Fashion Riot

Noah's Birth Story, Part Two

(Have you read Part One? Yeah. You probably want to read that one first.)

The next few minutes were a blur. I stared at Noah, he stared back. I saw that he had hair and looked just like the 4D ultrasound. I'm pretty sure I cried some more.

Everyone in the room was marveling over his size. My doctor talked about the nine pound, 10 ounce baby he'd delivered that morning (a scheduled caesarean) and how he figured that one would be the biggest of the day. Then he told the nurses that he didn't use staples -- he wanted stitches.

I realized that my abdomen was still wide open.

I started to shake, badly. My teeth chattered.

The pediatrician came over to talk to me and said that everything went fine with suctioning the meconium and the cord hadn't caused him any additional distress and Noah looked just fine.

"But we'll be testing his blood sugar in the recovery area," she went on. "Because babies just aren't supposed to be that big."

The hell? Thanks! That's fucking reassuring, I thought to myself.

Out loud, I chattered out a weak little, "Okay."

After what seemed like FOREVER, I was ready to head to the recovery room. I was shaking too badly to hold Noah so they nestled him between my legs. I stared at the top of his head for awhile and then closed my eyes and tried like hell to stop trembling.

And then, full circle-like, I was back in the very same room where I'd labored hours earlier. I heard a nurse tell the woman in the next bed that a delivery room would be ready for her in just a few minutes.

"Ha." I muttered.

I was rolled over on my side and Noah was placed next to my face. The shaking immediately stopped.

I started to tell Jason about this amazing miracle, this CLEAR SIGN OF MY DEEP MATERNAL INSTINCT AND BONDING, when the nurse informed me she'd just added a shot of Demerol to my epidural.

"Oh." I was vaguely disappointed and newly unnerved.

Jason started videotaping again, and while I've refused to watch any of the earlier footage, I've seen this part.

I'm very yellow and puffy. Noah is very red and puffy. I give him some hesitant kisses and then I stare at the camera, looking uneasy and bewildered.

"This is the best part," I slur. "It was all worth it."

I sound like I'm trying to convince myself of that.

I hadn't yet gotten a look at anything other than Noah's squished-up little face, so without thinking I pulled his blanket back so I could see his feet and count his toes. This earned me a rapid reprimand from the nurse, who stopped doing...whatever it was she was doing to the numb lower half of my body to reswaddle the baby.

I was informed that Noah passed the blood sugar test and was just fine.

Then it was time to breastfeed. The nurse pushed me further onto my side and very unceremoniously grabbed my boob and mashed Noah's face against it. The video shows me lifting my arms like I'm just trying to stay out of the damn way.

Noah didn't latch and I gazed critically at my very small boobs and my very big baby and wondered why in the world I thought breastfeeding would ever work for me.

And then, he latched and started sucking. And it hurt and was wonderful and was the weirdest fucking sight I had ever seen.

Jason zoomed the camcorder in on my boob, similarly amazed and possibly creeped out.

I asked him to get me some ice chips, as the oxygen mask I'd worn for hours left me thoroughly parched and miserable. He got them and I shoved a handful in my mouth -- just in time for the nurse to yell at me a second time.

"No!" she shrieked, grabbing the cup from me. "No ice! You'll get nauseous and throw up."

I quickly swallowed the chips I had in my mouth, afraid she'd make me spit them out or something.

She flipped me over so Noah could nurse from the other boob for awhile, and then...he was taken away and I was to be sent to my room without him.

Allpics097Jason went with him and got to watch him get his first bath.

I was wheeled to my room and informed that I was getting one of the biggest rooms.Allpics104

The room was tiny. And I had a roommate. And my roommate had the bed by the window.

For what felt like the hundredth time, I was asked if I could move myself from the gurney to the bed, and for the hundredth time I stubbornly said no.

And suddenly, I was all alone. The curtain was pulled around my bed and I stared at it. I listened to my roommate's horribly nasal voice cackling with her visitors. I tried to wiggle my toes and couldn't. I tried to sleep and couldn't.

So I cried instead. I felt very small and overwhelmed and I wanted Jason and I wanted the baby and I wanted my cell phone and I wanted a do-over without the c-section.

Allpics132The rest of Noah's birthday is a blur.

It seemed like hours before I got to see him again, and it seemed like forever before our parents arrived from Pennsylvania.

