The Surreal Life
November 08, 2005
Or, My Life on the D-List
Or Or, My Dinner with Antonin
Last night I shared an order of fried calimari with Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.
I know! Even I was thinking, "The hell?"
So about a week ago, Jason and I were asked to be judges at the 2005 International Wine for Oysters Competition at Old Ebbitt Grill here in DC. (For the non-locals, every year Old Ebbitt throws this huge-ass party called the Oyster Riot and holds the wine competition ahead of time to determine 10 wines that will be paired with the oysters and, I assume, will get everyone tanked and properly riotous.)
We were completely flattered and were all, "We are bona-fide local celebrities now! Riot!"
Then Amy, the event organizer (who keeps ordering me not to write anything bad about her, which OF COURSE I WON'T, that would take valuable space away from discussions of my boobs), sent us the list of the OTHER judges.
Scalia. Phyllis Richman. Food Network show hosts. Actual Media Professionals. And Other People Who Probably Know Way, Way More About Wine And Oysters Than Us.
It was exceedingly clear that two judges had pulled out and we were the Bottom of the D-List Barrel.
But who the fuck could care when we're talking about a competition of 20 wines and all the oysters we could eat, PLUS tickets to the sold-out-since-forever Oyster Riot?
Hint: not us!
So we agreed, and I was determined to be as fabulous and non-mommy-like as possible, and even seriously considered taking the baby to Georgetown to shop for new clothes. As in, new clothes for ME, new clothes that did not snap around the crotch or feature sayings like "Daddy's Little All-Star" or some such shit.
I did not take the baby to Georgetown, because...well, that's a lot of work and planning and I thought the lighting in dressing rooms was depressing BEFORE, so I cannot even imagine what my wide, squashy expanse of stretch marks would look like under those lights.
So I rooted around my closet and behold! I found that an admittedly quite awesome suit from Banana Republic actually, seriously fit me. As in, I could zip the pants ALL THE WAY UP. (I will not say whether I actually left the house with them zipped all the way up, or if I maybe left them an inch or so unzipped in order to minimize the over-the-waistband-pooch-while-sitting effect, because THE POINT IS, I COULD ZIP THEM IF I WANTED TO.)
And with a scandalously low and suddenly-super-filled-out silky camisole under the jacket and the return of the fuck-me gold stilettos, I was SO READY to ascend to at least the C-list of Washingtonian celebrity.
Of course, you know where this is going, right? You totally know that the baby pooped all over my silky camisole the instant the babysitter showed up, right?
Sigh. I wore a regular tank top instead.
(And yes, of course our babysitter has a blog. Doesn't yours?)
So we arrived, and all the other judges were Networking, and we stood in the corner like Idiots, because I was suddenly hit with an Attack of the Shy, and OMG, Jason's seated next to Phyllis Richman, who like, OWNED THIS TOWN when she was the head food critic for The Post, and JASON DON'T LEAVE ME TO GO TALK TO HER AND DON'T MAKE ME GO TALK TO HER BECAUSE I WILL SAY SOMETHING DUMB ABOUT MY DUMB WEBSITE.
Once we were seated at our little appointed stations (which contained, no lie, seven hundred million billion different wine glasses and a gallon-sized spit bucket), we had to go around the room and introduce ourselves, and GOD, I'm SUCH A LOON, because while the other blogger there had the sense to introduce herself as a freelance writer and Jason just said he "wrote for" DCFoodies.com, I completely forgot that I could mention my ACTUAL JOB and just mentioned my website and I called it a blog and nobody there knew what a blog was I think and then the President of the Old Ebbit Restaurant Empire asked me if I had a webcam, and I meekly protested that it's more of a creative writing thing, not so much of a sex-on-camera-exhibition thing, but by then the person next to me was introducing himself and I decided to Shut The RIghteous Fuck Up.
Luckily they started pouring the wine soon after that.
And oh, my GOD, the wine. Twenty different wines and we were supposed to taste each one with an oyster, and oh, my GOD, the oysters. I kept tasting the wines repeatedly, mostly because I wanted to eat more oysters, and partly because I knew there would be a mingling cocktail hour afterwards and then dinner and I figured if I was really drunk I wouldn't notice if I said stupid things about blogs to people.
Oh, and we had Official Judging Clipboards where we were supposed to write comments about each wine and assign a numbered rank to each one.
