Crying Uncle
In a Word: Uhh.

Only the Author of This Website Could Turn a Head Cold Into a Three-Day Baby-Snot Crisis

We're doing much better today. And it's thanks in no small part to all the suggestions offered after yesterday's post, which (you may have noticed) I wrote shortly after losing my damn mind.


1) SudaCare Shower Soothers. You go buy some of these now, holy god. So, so great.

2) No Dairy, You Stupid Dipshit. Yeah. That one was my bad, Noah.

2) Chicken Broth. Noah (of course) refused to take it from a spoon or a cup, but loved crackers dunked in broth, and ate many of them while I wept with joy, because now his body won't have to feed off that one last baby fat roll on his thigh.

3) Just Chill The Fuck Out And Feed The Child Donuts If That's What He'll Eat. After the success of the broth crackers, I felt less guilty feeding Noah microwaved Sweetzels Spiced Wafers.

My doctor echoed pretty much everything else you guys mentioned. (I did call -- he agreed with my gut instinct that it's just a virus, but didn't blame me for questioning that instinct after 48 hours of no sleep and nerve endings dulled by OTC decongestants.)  So today we still have gobs of snot and some fussiness, but the fever is gone and, thanks to some weird green veggie juice from Trader Joe's that Noah inexplicably loves, so is the dehydration fear. (He HATES Pedialyte. HATES. And he HATES you for trying to give it to him.)

Oh, plus he slept through the night last night, which meant I slept through the night, which means I feel slightly better than death-on-toast. 


We have all been officially upgraded to death-on-blueberry-waffles.



So glad you guys are feeling better!


Death on blueberry waffles sounds absolutely scrumptious. :)


I wonder if that no-dairy-when-cold rule works on adults as well, because if it does... well, I've just learned something new on how to take care of myself, thanks to you and your readers.

Glad that Noah is feeling better and eating better.

And a reading baby picture is just too precious for words.

Sarah Marie

Look at those FEET!

I'm glad you're all on the upswing. Blueberry waffles--definitely an improvement!


I hope you move on to a new and better level of death soon. Death on a margarita? I don't know. Can it get better than blueberry waffles?

I'm so glad I didn't suggest Pedialyte. What morons suggested THAT? Sheeeeesh! Kidding. Bygones. Don't hate me. I was KIDDING. GAWD.

Anyway, feel GREAT soon!

heather b (the other one)

man! i sure wish i had blueberry waffles. or pedialyte.

and there is nothing better than a Small Toddler Reading a Book.


So glad the Noahalah is feeling better--go mommy for figuring out what would taste good to a sick little guy.

And i love, love, love, pics of babies reading. Cutest Noah picture ever.


I've been wondering about those shower soothers and if they were as dumb as they looked. I guess not. But can you use them if you don't have a giant 4 person shower? Knowing me I'd step on it, slip and fall and crack my head open and die. But that's just me.

Amy H.

yipee! Glad to hear things are getting better. I still think you need a "sick day" and Jason should take care of him. But that is just me...because I have had a sick baby all week and need a break. so am projecting. We are worried about dehydration right now also. Except my baby is 4.5 months old, so basically I just have to keep trying to nurse until she quits screaming at me and finally eats...still waiting...

so happy for you and Noah!


You are not the only one who has found a way to turn illness into an extended post series. I didn't comment yesterday since I was so obviously failing in my quest to get everyone better in my own house.

Pedialyte has never been popular over here. We sometimes resort to Gatorade. Of course, I screwed up the energy to make it to the grocery store and forgot the Gatorade. And the Benylin Vapor tabs (it's a Canadian thing, but think Vicks Vaporub Plug-ins).

Brain still not functioning.


Awwww, so glad Amalah and Toddleralah are feeling better. :)


Welcome back to the world of the living!
Glad to hear that things are looking up.

Nicole P.

Noah is the cutest living creature on this planet.

That is all.


He so looks like, "What in the heck did Clifford and T-Bone get into now? Dude! You're a big red dog! Chill the heck out!"


Oh, and Pedialyte is the urine of Satan. It always made my kids vomit, one just from the sheer SMELL of it.


