Number Five
Mercury Retrograded

Oh, the Litigations You'll See

I have so very many stories to tell y'all, including stories about:

1) Why Law & Order is a big lying pile of shit,
2) The bathing habits of the DC citizenry, like, DUDES,
3) Toe vs. Vacuum Cleaner (advantage: Hoover),
4) Why I am an idiot, part 3290084334686423, and
5) Why "Is there a certified locksmith on staff?" should be one of your top questions when interviewing daycare providers.

(Edited later because apparently, numbering five different items properly is really, really hard. Wouldn't you want me on a jury of your peers?)

But I cannot tell any of them now, as I am back to court today to mete out harsh and totally-not-swift justice. Bah.

However, I do think this hat may be violating some kind of cuteness statute.


Have a good day, pretty people, spay and neuter your pets, and please remember to keep your handguns licensed and registered.



DANG... what a weekend you must've had!! :)


Yippee! I'm first!

Love the little guy's hat. Love. It.


Do not try to attempt Toe Vs. Dresser either, because HOLY SWOLLEN FOOT. Thank God it will be 80 degrees in DC today and I don't have to stuff my swollen sausage foot into a boot!

Love the gangsta hat effect on Noah. Now THERE'S a guy who belongs in DC court today!


Can't wait to hear the stories!

Love the hat, love the deer-in-the-headlights stare at the camera.


Oh, dear Lord - that sounds like you're having, er, fun in court. I hope it's over soon.

And Noah looks so adorable! And girl, I love your hair!


That pic is just too cute! I want that hat, dammit! (Does it come with the handsome turtle baby?)

Did I tell you I hate jury duty? That means less Amalah anecdotes, people! The pain! The suffering! I. WANT. FUNNY. ANECDOTES.

And on another note, I still haven't been able to watch the video. Damn bandwidth.


Looking forward to the delightful, detailed stories regarding DC's finest.
In the meantime - that hat, on that face on that little peanut is pretty darn cute!


How in the world did you get picked? Didn't you try the whole"I'm breast feeding thing"?


Aww that picture is so cute! Makes me want one!


I'd like to order one hat, complete with attached impossibly cute Noah-baby! Very nice.

And we're anxiously awaiting the locksmith/daycare story (?!), I might add.

Good luck to you and to all charged, yet not yet convicted, criminals in the judicial system today.

I suggest carrying a perfume-drenched hankie to pretend to wipe your nose in order to discreetly block the wafting odor of unwashed filth. Works like a charm.


The best thing about this post (aside from Noah, who is a given), is your lunatic numbering system. Hope jury duty is brief and toe is better.


What a gorgeous picture of you both!


Amalah, I am no longer drunk and weepy due to being asked to resign. In fact, I am in a POWER position, since I don't think they can fire me, suckahs!!
That said, (cause believe it or not, it's NOT all about me all the time), So so sorry about your toe, and so so sorry about jury duty as well!!


Is that a frog on the hat or...?


Just when I thought that boy couldn't get any cuter, you go and put a hat on him and he just reaches another level of cuteness.


If you were also wondering about toe versus bed post at 6:45am on a Sunday morning- the bed post seriously wins. and decding to hit the bed post screaming at it "bad bed post" isn't very smart either.


Sounds like you have a few interesting stories. Noah's hat? Adorable!


I can't wait to hear funny stories! I love your numbering system, b/c I think you did that on purpose! And we'll all find out just why just as soon as all the baddies are locked up. Just *love* the little striped pants on Noah!


You got the Gymboree Frog hat! I'm interested to see the rest of his new wardrobe.

Bozoette Mary

Register the handgun, huh? Well, damn.


Can't wait to hear stories number 1 thru, umm, the meantime I'll stare at Noahbaby. Sigh...

Vaguely Urban

Seeing that picture, I thought, "why is Amy holding some little boy on her lap?" Then: "Whoa."
That cap makes Noah looks so grown up! Freaky deak.


Now I totally see that Noah looks like you. :)


Yep, when I was the foreman (yes, foreman) of a jury at 21, the first thing I thought watching L&O and the like was: WHO TAKES NOTES? NO ONE TAKES NOTES ON A JURY! Have the writers of those shows even BEEN in a courtroom? We were more likely to fall asleep than to take notes.


duh people, it's obvious why she got picked for JD. suuuuure, the drawing of her name to begin with is tied into the dmv system, but hello? once the judge people (?) saw it was THE amy storch, they HAD to pick her. just to have a celebrity be forced to hang out with them :P


wait, I'm sorry -- I was sidelined by the amalah's beautiful hair. [noah's cuteness goes without saying, of course]. You were saying?


Oh, how you tease us with the simple words, locksmith and daycare providers. Can't wait for the full story.

You should think about patenting the adorableness that is Noah. The hat, it kills me.


I do enjoy being selected for juries but it can be a pain in the neck, especially for a SAHM who needs to find childcare for 3. I can't wait to hear about your trial. And also all those stories!! My firstborn (he's almost 9 now)lost the battle between finger and vaccuum -- not, he didn't lose his finger, just got his first boo-boo. But hey, not long after that he lost his head/dining room chair battle and wound up with 2 stitches at 8 months.


