Weekend Report: I Got Drunk & Fell Down a Hill
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I Love New York, Mostly

One week ago today, I was in New York with my sister and my 11-week-old nephew Nicky. And I convinced her to take me and the two babies shopping in Soho.

I know. I should probably go to jail or something. I am a threat to all of decent society.

"I took Noah out all the time at Nicky's age!" I told her, clearly hallucinating about SOMEONE ELSE'S MATERNITY LEAVE, because unless Jason was around to carry the stroller and the diaper bag and...I don't know, a spare rubber band for my hair, while I staggered sloooowly behind, clutching my newborn against my chest with a vise-like grip on his thigh, I think I took Noah out exactly twice. And one of those times was just to the mailbox.

But still. I decided that my sister needed to Get Out And Go Places And Get Over This Whole "Babies Are Haaaard" Thing. So we packed up our diaper bags, plopped Nicky in the Bjorn, stuck Noah in his B-stroller (B-stroller being the One We Bought That We Hate With The Heat Of Many Hot Suns, with the A-stroller being the One We Love, But Is Fucking Huge And Heavy And Arrrgh) and set off for the subway.

Please read those last five words again. Now weep for our souls.

Here in DC, all of our Metro stops have elevators and escalators. There's a shuttle system between stops in case of an elevator outage. And there are only 83 stops total, as opposed to New York's 14,283,182.

I am telling you this just to provide a semi-excuse for why I kept saying, "Where's the elevator? There has to be an elevator! Come this way, I think I see an elevator!"

There are no elevators, and my sister is too nice because she never once smacked me in the back of the head while screaming THAT THERE ARE NO ELEVATORS, GIVE UP NOW.

Instead, we faced a variety of staircases of varying lengths and widths, revolving doors, turnstiles and at least one or two of Dante's circles of hell. I tried taking Noah down the stairs backwards and forwards. My sister tried to grasp different parts of the stroller while I tried to not run her over or send her hurtling down the stairs (just because she had the baby strapped to her, of course, otherwise her ankles would have been fair game). We took Noah out and tried to carry the stroller and our bags and the assortment of crap I stupidly left in the storage basket underneath.

(So yeah. If anybody saw the blonde girl with plastic linking rings wrapped around her neck, kicking a folded-up Peg Perego down a flight of cement steps off Lexington Avenue last Tuesday while ordering her baby to NOT POOP, OH NO YOU BETTER NOT BE POOPING RIGHT NOW I SWEAR TO GOD, that was probably me.)

The best thing I can say for us is that we did think to take Noah OUT of the stroller before attempting to go through a revolving door, which saved us from an appearance on the 7 o'clock news after the stroller got totally stuck.

Eventually, we did get to SoHo, where we decided the only way to make the return trip even better was to, you know, buy shit. Shit we would need to carry back, but let's not think about that right now, just hand over the credit card and let the retail therapy do its thiiiing, baby.

Of course, our first stop was the Scholastic Store, a store my sister had been talking about since forever, where you can let infants roam free in their natural primary-colored habitat while you buy toys that come with a Harvard-acceptance guarantee and there's free wine and little magic fairies fly around giving you candy.

At least, that's what I'm assume happens at the store, because FYI: the SoHo Scholastic Store is currently CLOSED FOR WATER DAMAGE.

"I'm so, so sorry," my sister fretted. "I should have called before we came down here. I'm the worst hostess EVER."

"Please," I said, while repeatedly bashing the stroller into the doorframe in my attempt to exit the store's lobby, "Like who calls a STORE to inquire about possible WATER DAMAGE?"

"Before the baby," she sighed, "I would have."

I looked at her and blinked, and then decided I believed her, and felt like calling all once and future guests in DC to apologize for never, EVER thinking to call a store to make sure no acts of God had occurred in the past 24 hours.

Plan B was to find some sort of ultra-hip, clever and deliciously overpriced baby boutique called Giggle. Which we had the address for and every reason to believe that they were open, and the promise of fully stocked changing tables and stroller parking (STROLLER PARKING!), but we. Could. Not. Find. That. Fucking. Store.

It was on a street that appeared to not exist. We asked Starbucks baristas and random people and some kind of scary guy wearing a sandwich board started pointing and yelling but we weren't sure if he was giving us directions or telling us that the world was going to end and indicating which direction the fireball would come from.

