Things I Will Miss, Part 3

Hello! Go Away! Come Back on Monday!

A comment from Tuesday's post:

You really CAN'T afford to stay home, so stop acting like it. You're going to have to make huge sacrifices that will stress you out even MORE than when you were dropping your kid off at daycare. Tell the truth: you got fired and now you are pretending to freelance when all the while you're shitting yourself because you can't live off of one salary.
Good luck.

Ha! Quite a refreshing change from the good old days of Laura and her snippity preachiness about how I could TOTALLY afford to stay home if my husband and I stopped eating out so damn much, or you know, just stopped eating altogether.

No! Now I am poor and a liar and EVEN WORSE, have developed some rather distressing problems with my bowels.

(Helpful Hints for Trolls! Guess what! When you comment, I get your IP address, and then I can see allllll the other comments you've left from that IP address, especially the one where you used your real email address, asked me to visit your real blog and mentioned what real blogging friend of mine is a real friend of yours, and really, you gave me a terrific laugh right there, so thanks, dumbass.)

(I visited your blog! And it was very funny. Especially the part where the very first thing I read was a whole rant about "I reserve the right to publish any email you send me along with your email address blah blah blah." Oh! The irony!)

(I am bigger than that. I am ABOVE THAT. But...you know. Tempting.)


This post is not about the troll, because honestly that is just about the stupidest comment I have ever gotten, and almost makes me wonder if she was just trying to be funny or something, because...huh? Like I would not admit if I got my ass fired? Like I would not JUMP at the chance to  have a public hysterical freak-out of that caliber just to save my pride?

People, I have told you about my cervical mucus. I mean. Come on.


MY POINT IS: I am not fired nor am I making the freelancing shit up, because my first regular gig (gig! I have gigs!) starts on Monday, when I will start posting for ClubMom as their Round-Up Blog Editor for the Round-Up Blog that Rounds-Up Mom Blogs and Blogs About the Best of Mom Blogs in a Round-Up Blogging Fashion.

If you read a lot of other blogs of the mothering kind, you have probably noticed a few people mentioning that they've been chosen by ClubMom to blog about various parenting-related topics. My job is basically to read what they write and then tell you to go read it too. And yes, they are paying me money for this. MONEY. TO READ BLOGS. BLAWWWGS.

I think the Round-Up Blogger is supposed to be some kind of community-building den-mother type to all the bloggers of the world, but I prefer to think of myself as a TERRIFYING BLOGGING OVERLORD.


Everybody Else: Um. Fuck you.

Amy: Fu-...oh. Um...you go away! You go away and go eat some dirt!

(There is no cursing on the Round-Up Blog. No cursing! This is pretty much the biggest challenge of my entire writing career.)


I'll be posting to this blawwwg a minimum of five times a week (mmmmm, contractually-obligated goodness) (and mmmmmm, part-time babysitter) and I'll be telling dumb stories about dumb things that I do that are dumb and also! TALKING ABOUT YOUR BLOGS. Yes, yours!

I promise you it will be fun, and holy mother of blogs, you better leave me a comment today with your URL so I won't run out of material after three days. I'm basically be creating and surfing the biggest, fattest blogroll of mom blogs, mom-to-be blogs, wannabe-mom blogs and maybe even some dad blogs, because I am CRAZY like that. ClubMom clearly has no idea what a rebel they hired.

And no, ClubMom co-founder Andrew Shue has not called me and I don't have his email address, which fine, I HAD VERY IMPORTANT QUESTIONS ABOUT MELROSE PLACE THAT AREN'T ANSWERING THEMSELVES OVER HERE, BUT WHATEVER.

Also, I am still waiting for Meredith Viera to offer me her spot on The View, but I am positive that's coming any time now. In fact, I better go check the fax machine again. Sometimes stuff falls off the tray.

So the fun starts on Monday, and then, oh but then, I will be announcing even MORE FUN STUFF on Wednesday, which...gee...Wednesday. Didn't something used to happen semi-regularly around here on Wednesdays? Hmmm, I can't quite seem to recall.



The troll WAS partly right. We still eat out at restaurants, but are now too poor to afford a second glass of wine for the baby.


Or real tissues, apparently. Gross, self.



I'm mom with a blog, but I'm not sure it's a mom blog. Anyways Congrats on the new job!!


