Babies Are Boring
In Which Words Fail Me

Not So Much Boring As Brain-Numbing Tedium

So one thing was resoundingly clear from your comments: the only thing that is DEFINITELY boring around here is a lack of regular updates.

So I proceeded to not update! At all! Take THAT, loyal readers! Contempt! Fie!

(There is a new Snarkywood, however, which includes about 43 whole words that I wrote.)

(By the way, I really did not write that last entry for "validation" that I am not boring. I KNOW that I am boring. The whole point of that entry was that I ENJOY being boring. That I am FINE with being boring, because it's a FULFILLING kind of boring. Then again, maybe that point got lost because I'm just not a very good writer and I used the word "boring" three hundred thousand times.)

(And now everyone will pile on with the compliments on my writing until someone snarks that GOD, I clearly wrote that just so people would disagree with me, blah blah blah, am so full of myself, and this is why the comments section gives me a headache sometimes.)


Here's the thing: I usually write the bulk of my entries the night before, at home, like a responsible person who does not waste time at work. Then I clean it up, fix my atrocious speling and tpying, drop in some pictures and publish it at some point the next day.

This week, that schedule has not been working, because there have been, no lie, about seventeen hundred hours of new 24 episodes on every night, plus Gilmore Girls (with New Youthful Indiscretion Bastard Daughter v.2), and then Lost, and maybe I occasionally like to sort of watch some American Idol auditions, is that some sort of crime, and Noah needs to have the daycare funksmell scrubbed off him every night, plus cereal and stimulation and a lesson in why Jack Bauer is a really excellent role model in life, and there's also this little thing about how he won't sleep through the night anymore.

Oh NO. Waking up at 3 am every night is MUCH BETTER. And 5 am is also an excellent time to wake up AGAIN, because it's precisely 20 minutes after I've managed to fall back asleep after the 3 am incident, and I am now so damn tired during the day that my eyeballs actually hurt and I'm afraid that an extra-long blink will leave me sprawled facedown in the office hallway, sound asleep.

I swear, the child has been reading too many parenting blogs, because how else would he know that all the other four-month-old babies out there are pulling this same shit? STOP CAVING TO PEER PRESSURE, NOAH. BE YOUR OWN PERSON.



I Photoshopped out his runny nose. That's love, people.

So damn tired.

Anyway, we just had Corporate Love Fest Rah-Rah Day, and there was much love, and many pieces of flair were distributed, and I displayed my mental age by sticking my tongue out at the new employees while they were introduced, including one who may very well blog about it, had he found me amusing or clever or...noticed me doing it at all.

Now there is lukewarm pizza that I am picking the mushrooms off of.

See? Don't you wish I had maybe decided to talk non-stop about the baby instead?

Daycare funksmell? Pshaw. Even my Diaper Genie smells like freshly baked cinnamon buns, for I am that awesome.


I'm adding a midnight feeding tonight, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

All Your Chins Are Belong To Us.



Mushrooms are gross. Noah is beautiful.
Boring is good. So there :)

Jessie Even cold pizza. Stupid diet.

I too have been indulging in fun shows this week. Especially, and I'm not too ashamed to admit it, American Idol auditions. They make me feel better about myself, especially the fact that I'm not delusional.


PSHAW to all the haters! i love your writing, and, being due with my first son on march 10, i know all about being boring and loving it! mommies are boring, and it's the best feeling in the world..


I've been stalking you (read: lurking) for almost a year now, am one of those "Read Your Archives Obsessively, Often Falling Out Of My Chair Onto The Carpet And Oh Shit I Just Spilled My Coffee" people)

Your son is beautiful, your writing is quite wonderful, the funny stuff and the not so funny stuff.

I love it all and thanks for the hair product recommendations. WOO! I finally delurked!

Silly Hily

Any mom can appreciate you being scared to take a long blink for fear of ending up face first asleep in the hallway. So, I sympathize. However, I also laugh my ass off at that mental image! (sorry)


You need to adopt the new mommy sleep / tv schedule. It took me a good 6 months with my first son to figure out that I couldn't watch my shows when I wanted to anymore and I would almost always fall asleep when I tried due to the overnight feedings (and constant ear infections).

So I started taping my shows that were on in the evening and watching them in the wee hours when I was up anyway with the baby. Of course, I am a freelance consultant so I can sleep during the day it is an exceptionally rough night.


