Fashion Riot Will One Day Not Stand For This Kind Of Crap Entry

Or As Some Readers Will See It: Blah Blah Blah Baby Photo Blah Blah

In lieu of the Advice Smackdown, I present the Greatest Parenting Lesson Ever Learned:

Driving to Pennsylvania in the pouring rain with a husband, a seven-week-old baby, a slightly broken rat dog and a huge-ass cat may make you momentarily ponder abandoning one or more of them at the next rest stop, and this doesn't make you a bad person, it just means you're human, at least that's what I'm telling myself.


(The caps lock, she is stubborn on this computer, this computer with DIAL. UP. DIIIIAAALLL UPPPP. I almost wish there was a super-caps-lock button I could hit to make that point even larger and cappier.)

On the bright side, though, we're with family members determined to document Noah's every blessed breath, so I have a lot of pictures. No, A LOT.


(Four different relatives go skittering off in four different directions to grab four different cameras.)


Did you realize Jason and I were really teenage parents? We're actually two 17-year-olds in a bad way, drifting from one tacky guest room bedspread to another.


In which I ruin another priceless photo with my need to not have the child covered in spit-up.


In which I ruin yet another photo with my exhausted, eye-baggy presence.


If you take four hundred million family portraits, your son is bound to smack you in the face in at least a dozen of them.


In which I've learned my lesson about the face-smacking, but it is all for naught, for the baby, he has had quite enough.


Ceiba's all, "Hey, last Thanksgiving, I was the star. Am still a star! Am the biggest star of them all! Am ready for my close-up! HA HA HA!"


Max thinks y'all are stupid, and he is leaving.


Noah thinks y'all are weird, and he is pooping.


The family resemblence is shocking, no?



Am I seriously first!? WOW great post w/ as always great pictures!! Happy Thanksgiving!!


Happy Thanksgiving!


LOVE the last photo! That's a great one for the memory book. Have a Happy Thanksgiving despite the tacky bedspreads. Take care!


First comment!

Have a lovely Turkey Day!



Wheee, great pictures! Good luck driving home, too.


oh, you all are just too cute... happy thanksgiving!

p.s. what IS with the attractions of capslock? i find myself having to constantly edit because THIS PHRASE, it is better and funnier that previous capslocked PHRASE, and therefore i wish to further emphasize it... but only can do that by de-capslocking the previous PHRASE, and now it looks all ordinary... anyway, one day i'll write the whole damn post in capslock AND BE DONE WITH IT. if you do find a super-capslock, i want to hear all about it! it is obviously what my life has been missing!


The fourth photo? Noah's all, "This one's just us boys. Go away, mom." WHACK!

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving. You WILL get through this!


Happy Thanksgiving! Hope he didn't smack you too hard in the face during that picture.


Great pics. Sympathize with the dial up issues--I live out in the sticks where, unless I want to pay unreal prices for satellite DSL (which I don't), I'm stuck with dial-up. Gah.

Thank God for blazing-fast internet access at work, and nobody breathing down my neck while I am so not using my fast internet powers for the good of the company.

Happy Turkey Day!

Stacy O

Happy Thanksgiving. Love the pictures. You look great!!!


But there is wine, no? Wine will make it all better. Plus, will make for very funny pictures.
Love the last photo!


OMG. Your last post about those stoopid loose capri-ish pants! Was getting a manicure last night at Montgomery Mall and saw a woman, middle age in a whole velvet getup, brown and purple - with fucked up pants, you know baggy, just below the knee, and BOOTS! I mean, WTF?! Glad you took a stand on that one.


at least you spent the day productively. i've spent my morning photographing the water pouring out of my sink onto the bathroom floor.


Happy Turkey Day Amalah!! You guys make up the most adorable little family ever!

On the fourth pic, Noah's smacking you in the face because he, too, hates the CAPSLOCK....


Am very glad I am not the only one who takes the cat to the family's house for the holidays.

Bozoette Mary

I do hope the grampa was not pooping.


Awww, yay for the pictures!! My husband thinks your son is one of the cutest babies EVER (and he doesn't make statements like that often). I'm glad you guys survived the trip, and are enjoying the many pictures taken (at least we get to enjoy them!!! yay!) Happy Thanksgiving!!!

