Or As Some Readers Will See It: Blah Blah Blah Baby Photo Blah Blah
November 23, 2005
In lieu of the Advice Smackdown, I present the Greatest Parenting Lesson Ever Learned:
Driving to Pennsylvania in the pouring rain with a husband, a seven-week-old baby, a slightly broken rat dog and a huge-ass cat may make you momentarily ponder abandoning one or more of them at the next rest stop, and this doesn't make you a bad person, it just means you're human, at least that's what I'm telling myself.
So I'm visiting family this week, because THE NON-STOP PARADE OF FAMILY THAT HAS MARCHED THROUGH MY HOUSE THE PAST TWO MONTHS OR SO HAS NOT BEEN ENOUGH TO FULLY DRIVE ME OUT OF MY MIND. OH NO, NOT AT ALL.
(The caps lock, she is stubborn on this computer, this computer with DIAL. UP. DIIIIAAALLL UPPPP. I almost wish there was a super-caps-lock button I could hit to make that point even larger and cappier.)
On the bright side, though, we're with family members determined to document Noah's every blessed breath, so I have a lot of pictures. No, A LOT.
OMIGOD, HE'S SMILING! AGAIN! WHERE'S THE CAMERA!
(Four different relatives go skittering off in four different directions to grab four different cameras.)
Did you realize Jason and I were really teenage parents? We're actually two 17-year-olds in a bad way, drifting from one tacky guest room bedspread to another.
In which I ruin another priceless photo with my need to not have the child covered in spit-up.
In which I ruin yet another photo with my exhausted, eye-baggy presence.
If you take four hundred million family portraits, your son is bound to smack you in the face in at least a dozen of them.
In which I've learned my lesson about the face-smacking, but it is all for naught, for the baby, he has had quite enough.
Ceiba's all, "Hey, last Thanksgiving, I was the star. Am still a star! Am the biggest star of them all! Am ready for my close-up! HA HA HA!"
Max thinks y'all are stupid, and he is leaving.
Noah thinks y'all are weird, and he is pooping.
The family resemblence is shocking, no?
Am I seriously first!? WOW great post w/ as always great pictures!! Happy Thanksgiving!!
Posted by: Shelley | November 23, 2005 at 09:21 AM
Happy Thanksgiving!
Posted by: divinecalm | November 23, 2005 at 09:21 AM
LOVE the last photo! That's a great one for the memory book. Have a Happy Thanksgiving despite the tacky bedspreads. Take care!
Posted by: paula | November 23, 2005 at 09:22 AM
First comment!
Have a lovely Turkey Day!
Amy
Posted by: Amy | November 23, 2005 at 09:23 AM
Wheee, great pictures! Good luck driving home, too.
Posted by: Ursula | November 23, 2005 at 09:25 AM
oh, you all are just too cute... happy thanksgiving!
p.s. what IS with the attractions of capslock? i find myself having to constantly edit because THIS PHRASE, it is better and funnier that previous capslocked PHRASE, and therefore i wish to further emphasize it... but only can do that by de-capslocking the previous PHRASE, and now it looks all ordinary... anyway, one day i'll write the whole damn post in capslock AND BE DONE WITH IT. if you do find a super-capslock, i want to hear all about it! it is obviously what my life has been missing!
Posted by: alidancer | November 23, 2005 at 09:27 AM
The fourth photo? Noah's all, "This one's just us boys. Go away, mom." WHACK!
P.S. Happy Thanksgiving. You WILL get through this!
Posted by: Amytoo | November 23, 2005 at 09:27 AM
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope he didn't smack you too hard in the face during that picture.
Posted by: Jessie | November 23, 2005 at 09:28 AM
Great pics. Sympathize with the dial up issues--I live out in the sticks where, unless I want to pay unreal prices for satellite DSL (which I don't), I'm stuck with dial-up. Gah.
Thank God for blazing-fast internet access at work, and nobody breathing down my neck while I am so not using my fast internet powers for the good of the company.
Happy Turkey Day!
Posted by: dylansmom | November 23, 2005 at 09:29 AM
Happy Thanksgiving. Love the pictures. You look great!!!
Posted by: Stacy O | November 23, 2005 at 09:29 AM
But there is wine, no? Wine will make it all better. Plus, will make for very funny pictures.
Love the last photo!