But then Noah was there and our parents were there and I got to see the one thing I was always afraid I'd never see: My father holding my baby.Allpics142

Meanwhile, I managed to convince my nurse that I didn't feel nauseous at all so could I please, please, PLEASE HAVE SOME GODDAMN ICE CHIPS FOR CHRIST'S SAKE ALREADY. She reluctantly agreed and brought me a cup. Which I then hid behind the telephone and sent Jason out for a replacement so I could have ice chips right then and a contraband cup of actual liquid water later.

I called my office and left a series of slightly drunk-sounding messages to my co-workers, and within 30 minutes a bouquet of flowers arrived in my room from my boss.

Allpics138I tried to text message Zoot and Diana but couldn't because of a weak signal and also the fact that I didn't really know how to send text messages on my new phone.

When dinnertime came around, I lied and said I'd been cleared for a liquid diet tray.

Jason stayed long past visiting hours, but eventually had to leave.

It was just me and Noah.

And my roommate. My horrible, terrible roommate.

She'd just had her third baby by scheduled caesarean the day before. The baby didn't have a name yet, and she instructed the nurses to keep him in the nursery at all times, except when it was time to nurse, so she clearly thought I was crazy for keeping Noah with me all the time.

She was also deeply, deeply distrustful of everyone around her and would do this thing where she asked the same question of anyone she could get to listen -- almost hopeful that she'd get a different answer from one of them.

When I first arrived in the room, she was obsessed with pain medication. As in, she wouldn't take any, because of breastfeeding. Our nurse assured her that the doses of Percoset and Ibuprofen were extremely safe for both her and the baby. Our night nurse assured her of the same thing. She paged the staff pediatrician to ask her too, and spoke to about four people on the phone about it. Still, she continued to turn down medication.

Needless to say, once her epidural fully wore off, she was in terrible pain. I didn't notice because Noah screamed. The. Entire. Night.

(He'd scream all night, every night, as I'd learn. I didn't have enough milk for him, I was stubbornly refusing a pacifier or formula, and I couldn't walk him around because I was stuck in bed with an IV and catheter.)

The next morning, she related the story of her middle-of-the-night attack of terrible pain to our new nurse, the nurse who took our blood pressure and who I don't think spoke English, her obstetrician and pediatrician, and no lie, the guy who brought the breakfast trays.

They all kind of had the same reaction: Well, duh.

Allpics178I was taken off the catheter and IV the next morning and allowed to sort of wash up. And by sort of, I mean I was handed a squeeze bottle of liquid and told to wash up.

I stared at the bottle.

"And with this, I..." I looked at the nurse blankly.

"You...wash with it." the nurse said knowingly, making vague hand-waving motions at waist level.

Finally something clicked and I got it. I think. I mean, I don't think I could give a course on Squeeze Bottle Bathing and You, or anything, but I did okay.

Allpics174I was allowed to take a shower that afternoon, which caused a minor meltdown when I discovered that Jason has accidentally taken my bag of toiletries home with him the night before, so I had no shampoo and had to use the combination SHAMPOO and BODY WASH abomination offered by the hospital.


Allpics177(I was also given a new robe, which looked exactly like the old robe, with a strange design that I could not make any sense of even after staring at it for hours and hours, and if anyone can figure out what it's supposed to be I will be forever in your debt.)

At lunchtime, I lied again and upgraded my menu to solid food, and my GOD, beef tips in brown sauce have never tasted so incredibly delicious.

My roommate's latest obsession was with her breast engorgement, because they still hurt after the baby ate so clearly, there was something very, very wrong and her baby was starving and the hospital was trying to kill her because they told her she didn't need a pump, just to give her supply a day or two to regulate itself.

We also got to meet her family, including two of the worst-behaved little boys I have ever seen and a husband who brought them over to MY SIDE OF THE ROOM TO SPANK THEM, while wearing a "World's Greatest Dad" t-shirt.

Allpics146Our families left Saturday afternoon (after my mother-in-law spent a few hours cleaning my house). Jason fretted over my decision to not have any family stay with us for the first two weeks, and while Noah's nightly screaming fits had me concerned, I stuck to my guns.

Sometime on Saturday, the diarrhea started.

Not mine, of course, but my roommate's.


She called people to talk about it. She buzzed the nurse after every run to the bathroom. She refused to flush so the nurse could inspect it. (Which, HELLO, I WOULD LIKE TO PEE TOO, FLUSH THE GODDAMN TOILET.) She spoke to doctors, other nurses, and my mother-in-law.

