Flipping Coins. And Nuts.
Stop me before I start carrying around wallet-sized photos of my house and forcing strangers to look at them.

Giving Thanks for the Whole "Not Going To Be Homeless" Thing

My very dark eyebags and I are pleased to report that we have a house. Okay, a townhouse. Okay, a contract on a townhouse. Okay, everything could still possibly go to fucking hell and back, but didn't the first sentence sound better and way less neurotic?

I did not get my dancing monkey, but I did get four toilets, which is a downright decadent ratio of bathrooms-to-bladders, and of course no one will be allowed to use at least two or three of them because Jesus Christ, you think I am scrubbing four damn toilets on a regular basis? But still, is a very nice little house with a nice little yard. I love it to pieces. Except for the carpet. I really hate the carpet. Am going to think about all my closet space instead.

Ahhh, closets.

Okay. Now I have to start packing, and freaking out about the home inspections on Monday, and then work on some entries in which I complain some more about how much I hate my new carpet.



Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy!!! I'm so pleased for you.


Congratulations!!! I am so glad you found a place you love to pieces.


Yay! It's certainly a good thing, not being homeless and all.


Yay! Congrats! Just think, you can replace the carpet, but closet space is forever!


Good news - you can totally mow a townhouse yard with a weed wacker. We've been doing it for more than three years now.

Congrats, Amy! I hope it all works out.


Crossing my fingers that everything does not go to hell and back!!!! Congrats!

Zoots Mom

Congratulations and good luck....


Woo hoo! Yay for townhouses! Congrats. You know, you could always ask for a carpet credit....Just saying.

Laura D.

Congratulations!!! Closets are more important than carpets!


Dude - you got a townhouse with 4 bathrooms and closet space? You ARE the queen!!!!


Congratulations! I'm curious about which area you decided to move to? I mean just generally.


Are the closets carpeted too, or am I harshing your mellow over the closet space by asking that? We've torn up most of the crappy carpet in our house, but for some reason, we left the carpet in the closets. I have no explanation, except that we are lazy, lazy people.

Congratulations, y'all!


Congratulations! I, too, live in a townhouse and it's great. Yes, yes, I only have three toilets to your four, but whatever, because all that matters is that THERE IS MORE THAN ONE and for that, we are all very grateful, especially Adam, because I take long showers that always seem to coincide with his overwhelming need to poop.

Seriously, congratulations! I'm really excited for you. You're going to love it. Townhouses tend to be newish, which makes a world of difference in lifestyle, because everything stays clean, instead of the neverending tumbleweedfest of dirt being unearthed from the 1870s with your every step.

(Clearly, I have a love for the townhouse, even with bad carpeting. Who knew?)

Kim at allconsuming

Well that is exciting - and indeed smething to give thanks for. Although the concept of packing. That makes my brain spontaneously combust.


Congratulations! We exhanged contracts on our flat on Wednesday. Thank fuck all of that is over!


I have just one word for you: (sing with me, c'mon!)

800-588-2300 EMPIRE!

And? What the hell kind of townhouse has FOUR FLIPPING bathrooms? You have hit the mother lode!


P.S. Please could you get rid of the Dockers guy in your sidebar? He's kind of creeping me out.


Congratulations! You know what glorious fun awaits you, right? Packing with a toddler around!


Congrats!!!!I have two words for you... hard-wood floors. (wait that's three words, I think). We put them in about a year ago and I love, love, love them!

I hope you decided on my neighborhood. We could totally hang.


Yeah! So awesome! My new house has 4 potties too. Only we call them shitters - cause, dude, we have 4 of them!!! I mean, that is like one for each adult ass cheek!
WooHoo! good luck with the moooooving ;)


BIG YAY. And carpet? No problem. That can be ripped up in no time.

Nicole P.

Sweet!! Congrats! Bye bye walk-up!

Daily Tragedies

Not only can you write a few more posts complaining about the ugly carpet, you can install hardwood floors, which will provide all sorts of entertainment for your readers! (And gray hairs for you, let's not think about that, tra la la...)



Delurking after, like, a year to say congratulations! Exciting!


Congratulations on the new abode! Now go roll up those carpets and hide them in your closets!


Yay congratulations. Happy packing. And from experience, remember to label boxes properly (not just with 'miscellaneous')to save you from a whole world of unpacking pain.


