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October 2006
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December 2006

I should not be allowed out of the house without adult supervision.

EVER. Also maybe a helmet. I wish I could tell you that this: ...was further evidence that I am simply some poor hapless guppy caught up in the powerful circular flush of the universe, but the boring truth is I simply make very bad decisions regarding shopping carts. There was a brief moment, right as the bag ripped and sent my groceries spilling out across the sidewalk, right as I caught the eyes of the woman who saw what happened and then BOLTED into the nearest Pier One, right as I dove for the back of Noah's shirt to prevent him from dashing out into traffic, when I honestly thought that if I just waited there a few minutes, SOMEONE would pop out with a hidden camera and some release forms, and I was deeply comforted by the thought of not signing those release forms and suing the shit out of them instead. No hidden cameras. Just the amused look on the face of the guy spinning a big promotional cardboard arrow a few feet away, which: Yes. His life has probably not really gone the way he planned it either, but maybe snickering at strangers in desperate need of... Read more →