Posted by: Jessica | November 23, 2005 at 09:29 AM
OMG. Your last post about those stoopid loose capri-ish pants! Was getting a manicure last night at Montgomery Mall and saw a woman, middle age in a whole velvet getup, brown and purple - with fucked up pants, you know baggy, just below the knee, and BOOTS! I mean, WTF?! Glad you took a stand on that one.
Posted by: FMS | November 23, 2005 at 09:32 AM
at least you spent the day productively. i've spent my morning photographing the water pouring out of my sink onto the bathroom floor.
Posted by: alidancer | November 23, 2005 at 09:43 AM
Happy Turkey Day Amalah!! You guys make up the most adorable little family ever!
On the fourth pic, Noah's smacking you in the face because he, too, hates the CAPSLOCK....
Posted by: kentucky_kitty | November 23, 2005 at 09:43 AM
Am very glad I am not the only one who takes the cat to the family's house for the holidays.
Posted by: Janet | November 23, 2005 at 09:43 AM
I do hope the grampa was not pooping.
Posted by: Bozoette Mary | November 23, 2005 at 09:47 AM
Awww, yay for the pictures!! My husband thinks your son is one of the cutest babies EVER (and he doesn't make statements like that often). I'm glad you guys survived the trip, and are enjoying the many pictures taken (at least we get to enjoy them!!! yay!) Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Posted by: Corinne | November 23, 2005 at 09:52 AM
Yes, I agree with the cutest baby EVER statement! I keep dragging people in my office over to see the cuteness of Noah. And then I get asked things like "is that your nephew?" or "is that your son?" Heh, I wish that I was married to the adorable Jason and had the most precious baby ever like Noah.
Happy Thanksgiving, adorable family!
Posted by: The Muse | November 23, 2005 at 09:59 AM
Very very funny! Even with the dial-up. Loading those pictures must've taken all night.
Posted by: cursingmama | November 23, 2005 at 09:59 AM
SO dedicated, you are, you are, Amalah! Seriously, it must have taken forever to upload.
Noah is too cute, dude.
Have a great Thanksgiving!
Posted by: de | November 23, 2005 at 10:08 AM
Have a great Thanksgiving from another denizen of Planet Pennsylvania.
Posted by: Pratt | November 23, 2005 at 10:19 AM
I think you look fabulous - no bags in sight.
And the great thing about skittering camera-wielding relatives is that you usually will end up with at least one good photo from all the photo-taking that goes on.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Posted by: Pam | November 23, 2005 at 10:23 AM
oh no. people here are starting to do that thing they did obsessively with dooce's old comment forum: "Am I first? Oh wow, I'm first!!!1! whee!"
i don't get that?
Posted by: abbey | November 23, 2005 at 10:27 AM
Happy Thanksgiving Storch Family. I'll be driving to PA this afternoon as well. Let's hope we both miss the snow.
Posted by: TB | November 23, 2005 at 10:34 AM
Hahahahahaha LOVE that last photo. Happy Thanksgiving, hon!
Posted by: Mir | November 23, 2005 at 10:36 AM
Dial up? Yuck. But hooray for family that loves your baby almost as much as you and Jason do!!
Hope your Thanksgiving is fabulous (the weather looks decent, which is a plus).
Posted by: Isabel | November 23, 2005 at 10:43 AM
Am I seriously the only one who cannot get past the fact that that baby looks EXACTLY LIKE YOU?
Geez. Mini-Me.
Posted by: Lori | November 23, 2005 at 10:50 AM
Eesh, and I thought my drive across the country with two angry, yowling cats (whose names quickly became "Gator Bait") was terror enough. Sounds like you've trumped me!
Noah is scrumptious and adorable, and I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Posted by: Jen | November 23, 2005 at 10:58 AM
I was thinking the same thing about the photo upload time- what dedication! That last picture had me laughing out loud.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Posted by: Quinn | November 23, 2005 at 11:11 AM
Again, so much familial cuteness!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Posted by: Polichick | November 23, 2005 at 11:26 AM
And here I had already heard that babies are practically duplicates of their fathers during the first two years, but CLEARLY it is that they look like . .uh whoever that last one is.
Posted by: Anyabeth | November 23, 2005 at 11:42 AM
that last picture is priceless.
Posted by: beth | November 23, 2005 at 11:46 AM
Aw, girl, you are not baggy-eyed you look beautiful and happy and damn your hairs getting long. Have a wonderful holiday!! Noah is the spiitting image of Jason.