Congrats! We hate some of our carpet too, and we've been dealing with it for a little over a year now until we can put in hardwoods. I hope you can get it replaced soon unlike us, who are stuck living with it forever and ever. I'd say the extra closet space and the 4 bathrooms should distract you from the carpet anyway.


Hi Amy,
I think this may be my first time commenting, but I just had to "amen" you about the potties. I've got FIVE of them (OMG, who designs these houses?!? clearly not the ones who actually do the cleaning of the potties!), and two are locked from the inside, because my three girls are little and heck, two of them can fit on a potty at once if need be! I absolutely detest cleaning bathrooms!
Congrats on the new place--can't wait to see some pictures.


The carpet issue can be fixed. Congrats on the new place!


you're spot on about the no using the other loo rule - we have that too.

we have no such rule about not peeing on bad carpet, however.


I hate carpet too. God I hate carpet. I can't wait to buy a house with either hardwoods or where I can rip out the carpet and put in hardwoods.

You can always put in hardwoods.

Cindy Dezio

Congrats! I will be thinking about you and hoping your stress maintains a reasonable level. I just moved 4 times in a year (only me, though... no kids) and it's not fun. But the new house sounds great, so best of luck!


Carpet can be replacable.. AND NOW I AM EXCITED!

Darn about the four toilets, though. But boo to cleaning.

Is Ceiba going to enjoy the yard? Or stay an indoor baby?


yay! you have new crappy carpets!


I TOLD you there was nothing to worry about! YAY! Grats! Now post pics of the ooogly carpet so we can hate it along with you.


Ooh, I am so happy for you guys. Four toilets is amazing. In my house, they would all be about 10 feet from anywhere I was. Also, with 5 bladders, two can be tough at times. That's why I make my kids go to school and dh work. Then it's 1:1.

Can't wait to see pictures. Also, carpet? "Dirt" or "Poop" are good colors with kids. Mine shows EVERYTHING. My friends? Always looks clean because she chose the "dirt" color.


Congratulations!! Can't wait to see photos of the new place.

anne nahm

Congratulations! I love it when things just fall into place :^)



yet another from the legions of Amys

Great news! I know someone who once had a 10:1 toilet to bladder ratio. She also had a housekeeper.


Are you joining us in the suburbs of MD??? :) Congrats!


Wow - so soon! I expected so much more...drama. And now I'm a little disappointed.

Please commence complaining about the carpets as soon as possible, preferably with pictures.


Four toilets....Holy Crap! :)
Selling your place will provide you with many angst ridden entries to convey to the internet, have no fear....

Wacky Mommy

CONGRATS!! And carpet is... aqua, I'm guessing.

shy me

hey, congrats!


Yay! Congratulations! So glad it didn't take quite so long to find a new place. Sounds wonderful!


Sorry bout the lack of monkey. Congrats on the toilet situation though. Maybe as a consolation you could get a bathroom monkey - they keep bathrooms clean for up to 8 months! Warning - orangutan will not wear diapers.


See! Some of us annoyingly positive people WERE right. LOL! Good luck with the move and all!


Carpet can change! Congratulations on the house.


Oh. My. God. You said the M-word: MOVING.

Amy, I have been moving for the last 30 days.

THIRTY. And working a lot of overtime and contracts on top of the dayjob. And my blog is down (when I need it most to rant about the bastard cable company and the stolen cable splitter which made my interweb GO AWAY FOR A WEEK), because I am too cheap to pay a service to host my blog and begged Darren to set it up and...and...and...

We too, bought a townhouse. 2000 sq ft. Three levels. And the stairs? 34 of them with 10 inch risers when the standard is 8 inches.

My legs. They hurt.

I have three bathrooms and one is HUGE. Like, bigger than the den (which is in addition to the two bedrooms and extra room thatcanactasabedroom). I am not cleaning those.

But yes. Carpets can change. Hopefully into laminate. Because vacuuming stairs? sucks only mildly less (or more) than cleaning 3 or 4 bathrooms.

So congrats. And thanks for the use of your comments during my lack of a blog.


I am so glad you found something! Four bathrooms! Where did you find a townhouse like that! Congrats and I can't wait to see pictures. And carpet is very easy to replace. Don't worry too much. We had the same problem when we moved into our townhouse and it's not too costly to do. (now when you have a new mortgage payment and all...it might have to wait a bit)


Congrats on the new house!

I wanted to comment on your little blurb in the upper corner about the mobile snot. The good news? You can always show old friends how big he is now by the snot stains on your pant legs. I'm a glass half full kind of gal! Who knew?