Although in a bitterly ironic personal victory for me, while we were wandering around, looking for, I don't know, 42nd-and-Three-Quarters Street, some random dude asked ME for directions -- directions that I was TOTALLY ABLE TO GIVE, LIKE AN ACTUAL NEW YORKER PERSON. Since I've sort-of come to terms with the fact that I will never actually live in New York, the most I can hope for is to BLEND IN while I'm there, so...score one for me and my totally impractical shoes and lack of fanny pack.

Eventually, we asked one last guy, and he knew where the Magical Street of Illusion was, and we found the store.

"Um. Can I just say something about that guy?" my sister asked as we arrived. "He was...well, he was really, really, ridiculously good-looking."

"GOD. YES." I gasped. "Like I wasn't sure if I wanted to make out with him or punch him in the face."

Once inside Giggle, we decided we never wanted to leave. There was indeed, complimentary stroller parking. (AMY, SINGING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS: Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? Ooh, heaven is a place on earth!) There was a private area for my sister to breastfeed. The floors were clean and the merchandise displays were baby-proofed. (SALESGIRL: Um, does this child like, BELONG to anyone?) (AMY, FROM ACROSS THE STORE: Why? Did he poop?)

I bought the smallest diaper bag I could find, along with a sling, cleverly plotting to abandon the stroller there in the store (LONG-TERM PARKING, BITCH) (I didn't) (Wimp). And I absent-mindedly handed Noah a colorful little maraca shaker, which I also ended up buying because he wailed when I took it away from him, and because it never occurred to me that a rattle would ever cost TWELVE FUCKING DOLLARS.

(Also: That is probably how kids grow up to be spoiled brats, isn't it? The whole "Mommy will buy you whatever seems to be amusing you lest her preshus-weshus honeybunkins is not 100% happy and joyful right this very second" thing? I should probably work on that, hmm?)

Anyway, the trip home was slightly less horrifying, as Noah fell asleep in the sling, the stroller became our shopping cart, until we needed to get back down the subway stairs, when a nice man offered to help us, which we LET HIM, OH MY GOD.

Of course, my sister pointed out that the people who offered to help probably didn't know what they were in for, as not only did I make that nice man carry the stroller down the stairs, I left him to figure out how to fold it up AND carry it through the turnstiles. And then a woman offered to hold the stroller on the train, and I said thank you and then promptly bolted halfway down the car to sit down in a seat where I could pretend that I NEVER HAD A STROLLER. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

So I guess it's official: New York turns you into an asshole.

A manic, stroller-throwing, screechy asshole with a $12 rattle.

God, I love New York. I really, really do.


Noah, seconds before realizing that Mama has replaced his beloved plastic measuring cup with some other stupid rattle.



Dude, I was in the WORST mood ever (10 hours before finals - my God I should kill myself) and you got me laughing like a crazy person (yes, the coffee and lack of sleep probably helped too, but still).
You rock!

Laura B.

Oh, how many times I have witnessed the poor women trying to navigate the subways with babies and strollers and bags, etc. If only I had seen you and your sister so I could help you!

Your post was hilarious.


yup...strollers on subway in NYC don't go together so well. i'm all about the umbrella stroller for my oldest b/c it folds up easiest and smallest and backpack for my 2 year old when we head to NYC.


Oh my god, I've totally witnessed the scene you describe many times.

Next time, I'll offer to help. My favorite part: "I NEVER HAD A STROLLER. WHAT STROLLER?"



Managing New York's subways are scary and confusing enough without babies and strollers. You and your sister are brave ones, indeed.


Wow, that is brave. I wasn't even willing to brave the subways in NY with my directionally-challenged mother and 22 year old sister...I can't even imagine it with babies!!


(AMY, FROM ACROSS THE STORE: Why? Did he poop?)



At least Noah is still playing with his maraca (which I totally read as mascara and wondered what you were thinking -- or drinking -- to give a baby a colorful little mascara shaker and what the hell is a mascara shaker anyway?). I always give in to the screaming baby impulse purchase then once I pay the cashier they no longer want it. Sadly, I always think it won't happen again , but it does -- EVERY TIME!!