My comments? Were the STUPIDEST THINGS EVER. Everyone around me was the type who could sniff each glass and detect the barest scent of a nutty edam cheese and discuss the fruit's effect on the brininess of the oyster or whatever, and all my comments were like: Good. Is crisp or something. Contains alcohol, which is a plus.
On one wine that I didn't like? I seriously just wrote "Meh."
(Needless to say, the winning 10 wines were almost all the wines that I ranked in the bottom 20.)
After the official judging and whatnot, we all went upstairs for -- what else? More free wine and oysters. And Networking.
Guess which of those three things I did NOT do so much partaking of.
Jason: You should introduce yourself to the publisher of DC Magazine and see if you could submit articles or something. He's right over there.
Amy: (nods thoughtfully) Yes. Yes I should.
Jason: Well?
Amy: Look! I am not paying for this champagne!
While I was pondering what kind of monstrous mother leaves her five-week-old with a babysitter and whether my nursing pads were still in place, everybody sat down for dinner, and the only spot left was right next to SUPREME COURT JUSTICE ANTONIN SCALIA.
I kind of freaked and grabbed Event Organizer Amy and hissed that I COULD NOT SIT NEXT TO SCALIA, and she assured that he is actually quite nice and not scary, and we'd probably be discussing food and wine mostly, so if I could just not have any Tourette's episodes of yelling GEORGE BUSH SUCKS! HARRIET MIERS WTF! for an hour or so, I would do just fine.
And indeed, he is charming and nice and we compared our rankings to the winning wines and we actually liked several of the same ones. And he shared his fried calimari with me and then ordered a hamburger and a beer. Which: awesome.
I ordered filet mignon. And didn't giggle stupidly when Marc Silverstein of the Food Network told me how awesome I looked after having a baby five weeks ago, although I did introduce him to Jason by pointing and shrieking, "The Best Of! The Best Of!"
Oh, and in my oh-so-suave way of justifying why in HELL I'd been asked to participate in the competition, I mentioned the Washingtonian article and then (oh, GOD) starting rattling off my visitor stats. So, so tacky, but since at least 98% of the people there still didn't get what a blog was and clearly still thought I had sex on a webcam or went through my congressman's garbage looking for incriminating memos to post, they didn't get why that was a tacky, dick move on my part.
Anyway. I could still walk when we left, although I was officially Freaking Out About Missing My Baby, My Precious, Precious Baaaaybeee.
Who was fine and alive and sleeping peacefully. Ceiba missed us a lot more, and gave us all a minor heart attack by FALLING OFF THE BACK OF THE COUCH as we walked in, because YEAH, LET'S SPEND THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS ON ANOTHER STUPID LEG, YOU STUPID DOG.
And Noah rewarded our neglect with sleeping for six. Hours. In. A. Row. Six! Sixsixsixsix!
I woke up at 2 am anyway, already in the throes of the most awful hangover EVER, or at least since JANUARY, and stumbled around looking for Excederin and water and very nearly had an oyster-related-come-to-Jesus-experience in the bathroom but did not, because pregnancy or no, I am still an old pro at this drinking thing.
Although I will probably be pumping and dumping breastmilk for at least a week, which really adds a new dimension to Big Nights Out, and how many D-list celebs do you know that will share THAT kind of information with you? Huh? NONE. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT A BLOG IS ALL ABOUT PEOPLE. THE SHARING.
I think I forgot to thank Justice Scalia (no, he didn't tell me I could call him Tony or Big T) for sharing his calimari though, and I may have spelled my website's name wrong to a couple people who pretended like they would rush home and check it out. (Probably because they still think I am having sex on a webcam.)
"No webcam here, just some stupid girl who tried to photograph her baby's big gummy smile and forgot to turn off the damn baby swing beforehand."
New favorite picture of Noah!
Posted by: Broad | November 08, 2005 at 12:48 PM
Yea! for oysters and wine! What an awesome night, despite the whole web cam thing. And? I am totally jealous of your celebrity status.
*sulks in the corner like a two year old*
Posted by: Jessica | November 08, 2005 at 12:51 PM
I'm not even going to exclaim, "OMG, I'm the first comment?!" Because I'm certain by the time this posts, someone with fingers quicker than mine, will beat my ass.
Plus, I'm trying to win a brown and pink polka dotted shower curtain on ebay just now.
Sweet post, Amalah! The sharing of the calamari is a story for the ages. I do, though, wished you'd screamed something like, "Harriet Miers WTF!!"