She said it was "terrifying," because she was convinced that the "stress" of all the "walking" and "sitting" on the toilet and "shitting" was going to cause her internal stitches to rip.

Just take a minute to ponder this logic.

Everyone told her that the stitches? Were not going to rip. That no woman in the history of c-sections ever had her internal stitches rip because of a BAD CASE OF THE RUNS.

Allpics162My nurse came to check on me at some point in the night and, with dose of stool softener and a smirk, asked me if I had any diarrhea. And then laughed because of the two of us, I was supposed to be the paranoid first-time mother. I smiled sweetly because ta-da! I was doing so well! Am world's greatest mother and c-sectioner!

I later called this nurse back in around 4 am and begged her to take Noah to the nursery or SOMETHING, because I couldn't get him to stop crying and couldn't take it anymore, and I felt like a big fat fucking failure. They wouldn't take crying babies to the nursery, but she agreed to take him anyway and give him a bath just so I could at least get an hour or so of sleep.

(The screaming was from hunger, because the poor baby was starving, and a bottle of formula probably would have saved us all from a lot of grief, but MAN, I was stubborn.)


Noah was circumcised on Sunday morning, and I called Jason (who was driving in, and who had just discovered that someone had sideswiped our car in the hospital's parking lot the night before) in tears, because I was sure I could hear Noah crying down the hall and he was going to hate me and damn Jason with his Jewish heritage and damn me for not thinking this was a big deal when CLEARLY, my son was being traumatized.

When he came back, he was sound asleep, as he had apparently slept through the entire thing, and the baby I heard was actually just the baby next door, because again, my miraculous maternal instinct was way, way off.

And despite the non-stop Diarrhea Watch from the next bed, my roommate was being discharged, and she was shocked that they were discharging her in spite of this life-threatening condition.

After she left, the nurses put a hold on my room to ensure that I would have the room to myself that night. They may have also applauded.

NoahhospitalportraitNoah had his hospital portrait taken for his birth announcements and miraculously, was not screaming.

While the hour-to-hour and minute-to-minute excitement had certainly slowed down by this point, Jason and I still had regular moments of, "Oh my God, we have a baby!"

Our favorite topic was mostly what an incredibly good-looking baby Noah was. Sure, he had that rashy, splotchy baby skin (which my mother worried was hives, which freaked me out, which was why I stuck to my guns about the no-family-for-two-weeks rule), but he looked so much better than all the wrinkly, pruny old man babies we saw elsewhere on the ward. Probably because he looked about two weeks older than any of those babies. His head was almost perfectly round, save for two small ridges where he'd been pressed against bone during the brief time I tried pushing. His eyes were big and bright, his cheeks were delicious and dimpled, and he sucked his bottom lip in and created an adorable pout.Allpics169

Jason shooed nurses away when Noah needed a diaper change and handled him like an old pro -- nothing like the man who refused to hold our neighbor's newborns because he was afraid of dropping them. He brought Krispy Kreme donuts and coffee for the nurses' station every day.Allpics179

On Monday morning, Noah was with the pediatrician when Jason arrived. He'd made the unfortunate choice to check his work email that morning, only to learn that all sorts of problems had erupted over the weekend. He was visibly disappointed at Noah's absence, because "he just makes everything better."

(And I may have melted a little. Okay, a lot.)

Allpics175It was time for me to go home. The hospital lactation consultant said I was doing just fine, despite the obvious fact that my milk wasn't in, Noah had already lost 15 ounces and my nipples were bloody.

I raided the room, stealing maxi-pads and disposable mesh panties and diapers and wipes and even a pacifier that mysteriously appeared in Noah's bassinet after he returned from his hearing test.

Allpics195Allpics216Every nurse and doctor we saw that last day had advice and pointers for us, and they all contradicted each other. Use gauze and Vaseline on the circumcision. No gauze on the circumcision, just Vaseline on the penis. No, just put Vaseline on the diaper. No baths for mom. Yes, baths for mom. Sponge baths for baby. Tub baths for baby. No wipes. Use wipes.

I was really, really happy to go home.

I knew it would only get better.

I was right.




That was so beautiful!

Noah gets more and more precious every day.


I'm going to de-lurk and say what a cutie pie Noah is. I love the baby story. You'll treasure it later in life b/c we forget too quickly. I have twin boys that just turned 1 and I seem to have already forgotten the hospital/birth/c-section experience. Reading yours brings back lots of memories. They grow up QUICKLY! Smother with lots of hugs and kisses...there's just not enought at this age!