Vaguely Urban

The new rattle gives you the opportunity to exhort Noah to "shake his MARACA!" a la Penny teaching the guests to dance in the beginning of Dirty Dancing.

Well worth 12 bucks.


Gawd. I've never even visited New York.

And I've read this entry twice, imagining it the entire way through, the way people imagine what things will be when they've never been there before.

I also don't have children, and am not as pleased about that imaginary scenario as I am about the visit to New York.


First, I love Giggle. And I don't even have a kid.

Second, I have long been baffled by people's ability to navigate the subway stations BY THEMSELVES with a kid and a stroller and all the kid paraphernalia (to say nothing of shopping bags! You naughty girl!). I often see some random guy schlepping the stroller up or down the stairs; but what about when nobody helps? Then what? I would probably just stand there and cry.

My friends with kids either stick to the Baby Bjorn or sling for subway outings (which you clearly caught onto) or have the crappiest of crap strollers for that express purpose, so they can fold the piece of crap up super-quick and if it gets caught in the door of the train or whatever (right, you take the baby out first), then eh - no big loss.


oh my god! I just laughed so hard! I could just see you in there. I wish we had stored like that here! And hello- who calls to see if there was water damage! You have to love your sisters thoughtfulness!


No, you give in to the impulse buys when you're in a strange city at the end of a really long and stressful day because if $12 is all it takes to shut the kid up for the stressful ride back? TOTALLY worth it.

Plenty of time to work on that immediate gratification later. I've been known to make the trip to Target for toilet paper and milk, then walk around for a while, just to prove what I said in the car: "We are ONLY buying toilet paper and milk. We can LOOK at the toys but we are not BUYING any toys today." She can have a complete screaming meemie meltdown at the Target three miles away.


I, too, read it as mascara and was wondering if Giggle had some sort of a Sephora counter.

Also, I hope you went into the Prada store in Soho. It is impractical but beautiful, just like much of Prada.


Heh. I was wondering what the heck a mascara shaker was until I clicked on the link. Reading is the shizzle, I suppose.


I'm jonesing for NYC this time of year. I went two years ago for work and spent an extra few days with my aunt and had a wonderful time. We ate dinner at hip restaurants in the Village, shopped in Soho and generally did very many cool things. Leaving NYC to go home is a cruel reality, isn't it?


Very funny. Also, can you tell us what both your A and B strollers are? I just ordered a Peg Perego P3, and I'm so hoping that it is not the model you hate so much because I need a great stroller for the price I paid. Thanks!


Ah, the memories this stirs up. Be glad this didn't happen while you were breast feeding. 'Cause you know what's really festive? Having a newborn... being in Gymboree... having one's milk drop... frantically searching for the nifty bathroom in Dillard's next door that has the sitting room and all (Handy! Comfy! Hiding!)... finding only the bathroom with the two stalls... discovering, while trying to plug up the screaming infant with the much sought after nipple, that one desperately needs to pee... discovering, while feeding child and relieving oneself (yeah, yeah, sanitary, blah blah blah... needs must, people!), that the stall? Totally out of toilet paper.

I can't even find the inner strength to finish this scenario. Bad. Just BAD.

I'm in agreement on the $12 rattle thing. Some things are just worth caving over. And much cheaper than the civil suit that could have come up if you'd let him scream it out and then been forced to release your frayed nerves by punching a stranger in the face.


Hilarious! I too wiped out the memory of trying to take out a newborn with stroller on the subway and did the same to my new mommy buddy. I'm surprized she is still talking to me.


Cam: No worries -- the first stroller we bought was the Peg Perego Aria MT. We got it because it's super lightweight and we live on the third floor with no elevator.

Problem? It's TOO lightweight. Horrible traction. Shitty maneuverability. Tips over if you hang a diaper bag on the handles. And we realized that (DUH) we can just keep the stroller in the trunk of our car to avoid the stairs.

So we upgraded to the iCoo Infinity by Hauck (kind of a poor man's Bugaboo). And it ROCKS. Rubber tires, sturdy, adjustable seat, fantastic steering. But it's pretty big and heavy (even when folded) so we figured the Aria would be better for travel.

I plan to buy a cheapo umbrella stroller one of these days, but GOD. I just can't bring myself to buy stroller NUMBER THREE. For ONE BABY. Argh.