A mom with a blog counts! Honestly, with five entries a week I'll accept blogs with a mom.


I hate the word FUCKTARD. However it must be stated that the hateful blogger who said that crap to you was indeed a FUCKTARD. Best wishes for all your gigs!!!


ok, somehow I'm new to reading your blog - even though I spend hours on my ass reading mommyblogs and other piss on the web. And gotta say - I LOVE YOU! well, don't know you, but your blog - your blog rocks! congrats on the new gig - I'll check it out.


Wow. You don't get to curse anymore?


Y from the internet

Oh man, you WIN. I was so going to call you out for not giving me credit for BLAWWWWG. DAMN YOU.

And also, DAMN YOU for being "The Bigger Person".

It would be SO much funner if you were The Little Person.

I still think you're not really Amalah, but a 12 year old with acne.



God, you would so fucking rock on The View

Heather B.

Not cursing might be fun. Kind of like that whole pointy things in your eyes, that you mentioned before.

Have fun with your new found (albeit ficticious)gigs!


Happy plurals to you, Amy. GigS are indeed wonderful.

Nicole P

Woohoo for you! I'm not a mommy but enjoy the hilarity of many of the mommy blogs I've found through your site (I think I found you through that food guide thingie). My first visit to your site was on Crunchy Toast Point Nipple Day, so I've passed whatever mommy blog initiation trial there is as I wasn't even phased by CTPN Day. Am a freakin' pro.

It will be more fun to see you make up new words to avoid the curse words. Instead of a Meat Club verbal volley, everyone can come up with non-cursing curse words!


This ClubMom stuff starts on Monday? Dude, I had no idea. I think I've already been fired. Did you fire me? TELL THE TRUTH, YOU FIRED ME, and now you're just...uh, pretending! To, um, shit yourself?


I bet the part time babysitter you hired is really really awesome. And super lucky. And gets to be drooled upon by the most adorable schmoopie in the world.

And, just thought you'd like to know that you are the winner of the "First Blog to Ever Make Kirsten Laugh Out Loud" award, with the winning phrase being "Terrifying Blogging Overlord." I wish I was an overlord.

I'll be back Sunday. Maybe we can drink some wine-age.


You probably already know about Babes in Blogland, yes? No? Well, here's the link just in case:


Lots of moms-to-be and moms with blogs! Tons!

Congrats on the new gig!


Congrats on your gig! I am a non-mom with a blog :P I think my mom reads it, does that count? Yeah... I didn't think so....

Although if you're really 12 years old, then I guess you're not a mom either. Ha ha!

step one: make up fictitious baby.
step two: ???
step three: profit!


In that first picture Noah sure looks like he could use another glass of wine...

Hopefully you'll have so many gigs you'll get to be picky! Then you truly will be the BLOGGING OVERLORD!!!


Sorry to burst your View bubble, dearest Amy, but it looks like the gig's gone to Rosie.

But you totally would have ROCKED!


Never heard of Club Mom but will check it out. The View hired Rosie O'Donnell. I am not home to watch it so I have no opinion about it. I am too busy DVR'ing Runway Moms, Top Chef and What Not to Wear.

It is a sad state when I can't stay up past 9 pm to actually watch the shows.

So how was Two Amy's? I have not been there since we moved to the Kensington burbs.


Wait... wait... does this mean no more cursing at ALL? But I rely on your unique sense of the blue side of English for some of my biggest held-in-because-I'm-at-work-and-definitely-shouldn't-be-reading-blogs-especially-blogs-that-have-nothing-to-do-with-anyone-I-know-or-any-of-my-clients laughs. (Clearly I'm not a mom, since this is, like, a BIG deal to me.)


I'm so very sorry, but I heard Rosie is replacing Meredith on the view. You didn't want to sit with those harpies, anyway. It would seriously eat into your "Starting Over" watching.

Wish I had a blog for you. I mean.. don't get me wrong, I *have* a blog (hello. I'm 30 and live in the US. It's a requirement of law), but I simply have a very loudly ticking biological clock, a man who can't commit, and plans to steal your adorable child with the large feet.