Posted by: Heatherette | November 08, 2005 at 12:51 PM
I'm not even going to exclaim, "OMG, I'm the first comment?!" Because I'm certain by the time this posts, someone with fingers quicker than mine, will beat my ass.
Plus, I'm trying to win a brown and pink polka dotted shower curtain on ebay just now.
Sweet post, Amalah! The sharing of the calamari is a story for the ages. I do, though, wish you'd screamed, "Harriet Miers WTF!!" or something similarly cool.
Posted by: Heatherette | November 08, 2005 at 12:52 PM
Love the picture. I would also totally do something like that, so don't feel bad. Also, the dinner sounds awesome, and I would have acted just like you did. Too completely aware of myself and thinking that I said something wrong. I'm sure you did fine and everyone was very interested in what you had to say. Sounds like an awesome evening and I am completely jealous. :)
Posted by: Jessie | November 08, 2005 at 12:52 PM
I'm not even going to exclaim, "OMG, I'm the first comment?!" Because I'm certain by the time this posts, someone with fingers quicker than mine, will beat my ass.
Plus, I'm trying to win a brown and pink polka dotted shower curtain in ebay just now.
Sweet post, Amalah! The sharing of the calamari is a story for the ages. I do, though, wished you'd screamed something like, "Harriet Miers WTF!!"
Posted by: Heatherette | November 08, 2005 at 12:52 PM
you totaly sound like me in social situations. And I'm sorry about that. But it makes a great entry to you "blog".
*checking for the webcam link*
Posted by: Theresa | November 08, 2005 at 12:53 PM
you totaly sound like me in social situations. And I'm sorry about that. But it makes a great entry to you "blog".
*checking for the webcam link*
Posted by: Theresa | November 08, 2005 at 12:53 PM
Wow, your a fucking rockstar now. Am so jealous. And feeling completely inadequate.
Still, congratulations, and remember to milk your celebrity status for all it's worth.
Posted by: Zoe | November 08, 2005 at 12:53 PM
Woohoo!! Yea for wine and oysters...but mostly wine. V. happy for your good night out, despite web cam related shennanigans. Oh, and I? am totally jealous of your D-list celebrity status.
Posted by: Jessica | November 08, 2005 at 12:54 PM
Wow, you're a fucking rockstar now. Am so jealous. And feeling completely inadequate.
Still, congratulations, and remember to milk your celebrity status for all it's worth.
Posted by: Zoe | November 08, 2005 at 12:54 PM
you totaly sound like me in social situations. And I'm sorry about that. But it makes a great entry to you "blog".
*checking for the webcam link*
Posted by: Theresa | November 08, 2005 at 12:55 PM
Ummmm, but was your precious baby intact and fine and sleeping upon your arrival?? Yes he was. And you are so not monstrous for leaving your five week old with a babysitter. Because (ahem) that babysitter took extra special care of your baby, because he's so freaking adorable. And that suit looked really good on you (I forgot to mention that) and I almost shit myself when Ceiba fell. Anyway, glad you had fun!
Posted by: Heather B. | November 08, 2005 at 12:56 PM
What a great post. Celebrity! Humor! Oysters! Law! Can't say I am a fan of Old Ebbit--had to bitch out the hostess once after we waited 20 minutes for them to seat us after we had arrived early for our reservation--us meaning my husband, me, 18 month old nephew, 6 mos. pregnant sister in law and her husband--though they assured me that they "are completely child friendly." Liars.
So you might want to remember that when you take Noah there--definitely drop the name, yo.
Oh, and the important thing--the baby is ADORABLE.
Posted by: Melissa | November 08, 2005 at 12:57 PM
Ummmm, but was your precious baby intact and fine and sleeping upon your arrival?? Yes he was. And you are so not monstrous for leaving your five week old with a babysitter. Because (ahem) that babysitter took extra special care of your baby, because he's so freaking adorable. And that suit looked really good on you (I forgot to mention that) and I almost shit myself when Ceiba fell. Anyway, glad you had fun!
Posted by: Heather B. | November 08, 2005 at 12:57 PM
Bwahahahahahaaaaaa.
Amy's back! ;)
Posted by: Mir | November 08, 2005 at 12:58 PM
Sweet, duplicate comment.
Posted by: Heatherette | November 08, 2005 at 12:59 PM
You are hilarious!! You sound so much like me and my friends. Except we are not even D-list San Francisco celebs. And we've never dined with anyone from the supreme court.