Posted by: Bethany | November 23, 2005 at 12:13 PM
Too many pictures? Never...
Posted by: Number Twelve | November 23, 2005 at 12:13 PM
Ceiba definitely wants to be the star. But Noah takes the cake... um, turkey... for being just so cute!
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Posted by: Nancy | November 23, 2005 at 12:41 PM
Happy Thanksgiving, new family! So you decided to make the drive, eh? I'm pondering a 4 hour drive to Long Island in two weeks with a (then) 6 week old... And we'd have to spend the night with two cats (I'm allergic). If only there were advice to be had. Until then, I'll just read up on your holiday adventures and hope to learn something. :)
Posted by: hollowsquirrel | November 23, 2005 at 12:50 PM
I'm kinda glad you said that about the resemblance in the last picture so that I don't have to feel bad for thinking it. I'm sure that my feelings were of utmost concern when you typed it. Next time, when you're typing with regard to my feelings, please use that super caps lock key so that I'll know which section I should pay close attention to.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving,
the Idiot
Posted by: the village idiot | November 23, 2005 at 01:03 PM
why NOW is rat dog slightly broken? still the leg dealie? poor thing.
good luck dealing with the Paparazzi.
jason looks like a mannequin in those 2 pictures. a snazzy mannequin, but still :P
(ooh...see what i did there? "papa"razzi, and "man"nequin? awwww yeah. nevermind....)
enjoy the turkeyness!!
Posted by: Laura | November 23, 2005 at 01:09 PM
That last photo has to win a photo contest somewhere, sometime. It's the best. Please find something to submit it to (a "mini-me" contest, or something!) and let us know when it wins. Happy T Day!
Posted by: C | November 23, 2005 at 01:16 PM
Methinks by the end, the pressure of being a star was getting to Noah.
Also - wow, you're really getting closer to the Dooce level of stardom with this whole, "OMFG am I FIRST? FIIIIRST BITCHES!" I still totally think you should get those, "I read Amalah when she was UNDERGROUND, bitches!" made. I still think you're brilliant though, especially with that adorable edible baby of yours.
Posted by: Zoe | November 23, 2005 at 01:40 PM
As we slog slowly through Buck County on our way to NJ from Philly...I shall wave. First to Noah, then to Amalah and Jason.
Posted by: Theresa | November 23, 2005 at 01:59 PM
As we slog slowly through Bucks County, stuck on the PA Turnpike as we head into NJ from Philly...I shall wave. First to Noah, then to Amalah and Jason.
Posted by: Theresa | November 23, 2005 at 01:59 PM
The tacky bedspread snark? You totally read my mind.
Enjoy the holiday [don't spend all your time uploading]
Posted by: Lisa Ann | November 23, 2005 at 02:28 PM
happy thanksgiving to you and yours.
I thought maybe noah was smacking you for posting pictures of him (cute as they are) laying on an afghan that clashes with the rug beneath. Serious fashion faux pas, no?
Posted by: deb | November 23, 2005 at 02:51 PM
Things one thinks, perhaps, while reading Amalah.com:
1. If my mother sees this, I will cry, because the When Am I Getting A Grandkid thing? It's already on thick.
2. When babies are held, they like to orate. Like Cicero.
3. Is that a grandma-crocheted afghan? And does everyone have a grandma-crocheted afghan?
4. BACK YARD! Hey, look! Non city folks get things like grass. And flower pots. So many colors.
5. Baby tongue! How cute is that? How cute?
Posted by: Real Girl | November 23, 2005 at 03:03 PM
Wow. YOu can tell little boy and Grandpa are related! :-) Great pics. You and Jason DO look really young. Don't worry, not sleeping for a few months will take care of that. heehee.
Posted by: Lisa B | November 23, 2005 at 03:32 PM
Happy Turkey Day! Gorge yourself on yummy Thanksgiving food - you deserve it! (And we won't even go there about your absurdly fast post-baby weight loss. Anywho.)
We're staying put for Thanksgiving because holy HELL we are doing an awful drive for Christmas/New Years. A combined 36 hours round trip (D.C. to South Carolina to Florida to Atlanta to D.C.) with our then 14 month old and two aging barky Shelties.
I think I already have a migraine.