Um... I didn't say that last one out loud, did I? ;)


P.S. When are you going to be "today's featured mom" on the clubmom home page? Because, seriously, when that day comes I'm thinking it'll be the pinnacle of your career. :)


Hah! Helpful Hints for Trolls!
*more tears of laughter*


totally awesome!!! congrats on the gig!


how about a blog about 15 weeks worth of bedrest BEFORE the transition into mommy-bloghood?!


Congrats on the new job! It sounds like a slice of heaven...


i'm a mom with a blog...

did i just write that.

be nice, please :)


I'm a wanna-be mom! I'm already a sorta-mom. TO MY DOG!


Ouch! Baby teeth draw blood from nasal passages?

note to self: do NOT let future someday baby knaw on nose when teeth come in.

Bozoette Mary

I am a mom, but my baby is all grown up. And a cop. In Ocean City! But sometimes I write in my blog about how weird that is, especially considering that my husband and I were hippies. (Hmm. I will have to post some of the mom-related entries from my dear departed former Diary-X diary.)


But just think... if you stop eating then you'll stop pooping and think of all the money you'll save on toilet paper.

Oh, and if you got fired, then you'd get unemployment. Which equals money in the bank. Or money to buy food and toilet paper. Whichever.

Congrats on the gigs. I'm looking forward to you saying a lot of "FRICK!"s.


Kudos on the Club Mom gig. It sounds pretty perfect.

(Also, you can't win with trolls, you could be Mother Theresa of Blogland and giving away your last bread to Those Less Fortunate and they would tell you you have Stupid Hair and Ulterior Motives)


It's entirely possible that I'm reading too much into your words, but...could it be that Wednesday's announcement will have something to do with the much-missed (by me...and many others, I'm sure) Wednesday Advice Smackdown? Maybe? Possibly? Because that would be ever so exciting. I heart the Smackdown. I miss the Smackdown. Smackdown, come baaaaaaack.....!


Whatever. You're not a mom. You're not a freelancer. You are really Andrew Shue, aren't you? This is all just a clever ruse to get use to go to your "ClubMom" site - or whatever you, Mr. Shue, call it.

We see through your blogging disguise.


I usually try not to be a pimp for my own blog in the comments of others, but you know, you told me to. And I'm a people-pleaser and all. So, here! lakelinesthoughts.com

I talk quite a bit about pregnancy (and the subsequent Kidney Stones of Death), but when I'm not doing that you also might get some babbling about dogs, Chicago, baseball, and homebrewing. Speaking of which, does Noah like beer? I'll totally send him a bottle of our last award-winner.


I first started reading you when someone linked to your cookbook review over on Dave Barry's blog. I was hooked from there.

How COOL is it that someone is going to pay you to entertain us? Pretty damned cool.

By the way, and I tried not to say it, but Y thinks she invented 1-900 numbers.


Congratulations Amy! I'm glad that you were in a position where you were able to make a choice about what you wanted to do (not what you should do or what you had to do but what you wanted to do - big difference there huh?). I hope you love every minute of it. But, um, when he hits like 16 months or so? You will need a nap every day. Man my kid runs fast on those little short legs. What's up with that?


I have blog. And I'm a mom. An ARMY mom. Whodr husband will be going to WAR on TUESDAY.

Read me. There will be tears and leeeetle insanity.

(But wait until Tuesday 'cause the stuff that's up there now really sucks. :))


Yeah, I was sad when I saw the "job openings" for ClubMom's topical blogs.

Because they didn't have one for "mom with chip on her shoulder and propensity for mental breakdowns ... very subjective and often irrational."

I was bummed.

Congrats to you on the fake freelancing. If the income it was bringing you weren't fake, I would be extremely, extremely jealous.




Yeah! I'm so happy to hear about your latest endeavors. When I see a new post on my bloglines I'm always excieted.
So it would be great for you to check out my blogging effort. My daughter will be turning two soon and I'll finally reveal my birth story (I know you are on the edge of your seat now!). Take care of that sweet boy of yours!


And who can't type. That supposed to be "whose" not "whodr".

Although. . .I do have nice whodrs.


I've been reading you for ages, and am so excited for you. I'm also a mom with a blog, although the posts are semi all over the place topic wise, so I don't know if that counts.

Again, congrats!


Congrats on the new gig! And yay for more exciting announcements to come. Unfortunately, I don't have a mom blog. Although mine is quickly turning into a dog-mommy blog.


