A completely inoffensive post, except possibly for the jokes about drunk babies
The Wednesday Redirect Smackdown!

Gods & Monsters


Noah waits quietly for the god inside the big glowing box to reveal himself and speak his gentle message of love, tolerance and Elmo.

For everybody who asked about the baby jail: it's called the Superyard XT. It's nothing really special -- certainly nothing we spent hours researching the safety of or the studying the current research on the most visually-stimulating plastic lattice-work. It also takes up our entire damn living room, but it keeps Noah's noggin away from the vicious gangs of roaming Ikea furniture. And for that, I salute it.

I salute you, baby jail! Keep on with your confining, frustrating self!


It is also handy for crushing the destructive hopes and shoe-chewing dreams of the average pursedog.

Also, I want to pass on one more big squishy collective thank you to EVERYBODY who commented and emailed about the churchy post. You guys are amazing and I really hope y'all are coming to Blogher so I can give you hugs when I'm all drunk and ungodly and shit.


Please get me back to my hotel room when I reach this point, is all I ask.



We're just proud you posted it!


Second comment! What a nice surprise to refresh and find something shiny and new.

Tell Ceiba to cheer up. If she belonged to Paris Hilton, she would be last season's shoes by now.

Lisa V

We will also hold your hair while you throw up. That's how good we are.


totally with the hair holding - how i wish i could go to blogher. even though i just comment, alot, sadly. and thanks for the baby jail info.

Artemis Rich

Thanks for the info on the baby jail. I have to make sure to get some tin cups to go with it!

Also, what really *makes* the final photo is the pool of milk cradled between his lips and just beginning to dribble down his chin. Priceless.


Sorry, but when you reach THAT point...that's when the cameras come out. Ooooh yeah.


Bah, BlogHer. If only. For the frillionth time, I am lamenting that it isn't on the East Coast, because MAN, the torture of not having enough time off left to farging GOOOOOOOOOO.

As for the baby jail, thank you, because that is *exactly* what I am going to purchase right this second for our purse dog.


Thought the baby-jail pics from the last post were adorable. I so wish I were going to Blogher, but alas, everyone I know and their brother are getting married this summer and so that is where all my travel money is headed.


I give Noah about another two days before he figures out which button turns the TV on.

We bought one of those jails for Alex too. He was in there for a whopping FIVE minutes before he body slammed it and the whole thing came down. We ended up using it to fence in all our valuables so he couldn't get to them while roaming free in the living room.


I would love to see the drunk and ungodly Amalah, live and in person. I think I would need to have a blog to go to Blogher though.

Squishy thanks back for being brave enough to post the churchy post. It is nice to know that I'm not alone in my heathen ways.


Delurking because-there's only 10 comments so far! Love the recent postings-don't let the godly get you down. And I love that dog! But not as much as that dee-licious baby!


wait! - I have that same relationship with the glowing box - Noah, you're not alone!


That last picture ... *sigh" ... Seems like just yesterday, when many of us were nagging for a post because where were you and what was taking so long? And Jason posted a message to keep us up do date that you had just had the baby and were recuperating (and I'm sure he wanted to say back off people, Jesus, can she have one day since she just, um, squeezed something the size of a grapefruit out of something the size of a dime. And now look. Noah is already swapping onsies and drinking too much. Time flies. He's just so precious.


We used our baby jail in the reverse order -- We blocked off the things not to be touched, such as the TV/VCR/DVD and, in the Winter, the gas stove.

But keep in mind, we had no vicious gangs of roving IKEA furnitiure lurking about to assault our children!!


to your hotel room? we would be too far away dancing and enjoying our drunkenness for any such hotel room returning. silly.


If I was going to BlogHer I would totally hustle you back to your room before you disgraced yourself in any permanently scarring way.


Oh my - Noah is coming to BlogHer!! What fun.

I also very much enjoyed your "churchy" post. Thank you for sharing your life. I love the humor and the baby pics, but it's always nice to see a little of the history.


i'm going to blogher on saturday only, so even though you have NO clue who i am..i will stalk you and hug you and attack you with love. ha!


Does the baby jail come in extra-large sizes? Like, maybe for husbands?


Bah! Noah is so cute. SO CUTE! I want one! The picture with the milk leaking out of his mouth is priceless.


Too cute. :) (the Noah not the purse dog).


I love the baby jail!! It is the only baby-proofing item that has survived our 3 year old and still thwarts him!


Noah is 8 months old tomorrow, right? And already pulling himself up, is he doing the cruising along on the furniture thing yet? Such a cutie. The first thing I noticed in that last photo was the dribbly milk chin. *Sigh*

BlogHer, oh yes, there will be drinking and embarrassed hugging and the helping of each other back to our rooms. And possibly some ungodliness.