Ah yes, the fear of the long blink...been there, done that.

Your son is truly adorable and if I were to ever decide to turn my back on sleeping through the night and having booger free clothing, that face would be the one to blame. Just precious.


I am DYING at the "I'm adding a midnight feeding tonight"!! He looks a bit Winston Churchill-ish in that pic.

And the Snarkywood entry was SPOT ON!! (as the new British Madonna would say).


Dude the chin comment rocks. And yeah it's ok that you like to watch American Idol auditions. They are way funny to watch.


24! Holy crap! I nearly wet myself after the first ten minutes. With every episode, I am reminded that Kiefer Sutherland has the sexiest voice imaginable AND that his quest to get routine sex and A Family To Love will never be fulfilled.


My take on the American Idol thing is that it's okay to watch in an ironic, detached sense. Like, as long as I'm not text messaging in votes, I'm okay.

Because I haven't done THAT in at least two seasons. Okay, maybe one. Shut up.


Oh my goodness, Amalah! He is turning into a BIG BOY... wow, it happens so fast. And what a handsome boy he is!

I don't blame you at all for your inability (or lack of desire) to talk about anything else. I myself am stuck in a constant pattern of talking about pregnancy, food, the baby and nesting. But why talk about anything else? Anything else would just be fake or forced.

Nicole P

He changes so much with each batch of pictures! What a doll! Also loving the midnight feeding picture.


This is my offical delurking. I feel I must comment because I am also exhausted (the eyeball-hurting, god, I'm so fucking tired kind), and I don't even have a four-month old yet. But I am pregnant - 32 weeks pregnant, and apparently third trimester is when all the sleepless-nights hormones decide to kick you in the ass and "prepare" you for motherhood. I say, bullshit, we'll have enough preparation later on. But I've been waking up between 2 and 4 a.m. and not being able to fall back asleep, and, let me repeat, I have no baby yet.

Anyhow, a friend introduced me to you and your blog in October. She had me read your labor story, part 1 (obviously to scare the bejesus out of me), and I've been hooked ever since. Also bought a Coach bag recently and LOVE it.

Thank you for being funny and often making my (otherwise exhausting) day.


the child, his expressions are fantastic! ;)

Lisa V

Re:Gilmore Girls, we love the show. We love it so much we are going to change the children's names to Kirk and Suki (or maybe just the pets). Anyway I am scared that introduction of Luke's kid may mean the show has jumped the shark. It's always the sign of a sagging show to introduce a precocious kid. Plus what is all this made up soap opera weirdness between Luke and Lorelai ? We have to keep them star-crossed tortured lovers ? Can't Rory and Logan or Jess or Dean or whoever take this role, and let L and L be married and funny.


You're a mommy now. And things are just different when You become a Mommy. Just like there's less sex and less sleep and now? Less Internet. There's Noah. And for anyone that requires an explanation won't understand even when you give the best explanation of Wonderful Parental Tedium that I've ever read.


All Your Chins Are Belong To Us.



Oh my god- Lost! I can't even stand it, I just love that show. I keep telling my unborn daughter (due in April) that if she decides to come on a Wednesday night that is ok because we now have Tivo now, thank the lord, but before we would have excommunicated her from the family (obvious exaggeration of course)

V. cute baby boy you have there!


that double chin is awesome!


I'm sorry I keep bringing this up, but that left dimple just SLAYS ME. Murderously cute, if you rather.


The only thing better than the pictures are the captions.


Oh my gosh I thought I was the only one who obsessively washes the daycare funk off my son when we get home at night! Daycare funk is the worst!


That midnight feeding picture is by far the funniest thing I've seen all week.


Washington Post article that made me think of you:

"Council Mulls the Cherry as District's Official Fruit"


I love your pictures and captions best of all. MAN is he cute. And quite witty, I might add.


Have you been so tired that you have started crying at the thought of the 3 a.m. feeding? Heh, just wait. :-) But he will eventually learn to sleep all the way through the night like every other child, and then you will only be lamenting the fact that your child gets up at 6 a.m. every day of the week (darn it, why can't you distinguish between Sunday and Wednesday?) But anywho.

I am LOVING the midnight feeding photo. :-)


I don't have a child of my own so I can objectively say that Noah is, in fact, the most adorable baby in the world.