Arrrhg, oh lord, that picture is making my ovaries ache *and I already have a 9 month old*!!! Now I'm off to buy those shower soothers because I'm sick and they sound ideal.


Me want cookie! Also, glad ya'll are back to snot level orange.


He still looks so tiny there! Oh! Little Noahlah.

I'm glad y'all feel better.


He's studying that book so diligently. I'm glad you guys are both feeling (somewhat) better. Blueberry waffles are definitely an upgrade from toast.


I am glad to hear that he is feeling better. How is he still so darn cute, even when he has been sick??


So glad you are feeling better!

And that pic of Noah is so, so cute. I love the mussed up bed-head...he's gonna be a heartbreaker one day!


Michael hates pedialyte also. Both the drink and the popsicles. Yet, he loves veggie booty, which I think tastes like fish food and smells vile.
I'll have to try the veggie juice from trader joes. There should be a whole line of toodler approved products!
Oh, and I should have said this yesterday. Sundafed makes plug ins that are great also. They are like the shower things but you plug it in to a socket in the room and it acts like a vaporizer, but works better.


Noah has the most scrumptious looking feet! Glad he's feeling a little better.


To me, he's chomping on that binky like a tiny Edward G. Robinson.

"See here, you rotten head cold. My mudder's gonna whip you into shape here. She knows what's what and if you think you can stick around here for days on end, you got another think comin'"


Nobody likes pedialyte. And that should be the first sentence in every single how to parent book made.


I'm convinced frozen blueberry waffles have healing powers. the girl got me sick, so I've been surviving off them all day.

Heather B.

Oh excellent! Because the snot kind of ruins the whole Blues Clues watching experience.



omg I love him.
I'm so glad you're both feeling better. I've got three kids (11, 9 & 5). Your post brought back many memories (good & bad LOL!)


I'm so glad you two are feeling better.
Now, please go tickle his feet for me.


Well, if Noah is any indication of what death on blueberry waffles looks like, I'll take some of that.

Also, glad the suggestions helped and that everyone is feeling better today!!


Good lord! Where did that child get all that hair? Its the most adorable thing I've ever seen.

Glad everyone is feeling better. Perhaps next stop would be clinging-to-life-on-blueberry-waffles-maybe-with-

Kir Royale

Those feet! Those eyebrows! That crooked pacifier and intense expression! De-lish.

Glad you're all feeling better.


I've taken over the 'death on toast' status from you. My snotty head dreams of being upgraded to 'death on blueberry waffles' soon. Or maybe 'death on homemade pancakes.' Hmmm.


I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that photo!!!


Glad everyone is feeling better! Nothing make me feel more like poo than a bad cold, so I'm sure that's magnified many times when you're only 1-and-a-bit.

I'm slightly worried that I want to eat Noah's weeny little toes. It'll pass. Won't it?


OK--so they helped you, now PLEASE help me.

We're going through the same thing with our 7-month-old. Except we took him to the doctor last week and she said he's sick . . .drink fluids . . .and so when he stayed sick and got sicker I had too much pride to go back in. Long story short ended up in the ER last night when my peanut spiked a 104 fever and was inconsolable. Turns out he has a raging ear infection, and aren't I a great mommy for being more worried about what my DR thinks than how my son feels.

Anywhoo. . . the SudaCare Shower Soothers--did you just use that for you, or did you bring Noah in for some of the soothing goodness as well. I'm thinkin' about buying it to mend my own snot, but was wondering whether it's o.k. for the little ones.

Oh and one more question . . . you think the no diary applies to 7-month olds as well, b/c that's kind of the majority of the little mans diet.

Thanks for any info you can provide, and glad you guys are feeling better.


OMG. He is so darned cute. Glad you are all on the mend.

Daily Tragedies

Yay! Glad y'all are feeling better!

Also, I'm very impressed with Noah's reading abilities -- I liked to read books upside down. Starting from the back. (Surprisingly, I am not at all dyslexic.)


Very glad to hear that Noah is feeling much better today. And, yeah, those shower thingys are awesome!


So i'm guessing from reading your post, and EVERYONE's comments that my child is the only child on EARTH that will drink pedialyte voluntarily...

I always knew he was strange!!

P.S. Love that pic!! soooo cute!