Posted by: Peyton | November 23, 2005 at 03:40 PM
I've always thought that babies look like little old men, but people look at me funny whenever I say it! I figure it's God's way of letting us know what our little dude will look like when he's 80.....
How do you get a cat to travel with you like that?
Posted by: Robyn | November 23, 2005 at 04:12 PM
You dooooo look like teenage parents. Hot too.
When people say Turkey Day I want to slep them. Gah. You're not 5!
Noah is adorable.
Posted by: Mary | November 23, 2005 at 04:26 PM
Ok, can't spell. Slep=slap.
Posted by: mary | November 23, 2005 at 04:45 PM
umm have fun with that dial up there.
hope Noah enjoys his first turkey day (or stuffing day as I like to call it)!
Posted by: Heather B. | November 23, 2005 at 05:10 PM
Teenage parents -- HAAAAH.
And could Noah and your dad be ANY cuter!??
Posted by: Broad | November 23, 2005 at 05:30 PM
Oh wow Amy he's getting soooo big! You guys make such a lovely family, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Oh and the face hitting? Wait until you get a bloody nose from the back of his not-quite-in-control head. Ouchies!
Posted by: warcrygirl | November 23, 2005 at 06:53 PM
This is the rite of passage. The obligatory recording and compilation of life.
And, in 30 years, when the crows feet are well established and the hearts are weary soldiers, this becomes the evidence of our lives.
Viva.
Posted by: Erin O'Brien | November 24, 2005 at 04:00 AM
Happy Thanksgiving! The pictures are wonderful. You have a very adorable, little babalah =)
Posted by: Kate The Great | November 24, 2005 at 06:57 AM
jenny mcarthy in GAUCHOS!
http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/
Posted by: jennifer | November 24, 2005 at 09:03 AM
I like the teenage parents photo. You really look like ones. The baby is adorable.
Posted by: Franci | November 24, 2005 at 12:44 PM
Great pics! No new babies at our family gathering this year.
*sob*
Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!
Posted by: wordgirl | November 24, 2005 at 01:20 PM
Once again, GORGEOUS BABY!! Ya'll do good work.
Happy Thanksgiving. May the wishbone work in your favor. :P
Posted by: Big Gay Sam | November 24, 2005 at 01:39 PM
Happy Thanksgiving!
Posted by: Emily | November 24, 2005 at 07:43 PM
To all Amalah.com beloved readers:
When exactly is Thanksgiving? Over here in far-away Europe we are pretty much oblivious to this particular American holiday, but I see you guys celebrating and I want to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, if I'm not too late.
Posted by: Sarah King | November 25, 2005 at 10:12 AM
Sarah King; In the States, Thanksgiving is celebrated the last Thursday of November. Canada celebrates it the second Monday of October. I don't know why.
Posted by: slyeyes | November 25, 2005 at 09:41 PM
Thanks Slyeyes!
Posted by: Sarah | November 26, 2005 at 07:41 AM
Belated greetings from the CA central valley. Saw the photo on blogging baby and had to check out the rest of them. He's adorable and I love baby pictures.
Maybe not everyone has a crocheted afghan but I do. So did Rosanne Barr on her t.v. show.
I wasn't first but for now I'm last.
Posted by: Ann Adams | November 26, 2005 at 12:34 PM
Thanksgiving is the 4th Thursday of November. I'd have to get out a calculator to figure out if November ever has a 5th Thursday but if it does I'd hate for someone to show up for turkey at an empty house.
I know, picky, picky.
Posted by: Ann Adams | November 26, 2005 at 12:41 PM
Those are some great photos, he's so frigin' cute. Happy belated T-day!
Posted by: Mama C-ta | November 26, 2005 at 10:55 PM
Great pictures... and SO cute.
Posted by: D double E | November 27, 2005 at 06:28 PM
Cute pictures!
I just found your blog and I think you are great! Glad you had a good weekend.
Posted by: brittny | November 28, 2005 at 08:13 AM
My Thanksgiving consisted of fighting back the urge to lock my 11 year-old cousin in the laundry room. He's not so cute.
Will gladly trade him for Noah. Or broken rat dog. Who IS still the star. Whenever Mommy gets around to posting pictures, anyway!
Posted by: xtine | November 28, 2005 at 09:34 AM
happy belated thank-you-giving.
Posted by: skipper | November 28, 2005 at 04:15 PM