How you have not devoured him completely is beyond me.


24, Gilmore Girls, Lost- That's our tv weekly line up, too. Lost is bugging the poodoo out of me, though. TELL US SOMETHING! Quit dragging the weirdness out further and further without any "Ah-ha" moments for us. Polar bears? Black horses? Smokey Dragons? Make some sense already. Gah.

mommy speak

Sounds like Noah's on the road to get his feedings at night from you instead of during the day --cause he likes you better ;)

Don't know how you feel about CIO, but you might be seriously looking into soon. Am I not just a ray of sunshine? Anyway, I'll bet he's even cuter at midnight anyway right?


Sleep deprivation. Does. Not. End. EVER. So sorry if you did not already know that.

On a positive note - your captions under (beautiful, adorable) Noah's photos are dead on and make me laugh out loud. I did the same thing with my son's baby photos. Good luck with the middle of the night feedings - hopefully the cereal will start to help!


"All Your Chins Are Belong To Us."

Besides being a completely adorable picture, I have to say: LOL! I love any reference on that line. ;)

And yeah, that'd be the four month growth spurt, right on schedule. Hope sleep returns soon.


I, too, love the midnight feeding photo.
Wait until he is 16, though, and excoriating you for not having Bagel Bites in the freezer for him and six of his Clean-Plate Ranger friends.
And then he sleeps until noon.


It would probably be awfully rude of me to note that my kid slept through the night from the time we brought him home and never stopped, right?

It would probably be a big fat lie, too. Good luck with the sleep.

Please tell Noah that I might have an extra chin around here that he's welcome to.


I did the whole waking up at 3 and 5 AM routine while trying to maintain my sanity and keep my job for about six months. By then my heart had solidified into a tiny enough lump of coal that I was finally ready to let the little bugger cry it out. This next baby won't be so lucky, I can tell you that much.


Aw, I love his chins.
All four of them.
So adorable.


Well, Amy, I almost posted yesterday to say that you are by no means boring. But now I am afraid you will think I am just trying to make you feel better about being boring, which I am not. But even if you were boring (which you are not) I would still read every blessed post you write because they are just so dang good, even if they are boring, which they are not.

(Does your head hurt from that? Sorry. Just pretend I was drunk when I wrote it, which I am not, but would like to be!)

for Joke!

Wait! My Brain is hurting!! "All Your Chins Are Belong To Us" That's a pop culture reference but for the life of me I cant remember from what and now my brain will itch until I know and SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE!!!


Here's the Wiki entry for All Your Base Are Belong To Us.

Also known as an Internet phenomenon from 2001, because I give you TIMELY HUMOR, PEOPLE.


I have felt like I've done nothing productive this week precisely because of 24 and Gilmore Girls and even, yes I'll say it out loud, Beauty and the Geek.

I'm in love with all the silly faces that Noah makes. I bet you'd have enough to do a face-of-the-day. :)


The baby jowls just KILL me! And i'm sure i'm a huge geek but I laughed at the All Your Base reference. Because I too enjoy timely internet humour.


Ah, but how can you remain detached when you see cute little Colorado cowboys--THREE GENERATIONS OF COWBOYS--who can't remember to speak for the love of God and then open their mouth and sound rather like Elton John going through puberty?? How do you not sob convulsively when Paula says NO?? How do you not jump for joy when Randy and SIMON of all people say YES?? And then cry some more, for he is soooo happy!!

Or maybe I am a little hormonal right now...


Oh Rapture! How I had missed hearing about the corporate love ra-ra fest! Giggles! And that made me laugh that much harder at "all your chins are belong to us"

Thanks for making me smile (and convincing me I should step away from the live journal and buy my own site. Which I have.)


Just watched the video you linked to above --!! Thanks for something so priceless!


Also? I am actually sad that I DIDN'T watch the american idol auditions. I heard all about the girl with the tan and am kicking myself for missing that!

Nothing But Bonfires

Man, I wish all his chins are belong to me.

He's gorgeous.


...that was very close to bare-assed naked.
this is your second warning.


Your captions are hilarious but the faces sure fit them! I can't believe some of the faces he makes, it's almost like a completely different look every pic you've posted. Cute!


I'm so glad you linked to that Wikipedia page for that quote, because I say it all the time and my husband thinks I'm making it up.