The Muse

Yes, I agree with the cutest baby EVER statement! I keep dragging people in my office over to see the cuteness of Noah. And then I get asked things like "is that your nephew?" or "is that your son?" Heh, I wish that I was married to the adorable Jason and had the most precious baby ever like Noah.

Happy Thanksgiving, adorable family!


Very very funny! Even with the dial-up. Loading those pictures must've taken all night.


SO dedicated, you are, you are, Amalah! Seriously, it must have taken forever to upload.

Noah is too cute, dude.
Have a great Thanksgiving!


Have a great Thanksgiving from another denizen of Planet Pennsylvania.


I think you look fabulous - no bags in sight.

And the great thing about skittering camera-wielding relatives is that you usually will end up with at least one good photo from all the photo-taking that goes on.

Happy Thanksgiving!


oh no. people here are starting to do that thing they did obsessively with dooce's old comment forum: "Am I first? Oh wow, I'm first!!!1! whee!"

i don't get that?


Happy Thanksgiving Storch Family. I'll be driving to PA this afternoon as well. Let's hope we both miss the snow.


Hahahahahaha LOVE that last photo. Happy Thanksgiving, hon!


Dial up? Yuck. But hooray for family that loves your baby almost as much as you and Jason do!!

Hope your Thanksgiving is fabulous (the weather looks decent, which is a plus).


Am I seriously the only one who cannot get past the fact that that baby looks EXACTLY LIKE YOU?

Geez. Mini-Me.


Eesh, and I thought my drive across the country with two angry, yowling cats (whose names quickly became "Gator Bait") was terror enough. Sounds like you've trumped me!

Noah is scrumptious and adorable, and I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.


I was thinking the same thing about the photo upload time- what dedication! That last picture had me laughing out loud.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Again, so much familial cuteness!

Happy Thanksgiving!


And here I had already heard that babies are practically duplicates of their fathers during the first two years, but CLEARLY it is that they look like . .uh whoever that last one is.


that last picture is priceless.


Aw, girl, you are not baggy-eyed you look beautiful and happy and damn your hairs getting long. Have a wonderful holiday!! Noah is the spiitting image of Jason.

Number Twelve

Too many pictures? Never...


Ceiba definitely wants to be the star. But Noah takes the cake... um, turkey... for being just so cute!

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!


Happy Thanksgiving, new family! So you decided to make the drive, eh? I'm pondering a 4 hour drive to Long Island in two weeks with a (then) 6 week old... And we'd have to spend the night with two cats (I'm allergic). If only there were advice to be had. Until then, I'll just read up on your holiday adventures and hope to learn something. :)

the village idiot

I'm kinda glad you said that about the resemblance in the last picture so that I don't have to feel bad for thinking it. I'm sure that my feelings were of utmost concern when you typed it. Next time, when you're typing with regard to my feelings, please use that super caps lock key so that I'll know which section I should pay close attention to.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving,
the Idiot


why NOW is rat dog slightly broken? still the leg dealie? poor thing.

good luck dealing with the Paparazzi.

jason looks like a mannequin in those 2 pictures. a snazzy mannequin, but still :P

(ooh...see what i did there? "papa"razzi, and "man"nequin? awwww yeah. nevermind....)

enjoy the turkeyness!!


That last photo has to win a photo contest somewhere, sometime. It's the best. Please find something to submit it to (a "mini-me" contest, or something!) and let us know when it wins. Happy T Day!


Methinks by the end, the pressure of being a star was getting to Noah.

Also - wow, you're really getting closer to the Dooce level of stardom with this whole, "OMFG am I FIRST? FIIIIRST BITCHES!" I still totally think you should get those, "I read Amalah when she was UNDERGROUND, bitches!" made. I still think you're brilliant though, especially with that adorable edible baby of yours.


As we slog slowly through Buck County on our way to NJ from Philly...I shall wave. First to Noah, then to Amalah and Jason.


As we slog slowly through Bucks County, stuck on the PA Turnpike as we head into NJ from Philly...I shall wave. First to Noah, then to Amalah and Jason.

Lisa Ann

The tacky bedspread snark? You totally read my mind.