You're much braver than anyone I know, especially those stairs. With babies, strollers AND shopping bags? Brave, I tell you - brave.

$12 for a baby rattle. Good lord. I suppose thats NYC for you - even though I've never been. Sounds frightening!



I did something I don't normally do while reading this post. I held Pookie down and made him listen while I read the part about the good looking guy aloud.

He didn't understand what was so funny. I totally did.

I'm glad y'all survived to shop another day.


I love how he has the maraca rattle tucked into his arm. It kills me, the cuteness when babies do things like that.

And your adventure? So totally something that would happen to me if I ever ventured out of nice, safe Ohio and went to New York with a stroller.

What i want to know is, did you reclaim the stroller when you got to your stop, or just abandon it on the subway?


Good to know that the overpricing in the city has trickled down to plastic rattles. Kids have to learn early. That way they're less likely to have a heart attack when they're forced to pay $2600/month for a living space that is the equivalent of an oversized pantry.

Glad you had a mostly good time in New York, Amy.


Your trip is a raving success compared to the one I'm on right now. I just blogged about it... the absolute pinnacle of my trip, thus far, has been FINDING A MCDONALDS. It's all down hill from here.... fortunately, I'm without children and downhill does not imply the treat of a runaway stroller.


Yes. Very few similarities between the DC metro and the NYC subway (having commuted on both). The NYC subway is not friendly to strollers or pregnant women avoiding stairs. In my third trimester, I would take the crosstown bus and then WALK 20 blocks twice a day rather than take the subway door to door and climb 150 stairs.


Oh my goodness, that story has me rolling! I can't figure out which part is the funniest!
"Like I wasn't sure if I wanted to make out with him or punch him in the face."
I am inclined to see if stores exist here in town that provide alcohol while entertaining small children. It would make me seem like such a better aunt...I was so upset when Chucky Cheese stopped selling beer. What WERE they thinking? :)


London's like New York -- hardly any accessible access for the strollers. We had to go to bed at like 8 PM each night when we visted because we were so tired from hauling the damn stroller all over creation. The Metro definitely beats either of those cities.

Motherhood Uncensored

Um. Hello? A maraca? What about a freaking cowbell.

Heh. I know.

I just came home with a harmonica. I sware I have no idea how it got in my cart but I'm hating my life ever since.

AND PS. I totally get buying whatever is in their hand. It's not spoiled. It's "picking your battles" - at least that's what I'm calling it.


TOTALLY reminds me of the time we took my son to downtown Boston on the "T" when he was 2. They don't have elevators either, that I could find.

It. Was. Hell.

Bless you, child, for passing on your tale of woe so that other mothers might be persuaded to LEAVE THE STROLLER AT HOME when doing subway duty. This is the only way we'll all learn.


I've never been to New York, but I have seen Zoolander. You and your sister both rock.


Ah, New York with a stroller. Such touching memories you bring back. NOOOOOOOTTTT.

Best stroller for NYC trekking (which includes hauling baby, in stroller, up and down stairs b/c nobody will f*cking help you) is the Maclaren Volo. It weighs 8lbs and steers like a dream. You know, for an umbrella stroller. Bought a previous year's model and saved $40.

Now, back to the subways. There are indeed elevators. Except they are only at about six stops on the whole subway system. And when I tell you they smell, I mean you want to rip your nose off and stuff it down your toddler's nostrils so she will not have to smell that horrible, brain-bleeding combination of bleach and piss.

After several trips in one of these gems, I resolved that carrying my whole kit and caboodle was better than screeching "KEEP YOUR HANDS IN THE STROLLER! DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!" in front of a few kind handicapped people and not a few homeless people waiting for some privacy so they could relieve themselves. (The homeless, NOT the handicapped.)

Hmmm, I miss it. Really.


If it makes you feel better, we have four strollers. We love our MacLaren Volo as our umbrella stroller - we had a cheapy one (stroller #5) and it started acting like a broken shopping cart. We ditched it in a hotel room in Chicago.


Oh my God, awesome post!!! It made me laugh out loud. I freaking love New York but I cannot imagine dragging a baby and all of the crap required for said baby all over New York.

Last summer I went to visit Lawyerish and we walked all over the Village looking for an elusive baby store. Her husband and mine were grumbling but I thought it was fun.