Look here, terrifying blog overlord, I'm not scared of you.

I have a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old.

The only thing that scares me is getting pregnant again.


I'm not a mommy, but I am a blogger, and will probably end up a mommyblogger if I become a mom while I still have a blog.

Does that make sense?

Or are you all, "Dumbass. Unless you have a child, YOU ARE NOT HELPING."

Well! I can get one! Or borrow a friend's! Or lose my sanity by getting knocked up by a greasy wannabe rap artist! And going barefoot in washrooms!

Which actually, in case y'all didn't know, is how people actually DO get pregnant.


Will you still get to curse on YOUR blog? Because I so admire and enjoy your abundant use of the "f" word.


I don't usually pimp out my blog, but see, I was a freaking runner-up for the Clubmom blogs (I got the "we like you but we like these people better" email), and of course, not that I really care, but you know, if you wanted to mention me at some point, I'd at least feel a little justifed. Heh.


"Wannabe-mom blogs"? Are you kidding me? Don't tell my boyfriend there's a label for it because label = legit, and that means my iwantababybabybabybabyallthetimebaby craziness will only escalate. God help him and my tick-tick-ticking uterus.


Congratulations on the gig! I am truly thrilled for you, and for all the others who've been hired on by ClubMom.

Come visit. I'm a total sell-out; I'll write anything you want me to. I'm just not that confident that I can write it WELL.

Busy Mom

My blog has a mother, but, she left it when it was young. Sad, really.


Phooey on the Trolls! More Noah pics! More stories about poop! More about the GIGS! More about the smackdown!

Trolls can fuck the fuck off.

So there.

Also, any new snark? Mommy loves her some snark……


You are fucking COLUMBO! I love it!

Marry me and wear that dress-of-discontent and we'll eat out at restaurants we can't afford because we don't love our kids enough, blah, blah, blah. Do you think our husbands would mind?

Jenny P./Lastewie

I just scooted over to Club mom to scope out the new digs, and I left pretty quickly cause it's so, so, COMPLICATED (whine). How will we know where your posts are?


I think it's really written by a preoperative transgendered Andrew Shue working covertly in product placement for Coach.

Beat that, Internet.

Liberal Banana

I hate when asswipes leave mean comments - it's totally uncalled for. There's already enough meanness in this world, we don't need more of it. Snarkiness at celebrities? Funny. Bitchy comments to perfectly nice people? ASSSSSHOLLLLLE. (Oh my god, did I just pull that "asshole" thing from Meet the Fockers? Someone slap me. Worst. Movie. Ever.)

Maybe you could post about what the hell is wrong with people like me who have no desire to have children?? (Or get married!) I mean, seriously - what is wrong with me? I am missing the Mommy Gene!


A troll with my beautiful name? Oh, the horrors!!! Your new job sounds great! I just gave birth, so I'm not really posting, but hopefully one day you can write about my blog. Good luck with everything, I can't wait to find new blogs through you!


soon we will take ovah DA WHURLD!



Queen Amalah! I've been reading you for a long time now, and you crack me up every day. I am way jealous - but happy for you! I know how excited I would be! Anyway, I only have a stepson who doesn't live with me, but I AM a dogmama...a crazy one - so if perhaps, someday, somehow, there is a need for someone like me, keep me in mind! (I do like to swear, though) http://crazydogmama.blogspot.com


Well that is too exciting! I'm not a mom yet but I will tell you a secret because I am dying to tell someone but can't post it on my blog because my friend reads it and I'm not allowed to tell her. Here it is: we're going to start trying to have a baby in June.

Gah, it feels good to tell people that. I've been absolutely dying to tell someone that. So I don't know if that qualifies me for much more than a wannabe mom, and hopefully (fingers crossed) a mom-to-be in a few months, but, um, yeah. It just seemed like you opened up the perfect opportunity to say that and so I took full advantage.

Good luck with all the freelancing and Club Mom stuff and I can't wait to hear the announcement on Wednesday!


I'm also a mom with a blog but I wouldn't call myself a Mommy Blogger. Mostly I complain about my mom on my blog. Does that count?

reluctant housewife


The people at ClubMom sure are smart! And yes! I am kissing your ass!


Rosie O'Donnell got your spot on The View. Sorry (on many different levels). With you on it (in it?) I might have even started watching The View. Dang!


