Mommy Dichotomy
Things I Will Miss, Part 2

Things I Will Miss, Part 1

(In an attempt to chase the mommy war infighting out of my comments section with a big old broom, I will now bring you an ongoing series of things I will actually miss about coming to work.)

(go on now, git! you no-good punk kids!)

(waves broom menancingly)

I will miss walking past this happy little fellow every morning.


After an incident involving three fire trucks, two police cars, one ambulance, a garbage can and an improperly disposed-of cigarette, these futuristic sentry-like receptacles were placed by every entrance at my office.

Quite frankly, I think they are ADORABLE, and I'm always ready for them to start blinking out morse code to me like that guy on Star Trek, only more cheerful-like and without the delta ray exposure.

beeepHELL0! I aM pleasED to accept yOUr cigareTTe! BeepBEEP! You honor Me wiTh your stub! Live long and ProSper, my dear bLACK-lunged mastER! Beep!

Or perhaps they are fooling me and are, in fact, part of a well-disguised vicious gang of keep-left signs.


HaND over THe MaRlboroS, bitCH! BeeP!



Away with the punks, so happy for you Amalah!


I'm glad I'm not the only one who gives inanimate objects personalities. It makes life so much more fun!


"Hey! You kids! Get off my grass!"

Maybe you can convince someone to give you one of those things as a going-away gift.


I see those smoking disposal things, and I always have an urge to place one on my head. DON'T ASK WHY!

And now I'll try to pretend I'm actually normal...

Her Bad Mother

But you could go visit that old disposal thingie, couldn't you? I'm sure he'd (gender?) appreciate it.


Where did you get the last picture from? The cars look 60s style,and who is the dude wrestling with the left turn signs? Very funny.


I agree with Lolismum. For some reason, it looks like a very British street to me. I think it's because the cars are parked on the 'wrong' side. :)


I live in a small (but growing at an alarming rate) town out West and have never seen one of those new-fangled contraptions before. Maybe this city should invest in one since smoking is prohibited in every building and within 25' of every public entrance. People need somewhere to stick their butts!!

The Muse

I just wanted to say congrats to you, Amy! Both for believing that you could go back to work, and for realizing that you really wanted to stay home with Noah. (And none of that is supposed to be patronizing, I promise!)
I hope I'm just as lucky one day...



So.....instead of Mommy-infighting, you'd rather have a pro-smoking/anti-smoking brawl on your hands.

I love it!

*sitting back, putting feet up, crunching on a fresh bowl of popcorn.*

Dinner and a show. FUN!


I Love that Monty Python skit! I'm actually a little too obsessed with Monty Python, and watch anything related as often as possible. We even went to see Spamalot for our honeymoon. Wow, I'm feeling like I may be a big nerd right about now.


Oh, it always makes me so sad when people don't know the Monty Python references.

For anybody who doesn't get the joke about the vicious gangs of keep-left signs, please go to Netflix and add "And Now For Something Completely Different" to your queue.


Exiled to Canada

The evil left turn signs are from a Monty Python skit, and yes I am a complete nerd.



Mind if I sit next to you??? I'll share my big soda with ya.


Exiled to Canada

If you're adding "And Now for Something Completely Different" to your Netflix queue, you might as well add "Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl." I love the "Crunchy Frog" skit....


*scooching over for Sherry...*

Would Sir care for a wafer thin mint?
Bugger off, I'm stuffed.
But it is a mere wafer....


I miss going through the metal detectors at my old job. I always giggled a little whenever I had to scan my lunch leftovers - I felt like yelling "it's just a freakin' BURRITO, not a pipe bomb!" However, I don't miss all the freakin' school field trips that romped through the place so I vowed never to work again in a place that would be so attractive as such.

Real Girl

Your work colleagues read this site, right? Note to work colleagues: Please get Amalah a larger such receptacle with a bigger hole and a picture of a baby diaper on it. Perfect going away gift.

Things look so much cleaner in DC! I have a feeling that here in NYC, that poor receptacle would have something like "I love Dick's balls" scrawled on it by noon.

And you have flowers! Little, what, pansies?


EEEWWW! Mr. Creosote! That was the best!

However, I've never seen a sentry like the one in the picture. I should get out more.


Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, isn't it, eh? Beautiful plumage!

Anne Glamore

Do you stick the butt in the little hole? That requires careful aim, doesn't it?

Clearly, you are broadening my horizons.


I didn;t get to post yesturday in response, but I wanted to say thank you for your day care comments! My daughter just started day care- I have to work (of course I would love to stay home, but there is no choice- no matter what anyone says!). We found a wonderful daycare and I lover her teachers. It is also close enough that I can spend my lunch with her. No matter what you do people critize! I am so glad that you stand up to people and are doing what is best for your family. That is all we can do in life!

And the most imprtant part- Noah is beautiful! Seeing my daughter smile always remind me that I did something right in life!

Vaguely Urban

Looks like your little sentry is a multitasker, simulaneously accepting butts AND protecting knees from that vicious planter. What a champ!


Oh, and the latest Noah pics? Absolutely precious.

So are you buying (or stealing) one of the containers to have at home just to walk by & admire each day? :)


I knew the references, but mostly I just enjoy pretty much whatever you post. I am just a big old Amalah whore.


I am strangely mesmerized by the new-fangled ash trays and want to see one in action.


I love Sentry Dude! I totally think you should take one when you leave as a Fabulous Parting Gift.


"Oh, it always makes me so sad when people don't know the Monty Python references.