You are so the A+ list mom, though. Hella cool. 5 weeks, into old clothes and out at serious EVENTS! You rock, sista.
Job? what job?! Isn't this life?
Posted by: deb | November 08, 2005 at 01:00 PM
How did Scalia introduce himself? What does he say, "Hi, I'm Tony. Associate Justice, biatch??" Seriously.
Posted by: Johnny Sapphire | November 08, 2005 at 01:00 PM
Bwahahahahahaaaaaa.
Amy's back! ;)
Posted by: Mir | November 08, 2005 at 01:00 PM
As a fellow attendee of last night's event, I can tell the Internet at large that despite Amalah's protests she looked TOTALLY fabulous. From perfect hair to FM stilettos. Your rock babe.
Posted by: kathy | November 08, 2005 at 01:01 PM
Amalah! What a story! Your life is so crazy and exciting. And, hey, maybe you'll get a few new readers? Like Judge Scalia. Heh.
By the way... I love the Old Ebbitt Grill, hubby and I actually went went there for dinner on the first night of our honeymoon.
Posted by: Dillygirl | November 08, 2005 at 01:01 PM
Am loving the pic of Noah. Classic.
And also, so jealous of your big night out. Oysters=yummy!
Posted by: Isabel | November 08, 2005 at 01:01 PM
You are hilarious!! You sound so much like me and my friends. Except we are not even D-list San Francisco celebs. And we've never dined with anyone from the supreme court.
You are so the A+ list mom, though. Hella cool. 5 weeks, into old clothes and out at serious EVENTS! You rock, sista.
Job? what job?! Isn't this life?
Posted by: deb | November 08, 2005 at 01:01 PM
As a fellow attendee of last night's event, I can tell the Internet at large that despite Amalah's protests she looked TOTALLY fabulous. From perfect hair to FM stilettos. You rock babe.
Posted by: kathy | November 08, 2005 at 01:01 PM
Bwahahahahahaaaaaa.
Amy's back! ;)
Posted by: Mir | November 08, 2005 at 01:01 PM
what a life :-)
and I think a webcame is just the thing you need, eh?
Posted by: Sharon | November 08, 2005 at 01:02 PM
As a fellow attendee of last night's event, I can tell the Internet at large that despite Amalah's protests she looked TOTALLY fabulous. From perfect hair to FM stilettos. You rock babe.
Posted by: kathy | November 08, 2005 at 01:02 PM
You are hilarious!! You sound so much like me and my friends. Except we are not even D-list San Francisco celebs. And we've never dined with anyone from the supreme court.
You are so the A+ list mom, though. Hella cool. 5 weeks, into old clothes and out at serious EVENTS! You rock, sista.
Job? what job?! Isn't this life?
Posted by: deb | November 08, 2005 at 01:04 PM
As a fellow attendee of last night's event, I can tell the Internet at large that despite Amalah's protests she looked TOTALLY fabulous. From perfect hair to FM stilettos. Your rock babe.
Posted by: kathy | November 08, 2005 at 01:04 PM
I am so glad you and Jason went and not me and my husband, because said husband would have very likely punched Fat Tony in the nose and gotten arrested (and maybe they would have arrested me for yelling all of the things at FT that I would have probably been yelling).
You are such civilized people. That is all.
Posted by: scoutsadie | November 08, 2005 at 01:06 PM
Holy duplicate comments, Batman!
What the fuck, Typepad? Why ya gotta be such a bitch to the nice people?
Posted by: Amalah | November 08, 2005 at 01:07 PM
I am so glad you and Jason went and not me and my husband, because said husband would have very likely punched Fat Tony in the nose and gotten arrested (and maybe they would have arrested me for yelling all of the things at FT that I would have probably been yelling).
You are such civilized people. That is all.
Posted by: scoutsadie | November 08, 2005 at 01:08 PM
I am so glad you and Jason went and not me and my husband, because said husband would have very likely punched Fat Tony in the nose and gotten arrested (and maybe they would have arrested me for yelling all of the things at FT that I would have probably been yelling).
You are such civilized people. That is all.
Posted by: scoutsadie | November 08, 2005 at 01:10 PM
Um - am thinking there is something kooky going on with comments, given all of the dupes.
Also, I tried to post something about punching Fat Tony in the nose, but apparently it did not work.
Would have loved to see your wine comments!
That is all.