Congrats on the awesome new job that allows you to eat out, be your own boss, read blogs, AND work so closely with such a good looking man! Noah! Talk about Dream Job! The word "Freelancing" makes my heart rate rise.

Jealous Trolls! Envy is so unbecoming! Just enjoy yourself, and nevermind the negative!

reluctant housewife

PS - I had applied for the very same ClubMom gig and my biggest fear was that they would pick someone I didn't like. Phew! You will rock!

Granola Spice

Congrats, girl! So happy that you are finally going to be paid for making us all laugh and/or cry on a 5 times a week basis.

You can totally take my IP address and run with it if you need to. There's no blog attached...yet!


Okay... that lady? Totally cracked me up. What a weirdo!

I have a blog... but I'm not a mom quite yet (currently baking...)


I have NO idea if people actually read it beyond people I already know. But I wrote about our (relatively short lived) infertility journey and now the pregnancy.

And no one knows who I am! Its fun!

Donna P

Rosie got your spot on The View, maybe next time.

Don't be defensive - just don't go there.

You need your edge. Now go update Snarkywood.


My material probably isn't quite up to your standards Oh Dark Overlord... but you know... I'm damn funny sometimes!
There is also a link to my brand spanking new food blog Love Bites... where is the link you say? Oh right here.

Suzy Q

I'd like to help you out with your new venture, but....I don't have a blog. I know, I'm a loser. But, I'm also not a mom.

I get my vicarious thrills from watching your turtle boy grow.

Best of luck and cognrats.

Also, Rosie O'Donnell is taking over The View spot. She would totally not fit into your jeans.


I'm an Olde Momme, (the baby will be 23 in July) and not a "mommy blogger," and being unable to use the many conjugations of "fuck" when the urge strikes quite possibly would render me mute. But what a cool blogging for pay job! Congrats all over again!

spammit/ anne nahm

Reputable sources say Pimpin' Aint Easy, but here goes:


Congrats on the job!


You had me at "Hello... look at this shiny cheese-filled cookbook"

I have a blog, but am not a mommy (and after being completely terrified by your comments section the other day have Removed. Baby. Making. From. To-Do List).

I do have two big dogs, two cats, a lover with organizational issues who needs his lunch made every day and some fish, does that count?

I started my blog recently, and operate firmly on the "write about whatever I feel like" principle, which is slightly more interesting than the Victoria Principle, and much more random.

So far there has been much about gardening, weather, freelancfe writing and politics, but I'm sure the dogs and the lover will get posts at some point, as they provide much material on a daily basis.



I have a mommish blog! With cute baby!

And also this one time I was at this fancy Italian restaurant and this I don't know, European? family was sitting at the table next to ours and they ordered wine for themselves and their two toddlers. (Which I guess is a normal, I don't know, European? thing to do.) The wait staff had no idea what to do, so they brought the parents and two toddlers the wine in fancy wine glasses. It was quite a sight.


Unfortunately, your job on The View has been given to Rosie O'Donnell. But I know you would have been much better. In fact, I am quite certain that I would have watched my first ever episode of The View had they chosen you. But now, I will settle for Starting Over and a giant blender full of margaritas just so I can enjoy it.


I was just telling someone about my blog and the explanation went something like this:

"I guess it's primarily a Mom blog because the Mom thing sort of takes over your life but it's also me bitching about being a late-in-life full-time student and about drinking but mostly it's a place for me to say the word 'fuck' repeatedly."

I haven't commented much lately because I scroll down your entries and see the 165 comments and think, "Can I possibly say anything that hasn't been said?" and then I check and the answer is usually 'no'. However, when I grow up, I want to be a blogger that's a cross between you and Mimi Smartypants.


In case you haven't heard, Rosie O'Donnell got The View gig. But congrats on your clubmom gig.

Smooch, smooch. Drop by my mommyblog anytime!


Congrats on the gig!

The thought of you posting somewhere 5 times a week makes me giddy- and my employer sad, since now I will never get any work done.

I don't have a blog, but I did just find out that I am having a BOY, so all boy baby advice will be bookmarked!


Congrats on the gig, I look forward to reading your posts! I'm also a mommy with a blog...and would be honored to have you read it!


