How painful. Now it is done, and you never have to attend another!

You looked beautiful. Isn't it amazing to see how much you've changed?

Shit... didn't mean that to seem like you WEREN'T gorgeous before. It was sort of two separate thoughts... 1. That you looked gorgeous. 2. Isn't it neat to see how you've grown and changed since your high school years. Yeah, that's better.

Ah, whatever. I just sound like an idiot. :)

so, do you regret going?

Man, I felt out of place at my high school too. It's *great* being a scholarship kid.

And...I'm feeling you on the underwear dilemma! Last night I had my first reading for my novel, which was thankfully right near where I grew up. Because I realized about ten minutes before I was to leave from my parents' house that the lacy white underwear I was wearing completely showed through my white dress.

I did my first reading in my mom's underwear.

*That's* how cool I am.

GOOD FOR YOU for getting thru the reunion, which takes bollocks, Amy. Giant balls of steel.

I have never been to a reunion and probably never will. There were only 4 of us but I do keep in touch with one former classmate.

Hopefully the rest of your weekend was so awesome that this glitch in the fun barely registers on the radar.

You did look awesome and I liked looking at all of your pretty drinks!!

Hurrah for growing up! and out! and away! from the old high school crowd, while not judging them (and thereby having nasty gossip come round the world to bite you in the bum).

I'm not sure what kind of entry you thought we wanted you to write about the reunion.

I just want to see the shoes.

Fix up a tub of those martinis and watch the movie Grosse Pointe Blank. The bonus is that you can drool over a hot John Cusack the whole time, but the movie is FUNNY. FUCKING FUNNY, even.

You talking about following that girl around reminds me of the guy in the movie that walks around saying "Hello Jenny Parker, hello Jenny Parker, hello Jenny Parker" (or whatever her name is).

But my favorite is the hardass who still acts like he wants to kick Martin's ass.

"Do you *really* believe that there's some stored up conflict that exists between us? There *is* no us. *We* don't exist. So who do you wanna hit, man? It's not me. Now whaddya wanna do here, man? "

Great movie...

Take comfort in the fact that the people you cannot rant about here probably died when they read that you were naked underneath your clothes. ;)

*smooches*

It's strange, going back to your old home town. I grew up in a small city in the middle of redneck, oilfield, fundamentalist Christian Alberta, and despite the population growth, it still gets smaller every time I go back.

And it's weird, seeing the people who never left -- the ones who are still telling the same stories they told 5 years ago, 10 years ago. And how all the echoes of who you used to be come crashing down around you, trying to pigeonhole you back into that old mold, the one you no longer fit. It's funny, too, meeting your old friends and realizing that all you have in common now is the past.

Ever seen Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion? (I don't understand how people thought it was a comedy; watching it I remembered how brutally, emotionally wrenching high school was.) At the end, all the characters realize that, just as someone tormented them and they idolized someone else, they were also someone else's idol, and someone else's torment. And it was hell for all of us.

By thweway, your pictures is very pretty (despite the bored look of disdained loathing in your eyes at being surrounded by the witless morons of your youth).

Am drunk right now, thanks to our company ra-ra fest in the parking garage. Anyway, you just helped me make up my mind about attending my class reunion next year. No thanks. I'm in your boat.

Strange, isn't it? How you become a mixture of then and now when submerged in the old environment.

I wrote about my 15-year reunion last summer. I drank too much too, but I was damn proud of some of the things I did and said. Including telling a former football player to stop staring at my tits.

Nice reference to the Indigo Girls song. Love it...

Jane-Marie: Luckily the reunion was held at the back room of a local restaurant and not at the school itself, and there was nothing to stop anybody from leaving the back room and hitting the bar.

Repeatedly, I might add.

Sounds like not a good time. But your hair? Would kill for it.

You know what they say "You can never go back".
Thank God.

Because I am 100 years old, my 20th reunion is coming up next year... I am torn between DYING to see people and RATHER DIE than see people.

My 20th is this summer. I haven't been to one yet but I am planning on going to this one. The only reason I'm going is because a classmate of mine died last Fall and attended his funeral was kind of a mini reunion. I had such an encouraging time chatting with classmates there that I decided to try the actual reuion. We'll see what happens.