Posted by: scoutsadie | November 08, 2005 at 01:11 PM
Okay, so Typepad is going to tell you that your comment has not been posted, or it will appear to timeout or tell you that the document contains no data, which, what document? Huh?
Anyway, IGNORE IT. Your comment IS being posted. Step away from the publish button and hit refresh. Ta da! There it is.
Stupid dumb website. I bet Jennicam never had to deal with this shit.
Posted by: Amalah | November 08, 2005 at 01:16 PM
No one can say "turning Mommy blog!" to you now, who has fabulous posts about Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia?? Come ON!?
You are so funny - and Noah is, as usual, ADORABLE!
Posted by: VHMPrincess | November 08, 2005 at 01:18 PM
No one can say "turning Mommy blog!" to you now, who has fabulous posts about Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia?? Come ON!?
You are so funny - and Noah is, as usual, ADORABLE!
Posted by: VHMPrincess | November 08, 2005 at 01:19 PM
Can I borrow some of those user stats? :)
The wine wouldn't hurt, either . . .
Posted by: kris | November 08, 2005 at 01:20 PM
Can I borrow some of those user stats? :)
The wine wouldn't hurt, either . . .
Posted by: kris | November 08, 2005 at 01:22 PM
mmm wine and oysters and intelligent conversation?
God I can't get that and I've had mine for 15 months!
Lucky lucky woman!!
Posted by: Magnolia | November 08, 2005 at 01:22 PM
Just when I think I may have to give up on you for your infrequent posts, as I am high maintenance... you redeem yourself with a long, hilarious post.
thanks
Posted by: Thora | November 08, 2005 at 01:26 PM
Just when I think I may have to give up on you for your infrequent posts, as I am high maintenance... you redeem yourself with a long, hilarious post.
thanks
Posted by: Thora | November 08, 2005 at 01:28 PM
I don't think it's Typepad's fault, I totally think all of your readers have this cool OCD thing going on where they have to speak in duplicate. It being an even number and all.
Word.
Posted by: Zoe | November 08, 2005 at 01:28 PM
I don't think it's Typepad's fault, I totally think all of your readers have this cool OCD thing going on where they have to speak in duplicate. It being an even number and all.
Word.
Posted by: Zoe | November 08, 2005 at 01:32 PM
I'm jealous not only of your superstardom, but of your ability to find a trustworthy sitter to leave your precious babalah with. My son's 6 months old and I still can't bear to leave him with anyone other than family. (this is a problem, since "family" lives 4-6 hours away and is not often available for babysitting)
I've tried asking my baby-having friends for babysitter referrals, but they all use family too. Would it be odd to ask if someone else's mom can babysit my kid?
But I digress. Sounds like you looked fab & had a great time, and that Noah survived with flying colors. Sleeping 6 hours at a stretch at that age is TOTALLY awesome, and it clearly indicates the quality and talent of the parenting. ;-) Rock on!
Posted by: luv2cats72 | November 08, 2005 at 01:35 PM
Oysters! And wine! I'm having cravings worthy of a pregnant woman right now. What are the chances that any other commenters here are New Yorkers who might have tried Jack's Luxury Oyster Bar? I'm hoping to find out if it's worth the hooplah. And if it is, duh--I'm so going now.
Hi Drunken Amalah, we've missed you and loved you long time. As for feeling guilty? Red wine's good for your heart. You're supposed to have a glass every day! See how handy I am with the health tips?
(Don't duplicate me, Mr. McTypepad.)
Posted by: Real Girl | November 08, 2005 at 01:50 PM
BAH! First post attempt failed. Really. I refreshed and it wasn't there. But maybe this one will show up twice to make up for it.
Anyway. . . sounds like you looked fab and had a great time, all without scarring young Noah for life. Congrats on the 6-hour sleep stretch--you guys MUST be doing something really, really right for him to be sleeping that long at his age!! (yes, that is jealousy you hear!)
Where does one find a dependable babysitter for a precious infant when you don't have family in town to do their duty? I still haven't left my 6-month-old with a sitter, and while I love him to pieces, I'm dying for a good poker game (i.e. the kind where I don't have to bring him with me, play for an hour and leave to put him to bed). Just wondering. . .
Posted by: luv2cats72 | November 08, 2005 at 01:56 PM
BAH! First post attempt failed. Really. I refreshed and it wasn't there. But maybe this one will show up twice to make up for it.
