i give up, my hopes shattered, knowing there will be no post today. you're a great writer and i don't care what you write about BUT if you stop posting pictures of noah with almost every entry i will break down in irrational pms tears. seriously. you = great. noah = greater. but you totally know that.
Posted by: kate | November 28, 2005 at 06:56 PM
That is one cute baby! (I gotta get me one of those...)
Posted by: Theresa | November 28, 2005 at 06:59 PM
I've been saying to my Girlchild (who got me hooked on your blog) that Noah is a very bright, smart baby. His intelligence shines from his little sweet face.
Posted by: Catherine | November 28, 2005 at 07:41 PM
my three year old just say, "oh, don't cry baby."
Posted by: Diane | November 28, 2005 at 07:58 PM
My little man was long and lean like that. I do think he looks like you... That is until I saw that recent pic of Jason holding him. OH MY GOSH. It is like Jason's mini-me.
So sweet and adoreable. :-)
Posted by: Lisa B | November 28, 2005 at 08:08 PM
Well, at least the shots should help Noah sleep a lot for the next day or so and maybe you can sleep some too.
The one thing I DO NOT miss about having a newborn in the house? TOTAL, BRUTAL LACK OF SLEEP.
Posted by: capello | November 28, 2005 at 08:15 PM
OH God, the cramps! What is up with THAT. I also had a big fat zit on my chin for my hubs Holiday party this past weekend... nice.
Noah is so long! I thought Owen was long but Noah's got him by an inch! CUTE!!
Posted by: de | November 28, 2005 at 08:34 PM
Too funny! God help us if our kids DO indeed get blogs. I must be the meanest mom ever, but the shots don't bother me. He NEEDS them, after all.
By the way, I did a posting of all the ridiculous assvice I have received thus far in the past few weeks since my own kid's arrival. It's a miracle the kid has survived. I guess that Master's degree in Accounting was all for naught, eh?
Posted by: Cagey | November 28, 2005 at 08:50 PM
Too funny! God help us if our kids DO indeed get blogs. I must be the meanest mom ever, but the shots don't bother me. He NEEDS them, after all.
By the way, I did a posting of all the ridiculous assvice I have received thus far in the past few weeks since my own kid's arrival. It's a miracle the kid has survived. I guess that Master's degree in Accounting was all for naught, eh?
Posted by: Cagey | November 28, 2005 at 08:51 PM
I totally cannot look when my girls get their shots. Especially when they're so little and they still get them in the legs. That's when Tylenol (or drug of choice) is so your friend. Or for me and the daddy, something a little stronger. Tequila, maybe?
Noah continues to amaze with his brilliance and adorableness.
Posted by: Nancy | November 28, 2005 at 09:14 PM
Baby's thigh tawt it taw a puddy tat. It deeed! It deeed!
Posted by: Real Girl | November 28, 2005 at 10:47 PM
Baby talk! I'd love to hear that. Did anyone by chance happen to give you audio recording devices at your shower? Recording devices to aid you in conquering the internet with unbearable cuteness?
And how dare your body betray you now, after all you've been through together? Damn inconsideration!
Posted by: Cailin | November 28, 2005 at 10:47 PM
yup... noah is one special kid. took me AT LEAST 3 months to hold full conversations with inanimate objects. and i graduated with honors... this kid is going to rock einstein's world! besides being totally handsome.
i love the baby pictures...
Posted by: Ali G | November 28, 2005 at 10:56 PM
awww...poor munchkin. he really will have good "my parents screwed me up" fodder with the amalah.com annals of noah history. ;)
but he will probably mostly have to say "god, mom could you stop showing my girlfriend the amalah.com pics of my little baby thighs?"
Posted by: Sarcomical | November 28, 2005 at 11:05 PM
I've gotta go with Noalah looking just like Amalah. Of course, he's perfect. What a little munchkin.
Posted by: jonniker | November 29, 2005 at 12:04 AM
I am wicked. I find toothless babies' crying attractive. In photos, of course, when it is not audible. I loved my babies' crying, in the family album.
Poor Noah...
He'll be just fine, if he can talk to a quilt. Lovely!
Posted by: Franci | November 29, 2005 at 03:53 AM
I am a nerd! I ran over to godaddy immediately - turns out www.noahlah.com is available. Run, don't walk! and get it Amalah!
Posted by: For Joke! | November 29, 2005 at 05:13 AM
With parents like the two of you, how could he be anything short of brilliant?
Posted by: Jessica | November 29, 2005 at 06:38 AM
When Meghan was 2 and Jenni was 5, they got their shots on the same day. After the doc, we went home, I sat on the couch with a child on each leg, leaning against me, facing away from each other, each with a thumb in her mouth, wimpering.