That kid is just GORGEOUS!


I know you know this because of course this one is clear, but that little baby of yours? Man, he just gets cuter in the pictures you post. The pic of him grinning at the bottom would make whole armies want to go to any lengths to fulfill his basic desires in any toy store of his choice.

Nice entry, but I just have to wonder out loud...what does one do with disposable mesh panties? Just wondering. You know. In case I am missing out on the new fad of the millenium, much like I completely missed out on Raves, parachute pants, and Farrah Fawcett hair. I am prepared to be more proactive on the cool fads.


aww! Look at that little face.

Sarah L

I can't believe I'm number 5! I usually get here around 75 or more!
I loved your commentary on your roomate--she sounds priceless, or something.
Congratulations again on your beautiful baby.


wow, your roommate really needed to be put out for a while or something. sheesh. how exciting for you. ;)

but the rest of the noah story? SO sweet. what did people do before they had blogs on which to record their birth stories and have perfect strangers ooh and aaah over the events? ;)


That was the most awesome story. Thank you for sharing everything -- your thoughts, feelings and emotions -- with us. Noah is so beautiful and you both deserve to be very proud of him.

As for that odd pattern on your hospital robe, quite obviously it is the top part of an ear of corn. Personally I have seen many boxey, pink ears of corn in my life and knew immediatiely what it was.


Geez your cutie-pie looks more and more like his Pappa every day.

That roommate needed a foot up the arse, & that would have stopped her little problem and whining....


just lovely! and whatever what ever you used I'm sure it was fine. and the roomate...well uh, she was a learning experiment... for something :-)


Yay for Part 2!

I can't believe you had to have a roommate. I guess that's why they have to have visiting hours. The hospital I was at allowed people 24 hours a day. Also, I was eating a cookie 10 minutes after giving birth. I guess they do things differently on the East Coast. :)


Beatiful child, it's amazing how he's grown in just 7 weeks! Wondered if you had bought the blue blanket, or if it was made for you? I'm looking for something very simiar (I hate all the current baby blankets on the market that are made out of fleece, etc.) If you bought it somewhere, I'd love to know where.


I agree--it's pink ears of corn.

And is it just me, or does Noah look like he's doing a groovin' little dance in the bottom picture? Too cute for words.


I was going to say corn also, but it may be a water fountain... or a "thumbs up, you did great!" Yes, i think its a thumbs up. You have a beautiful baby boy.


It almost made me cry when you talked about how Jason was with the diaper changing. My husband was like that with our babies (all 4) and I have a soft spot for hands on Dad's. All to often I hear of Dad's who never change diapers or get up in the middle of the night, glad to see there are new Daddy's out there like Noah's!

Keep up the good work Amy and Jason, Noah is blessed to have you for a Mom and Dad!


These birth stories make me want one of my very own.
Even if it comes with the diahorrea lady in the next bed and the see through disposable mesh panties, which I would swipe too, even though they seem to have no purpose beyond when the nurses force you to wear them. Maybe you can wear them on your head when preparing meals, like at mcdonalds.

the bottom picture makes me squeal a little. cuteness.


I'm so sorry your hospital experience was such a disappointment. I was lucky that I had a private room, nice nurses, etc and so forth. I was actually SAD to leave the hospital! LOL! But it did all work out just beautifully in the end, Noah is just PRECIOUS. :)

Amanda Cowan

He is so precious! I had a 10-pounder too. She shocked the hell out of everyone who swore "You'll have a tiny girl".. what the heck did they expect? My hubby is 6'3" and I'm 5'11". I'm surprised to hear that they took Noah away for all the goofy hearing tests and Ped. check-ups. It's funny how a different state and different hospitals can do things so differently. And whats up with the hellish-contradictions? We had several different stories on how to care for the umbilical stub.

So, the million-dollar question? Would you do it all over again? For me, it took approximately 4 months before I forgot the hell that was the first 6 weeks, plus the previous 4 when I could NOT wait to NOT be pregnant anymore.

Anyway, LONG comment I know, but I wanted to say "good job" to a fellow new mom! Check out my amazon girl at!


No no, people, it's not corn. It's a sailboat. Duh.

And also, I thought the disposable hospital panties were quite comfortable. I was sad when I used all of mine.


That boy is a character! And handsome!

Sorry it stunk in the hospital, so glad that's over!


