I don't think potted meat product is actually meat. I don't know what the hell it is.

Other than disgusting, that is.

I feel ya on the piles in the bedroom.

PIMENTO LOAF.

I have no toilet paper dispenser. Painted two years ago, took the damn thing out of the wall and couldn't get it back in. Now we have a 6 inch square hole in our wall and the toilet paper sits on the back of the toilet. Or next to the sink. Or on the floor. Or on the counter on the other side of the wall, just out of reach of the toilet. But you seldom discover this until after you need the toilet paper roll. Once in awhile it can be found IN the toilet. Thank you four year old.

That is a HIGHLY impressive clothing pile. I have one too that has taken over one corner of my room along with a chair. It even includes a suitcase that I was too lazy to unpack after coming back from the beach, I've just kind of been pulling the things out of it that I know are still clean when I want to wear them. Also? I'm pretty sure that under there somewhere is a bag from Walgreens with shampoo, conditioner, razors, deodorant, etc., that when I couldn't find it, I just went and bought all that stuff again.

Laundry is HARD!

Also? Tri-tip. (haha! the meat game lives on in the comments!!)

Um, GOOSE?

And isn't the first rule of Meat Club that we do not talk about Meat Club?

What about scrapple? I had no idea it exsisted until I visited your fair city a few weeks ago, and I had to ask the waitress what it was. Based on her answer of "Leftover pig parts", I decided not to try it.

Do your piles vary in the wearability of the clothes? In my system when I was in high school, the pile of clothes on the chair could be worn again, but once they reached the pile on the bathroom floor, they were officially dirty. My husband hates piles, so I can't have them anymore.

Also- I can now see your entire entry in Safari instead of just half of it, so thank you for changing whatever you did!

Oh, don't worry, I called the hospital and your mom is just fine.

Haha, just kidding, they wouldn't tell me if she's fine because of HIPAA.

Haha, still kidding, I didn't call the hospital. But I probably gave about 426 of your creepier readers a good idea. HIPAA, people, don't bother.

Oh, and SWEETBREADS.

I filled it out, but that is the worst designed survey ever.

Out of sheer perversity I checked 'yes' for 'Do you know whether your child has ever been approahced by...." because, damn it, I KNOW my non-existant kids have not been approached by anyone.

and lest I look completely inappropriate, I really do hope your mom is just fine.

Squirrels do have some meat on them, although I'd imagine it'd be really tough.

I hope your mom is doing well. Please let us know how her surgery went!

And Noah is already getting teeth! And standing up! Where the heck did the time go?

While it may have been a very random entry, the hillariousness was not missing. Good luck to your mom today! I'm virtually sending her all my well wishes.

Honestly, I think that entry was about perfect for my brain this morning.

Noah is adorable in fleece. Watch out...it's going to sweep the nation!

That free outfit picture is one of the best yet!! Look at the fleecy little stander!

Crunchy toasty frog legs!!!

I doubt the "meat" portion is even large enough to be measured on a scale but ask me if I care - I'm counting it as meat!!!! And no, I never have and never will try frog legs. Ever.

I do that with my dry cleaning, too, except it's a pile in my closet behind one of my shoe racks. When I finally get around to it, I realize that I've run out of hangers (and I, like your husband hate wire hangers...except I throw mine away and do not create artistic wire hanger sculptures out of them), but it's like getting a bunch of new clothes that you already look good in!

Er. I'd play but my 'tofurky' trumps everything hands (or should it be 'hooves'...) down.

Best not to notice the "supposedly-hard-but-miraculously-easy-at-your-house" milestone as the Gods of Motherhood seem to sternly disapprove and wreak havoc the next time around.

Currently, I'm sleeping in my daughter's room - every night. Erasing the post didn't work either, cuz lord knows I tried.

Oh...and mostly?

Powerful healing and safe surgery vibes to your Momalah.

*oohhhhhmmmmmm*

I am so impressed that your son can get away with wearing stripes. Lucky boy, lucky boy...

On a serious note - will be thinking of your mom today. Take care!

Happy thoughts are coming your Mom's from the ex-other company!

Oh, and:

TONGUE!

(I can't believe I was the first with tongue. Your readership must be maturing).

All those meats and no mention of tripe? Triiiiiiipe.

I was waiting in line for the deli at the grocery place a few months ago and they had an unopened package of headcheese, and stupid me, I looked closer and read the ingredients. HURG.

I'm sending speedy healing vibes to your mom! Momalah! Kick cancer in the ass!

When I was walking through the supermarket over the weekend, I came across what may be the most disgusting meat product ever....

PORK TIDBITS!!

It was raw meat in a jar, floating in some yellowish liquid. I don't even want to think about what it was made up of if they couldn't even identify as anything other than tidbits. (shudder)

SALT PORK.

and also, good thoughts to your mom.

Giant turkey legs sold at Disney which people walk around eating.

Blech.

I couldn't resist.

GOETTA.

Also, BLOOD SAUSAGE.