So sorry that it didn't turn out to be a more pleasant experience for you. You initially suspected, with good reason, that some old classmates would not be able to extend compassion or understanding beyond the tight/rigid little circles of judgement people tend to draw around themselves in like-minded communities such as this. It reminds me of the movie "Blazing Saddles" where the black sheriff (Cleavon Little) is being comforted by the Waco Kid (Gene Wilder) after being verbally accosted by the bigoted pioneer townspeople. And I quote:

'What did you expect? "Welcome, Sonny?" "Make yourself at home?" "Marry my daughter?" You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the New West. You know......morons."

I hope that this gives you a laugh (as well as all the other commenters who've used movies to make a point). You went. It took guts. You let your freak flag fly and more than a few people couldn't bring themselves to salute it. Don't let their small-mindedness affect your ability to be who you are. We love you just the way you are.

I haven't read the other comments yet so I'm sorry if I'm repeating. It looks like MOST of the people dressed up! haha.

Mine is coming up and I have thought about going, but deep down, I know it's only because fifteen years ago I busted the girl who is organizing it shoplifting when I worked at the Limited.

You looked great, even with the pout.

You look all glowy in the picture. Must have been the drink. Or the commando-ness.

I have another year until my 20th HS reunion (gasp) and I really don't think I want to do it. I joined a reunion listserv and even though all my old classmates insist they are different now, there's SO much of the same dynamic going on, and we haven't even met in person yet. I'm not sure I want to relive that whole scene again.

That does it! I'm going commando to my high school reunion!

I'm a daily reader who doesn't comment much. I loved the post about your High School experience and the fact that you were brave enough to be honest about it and share. My High School wasn't a church school, but being involved in a teen church group was the thing to do. It always amazed me how everyone got together and claimed to be so 'holier-than-thou', then reverted back to being complete assholes the next day. I didn't go to my reunion because I didn't want to have all the old memories and feelings come flooding back.

I applaud you for going and for being so strong. People do grow up and change and as a recent quote my sister gave me when I was down about 'back then' says:
"It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are" E.E. Cummings

I think that totally fits you. The real tragedy of the reunion is that those people couldn't understand what a truly beautiful and wonderful person you are and have even more so become. Their loss.

This is only further evidence that high school reunions are events designed by the evil overloards of self-loathing to make people feel bad about themselves.

So painful. I cringe, I really do. This is why I didn't go to mine. The wounds may heal, but the scars remain. I'm nowhere near as fabulous as Amalah, and to see your pain, so beautifully written, shows me that I can never go back. Entirely too painful. Thank you so much.

I meant the above comment in an admiring kind of way, it came out sounding very flat because I am tired.

And don't have a job. And am living in an Extended Stay Hotel.

Okay okay, this is not my blog. I'll take it elsewhere. :-)

I am in deep admiration of you for attending your high school reunion. There was no way I was going to my 10 year one that was 3 years ago. Plus, I was in Europe with my mom. But that's a different story. I have zero desire to ever see any of the people I went to high school with except for one and I keep in contact with her multiple times during the day! Sometimes I even hate to go see my parents who still live in the same town. There's always the chance I'll run into someone at Kroger. Ugh.
Also, Indigo Girls RULE! :)

this is why i am NEVER going to my H.S. reunions. EVER. NEVER EVER EVER EVER.

Sit back for another 10 years now, hon.

By the way, you look hot. Alllllso, insanely drunk.

JustLinda-

"I killed the President of Paraguay with a FORK; how've you been?"

BEST. MOVIE QUOTE. EVER

So did you rub it in that Andrew Shue likes you?

Ugh - I also grew up in the middle of nowhere and my 10 year reunion is this year as well. I don't plan on attending ... just too icky. I've moved away and moved on.

Two comments - a friend of mine once ran over a chicken in high school! Seriously. We were skipping school at the time, driving around on some back roads. I guess the chicken was in the road and she somehow didn't see it until it was too late.

Also, WOW is that really your hair in the pic because it looks amazing! Golden waves make me so envious.

Or a halo, perhaps?!!?

:-)

you have just articulated precisely why i never have, and never will, attend a reunion.

i've moved on. period. end of sentence.

Uggh.
You couldn't pay me any amount of money to go back to my high school reunion. I just want to forget those days of being totally insecure and caring what everyone else thought.... I can't believe I ACTUALLY CARED.

Good for you showing up and at least participating .... even if it was painful....

ps. you really look like you wanted to be somewhere else in the picture.....

Jill
Co-Founder, Silicon Valley Moms Blog

ugh. this brings me back to my 10-year last summer.