After reading the comment about whether or not the blue blanket was made for Noah or purchased, I decided to take another look. Now I am completely in love with it as I realized that there are "X"'s and "O"'s stitched into it. (I'm sure you are already aware of that!) That makes the blanket almost as precious as Noah.


Very generous of you to share such an important event in your life. Love the pics.. but the one that really got to me was the sweet picture of Noah and your Daddy.


Jason's the greatest for bringing Krispy Kremes... yummm. What a great guy you have ! Oohhhh, and the cutest baby! Yes, delurking for the 2nd time... Great tales of Krispy Kremes will do that to a gal ! Happy Friday !

For Joke!

Amy, once again thanks for sharing so much of yourself. It all seems very scary to me, and unnerving, but then when you see that last picture... how is that not the best possible outcome ever?

Oh and its not corn. It's a seahorse for sure.

the kim half of glamorouse

Bah. Letdown AGAIN, and now just from reading someone elses birth story...


I am not even through with the story, but I would like to reflect on the pattern of the new robe:
to me, it looks like a handkerchief peeking out of a pocket.


With my first kid, I was put in a room with 3 other fresh moms, one of them appeared to have the largest family in the country, with so many kids and relatives and so many cellphones, which, 9 years ago, were not as usual as nowadays.
Altough the lady itself was a really kind one, I was really happy when she finally left.
Curtains between beds? Bwah-bwah - our beds were like 20centimetres apart.


Oh how I love roommates in hospitals. I just had quite the experience myself with 3 little old ladies. I wasn't in the hospital having a baby, obviously. haha

I love Noah. He is beautiful. Doesn't it feel good to have other people confirm what you already know?

I think the design on the gown is someone's face, with the face part blurred out like on those police shows, but the wacky side-swiped hairstyle is still clear.

Or it could be a strawberry.

Thank you for the Part Two! It wasn't boring in the least!


He is the cutest!

Zoots Mom

OMG he's so darn cute...You know, my mother decided that NO ONE in our family (7 children) could come and visit me for 1 week after I had Zoot. She stayed away too. Her MIL drove her nuts when she had babies so she made sure none of her children had to put up with that...It was wonderful.............That's a very very good rule...


Noah's beauty never ceases to amaze me. Congratulations again, both on the babalah and on finishing Birth Story Part II :)


Thank you from the bottom of my 7-weeks-to-go uterus.

Noah rocks.

Amy also

What a story, Amy. Am now freaking out about delivering #3 within the next month.


Good lord, that boy is cute. And, just so you know, being a new mom is HARD. You did awesomely, despite the inappropriateness of half the hospital staff. Congratulations, all over again.


It's obviously a duck barfing.

Which is just what I did after my c-section.

I'm sooo glad I didn't have a roomate after mine.

That Noah is one cute kid.


the bethiclaus blanket...huzzah!! :)

that was awesome :) i loved it. duh.


Sounds like an, um, interesting hospital stay. Thanks for sharing! And every picture of Noah just keeps getting more adorable!


Amy! That was so totally worth the wait. And? Made me cry like a fucking baby sitting here in my cube land at 8:36 in the morning. Thanks.

He's so gorgeous. What a wonderful little family you have!


WOW...glad I didn't have a room mate. The hospital I delivered c-section also, only has private rooms. The fathers are allowed to stay as well which was really nice. I had no problems with my c-section until I left, then I had all sorts of problems. It never got infected, but almost 6 weeks later, part of my incision STILL hasn't closed completely! I'm getting tired of going to see the surgeon EVERY WEEK! Hey, my out of pocket is met for the year, I'll do whatever they want me to :) My c-section went so well, I wouldn't mind doing it again...if I HAD to...vaginal would be the preference though....and the shakes...yeah, mine started before I even got to the OR...I was telling myself, I have to stop shaking or they are going to cut something they shouldn't. It's like the harder you try to stop shaking, the more you shake!!! Congratulations again!!! He's beautiful!

Heather O'Douls

I'm getting baby fever, that baby just looks utterly delicious.

and is the pattern, possibly, the logo of the hospital?


And the Baby Fever, it flares up once again.

My favorite picture is the one of Noah having his first bath. He's all, "Yeah, I'm gettin' felt up by some woman I don't even know, what of it?"


Great story! Cute baby!

And the designs on the hospital gown? They kind of look like a hat my Grandma wore that I saw in a picture of her taken in the 1940's. How old was that gown?


To me, the logo on the robe looks like a leg that is kicking, rockettes style, compete with action lines behind it. Or, perhaps, some odd form of flower not commonly found in nature.

