Weekend Report: I Got Drunk & Accosted Ted Allen
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1. The Wednesday! Advice! Smackdown!

2. Speaking of the Smackdown, did you know that our own Intrepid Amalah Commenter and Friend of the Smackdown Real Girl has a book? An absolutely fabulous and delightful book?  A book that you can buy from various reputable purveyors of books and book-like substances? She does! And you can!

3. Speaking of nothing-related-to-this-at-all, but as I mentioned over at the blog about blogs where I say the word blog a lot, I have been busy this week interviewing NANNIES. Nannies who will occasionally come to my house and look after my preshus baby so I can do important stuff, like write on teh Internets about how much I love my preshus baby. An entry about that will be coming soon, oh my holy hell.



Interviewing nannies just sounds scary. Ugh.


nannies. please don't even get me started on the hell my boss went through to find THE ONE. but it's worth it. saying no to literally hundreds to find the 1 you like and feel comfortable with. good luck


Can't wait to hear about the nannies. Even the ones you would never hire are good for something - blog fodder.

Real Girl

MY HERO!!!!!!!!

(And can't wait for nanny guest star appearances...)


But what about your babysitter?


I cannot IMAGINE looking for a nanny now that I am almost a mom. On the other hand, I was a PT nanny for my first two years of college... And would have (literally) died for those two preshus babies. So I am sure you can find someone who will similarly adore Noah.


Our fantastic and lovely and capable babysitter (Heather!) actually has a stupid JOB that she insists on going to on weekdays.

So I've been looking for someone to come part-time during the week so I can write for a few hours without Baby Einsteining the crap out of Noah. I've had a couple people occasionally come help but it's time to Get Serious About It and actually get a formal arrangement with someone in place.


Mary Poppins??


the finding-part-time-care thing sucks ass, man. unable to find a suitable mary poppins myself, mina's now doing 1/2 time daycare. which is totally fine, since she now has other kids to play with as a result.

but i feel your pain, dude.


Sounds like you have a great group to choose from. Can any of the ones you don't choose commute to Upstate NY?

Thanks for the mention in the Daily Dose. We have two glimmers of hope on the daycare horizon -- a part-time opening available at a big daycare 2 blocks away or an opening at a reputable family daycare (I'm still checking with the state about complaints, etc.). BUT, no pitbulls or smokers or satanic rituals.

Good luck picking the lucky nanny who gets to cuddle and play with Noah!!

Lisa Ann

I think Ted Allen would make a good nanny.


Just for the record, I'm going to through a little bit of Noah photo withdrawal right now.

Way to hold out on us.


1. Hire them all! Coordinate them to his wardrobe. Encourage "team nannying." Wait, tag team nannying. (Not dirty! Helpful!)

2. Speaking of helpful: Ye Olde Smackdowne for today. Very nice.

Jerri Ann

We are so fortunate to have family to watch our children...good luck in your search, I'd be a nervous wreck if I had to actually "hunt" someone acceptable!


I hope you find a good nanny to take care of your preshus Noah. Am new to your site, I think you are just hilarious.


My only advice? Advertise for a mother's helper, and with the understanding that eventually she MAY be watching the kiddo while you run errands or such. Screen, screen, screen. References. Then have her watch the kiddo in the house while you're there working, so you can keep an eye on things and get a feel for how she handles things with the preshus.

That's what we did. And we feel....pretty okay with it. Bear in mind it's been four years since the last time we hired a babysitter, and we had a horrendous experience with that babysitter, so hence the four years of healing.


I meant to mention something over at clubmom about the nanny hiring. I second the screen screen screen comment. If you take a look at daycare centers (some btw are WONDERFUL!) ask your friends where they sent their kids and when you go to the daycare watch the kids. If they are happy and laughing, that is your first clue as to how good the place is. Enough assvice from me.

Vaguely Urban

Real Girl's book is some seriously high grade chick lit. The finest I've come across since Bridget Jones.

Even better than the Nanny Diaries (just to bring it full circle)


I think you should go all Britney-like, and hire a manny. Mmmmm, mannies!


Man, that Heather. Some people are so selfish.


OMG! *screams like a total sqee'ing fangirl* You answered my question about black eyeliner!

For the record, there's no hate here at all! The world makes sense once again, thank you for setting me on the right track when it comes to all things eyeliner. Black, brown, or otherwise.

Huh. I don't even mind admitting to my sister that she was right. But only because you said so and made it all official and shit.

Heather B.

If only you could offer a 401K...
And if only you could find a manny. I'd be down with that.


50 millions applicants and NOT A MANNY AMONG THEM.


Wacky Mommy

Damn nannies.


Wow, good idea Alicia. I'd go for the manny approach too. Particularly if he is as hunky as Britney's one - even though he was supposedly a bodyguard or something? Or perhaps I , you know, made that up. It's entirely possible.

Advice Smackdown - gah. I can see me being late for work today.



On the Wednesday Advice Smackdown, could you move all the bio and disclaimer and introductory business to a sidebar so the actual content will be on the top of the page and won't require tons of scrolling?

That would be swell, thanks.


I don't know how you can be funny on command, smackdown after smackdown.

It's an art.

(I read somewhere, likely on the Internetosphere, to tell all prospective nannies that you have a stashed camera in the house; if they're freaked/offended that's not a good thing. Makes sense to me.)


will you also pay samesaid nanny to come look after MY children several afternoons a week so that i can begin making a living from writing as well? i think it is only fair. you can have her mornings and me afternoons, maybe? or the other way. whichever.

Miss Michelle


It's too bad you're in DC and I'm in Charlottesville, VA. I'm actually looking for some part-time nannying starting in August while I work towards my Masters in Special Ed. at UVa. I've been nannying for the past 4 years. E-mail me if you need any advice from a nanny on what we're looking for in a great family. :)

Wishing you and Noah the best in finding the perfect nanny.

Sarah Louise

Oh my, if I lived in the DC area I would apply for that job, not to toot my own horn, but I'm *ahem* a pretty good nanny.Haha. Oh well. Good luck vibes.


Come to Florida, I will lurve noah.

Damn you, Heather! job, you say??

Mrs X

Yes! A Manny! Just imagine a perfectly lovely Manny with an ass that.........
I wonder if I can convince my husband we need a manny?


This must be the page for nannies' comments. I am also a nanny. I've been with my family for almost three years and I love my boys. (Two preshus boys - 2 1/2 and 6 mos.) Just trust your instincts as you interview. If it is the right fit, your nanny truly becomes part of your family. Also, make sure you ask questions about how they will care for your preshus baby in the future. How do they discipline a 2 year old..... Because if they are going to be around for any real amount of time, you need to know how they will handle future issues. Good luck!!! I'd be happy to share anything I can with you as you go through this process.


Oh wow! I had no idea she wrote a book!! Thanks for sharing, I cannot wait to read it!

No nannies? DAMN. I'm so sorry.

The Muse

Real Girl's book rocks! I LOVE IT. In fact, I'm about to purchase another copy to give to my little sister & send down to my best friend. I mean, its all about supporting her book sales!!! :)

The Crib Chick

Oh my goodness! I've just found your blog and already, I feel such a kinship, after scrolling down and seeing that you, too, believe in red shoes. (I believe that Carson said that only whores or *children* wear red shoes. And I am not so affronted, because I am, perhaps, a little of both. ;o)


Good luck in the nanny search--I have four kids, have had a nanny for years and just had a nanny nightmare--you can read about it on my blog if you dare...be picky.



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