Anyway. . . sounds like you looked fab and had a great time, all without scarring young Noah for life. Congrats on the 6-hour sleep stretch--you guys MUST be doing something really, really right for him to be sleeping that long at his age!! (yes, that is jealousy you hear!)
Where does one find a dependable babysitter for a precious infant when you don't have family in town to do their duty? I still haven't left my 6-month-old with a sitter, and while I love him to pieces, I'm dying for a good poker game (i.e. the kind where I don't have to bring him with me, play for an hour and leave to put him to bed). Just wondering. . .
Posted by: luv2cats72 | November 08, 2005 at 01:58 PM
I am totally crying you did not go in your snappy crotch "Daddy's Little All-Star" outfit, because then I would have loaved you *and* respected you.
Posted by: spammit | November 08, 2005 at 01:58 PM
awesome awesome post post.
that's enough duplicating, typepad.
this post made me laugh out loud continuously. it was a RIOT. too bad i'm not a big fan of Scalia. i am such a socially inept person that i would have just been excited about the wine and made dumb jokes the whole time. i'm so glad you had a fun night out, and that you could wear your hot suit and heels so you could be sex-ay!
Posted by: bethgirl | November 08, 2005 at 01:59 PM
I am totally crying you did not go in your snappy crotch "Daddy's Little All-Star" outfit, because then I would have loaved you *and* respected you.
Posted by: spammit | November 08, 2005 at 02:01 PM
BAH! First post attempt failed. Really. I refreshed and it wasn't there. But maybe this one will show up twice to make up for it.
Anyway. . . sounds like you looked fab and had a great time, all without scarring young Noah for life. Congrats on the 6-hour sleep stretch--you guys MUST be doing something really, really right for him to be sleeping that long at his age!! (yes, that is jealousy you hear!)
Where does one find a dependable babysitter for a precious infant when you don't have family in town to do their duty? I still haven't left my 6-month-old with a sitter, and while I love him to pieces, I'm dying for a good poker game (i.e. the kind where I don't have to bring him with me, play for an hour and leave to put him to bed). Just wondering. . .
Posted by: luv2cats72 | November 08, 2005 at 02:02 PM
BAH! First post attempt failed. Really. I refreshed and it wasn't there. But maybe this one will show up twice to make up for it.
Anyway. . . sounds like you looked fab and had a great time, all without scarring young Noah for life. Congrats on the 6-hour sleep stretch--you guys MUST be doing something really, really right for him to be sleeping that long at his age!! (yes, that is jealousy you hear!)
Where does one find a dependable babysitter for a precious infant when you don't have family in town to do their duty? I still haven't left my 6-month-old with a sitter, and while I love him to pieces, I'm dying for a good poker game (i.e. the kind where I don't have to bring him with me, play for an hour and leave to put him to bed). Just wondering. . .
Posted by: luv2cats72 | November 08, 2005 at 02:03 PM
This made mu laugh out loud:
"... and all my comments were like: Good. Is crisp or something. Contains alcohol, which is a plus."
I went to a wine tasting thing at a friends house and we had to rate and add commetns and I had no idea what to put. I mean, what can you really glean from "so-so" or "not bad"?
"Contains alcohol, which is a plus". awesome. wish Id thougth of that.
yeah, and what is with your dog?? is she TRYING to give you guys a heart attack? or just bankrupt you?
Posted by: JenfromBoston | November 08, 2005 at 02:05 PM
This made mu laugh out loud:
"... and all my comments were like: Good. Is crisp or something. Contains alcohol, which is a plus."
I went to a wine tasting thing at a friends house and we had to rate and add commetns and I had no idea what to put. I mean, what can you really glean from "so-so" or "not bad"?
"Contains alcohol, which is a plus". awesome. wish Id thougth of that.
yeah, and what is with your dog?? is she TRYING to give you guys a heart attack? or just bankrupt you?
Posted by: JenfromBoston | November 08, 2005 at 02:07 PM
Ha! Very amusing night out for the parents. I am really just commenting to try to shame you into posting the Birth Story Part II. I am on bedrest -- I am bored -- and I am REALLY looking forward to reading it. Pretty please?
To further shame you into compliance, Zoot posted hers like four days after she brought NikkiZ home. :)
Posted by: Amy | November 08, 2005 at 02:25 PM
You're like me, Amalah! ...Or I'm like you. Anyway, I was at a party Sunday night and all I could talk about was my blog. I even told one girl, "I recognize you from online!" Some poeple who overheard inched away and thought I was a little bit creepy.