Noah looks exactly like you in that last picture. Also, the blanket is beautiful.


That was beautiful. Thanks for sharing.


He's too cute. i want one! and thats bad cause it would be a miracle and the poor kid would have no one but me...but i think i could do ok. now i just need to find some sucka?!

Big Gay Sam I'm in a cheek pinching mood with no cheeks to pinch.

That baby is adorable.


Wow this is making me flashback to my baby's birth just 15 weeks ago. My little guy had to go to the NICU right after he was born because of a fever so I too was left alone in my room at one point because my husband had taken my parents to see him. I just sat and cried because for the first time in 9 months, I was totally alone and I was supposed to have my baby with me and I wanted a do-over too. Without the part where they rush the baby away from me a minute after he was born. Luckily I did not have a roommate and my husband was able to stay with me although the room was smaller than my walk-in closet. I remember how hard those first few days were and it does get so much better. Especially now that he sleeps through the night. It's so much fun to read your journey and realize how much we all have in common when it comes to this.


OMG. Am in tears, Amy! I can't beleive how tiny he was.

Can you believe how fast they grow? My God, dude. Owen is two months old today!


Sorry for the double post but I wanted to answer the earlier question. The disposable mesh panties are to keep the ginormous pads in place and so you don't ruin any underwear. More than you ever wanted to know probably but you asked.


Lovely story although you did make me cry with the seeing your Dad hold Noah thing. My Daddy is gone so I know that's going to be so hard when that day comes so cherish those moments! And by the way Noah just gets cuter and cuter!!

Stacy O

Beautiful story. Beautifully written. I want to have a baby now too!!
Thanks for sharing and being so honest.


First, wonderful story. I enjoyed all of it with the exception of your roommate.

OMG, how did you not keep from leaping out of your bed and stuffing booties in her mouth to get her to shut up about her runs!

Noah is so very handsome. :)


Great conclusion to the birth story. I think the pattern looks like a windsheild wiper, or a raincloud both of which are odd choices for a maternity gown.

Heather B.

Damn you're nice, because I would've had to take myself and my cathater over to Little Miss complains a lot and kicked her in the head.
Good story though.


awww. :) yay, Noah.
Is it just me or does he look like he's trying to do the cabbage patch in the last picture, and he's very happy about it? *lol* :) cuteness!!


He's a doll, I tell ya, a livin' doll.

And you're a saint for putting up with that crap from the roommate-from-hell for the first 48 hours of Noah's life!!

wayward goddess

I had a roomate for the first time when I had my third (and last) baby. Man, she was a pain in the ass. I had just pushed an 8 1/2 pound baby through my cooter and she wanted to go on and on about all 'those women hollerin' up in the labor room like it hurts or something'. I wanted to tell her to STFU already, she had a 4 pound baby by c-section. I would lose a 4 pound baby. I made my husband turn the (one) tv in the room to my side and pull the curtain around so only I could see it cause I'm a bitch like that. I begged them to just let me go home already so I could sleep in peace.


the last sentence says it all. keep that in mind when things get nutty. you are a gem. Jason is a gem. Noah is a GEM!


For anyone who was wondering, the blue blanket was a much-appreciated gift from Bethiclaus, of

Perhaps she will make you one if you send her some pretty money.

Wacky Mommy

Oh man, I'd forgotten about the sexsssssaaaaay mesh panties. I swiped some of those myself. I loved the story, Amalah. Thank you.


God, what an AWFUL hospital stay! Good thing you had such an awesomely cute baby.
Now I'm going crazy trying to figure out the pattern on the robe.

Jen W

The design on the hospital gown looks like the top of a corn it's coming out of the husk. But hey, that's just me. It's probably just something random. You wrote a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.


The pattern on the robe are LILACS, people. Check out the pics here and you'll see the similarity:


De-lurking to say that for the first time ever, I have tears in my eyes WHILE AT WORK. Good thing I have an office door which is currently closed.

Also - the shampoo/body wash combo? Believe me, it could get worse. Went camping for the first time EVER this year (I'm 29 btw). Insisted to my bf that I could not go three days without washing my hair so he went to the camping store and came back with biodegradable shampoo. And yet not shampoo. Right on the label - good for washing hair, body, DISHES and OTHER CAMPING EQUIPMENT. The hell?

Anyway, congrats on your little one. He is too adorable for words.


Oh how wonderful to have pictures of his first bath! My first was before digital, and the camera jammed and we never got those pictures. The second had the lovely meconium suctioning and somehow my husband missed her bath. He truly is a beautiful boy!