I'm not a mom, but husband and I are hoping to start a family soon. Do I count? :)

I mean, c'mon, you gotta have some pity for me - I didn't get that Monty Python reference, even though I KNEW the street looked British!


Hahahahahahahah! Fuck, I love you.

I'm a mom, I'm a blogger ... and, erm, I can't think of much else interesting about me ..

Ah! I'm keen on thrift, recycling, simple living and all that, and I have four children under 5.

Shit, that sounded boring. Well here's my Anti-Mommy Blog (mature audiences ONLY): Blue's Blog.


What a perfect job for you! Who knew you could get paid to read blogs!

I'm a mom with a blog too! Um, but it is fairly lame most of the time. Ocassionally, very, very ocassionally I write something funny and entertaining. Please stop by on that day!


Okay, so what I'm dying to know is: what's in those comments that have to be deleted because they don't have a valid email address? Or the ones so rude they must be deleted? On one hand, I really want to know of the idiocy that cannot be spoken. On the other hand, publishing the dumbassitude is exactly what they're looking for, so those folks are best dispatched by IP Banning Ninja. I'm torn. I guess I'll just assume you're sharing the best of the stupid with us, and the rest go pphht in cyberspace like they oughtta.


When the *troll* posted the comment you reference in the beginning of this blog I was very confused. It was too retarded to be either funny or bitchy. If it was meant to be funny it really didn't strike the right tone or mesh with your typical responses. Y's response was obviously HILARIOUS, this one was not. If it was meant to be mean it really wasn't. It didn't have any real bitchiness about it, it just kindof came off and odd and bordeline psychotic. Like the poster had no idea what was going on. My in depth analysis reveals several things A) I may actually be borderline psychotic myself and B) it tickles me pink that you chose to point out that HELLO WIERDO there are ways to track things on the net. Now, please reveal said person's blog so I can dump tons of off kilter posts on it. You know, to enhance my personal borderline psychotic appeal. muah ah ahhh


I'm a mom-to-be with a blog, but not in the sense that I'm like.. pregnant. Just that someday I will be a mom. That counts, right? *lol* :) Sorry you can't curse anymore. At least over there.. you can still get curse-y over here, right? you might need it. oh! I know! we'll come here & get to read posts w/ nothing but curse words and baby photos! won't that be fun!? :) congrats on your new job-type-thing. :D


Oh wow, an INVITATION to pimp ourselves to the mighty Amalah? Sweeeeeeeet.

My personal blog: http://zoopals.wordpress.com. I'm not near the writer you are, but damn my kids are cute.


My I'm-obsessed-with-pregnancy blog:

Congratulations, by the way, on the job change. You're good enough the writing bit to have it support you as your full-time gig. Good for you.


also? now I know I can't post evil things from my desk. must jump to co-worker's desk. there goes my whole day. damn.


A mom with a blog or a blog with a mom? Hmmm.

Will you accept a girl with a dog? Or, in my case, a girl with 4 dogs? I also have...um...this here bag of popcorn. And, um,hmmmm, a sparkly pen. Does that work?

Congrats on your killer new gig. :)


Good enough AT the writing bit. Sorry. I really suck at proofreading before hitting enter.


Am a mom. I blog. My blogging is 99.9% about being a mom and mom-related topics. Not on purpose, but you know how it goes. BUT... the language! I shall go wash my mouth out with soap THIS INSTANT!


You would so kick Rosie O'Donnell's ass on The View and while you are at it maybe you could kick Star Jones ass because really, she needs it.

I have a blog but it is fairly new and it currently full of whining because I broke my foot and really that sucks because cute high heeled sandals are out for a year - WAHHH! Oh and I use dashes alot and very inappropriately but I cannot quit-----

But if you don't mind the whining I can be found at flybunny.typepad.com.

Congrats on the Club Mom gig - I look forward to seeing the end product.


Didn't you hear? Rosie O'Donnell got Meredith's spot. Joy is going to rip her to shreds!


This isn't a blog, but it's a message board for women who have had miscarriages. Some of us are trying to conceive, some are pregnant, and some have had babies. At the bottom of the page, are diaries, which are like blogs, right! So it counts! Anyway, there are lots of funny stories and stuff on there and lots of people in the mom-boat.