And then I took pictures to post on my blog. It seemed sort of creepy, too, I think.
I'm so thankful for people like us.
Posted by: LCA | November 08, 2005 at 02:36 PM
BAH! First post attempt failed. Really. I refreshed and it wasn't there. But maybe this one will show up twice to make up for it.
Anyway. . . sounds like you looked fab and had a great time, all without scarring young Noah for life. Congrats on the 6-hour sleep stretch--you guys MUST be doing something really, really right for him to be sleeping that long at his age!! (yes, that is jealousy you hear!)
Where does one find a dependable babysitter for a precious infant when you don't have family in town to do their duty? I still haven't left my 6-month-old with a sitter, and while I love him to pieces, I'm dying for a good poker game (i.e. the kind where I don't have to bring him with me, play for an hour and leave to put him to bed). Just wondering. . .
Posted by: luv2cats72 | November 08, 2005 at 02:57 PM
And I thought I was the only one who was slightly socially retarded. You're awesome Amy.
Posted by: TB | November 08, 2005 at 02:58 PM
Well, I certainly didn't spend my night out with the A-listers, like you did. I'm sure we didn't even spend the night with wannabe D-listers.
But I so totally get you on the hangover thing. I spent my night trying to have bartenders make me a halfway decent Blue Lagoon, which seems to be a drink I dreamed up in my sleep because one bar had me go through the drink Rolodex thingie to find something 'similar' and I ended up drinking 3 or 4 'blue things' to try and find the closest possible match. Then I said fuck it and drank about 9 dozen Killer Koolaides instead.
Yeah. Kirsten = drunk. And when I came here and saw the multipleness of posts, I thought I was still waaaaaaaaaaay too intoxicalated to be here on the computer. Geesh TypePad... get a GRIP!
Congrats on the fantabulous night out. Oh, and the pukage thing? Babies do that in a furtive attempt to keep you home. Because anyways, oh. The cuteness.
Posted by: Kirsten | November 08, 2005 at 03:14 PM
Damn, your life is so cool. My life is so lame. Wah.
Posted by: RockStar Mommy | November 08, 2005 at 03:37 PM
Sounds like you had an amazing evening. I'm even more in awe of your ability not to tell Justice Scalia that George Bush, does indeed, suck because there's no way in HELL I would have been able to show that much restraint. I fear that my evening would have ended up with said Justice issuing a restraining order on his own behalf.
Glad you had a good time!
Posted by: Claudia | November 08, 2005 at 04:27 PM
I literally cannot stop laughing at "Good. Is crisp or something." And also, everything else you just wrote. Good God, woman, you are a hoot.
Posted by: Lori | November 08, 2005 at 05:19 PM
Hilarious! That was great!
Posted by: Hilary | November 08, 2005 at 05:36 PM
Ha. They should make a shirt that says "Meh" so when you are feeling in a meh mood or all you want to say to people is "meh" you can just point at your shirt.
Posted by: kat | November 08, 2005 at 06:09 PM
I totally have that same photo of my son at that age! LOL
Posted by: Kelly | November 08, 2005 at 06:48 PM
I love it that even in DC people don't know what a blog is. I mean, no one here gets it, but I'm in freaking Alabama.
You were quite restrained next to Antonin. I might've pinched him and pretended it was someone else.
Anne
Posted by: Anne Glamore | November 08, 2005 at 07:24 PM
Congrats on the having of hangovers again. Congrats on not screaming at the Justice,who is apparently a very nice man (cause not just anyone would share their calimari).
Also,congrats on the whole reliable babysitter deal. Our teenagers are our babysitters,but sometimes (a lot!) teenagers have plans too. When that's the case..kiddo goes with us. And at almost 3,I don't like to take this kid anywhere that doesn't have carts for him to be confined in..oops..I mean to ride in.
Posted by: contrarychick | November 08, 2005 at 07:42 PM
I'm not going to bring up the oysters and wine because I am a jealous bitch.
but the baby.. the baby!!!
He's so precious. ¡Muy precioso!
Posted by: Big Gay Sam | November 08, 2005 at 08:19 PM
You are officialy famous. I am so jealous! Go Amalah with you cuteness and baby and all. You deserve it :)
Posted by: Ashlie | November 08, 2005 at 08:38 PM
You are too funny! Love this story!