Also, that rattle is really cute. I thought about ordering one even though it is rather ridiculously priced. At least Noah was still playing with it by the time you took the picture and it hadn't already been discarded for something like a cardboard box.


Oh my God, awesome post!!! It made me laugh out loud. I freaking love New York but I cannot imagine dragging a baby and all of the crap required for said baby all over New York.

Last summer I went to visit Lawyerish and we walked all over the Village looking for an elusive baby store. Her husband and mine were grumbling but I thought it was fun.

Also, that rattle is really cute. I thought about ordering one even though it is rather ridiculously priced. At least Noah was still playing with it by the time you took the picture and it hadn't already been discarded for something like a cardboard box.


I am heading to NYC on Sunday for our weeklong Annual Mother/Daughter Vacation! Thank goodness my daughter Jessica is 17 and doesn't need the stroller anymore! I always remember the women who would comment to me "You are so brave" when I would venture out to the grocery store with all four kids in tow...and all under six!




Great post!

Your experience is exactly why I love my super light Combi stroller so very, very much. I have had to hike many flights of stairs while hoisting my kid in one arm, and carrying the Combi in another that the damned thing has paid for itself several times over.

As a side note, it wasn't until I had a child and have struggled getting into places with a stroller that I realized how many cities and businesses are NOT ADA Compliant. It's criminal!


I had the same thought as blackbird. might have even been cheaper than the maracca!


Okay, so that "bilibo" thing on egiggle.com - WTF?


I love seeing New York through your eyes!

Well now you know why it's so damn expensive to live here with kids. We all just take cabs everywhere to avoid the subway-stroller tango.


I am wondering about the super small diaper bag you bought. Ours is WAY too big and I am on the hunt for something smaller.

Also - what a brave person you are to take not 1 but 2 babies on an NYC subway. I have ridden on it once and that was more than enough for me. DC totally spoils you with their super easy super clean metro...

Wacky Mommy

You're funny. I mean, you're always funny. But THAT was really funny.


We took the kids to the 8:00 Lion King when Mere was 3 1/2 and Mad was 5 1/2. Show let out at 10:45 or so..No taxis--We walked them through the subways, up and down steps, oh the fun! They were total troopers though--by the end of the visit they were hollering STAND CLEAR OF THE CLOSING DOORS whenever we rode the subway.


Well, here's the thing about a taxi...my sister doesn't like taking her newborn in them without a proper carseat, so unless I was prepared to be a major asshole ("Endanger your child's life! My feet hurt! This is hard!"), we were taking the subway.

We thought about taking a taxi back, but then the one we almost hailed almost killed a guy on a bicycle, so we decided we were better off on the subway.

At least we had a protective barrier of shopping bags and a stroller I was NOT afraid to throw at people.


Oh, and the small diaper bag is the over-the-stroller-handles style by SkipHop.

I love this bag so much I want to lick it.


I was waiting for this update. I kept my eye out for you during the week, but you were in SoHo and alas, my wife, baby and I never ventured outside of 4th Street and 23rd.

Notice the small distance between streets? That's because the subway is hell, even for seasoned NYkers. We too have an A and B (Bugaboo and third baby ratty Maclaren).

I don't want to get too long on the comment here, but the thing I love about you as a writer is how fast you can distill an experience, and how your entry here can remind me of the first time I allowed someone to help me carry the stroller down the stairs.

That's why I love the City. For every NYker who is rude there is another who will help you carry your stroller down 165 subway steps.


I think those frantic blurry early days with an infant somehow morph into nostalgic peacefulness, kind of like the pain of labour.

I think it must have something to do with preservation of the species.

Your sis is a trooper, I would have fought the urge to pitch myself and my stroller into the subway dirt.


Mostly I loved the whole "this is harrrrrd" thing with babies because I don't even KNOW what life is like without them.

Well, sorta. They're a little older now, but at the time they were wee and cute and smelled like a bite of heaven, I didn't even consider the "this is hard" thing because they were just hanging on me like an extension of my body anyway. You know. Like baby appendages the grew out of my hips.

Luckily, I have these wonderful reminders on my hips when I need to wax sappy about it. They're called HIPS.