Yeah, we don't tolerate pedialyte over here either. But that Vitamin Water stuff? Both girls (28 mos and 12 mos) will drink that when they won't touch anything else. The older one calls it red juice and purple juice and she loves it more than chocolate.

Also, beyond showers and broth, I try and do lots of warm foods. Anything that gets the little noses running. Even warm milk works - at least gets crud flowing, even if it creates more.

And Lindsey, honey, every mama at one point or another lets the munchkin get too sick (or climb too high or whatever) just because someone made them doubt themselves. Cut yourself some slack and snuggle him close. And give him whatever he wants, even if it is more milk.


with that last photo I am afraid I have to inform you that you have exceeded your cute qoutient for this blog by 690935923% apologies for this unfortunat event


The toes? And that squinchy face? While reading? I've fallen over and died from the cuteness. So glad everyone's on the road to recovery.


Lindsay - I took Noah in the shower with me and held him when I used the Soothers. It dissolves completely in about five minutes, and contains no medicine. It's just menthol and eucalyptus, like those vapor bath things they sell for babies. I think they work better, though, because of the steam a shower creates that a bath doesn't.

And I wouldn't worry too much about the dairy thing for a 7-month-old. Babies that little need milk or formula, whereas a 14-month-old can eat plenty of other things to make up for a couple days without his yogurt and cheese.

And what Lizneust said -- definitely cut yourself some slack. Sounds like you did everything right. Those ear infections fake us out every time.


Hi! Daily reader but never posted a comment before.
All my comments belong to Dave Barry, except this -

I made the pic of Noah reading a book my desktop picture.

It's beyond words in adorableness.

Thanks for sharing your life with us. :)


That is an awesome expression on Noah's face. He's just 2 months younger than my Clementine. But she has that same color pacifier, and that picture reminds me of her. Goo!


Glad you guys are feeling better. And I can't believe he has such big feet. He's just too cute.


Noah is ADORABLE death on blueberry muffins. Amy! He has enough hair for it to look a little messy!! He's so OLD! *lol* The expression on his face is awesome!

Glad the worst is over.


Gosh he looks scrumptious in that picture. Also teenier and more vulnerable, makes me want to scoop him up and smoosh him =) So glad he's feeling better!


I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I LOVE YOUR KID. I'd scoop him up if I didn't have one just like him on my hip already. Glad he's a trooper.


I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I LOVE YOUR KID. I'd scoop him up if I didn't have one just like him on my hip already. Glad he's a trooper.

Katie Kat

Ewwwwwww... no Pedialyte. You gotta get the Gerber stuff. Something something Liquilytes something-or-other. Or something.

My head feels like my toddler has been picking at it with a ball-peen hammer. And now I have to go to my mother's house... with the baby... and set up her computer... while my nose runs and my head pounds and my ears sweat (yes, I said sweat). And drinking only makes me feel worse, so screw that.

Oh, and she's on a diet, so she won't eat pizza with me. Shit.

I think I'm at the "death on a melba toast" stage.


Hey, I thought you were a slave to the Ivins Spiced Wafers? Are they being marketed differently? I have six brand new boxes of the Ivins, because you got me hooked on THEM!
Amy, are the Sweetzels more fabulous than the Ivins??!


Glad to hear that the troops are all stable today! I love the look on his face in the pic! He's kinda giving the book the look of doubt!


OMG, Noah looks so sweet there I could die. Poor baby, he looks like he has been ill, but is feeling better and Aaww, he is trying to look at his little book. I could just die!

yet another from the legions of Amys

Cold + cow dairy (not human dairy!) = big nasty phlegm-ball of misery, for babies AND adults


So glad you are feeling more human today Amy and Noah!

And that is one cute picture! I could never get my girls to take the pacifier, and I always loved how cute babies look with them in their mouths.

Naughty Heather

Glad you guys are feeling better - I don't know who invented these "viruses" but dude, seriously, enough is enough!

Hang in there!


So glad you are on the mend.

Sweet hedhead Noah!


Glad to hear everyone is feeling better. Don't worry Amy, soon you'll look back at this and laugh as you scrape dried mucus off your furniture. It doesn't get better; I've caught my 7 year old wiping his face on the couch when he thought I wasn't looking.