...uhh, yeah. never doing that again. EVER. blech. i never felt comfortable in that town and couldn't wait to get out. and thinking that people would actually EVOLVE as much as i like to believe i've tried to? was a ridiculous - no, HILARIOUS - assumption.

there's just no words to describe my horror when the "DJ" played Sweet Home Alabama. and everyone freaked the hell out whooping and dancing. FOUR TIMES through the night.

i grew up in ohio.

people like us are too awesome for our hometowns. ;)

How about that horrible c*ntlike teacher who made you feel rotten because you couldn't go on the faraway class trip? Did you get to flip her off!??

my 10 year reunion is next month.
i don't think i'll know if i'm going or not until the day before.

but, if i do go, i'll go commando.
i'll consider it a stenghtening manuever. i'll be channeling amalah-ness.

except, i only mean commando on the bottom. because, if i had to walk around holding my tits up all night, who would hold my drink?

Amalah, I had my 10 year HS reunion about two weeks ago and it was as much of a disaster as yours, but I had planned mine so I was obligated to go. I hated it. I hated that people hadn't grown up. I won't be going to another one. It's good to see people, but I was thankful for the life path that I've chosen. You should be too.

You're a glutton for punishment!

If you liked the people from H.S, you would have stayed in touch!

Never attended any reunions with people who made you feel inadequate and insecure. It always comes flooding back the minute you step back into their company.

The few people I liked in high school we continue to be friendly.
Everyone else I hated so I never attended a reunion

It has been more then 20 years since H.S. I'm a better woman for not attending any High school reunions...

((((hugs))))

I didn't have time the other day to add my 2 cents about having an only child.

Having one-kid rocks!

I love city living and with one child, it is easy to continue living in the city (we are in Manhattan) and you can more easily afford private schools for the kid and we get to travel to Europe and where ever we want easily as a family, and we don't have to always eat in the family shit hole restaurants. In addition, the child has the advantage of a rich emotional life from their parents. Do not forget that cities are filled with tons of only kids and they create intense friendships with each other, and never miss having a sibling.
.

Reunions suck plain and simple. I have gone to my 5 year and 10 year, and will probably attend my 15 year too. I have attended with my 2 friends [who I still talk to]. Afterwards we like to make fun of everyone and how much they haven't changed. I just feel like saying to them "seriously grow up" we aren't in high school anymore. It is amazing to me how people can revert back to their "high school roles" so quickly. I went to a small (450 students), private, all girls high school and let me tell you what a bunch of you know what's they are. I don't know why I keep going...

Thanks for sharing your experience Amy!

"Once again, I was just a pathetic baby chick flapping its wings, chirping 'LIKE ME! LIKE ME!'"

And that's exactly why I didn't go to my 20-year high school reunion earlier this year.

(Although there are times I still find myself chirping.)

God, that made my stomach hurt just reading it. I suppose this explains why I have never attended one of my own high school reunions! You are a stronger person than I.

I didn't go to my 10- year reunion and I'm not going to my 20th. Your entry sealed the deal. At this point, if I saw the girl that used to bark at me for no other reason than to completely rob me of what little self-confidence I had, I think I would have to punch her in the face. And I don't want to be the girl who punches another girl in the face at her 20th high school reunion. I realize now, almost 20 years later, that I am better than that. And WAY better than her.

Sigh.

My ten-year reunion is coming this October. I'm on the planning committee. And honestly? That's about as close to the reunion as I want to come.

Everything I hear about these reunions - everything makes me want to jump ship - it scares me. How everyone is the same...How everyone, despite becoming an adult gets around their high school friends and they slip into those same roles: bitchy, catty, eye-rolling, prove-that-you-deserve-to-inhale-the-same-oxygen-as-me roles.

And I hate that.

"Living well is the best revenge."
--George Herbert

Good for you for facing the demons and going to the reunion. I hope it brought you a bit of closure, and reminded you of how fortunate you are to have a kick-ass career, an awesome husband, a deliciously adorable baby, a rockin' bod (I'm still reeling over your 30-up/30-down after only 6 weeks post-delivery!) and a-may-zing hair.

Please don't ever bow to the pressure of writing what you think we want to hear. This isn't my blog, it's your blog. I have a blog of my own and can publish all the things I want to hear on it. Write what you want to write. That's what's drawn most of us to you. You. Not the you someone else wants you to be, but the you you are.