Black Belt Mama

Navigating NYC is hard enough for two adults, let alone two adults with two babies. Kudos to you for even trying. . . and succeeding. Your sister will probably choose to never ever leave the house again though. ;-)

Suburban Turmoil

Thank you. Now I will have Belinda Carlisle on the brain for the rest of the night. Singing, um, New York, New York.


I have to tell you, I know your site is geared to much younger mothers than me but part of the attraction for us older moms is that you can so effectively take us back to a time we miss in our lives. You make me remember things that were maddening at the time but quite heart-warming now. I really appreciate that and I know there are many 50 plus women with kids who read your wonderful blog.

So my memory from this...nine years ago when my daughter was two we went to Target for something and as I was looking at household cleaners my kid ran up to me clutching a plastic black Santa Claus, the kind you see plugged in and lit up in people's yards. Something I would never put in front of my house. I opened my mouth to say "oh, honey I don't think we want to do that" and then I flashed on the previous day when my neighbor told my 4 year old son he couldn't play with her child because he had his friend Marquis with him and she didn't "like the way black people behaved". I closed my mouth, smiled at my daughter and took the Santa to the check-out. When we got home, I plugged him in and drug him to the edge of our yard facing the neighbor's house. She still won't speak to me to this day.
I know I got stuck with the bribery buy more than once with my kids but that one actually worked out for a larger agenda.


Amy, you are hilarious!
I was in NY a few weeks ago but it rained so never mind venturing outside my girlfriend's apt!
We are lucky to have the Metro in DC.
I haven't had to bribe my son yet or purchase something he's got a deathgrip on. But then again I think my heart's made of stone.


hahahaha....I totally read that as "mascara." Hilarious story! And you're right, New York can turn anyone in an asshole...I totally took out a lady when I was walking down the crowded stairs to the subway...

Knowing your penchant for the latest and greatest....what do you think of the Bugaboo Strollers...$1000 or more yikes! I see them EVERYWHERE in New York....


I love that you bought him the frog maraca. Because that's sooooooo the one I would have bought. For myself. Just because I like frogs.



The subway was definitely a better choice than the taxi IMHO. And I agree with Brian for every rude New Yorker you will find one who will help you down the stairs, give you proper directions, give up a seat to a pregnant/child carrying woman (even if it is only after I glare and say loud comments ;-))


You took the beloved plastic measuring cup away from preshus Noah?! Mean Mama ;-)


I think you're right about imaginary streets in SoHo. My husband and I went on vacation to NYC last year and wanted to do some vintage/thrift shopping in SoHo. We had a whole list of stores to check out and we couldn't find one of them. Either thrift stores don't last very long (I think our book was less than a year old) or we're just way to suburban to figure it out.


Yes, people, yes! TAXIS! God gave us taxis for a reason. Use them. Relatively speaking, not expensive, and oh dear lord, the relief. A trunk! Door-to-door service! No stairs! No smells (ok, sometimes there are smells, but not like the subway)! And once in a very great while, a cabbie will actually get out and help you stow stuff.

If you think a $12 maraca stopped a brain meltown, just imagine the benefits of an $8 taxi ride. Totally, absolutely priceless.


Whoops, just saw the anti-taxi post. Still, I would have taken the taxi and let my sister take the subway, and meet later. Really. It's worth it.


Um? So we have those exact same maracas. My mother-in-law (queen of spoiling my daughter) bought three of them for her. Apparently there is a boutique at National Airport that sells them - you know, in case Ceiba ever decides to eat it and Noah can't live without. The good news? She's 20 months and still loves them.


Since I am recently back from my last outing in NY (albeit without toting along a darling babe of my own), I can entirely empathize.

I think you passed the NY-er test with flying colors, m'dear.


I love NYC also. Let's move there and be roomies.

(Check me out...I got rid of blogger and got my own fancy new site!)


Really enjoying your blog - never checked out blogs before but am finding reading your's refreshing - helps may me take my ups and downs a little less seriously - i've lived in New York 13 years and also love DC and have to say you definitely have the more civilized metro system - they do have elevators at some NY stops but they're all the way uptown and pretty fucking scary ---


That was brilliant. Note to self: Do not attempt this!


Haha!! This post makes me exceptionally happy that when I'm in NYC I won't have to worry about hauling around a stroller and baby with the 10 tons of shopping bags I plan on accumulating!