We'll get you back to your hotel alright...AFTER we take pictures. ;)

Can't wait for Blogher!

kerri anne

I have it on good authority that BlogHer is going to be epic for sure. : )


We look forward to meeting you at BlogHer! We all really like your blog and BlogHer is on our own backyard!

The Momss of Silicon Valley Moms Blog
http://www.svmomsblog.com or http://www.siliconvalleymomsblog.com

A whole group of us will be there!
..... great post! I wish I thought of baby jail years agao... when I needed it!


Is your dance card full for drunken hugs? If not, sign me up.


I'm not going to Blogher, but I plan on asking Jennster to do a little hugging/stalking on my behalf!


I'd definitely volunteer to call room service for a grilled cheese sandwich when you got the "drunchies" at BlogHer - but I can't say I wouldn't be in the same state! Yeah! It IS in San Jose, right? I totally wanna go!


Aww, tis a shame I'm all the way in Sydney. Hope everyone going to the conference has a great time!

Noah pic is too cute, once again. And I'm all out of witty comments today.



I LOVE the Superyard XT. I even went back and bought the extensions. We have no room for the living room furniture anymore but we do have our sanity and I consider it a fair trade.


"Nobody tells you what to do when the baby pukes on the cat." I love it! I bet Max was so confused..


I am SO going to BlogHer next year. Sadly, this year, I will be on the family vacation. Which really? Not so sad. I've learned that once your parents marry you off, family vacations take on an entirely new (and improved) meaning which involves your parents flying both of their daughters and their son-in-laws from their respective corners of the world into Chicago for a long weekend and then they take you SHOPPING! And DRINKING!

But I was actually going to comment on the post...I just forget how now...oh well. So sorry.


You can bet that I will give you a hug and buy you a drink. But I will probably look like that last (darling) picture before you do...


All hail the Superyard XT, which saved my life 5 years ago (all 2 sets of them) when my twins started crawling. :) We still have it and use it - now for my 1 yr old, who hates it with a passion.


What is it with the pursedogs and chewing everything means anything? I thought my dog had reached the pinnacle of her destructiveness when she chewed my brown espadrilles. That was until I came home and found the handle of my Coach purse in two pieces.


do you have to have a cool blog to go to blogher?
or is it okay if you have a mildly lame blog that only 12 people read?


"Nobody tells you what to do when the baby pukes on the cat."

What did you do? I have to ask, sorry.

Kelly M.

You have the most beautiful precious handsome perfect little man that I have ever seen. I just couldnt not say that any longer. He is adorable!!!!!


Here is what you do when the baby pukes on the cat: You shriek at the top of your lungs for your husband, then go hide in the bathroom while he deals with it.

I also think there were a lot of paper towels involved.


LOL I will have to remember that one. After that trauma, I think you deserve a glas of wine or at least a lot of chocolate.


We have baby jail too! And we even CALL it baby jail (too!) and this week we're on vacation in a beach house and more than anything I MISS BABY JAIL!! This child of mine is an escaped convice and cannot stop running to explore the entire house (three levels, I'm tired of stairs!!!) ACK!

As for the churchy thing, I didn't comment because I'm on vacation (HA!) but I feel very similarly. There, I said it (lightning? waiting.... waiting...)


Oh how I wish I was going to Blogher. It sounds like it's going to be one big par-tay.

(oh my sister in law has the same baby jail for her twins...and it's amazing. If I were a kid it would totally scare me, but they seem to love it!)


I will tell you what to do when the baby pukes on the cat. Hand the cat over to the dog who will gladly eat the baby puke. Gross, I know, but it increases animal bonding, IMHO! There you go - you have your answer!

Lisa B

I remember reading the post you mention. I don't remember if I commented or not. But yes, I was raised Catholic and experienced some of the same stuff.

Also, I wish I could be at Blogher, because you will have so many fans there, they will be fighting over who gets to hold your hair back for you when you drink too much and puke all over the place. heehee.

Bonanza Jellybean

Ceiba's lucky you haven't figured out "doggie jail" which involves an overturned laundry basket and too many cocktails. Works great on cats, too. We tried it on the kid, but the whole opposable thumb thing made it too easy to flip it right over. Kids.

Real Girl

Ok. I need some clever way of saying, "No, THIS is the cutest baby picture." Because that TV one is cutilicious.


To those who call it a baby jail...PSHAW!!! They wouldn't think that with two little beings needing a corral.

I'm glad someone else's kid looks at the big picture box the same way my two do.

Keep those pics a'comin!


All of your Noah pictures are absolutely adorable, especially the one of him looking with rapt attention at his reflection in the TV screen. You need to save some of these to embarrass him with when he's 13 and you show them to his friends.

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