Enjoy the holiday [don't spend all your time uploading]


happy thanksgiving to you and yours.

I thought maybe noah was smacking you for posting pictures of him (cute as they are) laying on an afghan that clashes with the rug beneath. Serious fashion faux pas, no?

Real Girl

Things one thinks, perhaps, while reading

1. If my mother sees this, I will cry, because the When Am I Getting A Grandkid thing? It's already on thick.

2. When babies are held, they like to orate. Like Cicero.

3. Is that a grandma-crocheted afghan? And does everyone have a grandma-crocheted afghan?

4. BACK YARD! Hey, look! Non city folks get things like grass. And flower pots. So many colors.

5. Baby tongue! How cute is that? How cute?

Lisa B

Wow. YOu can tell little boy and Grandpa are related! :-) Great pics. You and Jason DO look really young. Don't worry, not sleeping for a few months will take care of that. heehee.


Happy Turkey Day! Gorge yourself on yummy Thanksgiving food - you deserve it! (And we won't even go there about your absurdly fast post-baby weight loss. Anywho.)

We're staying put for Thanksgiving because holy HELL we are doing an awful drive for Christmas/New Years. A combined 36 hours round trip (D.C. to South Carolina to Florida to Atlanta to D.C.) with our then 14 month old and two aging barky Shelties.

I think I already have a migraine.


I've always thought that babies look like little old men, but people look at me funny whenever I say it! I figure it's God's way of letting us know what our little dude will look like when he's 80.....

How do you get a cat to travel with you like that?


You dooooo look like teenage parents. Hot too.
When people say Turkey Day I want to slep them. Gah. You're not 5!
Noah is adorable.


Ok, can't spell. Slep=slap.

Heather B.

umm have fun with that dial up there.

hope Noah enjoys his first turkey day (or stuffing day as I like to call it)!


Teenage parents -- HAAAAH.

And could Noah and your dad be ANY cuter!??


Oh wow Amy he's getting soooo big! You guys make such a lovely family, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Oh and the face hitting? Wait until you get a bloody nose from the back of his not-quite-in-control head. Ouchies!

Erin O'Brien

This is the rite of passage. The obligatory recording and compilation of life.

And, in 30 years, when the crows feet are well established and the hearts are weary soldiers, this becomes the evidence of our lives.


Kate The Great

Happy Thanksgiving! The pictures are wonderful. You have a very adorable, little babalah =)


jenny mcarthy in GAUCHOS!


I like the teenage parents photo. You really look like ones. The baby is adorable.


Great pics! No new babies at our family gathering this year.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

Big Gay Sam

Once again, GORGEOUS BABY!! Ya'll do good work.

Happy Thanksgiving. May the wishbone work in your favor. :P


Happy Thanksgiving!

Sarah King

To all beloved readers:

When exactly is Thanksgiving? Over here in far-away Europe we are pretty much oblivious to this particular American holiday, but I see you guys celebrating and I want to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, if I'm not too late.


Sarah King; In the States, Thanksgiving is celebrated the last Thursday of November. Canada celebrates it the second Monday of October. I don't know why.


Thanks Slyeyes!

Ann Adams

Belated greetings from the CA central valley. Saw the photo on blogging baby and had to check out the rest of them. He's adorable and I love baby pictures.

Maybe not everyone has a crocheted afghan but I do. So did Rosanne Barr on her t.v. show.

I wasn't first but for now I'm last.

Ann Adams

Thanksgiving is the 4th Thursday of November. I'd have to get out a calculator to figure out if November ever has a 5th Thursday but if it does I'd hate for someone to show up for turkey at an empty house.

I know, picky, picky.

Mama C-ta

Those are some great photos, he's so frigin' cute. Happy belated T-day!

D double E

Great pictures... and SO cute.


Cute pictures!
I just found your blog and I think you are great! Glad you had a good weekend.


My Thanksgiving consisted of fighting back the urge to lock my 11 year-old cousin in the laundry room. He's not so cute.

Will gladly trade him for Noah. Or broken rat dog. Who IS still the star. Whenever Mommy gets around to posting pictures, anyway!


happy belated thank-you-giving.

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