Also, my 2 month old daughter? Gets up at 4:00am, drinks a bottle, falls back asleep at 4:30, and then wakes up at 5:30am. It's just long enough for me to get back to sleep and then feel like shit when I have to wake up again.

Noah is so cute in all those pictures. I especially like the open-collared shirt in the bottom two. Very casual.


Teach him well about Jack Bauer.


Amazing how fulfilling being boring as hell can be one the little grunions enter your once exciting world huh? He will again sleep through the night, it just may not be anytime soon, so, uh, GOOD LUCK!


You need to have Noah call up my Kimberly. There is some chatting to be done about this night waking business. Apparently they like the blink and fall asleep mommy thing. I am not a fan really.

My official de-lurking to tell you that you are officially the funniest person on the planet. Officially. You should get an award or something. It's um, in the mail. Or something.
You rock. But you probably already knew that :)


Yes, I am still feeling pretty resentful towards the &*#$ producers over at Fox for thinking that a FOUR hour premiere was such a great idea. I am still feeling even MORE resentful of those oh so NICE bloggers who decided to discuss the episodes without yelling "Spoiler" first. I hate to say it, but Zoot herself completely spoiled the supposedly incredible first 15 minutes. I will never know whether it was truly that shocking or not. Sigh.

re: Sleeping - I'm still all over that co-sleeping. Yeah, baby! I THINK my kid still gets up in the night, but am not quite sure because I just roll over, nurse him, then roll back over. LOL :-)


Co-sleeping is a great thing. Except now I have a 6 mo old to pull my hair, poke my eye, smack my face... Since when did that become the way to wake someone? LOL
But snuggling is the best :) Sleeping is too of course.


Sleep. Every once in a while I almost remember what it was like to go to bed at night and not wake up again until I felt like it. Almost.

S. Faolan Wolf

I cannot get over the wonderful faces Noah makes...his! Today's favorite pic is the second to last one.

My all time fav is still the one where he's sitting on someone's right knee.'s a do you watch Gilmore Girls AND AI when they both come on the same night? At least that's the schedule here...Tuesday at 8pm. Both! I could watch one and record the other if I wasn't at work during both of them! GAH! Am so far behind on GG..have to wait for more DVDs to come out.

Is that what tivo is for? Does it record two at the same time? Anyone? Amalah? Bueller?


"All Your Chins Are Belong To Us." is probably one of the most smilenest things I've heard (read) today. xoxo


I was reading the last post, and because I work at a day care I know all the lovely little words to "The Wheels on the Bus" and the daddies say... "I love you".
And frankly I enjoy your site a lot, mostly the photoblogs of that adorable baby.


1) Noah. So cute.

2)You don't like mushrooms on your pizza? That totally surprised me.


Yay! Update! Because, after I finished the archives, I have been knocking around the internet looking for something else to read.

And a new Snarkywood? Joy!

Thank you thank you thank you!


I swear, I emailed a picture of Bradley to my friends with the caption "All your rolls are belong to us." Precious! :)

What are Noah's stats these days?


If you have one Tivo it only records one program at a time (at least the Tivo I have) BUT- you can record one thing on the Tivo while watching another through your regular cable box, tv, what have you.
It is amazing after you have Tivo that you could have ever gone without it!


he will start sleeping again but it might really take a while. e just started to at 9 months, and still wakes up for a 5am feed. which is why I am reading you at six... good luck! and pshaw to the haters!


YES!!! I was very amused. I almost died trying to keep in my laughter though.

At least I kept my speech short!!!


I am addicted to your writing and your baby.
Thank you so much for providing a mental breaks in my day.

You know, if you were to commit to this for, say a long, long while, it would be like the Truman Show. Only I would call it something like "Noahlah on Parade". Anyway, point is, stick a Coca-Cola in his hands, make his first words be "Sephora makes mommy happy", and you've got yourself a million dollar baby! (He's worth a million just the way he is. But a college fund doesn't hurt either!)

Laura B

I feel obligated to let you know that I bought a Coach purse because of you. Am such a follower! I have always been a Kate Spade girl and never paid much attention to Coach, but since I started reading your site I suddenly find myself wanting Coach bags. I bought the Signature Hamptons Business Tote and I LOVE it! Thank you for addicting me not just to your site but to Coach, too. My husband is not happy. :)


They should have at least made an effort to make the new gilmore girl young and funny and not just sort of precocious (how do you spell that dang word anyway?) and strange...

noah is darling...per usual!