Kid got locked in daycare??? I saw a news story not that long ago where a kid got locked in daycare. Are you on THAT jury? Oh, I know you can't say, but blink twice for yes, ok???

How exciting!!!


There is the makings of so many good t-shirt slogans in this post...


God, your hair looks so damn pretty.


Toe vs. Treadmill didn't go well at all...A month later I'm still bruised.

and that picture is ADORABLE!!

Nothing But Bonfires

Oh, the hat! It makes me want to buy a newspaper from him! In the 30s! And I want him to call me "guv"!

Adorableness. Seriously.

Hannah B.

Oooh, Baby Gap. I'm not allowed to go in there anymore. I just get overwhelmed by the cuteness.


Are you gonna pay for me to neuter my dog, bee eye tee see aitch?

God, that boy, he gets cuter everytime I see him.

(p.s. you think you invented baby gap.)

Tricia Bailey

Oh dear god. My uterus actually hurts. Noah should star in the new HGTV show I Want That!


Word up, baby! So totally cute!


So, Law and Order's crap, but Perry Mason's dead on, right?


call the cute police.
I believe we have a petit violator.


aww! the face! the hat! the sweater! the FEET matching hat! It's too much. My son Gavin is a few weeks older than Noah - can't get enough of the little hats.


oh, almost forgot!! sorry about your toe. but the equation of clumsy boyfriend's big toe + big rock sitting under living room table = big appreciative giggles from the girlfriend. just so you know :P


Did you dye your hair? It looks like its a different color.

Ps. Pretty sure Noah is the cutest thing ever.


I think the whole outfit looks cute on him! Hope your having a lovely day in court!


Law and Order is a bunch of shit. I practiaclly had to arm wrestle this lady in my jury to be foreman, and then i didn't even get to read the verdict in front of everyone! All i did was hand it to the baliff. BORING!


I really don't appreciate all of y'all destroying my illusions about L & O. Can't a girl have anything??

For the record? Toe versus anything? Toe loses. You could stub your toe on a pillow and somehow it would feel as though your toe were being ripped off by fluffy clouds of feathery goodness. Toes are wimps.

Oh, and in case no one has mentioned it yet, your kid is awfully cute. And big.


Woah mama!! Buff Arms!!!

You are lookin good girl!


Have you become a strawberry blonde? Because it's really becoming on you. And the hat? What a stud.


Of course L&O is a lying pile of shit. THAT'S WHY I WATCH.


Of course L&O is a lying pile of shit. THAT'S WHY I WATCH.


Would you please tell the judge that there are people out there, all over the world, who are going through withdrawl because you don't have the time to write long posts? If I go out and committ a crime during withdrawl do you think that I could use the Amalah defense? And could Jesse Martin investigate my case please?


Your hair! It is long(er)! (Looks great!) Baby N is of course as cute as ever.


I've been summoned to jury duty twice and both times all I had to do was call the Court Clerk and say I had an infant to take care of and I was immediately excused. DC courts are just mean!

Your hair is beautiful in that photo. No wonder people ask you for advice on hair-care products. And Noah is as adorable as always. LOVE the hooded sweatshirt.


Damn you to hell.

I just purchased the same hat for my own progeny and was going to post a pic this week, but of course, now I will just look like a lame hanger-on. The very same lame, hanger-on that I actually AM, of course..........

(P.S. Is it fashionably appropriate to mix Gymboree and Baby Gap? Inquiring minds wanna know.)

Real Girl

Yay. Finally, a picture of you looking cute along with your cutie.

As for Law & Order, I--like every New Yorker--have seen it filming twice. If it were real? It would come with the yummy looking Kraft Services table. Which I totally, TOTALLY would have stolen from had there been fewer people around.


I swear, you bring him to the beach, fifteen seconds, he's gone, off your hands. I promise I don't know who would have taken his amazingly cute self. And then you can split rum drinks with me. And Noah will be mine, all-tequila-drunk-mine.


Amy--you should start a frappr map! Also--love the blog--you're a good writer! :)


Oh, I can't wait to hear all about court.

My boss is on jury duty this week also and called to tell me how exciting it is. I think his exact words were, "this trial has everything!".

Why do we love to see babies in hats so much? Oh right, because it's freakin' cute!!


Also, I love the way images of Bob Barker from The Price Is Right were automatically envoked (for me anyway) with the "spay and neuter your pets" comment. :) You'd think that after eighty bazillion years of hosting that show he'd get a new catch phrase on which to end it. But I suppose, if it ain't neutered, don't fix it! Or, you know, do!



there is advertising on the baby



Your hair looks awesome! Can't wait to read the post jury duty entry...#5 especially. I feel kind of jilted as I realized you did not have time to expand on this. What's up with that??


fucking court system...set Amalah FREE!! We the people need to hear stories from the weekend and the trial! We need more pictures of Noah! We need haircare and skincare advice, damn it! Do I need to come down and picket the courthouse?

Mama C-ta

I've been on a hunt for a stylin hat for Cricket now that he's outgrowing his killer Appaman military hat. Where ever did you find that??


The hat is from Gymboree. They also have a bunch of frog related outfits that are on sale right now.

Wicked Stepmom

My curiosity is piqued! I love cliffhangers. ;)


Is it wrong that I read that "handbags" instead of "handguns"?

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