Posted by: Marianne | November 08, 2005 at 10:46 PM
Hey, for the record? I only pressed the button once. I have no idea how Typepad made that into 3 comments. I pressed the button, it timed out, I said "oh well."
Also, I never inhaled.
Posted by: Mir | November 08, 2005 at 10:49 PM
this will go down in history.
most women have at least one moment (or a million) during and after pregnancy when they are completely positive that they will never do anything but mommy things again--not that mommy things aren't important.
but still, here's amalah.
by day, she cleans up baby-or-ceiba puke off her covers and hangs out with her baby in the bathroom with the water running.
by night, she wines and dines with supreme court justices.
girl, you need to stop.
i have no baby, and i have no important dinners.
pretty soon i'll start feeling like i'm not cool enough to read this blog.
except, i'll totally read it anyway.
because it is like crack.
from what i hear.
Posted by: tiffany | November 09, 2005 at 12:42 AM
OMG! I worship at the shrine of Amalah! I totally luurve your blog, totally.
Posted by: Maria | November 09, 2005 at 01:09 AM
Its a Muffin Top... that stuff that falls over the top of your jeans!
This will tell you more
http://www.foxymorons.net/content/dictionary_l-z.htm
(Nothing rude, just an Australian TV comedy that coined the phrase)
Posted by: AR | November 09, 2005 at 02:52 AM
I am going to be very careful. Post once. Evade duplicating TypePad monster on Amy's freelance-writing publishing outlet (aka blog).
I totally concur with Heatherette. It would be kind of funny if you had shouted "Harriet Miers WTF!!" or "Democrats rule okay!!" but oh well, maybe another time.
Noah is gorgeous, your babysitter seems sane, and you will never have to worry about her blogging all your secrets - cos maybe you blog them first! Oh the joy of sharing.
What about the super-prize for guessing Noah's birthday and weight?
Posted by: Sarah King | November 09, 2005 at 06:41 AM
Fun post! But, where are the dress up pics?
Noah gets more adorable each day..
Posted by: Chris | November 09, 2005 at 06:46 AM
OH MI GOD you are so much better than me because after having gone through law school and being forced to read some of his opinions... The Tourettes would have gone to all new DSIII levels!
Nice or not (even I can agree to disagree on points with his super conservative ass) I'd still bitchslap the mutherfucker like shiva with all arms wond up at once for that hell he imposed on me with his jackhole logic.
But really the important part- YEAH for Oysters, YEAH for Wine, YEAH for beinga Mom and YOU too, and YEAH for your celebrity!!
Posted by: stinkerbell | November 09, 2005 at 07:17 AM
I literally snorted when I read the explanation to the picture of Noah. *snort*
Too funny!
Posted by: Dawn | November 09, 2005 at 09:02 AM
(Hee! My daughter just came waltzing up to the computer, all, "bay-bee? Bay-bee?" while grinning at Noah's pictures.)
Since discovering your blog (I am slowly making my way through the archives) and realizing you live here! By me! In DC! AND seeing your repeated mentions of Ann Taylor! my workplace! at White Flint mall, and you know where that is because you live here! by me! In DC! now every time a cute blond woman who looks disgustingly wonderful for having just had a baby comes into my store I'm all, "Is that Amy? I wonder if that's Amy. I wonder if she comes up here, if she enters Bethesda on a regular basis because how cool would it be if I got to WARDROBE AMALAH???"
Ahem. So. If you will be returning to work anytime in the future and you would like to buy new and pretty clothes from our gorgeous holiday line including scrumptious cashmere and did I mention we are right near the Coach store? I would love to dress a bonafide DC-lebrity.
Love the blog. Cutest. Baby Boy. Ever.
Posted by: Jackie Joy | November 09, 2005 at 09:14 AM
seems like you have definitely reached celebrity status. I am going to DC next week and I actually wondered the other day if there is any chance that I would have an "Amalah siting"...haha, see, how much more celebrity could you get :) Your story cracked me up, and Noah is still a precious perfect little baby!
Posted by: Kristen | November 09, 2005 at 10:51 AM
Great post! Sounds like such an exciting night. I went to Old Ebbitt's last week for the first time - we're going back Friday night. Delicious. I'm so jealous of your experience. How cool to be with such a group!
Posted by: Brandi | November 09, 2005 at 04:30 PM
Awesome! ROCK ON!
Posted by: Shiz | November 16, 2005 at 11:25 PM