Let me first are not at all boring. At least, I hope you aren't..because that would make me ultra-boring..since I LIVE for your updates.

Second..what is this 3am madness? Did I miss something..I THOUGHT HE WAS SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT?!? (That kept me sane..knowing that my 8-week old daughter will someday do the I'm crushed...). AAGH!


Noah looks like he is saying, "Smell my heavenly feet mom."


You've got THE BEST captions on Noah's pictures. Keep 'em coming.


What are these Coach bags you speak of?


I know it says comments and NOT "questions", but I have to ask you this: Does it get easier to leave Noah at daycare? And just one more...are the formula supplementations at day care causing any ill effects that you have noticed? I ask because I share these woes..or soon will and I just GOTTA KNOW!

reassurance needed...



Love him. Love his chins. Love his turtleness.


Mandy - check your email momentarily.


Oooh- another great show...Has anyone seen Runway Moms? I am addicted! I tape and watch at 5:15 am (yes in the morning) before my toddler wakes up. I have convinced myself that I was in fact as cute as them when I was pregnant.


At least he's sort of getting down a normal schedule. Before you know it, he'll be sleeping through the night on a regular basis.

Jackie Joy

"Runway Moms"..? You jest, right? They are pregnant and they are modelling?
Dude. If I had modelled while pregnant, my hairy, translucent, pudgy legs would've scared anyone off!

"All your chins are belong to us" is the sole reason I am hoping for another child. This one simply does not have enough CHINS.

At White Flint, there is a Mommy Boot Camp, where 90-pound yuppy moms do lunges in the mall and run around with their strollers trying to fit back into a Bebe double-0. I am sure that you could turn this into a hilarious blog entry, whereas I just can't get over the fact that they do that. In public. Twice a week. So. Come for a visit. I will dress you in the Spring line at Ann Taylor and we will mock the running moms together!


I need to cave to peer pressure and start watching "24". I hear it's good. Huh..who knew?

E-gads...I hope he starts sleeping better.

And the daycare funk? I don't think I can handle that. Yuck.


I need to cave to peer pressure and start watching "24". I hear it's good. Huh..who knew?

E-gads...I hope he starts sleeping better.

And the daycare funk? I don't think I can handle that. Yuck.

Mama C-ta

Uh that face of his. You should be greatful he's adding more nightwakings so you can stare at it. Shame on you for wanting sleep to feel human and function in a semi-respectable way. (Sarcasm) Except for the fact he is damn cute.


i too have used the noseball. on myself. and wow, do they have a reason to cry.

that said, its normal for your kid to be waking up for night feedings, he is growing, probably needs more solids. don't know how old he is, but my son was eating a bit of oatmeal at 3 months just so he would only wake up twice at night. thats right, twice. now, he is seven years old and stands up to my shoulders, and i'm 5'4". he apparently just needed to grow. heh he also had 10 teeth at 10 months, cut the first one at 3 weeks (doctor went "oh its a false tooth, it will fall out" 2 weeks later, another tooth, doctor puts her finger in his mouth, "oh my god" me... "I TOLD YOU! its like breast feeding a pirahna!)

seriously. more solid food. hehe. unless the child is around 6 months or so, he could be getting teeth/more teeth and waking up for the momma pacifier. could be worse.. could be the husband waking you up in the middle of the night.


Noah is so, so cute.


Holy Cow! The cutensss, it is blinding.


OMG, the second picture? With Noah saying "Pshaw?" Freaking hilarious.

And love the new Snarkywood. Hate Madonna. Hate.


Are all the 4 month old babies of the world conspiring on the extra midnight feeding? Damn!

Have I told you how wicked Noah is? I think have, but will again... WICKED CUTE!


Are his eyes brown? I can't really tell from the pics. His eyes could be orange with purple stripes, and he would still be the cutest little thing East of the Mississippi. (Only because Princess Nursalot is the cutest thing West of it). His little face is so expressive. And I apologize...I think my Ali may have emailed Noah to tell him about the four-month-old partyallnightlong thing. She did it too...the little fart.

Thanks for stopping by our blog!

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