Amalah! I lived in NYC , in precisely the neighborhood of Soho you were trudging around in, for ten years. It took us until my daughter turned 2 to decide to move to cushy suburbia. Listen, I had that stroller, subway, child crying for an overpriced doodad, experience every day for two years. You are an honorary New Yorker! Most people wouldn't even attempt it.


Friggin hilarious. And I would totally buy the rattle for my son, save for the fact that he is thirteen in August and would look at me like I had finally lost it. But still..

AWESOME read Amy, awesome!


I think this is one of the funniest posts you've ever done. Nice work.


That was hilarious. And also, you are my hero. I once fell down a set of NY subway steps and all I was wrangling was a passel of shopping bags.
But damn you for the Belinda Carlisle...


You totally need a Maclaren Volo. Trust me on this one.

And damn you for providing the link to that Giggle store. Now I have another "must-visit" on my next trip to NYC.

Amy H.

why do you hate your peg perego? I just got one at my baby shower. What am I in for? help!

Real Girl

Ohh, Wooster Street! Just past the normal SoHo shopping spots, which end at West Broadway. And did you happen to notice the Sephora right next to the Scholastic store? I know it well indeed.

And some subway stations do, indeed, have elevators. I've never taken them, though, because I grew up with my Mom telling me that if I did, someone in there would kill me.

Welcome to Subway Rage!


You've done the impossible, Amalah. I am usually one of those selfish, super-bitchy commuters who sees a harried mother struggling with a baby, stroller, and assorted accessories and just curses under her breath about, "why can't they just take a damn cab?! Geez."

Now I will refrain from reacting so quickly (and judgmentally, might I add) and have a little more patience. You've done the city of Chicago a service!


Yes, the DC Metro is cake compared to NY but as someone pointed out, London is even worse. We were there with our then 19 month old in an unmbrella stroller with suitcases, while she had a major screaming tantrum. We haven't been back since.

For our last trip (to Sweden) I searched high and low for a lightweight, cheap stroller that reclines and has a bag underneath. Nothing fit my requirements. Then I totally scored a free (FREE!) Snap 'n Go stroller and we took our infant car seat and were soooo happy. If your sister had one of those, you could take a taxi in NYC 'cause you'd have the car seat with you. Nice big compartment underneath, tray for drinks.


OMG, if you hadn't found that Giggle store, I can't imagine how sucky the day would have been. I want a store like that here, where I won't be humiliated by my kids' behavior...

Katie Kat

Okay... seriously.... laughing so hard tears are streaming... ha ha ha!!! I'm having to hide my face in the sofa so I don't wake my napping 9 month old!

You are SUCH the greatest mom/blogger/friend/person Amy! I wish I knew you in person (I swear I'm not gay or a stalker). You sound so much like my sister (wait... she lives near DC... you AREN'T my sister are you???) Anyway, truly, you rock and you make me laugh OUT LOUD and your life makes me feel normal because it's so crazy that it parallels my own.

Gotta go read that one again!!!!!


Amy H: There's a comment from me up there somewhere detailing our woes about the Peg Perego Aria stroller -- which I actually don't think they even make anymore.

Basically: way, way too lightweight. No traction in the wheels. Tips over easily. Certainly taught me to look at more than just the weight of a stroller and to remember that puttering around the aisles at BabiesRUs is a little different than trying to maneuver around the cobblestone sidewalks in Georgetown.


I work in NYC but live 20 minutes into NJ. Few are the times I actually bring my daughter into the city via public transportation, but last week was one of those times. I had no stroller, just a diaper bag, my purse and one chocolate-cookie filled sugar-rushed 2 year old who insisted on trying to climb and slide down the poles in the subway cars. Fun! You are a brave woman!

Now.. re: strollers. Run.. don't walk... to your nearest internet/baby store of choice and get yourself the Maclaren Triumph Stroller. Its a lightweight stroller with a nice roomy basket... and with a flick of your foot and a pull of the strap, you can close it one-handed. But the best part, it is such a smooth ride that you can totally steer this baby with one hand while holding your Iced Grande Skim Caramel Macchiatto. Delicious!


One more thing... Its a "lightweight" stroller without being so lightweight! It holds its own in dept stores, parks, hills and yes, even NYC!


