Look! The child does in fact have eyeballs! (Yes, this post is going to be nothing but scrumptious baby photos. And I will not apologize, because THE SCRUMPTIOUS BABY, HE MUST BE PHOTOGRAPHED.) Smiles! For Daddy, of course. Grr. (Do you see that receding hairline? Everyday he wakes up with less and less actual hair and more downy blond peach fuzz. Yet he still has a full head of hair from his ears on back, which makes it hard to overlook the passing resemblance to Clint Howard.) (Also, he is SUCH a mini-Jason it is not even funny.) "You know, if I have to look like a big, lopsided beached whale for months on end, I better get a baby who looks like me, the one WHO DID ALL THE DAMN WORK." Noah ponders his sneaking suspicion that his mom sometimes goes a little nuts with dressing him to coordinate with his surroundings. "Go on, Mom. Tell the Internet what in sam hill I'm doing in the bathroom and improperly restrained on the bouncy seat. Tell them how you let me sleep here for hours last night with the water running at full blast because I would not tolerate being... Read more →

OH MY GOD, IT'S THE WEDNESDAY ADVICE SMACKDOWN! For the bazillion new readers who have joined us via The Washingtonian, davebarry.com or who are Just Here For The Baby Pictures, here's a little background: Once upon a time I felt like being bossy and told my friends to invent fake questions that I would make up fake advice for on Wednesdays. Then people started sending in real questions. So I tried to start giving real advice, with dubious results. You can read every past Smackdown and/or Smackdownish entry by clicking here. Translation: I am not very good at this and probably don't know what I'm talking about most of the time. Passive-Aggressive Translation: Because I openly admit that, you are not allowed to tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about in the comments section. I may be full of shit, but it's uppity shit and I don't want to hear about it. Today the Smackdown returns to its old school roots when I used to bang out questions one at a time throughout the whole day when I had free time at work. Now I will post questions whenever Noah is asleep or otherwise entertained. (Don't get... Read more →