Thank you for posting pics of your beautiful boy ... he is such a doll. And I'm glad you're both feeling better :)


My husband has been using the SudaCare Shower Soothers and the package we have says, in bold, "Not for use with children under 12 years of age." That's probably just because a little kid might try to touch it or put it in his mouth, though, and not because of the vapors.


You have the most beautiful boy, ever. Seriously. Look at those feet!


What a sweet pic! Love the crooked binky! ;)


Hey, Amy!
Long time lurker of your blog. Love, love, love it.

So glad you and Noah are feeling better. There is nothing worse than a sick toddler!!

Take care,


This may sound strange but man I love that kid. Not in a weird psycho way either. In the I'm a mom times 3 and everytime I read about him I just think Awww I love that little guy :)

I'm glad things are starting to clear up. Sleep is always so helpful.


Glad you both are better. I love the pic with the slightly messy hair. You can tell he's on the upswing.

I think I caught your cold over the Internet.



Hoping the chook (and you guys) are feeling much better very soon.


Thanks to Montezuma - we have drunk a LOT of Pedialyte this year and Im with Noah: its THE single most disgusting thing in the world. Like drinking glue or worse. :-)

Blueberry waffles on the other hand . . .


That is the MOST precious baby picture I've EVER seen on this website. OMG, you can't tell he's sick, he looks just like a little MAN!!! Readin' his book! Too friggin' cute for words!


Pedialyte bad. Have you tasted the stuff?!(eeeewww). My guy would never touch it and I don't blame him. Save the money and try water instead. Don't tell the food police, but juice is okay too. If you do get stressed and do that "but it says use Pedialyte!!" freak out (not that I've ever done that, no) get the frozen pop kind. They are on the order of "does this taste funny to you?" rather than "OMG what is in this stuff?"

Good luck on the creeping cruds. Never fun.

Katie Kat

Oh... and P.S. Those Sudacare shower thingys are DISGUSTING! I put one in my shower and spent the whole time gagging and swiping at my watering eyes. They smell like monkey vomit and sweaty fat feet and they BUUUUURRRRRRRNNNN! Never ever will I use them again. But, that's just me...


I can't deal with that picture. You have to take it down. Because. I can't deal with it.




must raid pantry and open my box...


Oh man, I LOVE the way the Sudacare things smell. But then again, I love the way Vicks Vaporub smells. Which is pretty much the same smell. And burning? Hmm. Mine were really mild and didn't even faze Noah.

Are there different kinds? Esp. since I re-checked our box after reading Emilie's comment and ours only say "Keep out of reach of children" but nothing about children under 12.

Anyway. Rambling. Tired. Why is it only 7 pm? Why is it not time for bed yet?


That is the cutest picture ever...

Also, Noah might be too little yet, but my kids would NOT EVER drink Pedialite either, but they will eat the the Pedialite popsicles...


Best photo ever.


I've just started reading your blog, and never commented before, but you have the CUTEST boy EVER.......what an absolute doll! So sorry to hear about the river of daughter's 4 and I know all too well about that green river.

Mitch McDad

Great decriptions of the hell that is "sick child." Is there a worse pain?? I doubt it.


His hair looks so curly!


OMG, the boy is adorable. Glad to hear that things are going better.


So glad that little cutie is feeling better! And you, too, Amalah! LOVE the picture!


He has that sweaty head look, the look that is ONLY cute on babies. And he is SO CUTE!

Kim at allconsuming

Stop packing and caring for the sick but still adorable child and post. POST I beg you!


I'm glad to hear that you guys are feeling a little better. Sick babies are no fun. Sick mommies and daddies are even less fun!!


glad you're both well. I think Noah is the cutest baby boy on this planet. Love the photo of him in this entry.

Her Bad Mother

Once you've reached death on blueberry waffles it's not too far to death with maple syrup and death with whipped cream. Both of which are better than hell on biscuits.

So sorry about the snot. Been there, sucked that.


What is up with not posting? Come on Amalah, we miss you!


Amalah- where are you? i've been in grad school hell for the past 3 months. I can finally read you and you haven't updated in 5 days!!! I've already completely caught up in your archives too! please post!


Mmmmm....blueberry waffles.

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