And can I ask, why the hell doesn't your hospital have private rooms?? No wonder you were traumatized. It wasn't the birth itself, it was the hypochondriac roommate that seems to have forgotten that she went through childbirth twice before!


Dang that baby is cute. Am even more excited about having a little boy (just found out yesterday that it's a BOY!).

Thanks for sharing your beautiful story (and the great pictures).

Now will someone please explain why there is shampoo/body wash in this World??!!


Great story! Noah is such a sweetie!

My five-year-old daughter says the pattern on your hospital gown looks like shark fins.


So glad to finally get part 2 of the baby story.

My theory about the roommate from hell: she already has 2 kids, just had her third and from your account, her husband is next to useless. She acted out in the hospital because that's the ONLY place she'll get listened to & coddled like that. Still poor behavior on her part--and I'm sure she would have gotten much better treatment if she hadn't been such a pain in the ass--but I can sorta see where it's coming from.

You, on the other hand, sound like you handled things like a champ. Wish I'd been half so together after my son was born. I remember tearfully eating only half of my going-home-day steak lunch (which I very, very much wanted to finish 'cause hello, a new nursing mom is STARVING ALL THE TIME) while desperately trying to get Dylan to stop crying long enough for me to pack my stuff. I wanted to take my nurse home with me. But we survived. And you're right--it was much, much better to be home.

Oh, and Noah's pics are delicious. As usual. :-)

(god, I have a not-quite-7-month-old baby and I already yearn for another one--save me!!)


Thank you, Amalah, for cementing my long-held view once and for all that Hospitals are Evil and Not Worth the money we'd spend.

I shall now proceed to bear all my offspring at home.

Your baby is yummy. He's almost enough to make one forget to take one's birth control pills entirely by accident. ;-)


I think that design looks like stylized ears of corn opening... might just be because Im hungry. :-) Congratulations on such a beautiful baby!!!


I think it's a cloud, rain and a little rainbow. Loved the story! Especially the Daddy of the Year bringing coffee and doughnuts to the nurses. How sweet is that??!!


Ick. So glad I didn't have a roommate when I had my two. My son similarly screamed a lot while in the hospital and it was soon determined that hey, I am freaky no-producing-milk girl. So formula it was for my Kylemazoo.

The night after he was born, I was telling my husband no way would I EVER have another; the next morning, I was saying that I'd do it again.


the line about your dad holding noah brought tears to my eyes. i can only imagine what a great moment that was for you.


Aww he looks just like you in that last pic!


The picture of Noah in his carseat? The sweetest damn thing I've ever seen.


I'm so glad you posted the rest! What a sweet story. But I have to ask - where did you deliver? Next time, try Georgetown (where I delivered with Ella). I think the hospital staff there, and the facilities (NO roommates) are much better than where you were.


What a great post! Noah is so cute!

And you know what? Things will continue to get better and better! And just when you think they can't....they do! Motherhood is awesome!


What I want to know is, how the hell did my mother get to D.C. and have a baby? I mean, with all the talk of diarrhea and all ...

And how does Noah keep coming up with these poses!?? In this one, he looks like he's doing a little "butt dance" along with a conga line! "Feeling hot Hot HOTT!"


Probably the most realistic account of childbirth I've read. But bless your heart -- a roommate? That's just cruel!


I'd have killed off that roommate long before her runs started! Good God! Your shaking after the birth was part adreline, part meds. I did that after both c-sections too. It sucked.

Loved my water bottle. We actually left it at the hospital, and I cried and made my Mom go back to the hospital to get a new one! LOL


Noah almost certainly was given formula in the nursery, even if you asked them not to. I have heard from a number of nurses that they just do it. Our kid also didn't latch and lost 10% of body weight in the hospital (it has a happy ending) and they gave him formula. The whole "you don't have enough milk" thing is bunk, by the way.


Totally strawberries.

Thanks for posting part 2. Complete release on your part I'm sure, but I'm just content to know "the rest of the story" and ogle at your cute child.


That last picture melted me. Thanks for the story.


Thank the baby jesus -- part 2!!! My bedresting ass is much happier now.

You poor thing. A few comments...
1. I shook very hard while the epidural from my surgery was wearing off. I think it's an epidural thing.

2. I had a private room for my two stays. I would have poked my eye out with a baby nail clipper if I would have had to share. Your story makes me feel even more strongly about it.