Margarita Mama

I rarely post more often than once a month, but I have three kids, so my blog couldn't possibly be anything but a momblog.

Lisa V

I am a mom of all ages and stages, 4 kids, ages 4 to 14. They're nuts, so am I. All is reflected in my writing. The nuttiness I mean.


I am a working mom of 4 month old twin boys. I have read you regularly since I was about 4 months pregnant but only recently delurked to comment. I don't only talk about the boys on my blog but I certainly do talk about them and any "publicity" would certainly be appreciated as it is pretty new and unread :(. I do have lots of cutie pics of them on there, that's gotta be worth something ;) Oh, and F that stupid beeotch who called you a liar. WTF is that about - do people really have nothing better to do? I guess you are a celebrity of the blog world and it's to be expected, like the papparazzi (sp?). Anyway - best of luck with all your new and exciting gigs!


Not being trollish, just curious...

how did you land gigs like these? While I don't have a family yet, we plan on starting on in the fall and with a husband who has a very fluctuating income (he has his own business) and me being the sound, stable, sane provider (of $ and healthcare), it looks like our dreams of, "Hey you stay home (me) while I work (him)" is more or less going to be, "Hey, you stay home (him) because you catch ALL the breaks, while I'll (me) work my ass off at any job just to make money and provide healthcare because really, who gives a crap about MY needs and desires? Gave that crap up 6 years ago, why start now?"

Bitter? Damn right. And savings and retirement are a joke. I plan on living off of my 401k of $2k when I'm 70!!! I'm so beyond prepared.

And yes, I have worked with creative agencies (I'm a writer too) and they have been as helpful as a piece of poo on my shoe. The last one said they were an expert in the pharma ad agency biz but knew squat about the trade publication or any of the agencies in town and asked ME to provide her with my paid subscription login to the trade journal AND all of the agency contacts I know. In short, I don't have your luck (ok, or anyone's luck) when it comes to fab jobs that give pay and options.

Any advice would be helpful. It's bad enough I hear, "Hey honey, I'm in a meeting (meaning on the golf course), how's your day?" because between that and 30 more years of "team building" I'm going to kill myself with a Sharpie if I have to shoot out a kid AND work full time.


Super cool! I am so glad things worked out for you.


Oooooo, being a small person would be way funnier! Also The View would be cool, except for Baba Wawa and that extreme conservative Elizabeth, ick! I am sure you are still in the running, so keep your head up kiddo!


Well. Last week I did a post entitled "Sleeping Together."

I wrote something like "we sleep all over the house. It's like...

and then I was going to write the name of a TV show there.

I wanted to use a current reference, but my tv is currently tuned to Spongebob, and the other one is tuned to basketball/baseball and I don't watch much current tv.

I kept thinking "Desperate Housewives" but I don't watch it and I don't know if people sleep with different people, but I bet they totally DO, but anyway.

Some voice told me to use "Melrose Place".

Voice, I said. Most of the peoples on the internet are too young to remember Melrose Place.

The voice kept saying for me to write Melrose Place.

So I did. And nobody commented "You clueless bitch! Do you still wear Linda Evans shoulder pads, too?" so I felt better.

Maybe it's a sign. A sign! Anyway, I'm here pimpin' da blog.

If you choose to ignore celestial signals, well, then, there you go.



Hmmm, to describe myself as a BLAWWWGER makes it sound like I have a hairball (sensitive gag reflex, I guess). But yes, I'm a BLAWWWGER, and a MOM-MEEEEEEE, and was hoping to be a WAAAANA-Be MOM-EEEEEEEE again, but that did work out too well.

Those silly trolls. I think they always want to get caught because even bad publicity is good publicity.


Not a mom, not even close. But my ovaries ache when I read your Noah posts, so that's a start. I'm still hitting snooze on the biological clock, but some days, I end up singing the last song it played for hours on end. ;)

Susie Sunshine

Choking back bitter tears that "Terrifying Blogging Overlord" title has been taken, yet I congratulate you on everything, because I am some kind of wonderful.

Looking forward to the hip, new blogger infestation at Club Mom. First we conquer the internet, and next...... THE WORLD!!


That's awesome! Congratulations! I hope that when I decide to become a mom, I'll be cool enough to be on your radar. You write really well. I'm excited to see what you're going to do with this new opportunity! Good luck on your first day!

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