You are hysterical! I had enough trouble not getting myself lost on the NYC subway, I cannot imagine trying to do it with the monsters in tow! I have a Combi Soho that I love - it is 11 lbs., a little heavy, but it folds up well andhas a strap so you can carry it over your shoulder - it has saved me more than once in DC, though not on the metro. My complaint about the DC metro is that while it is great for getting into the city, it sucks beans for getting around anywhere else! They want us to take metro to commute, and half the time, that takes twice as long, even with DC traffic at rush hour. Love, love NYC subway. And you - freakin hilarious.


Just today a poll came out showing that New Yorkers are the most polite people in the country : ) I'm glad there were nice people to help you!


Ok, that was hilarious. "Why? Did he poop?" Hee.

I need a nap just from reading this post.


I live about 20 minutes from NYC, and yea....strollers + subways = bad idea.

Funny enough I heard on the radio this morning that Reader's Digest voted NYC as the World's most polite large city!! Funny enough as that is! But hey you DID get help with your stroller, AND directions from a Hottie!
NYC Rocks!

Artemis Rich

Brave (or foolish) woman...I'd have just sprung for a taxi home.

You are my hero.


i like to think of the subway adventures with tot in tow as a way to make up for the fact that i no longer have a gym membership. but i will admit i have a maclaren in addition to the suv stroller. if you think the subway is bad have you tried a nyc bus with tot, stroller (that must be folded no matter how empty the bus), bags and you sanity in tow? i'd be happy to take you on that fun ride next time you come!


You are one crazy crazy woman!


Very funny post. Yup, I would have ditched the sister and taken a cab.

And for those of you wondering about bugaboos! Totally worth it. We have one, it was the biggest splurge, but saved our lives when Loli would not nap anywhere else. Steering is a dream, the suspension is a dream. Folding and carrying is a pain in the ass. So unless you have stairs you need brave every time you use it, buy it, enjoy it.

Any I second the suggestion of Maclaren Volo. It is great for (non cobble-stone) cities, malls and travel. It weighs less than my purse and has a nice strap to carry it like a purse. Put the sling in the bottom basket. Pop the baby in the basket and the fold the Volo, no subway stairs will ever stop you now.


I mean pop the baby in the SLING, duh! Not in the basket. That would be very Britney, especially if you folded the Volo while the baby was in the basket.


this has got to be in my top 3 fave posts evah! freakin' hilarious!


I know you were not singing Belinda carlisle.
I know how embarrassed I am to know that you were singing Belinda Carlisle.....


I am unbelievably impressed that you didn't give up and take a cab home.
That's what we do in NYC. Or we walk. A LOT.

In Paris, France, it was like that, and worse. Nothing in that city is geared towards kids and strollers. We had to carry that thing up and down stairs and over turnstiles and tons of other stuff that I think my brain has blacked out. shudder.


OK, that was hysterical. Even better than the pics of you drunk from the last post, ha ha

Silly Hily

That was more than hilarious.

Anne Glamore

I'll be doing the visiting my sister and her newborn in late Sept and I think we'll be wrestling the stroller on the same subway (the 6) so thank for the heads up.

I'm not going to take her to a kids store, though. I'm taking her to a bar.


Hehe, I identified with the confusion re: NY subways vs. DC "subways". Just before I moved to NYC, I visited DC for the first time and was quite impressed with their subways. I thought to myself, "Gee, subways are not the horrific incomprehensible things I've always heard about. This move to NYC will be CAKE."


Much sympathy and many props to the great post.

Amy H.

thanks for the info. just read the post you made earlier...oops...
I was also walking around the aisles of Babies R Us trying to figure out which stupid stroller to get. It took us 3 hours. literally. and I left thinking that if we couldn't make a decision about a stroller in a reasonable amount of time that they really should let us take her home from the hospital. Don't even get me started on installing the car seat....


Maybe that's why my BIL and his wife left New York after the kids were born. Oh...wait..they were already assholes BEFORE the kids came. Never mind.


As usual, you made me LMFHO! Thanks for the great laugh. Exhausted me really needs it this evening! I love the maraca, by the way....It's perty!


Seriously...didn't see anything wrong with the beads from the vineyard pics....just curious why y'all were wearing them???

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