Their dad came home from work, walked into the living room and saw us.
"Is that all you've done all day?"
NOT a good thing to say.
Posted by: slyeyes | November 29, 2005 at 07:07 AM
PS, love the pic of him stretched out on the couch.
Posted by: slyeyes | November 29, 2005 at 07:09 AM
Oh the sadness is too much. Poor little Noah. But we want him healthy so I guess it's okay.
Menstrual cramps? NO FAIR.
Posted by: halloweenlover | November 29, 2005 at 09:00 AM
So your migraines went away with your pregnancy? That's one of my biggest fears. I get them pretty fierce right now, and I worry about all the hormones, etc. making me one miserable momma to be. Oh, and the morning sickness. I fear throw-up. :)
Posted by: Lauren | November 29, 2005 at 09:24 AM
Awww, my heart is breaking for that Little Man. I hate the shots. We go again on Wednesday for more. They better give us cool little Tweety Bird band-aids!
Posted by: RockStar Mommy | November 29, 2005 at 10:25 AM
You know Busy Mom's youngest son (The Preschooler Formerly Known as Busy Baby)has a blog.
http://www.busymom.net/baby/
Maybe TPFKABB and Noah could connect and discuss the boo boos.
Posted by: cursingmama | November 29, 2005 at 11:42 AM
Dammit, that kid looks cute even when he's yelling his head off! Of course, the sound of screaming itself might be not so adorable.
Posted by: DavidS | November 29, 2005 at 11:56 AM
I think I cried more than my Son when he got his first shots! Give him some Tylenol. I was wondering if you were going to get some assvice about immunizations (beware, controversial subject - to some!)
In all honesty... the sleep deprevation was the hardest adjustment for me with my first child. I'd have sold out my best friend's deepest secrets for 8 hours of solid sleep! It was easier with the second child because I was already sleep dreprived from the first child! ;)
Posted by: Kelly | November 29, 2005 at 12:34 PM
He looks exactly like Jessica Simpson does when she hits the high notes... He's even doing the hand thing.
Posted by: Zoe | November 29, 2005 at 01:03 PM
I am about to take my daughter for her 15 month boo boos in 1/2 hr. And she will get a flu jab as well. Because, you know, it's not enough to torture the child with 5 shots in one day already. It's awful, like many other moms, I cannot look. So I will have the nanny hold her while she gets the jabs.
It sucks that you already got your period. I was so glad that mine did not return for 9 months after delivery.
Noah is precious, the swan neck is absolutely perfect.
Posted by: lolismum | November 29, 2005 at 01:27 PM
And I forgot to add.. Tylenol is your friend. Give him a dose right after the shots and he will be happy.
Posted by: lolismum | November 29, 2005 at 01:29 PM
this probably isn't going to come out right, but that last picture? where noah is crying? the first thing i thought when i saw it was, "he looks just like amy..." not the crying mouth, something about the eyes and nose. so, yeah um, please don't take that the wrong way, just take it as more points for mom's genes.
Posted by: erilyn | November 29, 2005 at 02:41 PM
Is it wrong of me to have the impulse to nosh on Noah's chubby little thigh?!?! So cute!
Posted by: Harper | November 29, 2005 at 02:52 PM
Awww, that's how to break a mama's heart...show me those legs with those bandaids...that used to KILL me...
By the way, wait'll you see the rest of what mother nature has in store for you...MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Posted by: wordnerd | November 29, 2005 at 03:15 PM
Blog ON, Noah! ;-)
Posted by: Erika | November 29, 2005 at 05:13 PM
Hi, a newbie here, great site. Also another good tip, when Tylenol no longer seems to be effective try baby Motrin!
Posted by: Natalie | November 29, 2005 at 08:30 PM
I feel like I must be a terrible person for giggling over that last picture. Then again, people thought I was a terrible mom for putting a big Dora party hat on my week-old baby for a photo op at a birthday party this past weekend, so there's no hope for me.
Posted by: sherry | November 29, 2005 at 10:25 PM
I wouldn't worry about only posting about Noah. He is so cute, I don't blame you one bit. He is even adorable in that last pic when he's crying.
Posted by: natalie | November 29, 2005 at 11:57 PM
P.S. - it's ok to post only about Noah as long as you still do Snarkywood. ;)
Posted by: natalie | November 29, 2005 at 11:58 PM
Something else for pain that every new parent should know about is TYLENOL IN SUPPOSITORY FORM. It delivers relief by a factor too high to calculate.
Wonder if they make it for mommies?
Posted by: Lori | November 30, 2005 at 06:22 AM
I want that baby. Stat!!
Posted by: Nonny | November 30, 2005 at 05:09 PM