I hear you on the toilets. I freak out whenever anyone who is not an overnight guest uses the one in the basement, as well as when an adult uses the powder room for anything besides #1 (and then leaves a magazine in there....grrrrrr).


WWWWWHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Congrats!!!! Just remember- Carpet can be changed! So excited for you! Good luck with the packing!


Very! exciting, indeed. I love me some copious amounts of closet space.

Fairly Odd Mother

Congrats! And it is probably a good idea to remove old carpets anyway---we chose to just shampoo them when we bought this house and it was dis-gus-ting to see what gunk came up. Then, when we ripped them out to replace them, I was horrified by all the stains and such on the carpet pad. Ugh! My stains are gross enough but old stains from some people I never knew are too icky for words.


Is there room for the tire?


I agree with the tire inquiry.


Hooray! That was fast! And very good for you!


Yay! It's a good week! You're not homeless, the government finally gave us a date that is (!) even almost a year ahead of schedule, oh it's such a good week. We must have pictures. And possible renovation plans.


PS-- now yu have enough bathrooms you can do 2 over and 2 under TP arrangements, and direct your guests accordingly.


I would like to say hoorah. Both to you and myself. I found your blog about 1 month ago and have spent the last month of my life reading the last 2 years of yours.


am confused. have looked. do not see photographs. please explain.



In a few year, after everything's settled a bit more, you might do a "rip the carpet out and put in (faux-)wood flooring" project that some friends of mine did this summer for their townhouse. Um... in your copious free time and stuff, of course.

Good luck with the move.


Woot! Yay!

I hope everything goes well with the inspections today. And that the packing isn't too painful.


I'm kinda late reading this announcement, but hooray for you!


Many congratulations!!!!!
4 bathrooms! WOW!

Tell us more... because we are nosy like that...
Sq. ft?

Or does the thing have a MLS listing/website you could give us the address of? Because we love pictures!


Four toilets?! Sounds like heaven.


4 toilets is a lot of toilets to clean. Thank goodness you've got Noah to help ;)

bad penguin

Congratulations! I love my townhouse and its four bathrooms. I almost never clean the one in the basement though. I just close the door and pretend it isn't there.


I also have a townhouse w/ 4 bathrooms. And a cleaning service. Love the cleaning service.


That's great news. Congrats! That is a LOT of bathrooms!


Congratulations! And I have to agree with previous posters when I say that is a lot of toilets...


Four bathrooms is downright luxurious! I'll be interested to hear the moving-with-a-toddler-underfoot stories because we are moving in May. When the carpet disgusts you, remember it can be changed but 4 toilets are forever!


Four bathrooms is downright luxurious! I'll be interested to hear the moving-with-a-toddler-underfoot stories because we are moving in May with a kiddo who is 14 months old now and into everything. Since his favorite game is empty the bag of blocks/ gift bag of presents/ fridge /pantry, I cannot imagine packing. Sorry to bring up the P word. When the carpet disgusts you, remember it can be changed but toilets and closet space are forever!


So it's official, i'm a dork/lurker, and i'm de-lurking. I stumbled upon your little blawg, LOVED it, went into the archives and read from the begining. I'm so ashamed (but felt the need to confess) because I did the same thing for dooce... but at least I have a job where I can read blog archives all day...and get paid :)

So now that i've confessed I feel a lot better.

Real Girl

I grew up in a townhouse, in Brooklyn (one of those pretty brownstones). There ain't nothing better. Get used to yelling between floors. We had 3 toilets. 4 is just plain luxury. You're going to be so very happy.


Just rent out two bathrooms and use the money to buy new carpet!


So how did the home inspection go? And did you like the place the second time around better? You should have all of us submit photos of our bathrooms and that can help you decide how you want to do some decoration :) Bathrooms are actually my favorite room to shop for and decorate.

The practical me also says that this is awesome because if one of the bathrooms is out of the way, you can put Max's litter box in there and pretend it doesn't exist when people come over.


So that begs the question, where to?


Sounds awesome. Four toilets is....what dreams are made of.

So, you're moving to the 'burbs, or what???


Vaguely Urban

I was just remarking to my husband that I know we've made it in life because our townhouse has more toilets than it does butts. (3 toilets, 2 butts) By that standard, your family is really freaking upscale!


As someone else already noted, we hope The Tire will like it's new home.

Which side of the river did you end up on?

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