3. Noah looks like he's three months old in his bath picture. He is so cute.


congrats on the beautiful baby, but also on your uncanny ability to reduce women you don't even know to tears.
he is just so damn adorable.


I just found your blog today. I love other people's birth stories in general, and yours was great! Congratulations--your son is gorgeous!


My favorite is the picture of your Dad holding Noah. Could someone please pick my heart up off the floor?


I've never posted, but been reading for quite some time. Your baby is beautiful. Looking at the picture of the mystery design on your gown gave me horrible flashbacks. That design was my focus point during 18 hours of back labor. With each breath I would go from dot to dot and if I had to go through the dots twice it meant it was a really bad contraction. By the way, I always thought it looked like a pipe and the dots were smoke. Congrats on your beautiful baby.


Thanks for finishing your birth story. I never get tired of reading birth stories.

They don't warn you about the baby shakes beforehand, do they? I had the shakes after both of my babies were born. At least with the second, I was mentally prepared for them. Recently, my dh needed an epidural for surgery. I asked them if he was going to get the shakes. They said no, you only get the shakes when you have a baby. That's why they are called the baby shakes.

Thanks for the super cute pictures!


The robe design is either a peacock or a crack pipe.


"The whole "you don't have enough milk" thing is bunk, by the way."

Umm, no. I've written a novel's worth on this in the archives, but I had a very low milk supply for the first two week's of Noah's life, when he lost way more than 10% of his body weight.

Sorry to get defensive, but man, pet peeve there. La Leche League strikes again with the "you are imagining your breastfeeding problems."


I can't believe they just handed you the squirty bottle and told you to wash with it. Your hospital staff sounds amazingly sucky. I think the nurses at my hospital would have peed for me if possible. They were almost TOO hands on and demonstrated HOW to wash with it by actually washing you the first two times you used the bathroom. Nice, but a bit uncomfortable.

And the pattern on the gown- definitly some type of stylish boot with a way cool retro heel resembling raindrops....of course.


Your roommate drove ME crazy and I wasn't even there. UGH. All's well that ends well, though, right? He is so beautiful. :)


Re: "the whole 'you don't have enough milk' thing" Sorry, I should have clarified. They can't really tell if you have production issues by day 2-4 because your milk probably just has not come in yet. I was told on day 3 that I had production issues by 4 post-partum nurses and I freaked. But the hospital lactation consultant and three other LCs said there was no way to tell yet. Once my milk came in I was pumping 10oz a sitting in my morning session. I know you had issues in the first few weeks. My comment was more related to them supplementing with formula, and to say that I think you were right to hold your ground in the face of their claims. Congrats on the little charmer!


I like these posts, because when I'm all good and ready (you know, with a husband and everything) and go into labor, I'll semi-know what to expect.

So thank you, Miss Amy.

My apologies about the batshit crazy roommate. People are strange like that.


oh my god, you had the roommate from hell (you already knew this but I had to reaffirm). Hideous sounding beast of a woman (and her family too). I have no clue on the hospital gown pattern but that would have bugged me too...

thanks for sharing part 2 of the birth story....can you believe how far you've come since then?

take care


Wow, I do not think I could possibly do with a roommate. My mom and my husband stayed with me at the hospital when I gave birth. I had assumed most maternity wards only have private rooms, now I know. You poor poor thing.

Real Girl

Hey look at that fella with his happy smile and that gorgeous blanket (with ribbon!!). It's great to look at these pics, and thanks for them.

After my mother's emergency-we-both-almost-died c-section (undergone while she had pneumonia), her reaction to seeing me for the first time was: "Yeah, that's great, whatever." She then waved me away to the nursery.

I think she loves me now, though.


I loved reading this entry even if I cried through every moving moment and by looking at every sweet picture.

On the other hand, I laughed at the description of your weirdo roomate.


I also think those are lilacs. I also think that they're messed up, but they really do look like lilacs (my mom loves them and has them around her house).

I really appreciate your writing about this. I have heard so many stories that are scary and horrifying. I've had kidney stones, but I'm really worried about getting pregnant. For some reason, the whole thing sounds so UN-natural. Also, my sister-in-law is your size and has had horrible problems. I'm much taller and "matronly", I guess.

Your going through this and being so brave (you are a tiny person) makes me feel that maybe someday I could do the same thing. Having someone like Noah in the Boy's and my lives sounds more than worth it. I hope you, Jason, Noah and the other small ones in your house have a very nice weekend.

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