Your laundry pile looks like mine, however, I hadn't thought to use the pack n play as a hamper!! Brilliant!!! Thoughts to you and nanalah! And Noah, too! Cutting teeth sucks!!

How did you get your hands on a photo of my house and my laundry? And my cat?

Are you stalking me?!?!?

(I forgive you because you spawned that carzy adorable little boy. Anybody who contributes to the stock of cuteness in the world in such a huge way has got to be good.)

1. I took the quiz, but I don't think it'll be helpful, b/c I don't have kids yet. But I answered as if I did!

2. Bitter is the New Black is on my list of books to buy! *Must remember*

3. As soon as the aforementioned non-kids do apprear, I am all over the stripey fleece. Too Cute, I think you should suggest Noah be the catalog model for the company! I'd vote for him.

And finally, thinking good thoughts for the mamalah, she will be ok!

Noah looks adorable in his fleece!

And also, I agree with previous posters: BLOOD SAUSAGE is quite possibly the most disgusting "food" known to man.

And thirdly, I'm thinking good thoughts for your mom - keep us posted!

For Chris--I think it's less about maturity and more about stupidity. For example, I actually thought about listing "tongue" but couldn't decide if if actually counted as a meat.

The brilliant wonder am I.

I agree with the "Bitter is the New Black." I picked it up at a Barnes and Noble and loved it. I read it in about a day.

Sending good vibes towards your mom.

not reading the other comments, because they make me intimidated. But Good luck to your mom!! I'll be wishing for you both!!

Ok, I am probably lame in posting this, because it probably already has been, but...

What happens in Meat Club, should STAY in Meat Club...because *really*

But seriously funny!

I thought of you when I saw the following headline on Yahoo! News:

"Goose attacking shoppers in N.J."

http://www.yahoo.com/s/289580 (for the video.)

Thanks to your blog, I'm now aware that goose attacks are rather common. Who knew?

P.S. Y, as I recall correctly, YOU TOTALLY BLINKED, and then were all "TRIPE!" after you realized that I'd tricked you into changing the subject and mwa ha ha, I win, the end.

P.P.S. SOYLENT GREEN

Oh, and also: SHANK.

Ok. So, maybe I did blink, but and this is a BIG BUT! (Not to be confused with a big rump roast!) I realized it within 5 seconds which FIVE SECOND RULE APPLIES TO MEAT CLUB and come on, I SAID TRIPE.

Clearly, I won.

(p.s. I think I'm in love with Nothing but Bonfires.)

Noelle - I also had an Amalah moment when reading the news this morning. It had to do with falling in a volcano. I won't go into more detail so as to not sent Amy into seizures. :)

But I said Tripe, which is used in menudo, which is a mexican dish, which, kinda makes my meat bilingual everyone knows bilingual equals more pay, so... TRIPLE POINTS PLUS 5!

SNAPS.

SUPER DOUBLE BONUS POINTS?!
Well, then. How about sauteed chicken livers? AND, I can't believe I have not seen the All-American MEATLOAF.
Many, many wishes of fantabulous health to Mamalah.
Noah is adorable as ever and if I didn't think my son would look at me like I was a crack-smoking, carpet-licking whore, I'd be buying that peanutpie stuff! Oh hell...does it come in 5T?

What about Fried Liver and Onions? With Bacon? Surely that's worth bonus points because it's a multiple meat dish...two...TWO meats in ONE!

OMG, the picture of Noah in the hat and pants is too cute! Now I'm going to have to buy something off of there. Thanks for making me spend more money :)

After my son was born, and I was still loopy from the NARCOTICSOHMYGODGIVEMEMORE, I thought it might be cute to fill out his birth certificate giving his first name as "Eggs." Because of course our last name is "Hammond."
"Hammond, Eggs." Saner heads prevailed.

Blood sausage is a crime against humanity.

Kielbasa kielbasa kielbasa.

Ummmm...that first picture of darling Noah looks like Wallace Shawn. BUT only that one! Sorry. Hope your mom is okay.

SHISH KABOB!

hee.

{{good vibes for mom}}

1) LOVED the post. It's why I keep coming back to your blog.
2) Turducken ROCKS. (no joke. Try it.)
3) Whatever happened to the bag study? (how pathetic is it that I think of you every morning when I get out of the car with my 75 bags. I'm counting on you for the perfect solution!)

First: Tofurkey. No it's not real meat but it is about the funniest sounding non-swear word in the English language.
Second: Dry cleaning belongs crammed under the TV table in the bedroom where the doors prevent the mutating dust bunnies from attacking.
Third: Mamalah is getting super-mega-ultra-lightning-get-well-soon mojo from our house!

Chicken necks and giblets. Head cheese and sweetbreads.

Absolute strong vibes being sent from this coast to yours for your Mum.

Dont you mean there will be no "weiners" in meat club?? LOL LOL LOL
gah gah gah gah... I slay me. (ahem) sorry.. carry on.