For anybody who doesn't get the joke about the vicious gangs of keep-left signs, please go to Netflix and add "And Now For Something Completely Different" to your queue."

Well now I feel stupid. And young. And inexperienced in the ways of the world.


And now I feel old. And...pretty damn dorky.


Heeee...I get ALL Monty Python references...even when they may (or may not) exist. I read a blog the other day where the word 'shrubbery' was mentioned. Was I the only one who thought of 'The Holy Grail'?

(yes, I am totally a geek)


OLD??!! Let me tell u this story, Amalah... I was watching the "best chick flicks" countdown on VH1 w/my "cousin" (who is turning 16 next week)...I was all "oh, look! It's hosted by Ally Sheedy and Molly Ringwald!!!!" and she was all "Who? Who are they and why are they important?"...ARGH! You should've heard me trying to explain the importance of this group of teens back in the day! St. Elmo's Fire! Sixteen Candles! Breakfast club! All of which, not only had she not seen, she had NOT EVEN HEARD OF!


Omg. I can't believe I missed a VH-1 special hosted by Molly Ringwald and Ally Sheedy!! I totally would have worn my leg warmers for that one!

Congrats on the life changes, Amy!


The race for upper class twits. Best. Skit. Ever.

Also? I HEART MICHAEL PALIN. He is the love of my life. An autographed photo of him hangs in my bedroom.

Nothing to say about cute cigarette disposeries. I'm too caught up in my celebrity crush to do anything now...sigh...


You definitely need to swipe one of those. Fun party game.

Or are they cemented to the ground? Hmmmm... Been living in the "coooountry" for too long.


hehehe.... Monty Python. Hee! God, now I want to watch the whole "silly English k-nig-its" bit. ;)

Am I the only one who doesn't think that disposery is cute but is actually rather scary and creepy?


*sigh* I too am so sick of the mom vs. mom crap.

And it's not like you won't be working...because it sounds like you have something up your sleeve to work from home. So you do work...but you will also be home with Noah (insert the previous "butt shot" picture of Noah here). lol.

Anyway, you know I am still doing cartwheels around here because I am excited for you to be home with the boy who brings you such joy. :)


... mostly I just enjoy pretty much whatever you post. I am just a big old Amalah whore.

I have to second Meg's comment there. Only I guess I'm a big old Amalah gigolo.

Y from the internet

Who is this "monty python" that you speak of? (No, seriously, I do not know who is is.)

Does he like beeflogs?

(I typed "beeflogs" but in my mind, I said it like this "bee. Flogs" because I find that to be hilarious.)


I need one of those receptacles for my backyard. Last summer, my husband (who smokes) and I went out to the backyard to find an ashtray-sized hole in the plastic table, and no ashtray in sight. All we found was one little chunk of charcoal that we think used to be the ashtray. Scary.



i thought i saw you mention that you were sneakily considering the advice smackdown?

did i make that up?


Y--Oh my god. I have thought "beeflogs" WAS "bee-flogs" this whole time. I didn't get it, but I thought it was funny as hell. But it's "beef logs" isn't it? And I was even here for Meat Club. What a bonehead I am.

But I do know who Monty Python is.

[begin bad imitation of British accent]

"Come on, come at me with the banana!"
"You'll shoot me."
"I won't shoot you."
"You shot Bill!"

(Fencing with Fruit. Best MP skit, maybe ever. Y, you should rent Flying Circus. It would appeal to your glorious sense of the absurd.)

Just Linda

Here's what the mean old lady on the street I grew up did: she would pop our kick ball and throw it into the street every time it went in her yard.

And then shake her fist in the air and mutter something like "And I would have gotten away with it too, if not for you meddling teenagers!"

Oh, wait - that last part was on Scooby Doo but I'm quite sure the first part was true.

I'm still trying to figure out exactly how I shall torment the youth of the world once I am old and decrepit. I think a broom is going WAY too easy on them... Maybe a pitch fork! By then, perhaps there will be death rays and stuff. I can hardly wait!


also, exiled to canada?
I advise you in future to replace the words "Crunchy Frog" with the legend, "Crunchy, Raw, Unboned Real Dead Frog" in the future.

hee! i'm a dork, too! we are all big dorks!
it's fantastical, isn't it?

can you all feel the love?


I would think you would miss the goose that hangs out in the flower bed and hisses at us when we walk by him most of all. Nasty little thing scared the hell out of me today.

Heather B.

Umm hi, I've never seen Monty Python in my life. I'm sure there's a special place in hell for people like me.


Unfortunately, I'm with Heather B. But I do enjoy looking from a confused distance at all of the jokes I don't get. *smiles weakly and waves*

Mama C-ta

You are so selfish for deciding to stay home w/your son. Imagine how that smokestack feels. You should be doing the "right thing" by continuing to work FT so that cigarette thing doesn't get lonely. Instead you decide to be a SAHM and let other people raise the ashtray. Tsk, tsk. ;)

Nicole P

I too haven't seen MP. I hear from friends that there is something regarding an attack bunny, but beyond that, I'm squarely in the "smile and nod" group. But I have seen Breakfast Club! (Though not until about 4 years ago, cough). Damn my poor uneducated, uncultured generation (am 24).


AHEM I am 24 and I own every single thing MP has ever done. Do not blame your lack of "culture" on our generation. Well, then again, we did make Paris Hilton a star.

Go find yourself some Eddie Izzard stat! You need some learning, that is the only way to begin healing.

The comments to this entry are closed.