Status Report re: Operation Best Parents Ever
From the Management

Weekend Report: I Just Never Learn


No wait, let's try that in Swedish:



Enough said.

Except that I got a pot rack for $9.99, a really cute clock that ticks SO! FREAKING! LOUD! and a dozen picture frames in a size I do not have any pictures for, like fuck, dude.

Oh. And did you know the post office sends you coupons when you move? Including a 20% off coupon for IKEA?

Did you know that coupon does you no good if you leave it at home?

Oh. And we bought Noah a giant inflatable turtle. Because we really, really suck at the whole "OMG HE LIKES IT LOOK HE SMILED AT IT WE MUST BUY IT SO HE MAY IGNORE IT COMPLETELY ONCE IT IS TAKING UP COPIOUS SPACE IN OUR LIVING ROOM" thing.


Still, is pretty cute, no?

Hint! It inflates with a hair dryer and not by blowing into it for 20 minutes, dumbass.



My Mom still does that thing with me ("Oh you liked it! I'll buy it for you!") and I'm 21 years old. It's not like I mind though...

Wacky Mommy

Second? I am so cool. The turtle is cute, but not as cute as The Turtle.


I want a turtle like Noah's! Of course, it would probably scare the shit out of our cats. :p


It's impossible to go into Ikea and not buy a load of shit that you don't need - I have an iron holder thingy that's still in it's wrapper. I bought it about 2 years ago...


LOVE the Ikea! Totally understand about the picture frames though...are they in bizarro metric sizes in the States too, or is that just in Canada and Europe? Whatever. It's so so not helpful to know that a picture frame is 12cm x 18.6cm...what would be the problem with 4" x 6"??? Anyway, great turtle. I do that same thing with my dog. He ignores everything we buy him in favour of fun toys like the ceramic knobs that we replaced with "brushed nickel". Yes, his favourite toys are his knobs. And we still buy him whatever he looks longingly at in any pet store. We are well well trained dog parents.


Reading this, I was just gripped by an all-consuming need to go to IKEA. Because I haven't been in like, 6 months, and they might have a new cheap piece of useless crap I didn't see last time. And I need some little throw rugs. God, IKEA is a relentless seductress.

Noah looks as if he's totally used to massive inflatable turtles crowding his play space.


Totally understand the need for IKEA. It's a good thing our closest one is several hours ride. My husband is terrified when I go in.

The turtle is adorable and we do the same thing with our son. He smiled at it, therefore he must have it!! Giving him everything he needs and lots of stuff he doesn't care about.


Oh my Lord I love IKEA.

Oh my Lord I hate clocks that tick loudly.


I don't have an IKEA near me and therefore have nver been. But I am always intrigued by your purchases and have a great longing to go someday, for I am lacking in Swedish crap. Though my husband is (part) Swedish and we have Lutefisk every Christmas Eve. I think that could count as crap.


The turtle is cute, but Noah is cuter.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who goes shopping just because she received a coupon and then forgets said coupon.


You may not be good at "OMG HE LIKES IT LOOK HE SMILED AT IT WE MUST BUY IT SO HE MAY IGNORE IT COMPLETELY ONCE IT IS TAKING UP COPIOUS SPACE IN OUR LIVING ROOM" but Noah looks to have mastered his end of the deal. Totally ignoring that cute turtle.

Our IKEA is 3.5 hours away and across an international border. Haven't been in years, in part because the mention of IKEA sends my husband into his diatribe of all the unused, unpainted, unassembled IKEA crap sitting in the basement. That we MOVED from the last basement. Had to have it.


Hey, ya know, at least you left the coupon at HAVE to go back now.

AND! I just moved to Frisco, TX, where there's an Ikea only 5 beautiful miles from my house. Life is grand!


Oh how I love IKEA. One of the big selling points of The New House was that IKEA is only, like 10 minutes away. *sigh*


what you really need from ikea, or rather Noah needs is either the train set (my son loves his) and the wooden crane (he also loooooves this.) the most played with toys this xmas.


You got the big inflatable turtle ... I ended bringing home a big gorilla with a heart that says "Love You" yesterday. We should have "sucker" across our foreheads.


Yeah, I got burned by that IKEA frame thing, too. They ONLY fit their pictures. What a pain. Are pictures different sizes in Sweden, or something?


I like going into Ikea to buy small things. I fear going to Ikea to buy furniture more than I fear going to the dentist. Much more, actually. And yet, sometimes it has to be done. *shudder*


dude! we just moved too and only got a 10% coupon to ikea from the post office. we got shafted! wtf.


I feel you on IKEA and never learning one's lesson. We spent $126 there two weeks or so ago, and we will be returning 80% of it like the dumbasses we are.


I'm jealous - no IKEA anywhere even remotely close...


Something to add to the "con" list about living in Missouri: no Ikea. I r gelus.


Okay, am I the only person who noticed that the masthead picture of you and this one of Noah have EXACTLY.THE.SAME.EXPRESSION?


Too cute!
(PS Luuurve Ikea.)


Aww man! I'm so jealous! I wish we had an Ikea anywhere around here. And really, I'd be willing to drive...far. I'd also be willing to drag my husband along to carry all the heavy things.

Amy H

OH! Thanks for clearing up the mystery of the big turtle-thing. Someone gave it to us when Avery was born (but it wasn't inflated) and we had NO IDEA what to do with it. Wasn't sure if you buy a bean bag and stuff it or what. we are dumbasses. You and your infinite wisdom have solved our mystery.


I can't really get past that first adorable pic of The Original Turtle. Damn cute. Your inflatable turtle, on the other hand, looks perfect to lean up against and watch some Tivo.


Thankfully since I've moved IKEA is too far away for me to go. I do secretly drool over the catalog every now and then...

Look at Noah making the same face his mommy is in her queen of everything picture! How cute is that?!


what about the mugs? did you get any?


The turtle is so cute! I know what you mean about taking up space though. That's why all the big toys are in the playroom in our house. I only have the babys toys downstairs right now!

samantha jo campen

Well duh, how could you NOT buy the turtle?



No wait, let's try that in Swedish:


THIS is why you're awesome. Teh funny, it makes us laugh!

Although, I don't get the IKEA thing. I never have. I can get cheap, assemble it yourself, particle board funrniture anywhere, and it doesn't matter where it came from, I'll still hate it.


i can't buy clocks from IKEA. they're just too damn loud.


nancy - Yes! We got mugs! And dishes! To replace our wedding dishes which are the reason I sometimes contemplate getting divorced just so we can get remarried and register for new ones.

Also: shelves for the playroom and a TV stand for our bedroom and mirror for my dresser and some knobs. Which I bet Noah would also like to play with, like Eva's son.

I am actually getting ready to start assembling the TV stand now. Pray for me.


Ok, it's actually my DOG who likes the knobs! I have no son...but it's nice to know that if I do he will reach the same developmental stage as my dog after about a year and a half. My husband and I are actually even bigger suckas than you because we buy all that crap for our DOG!!


Duh! Sorry Eva. I totally knew that too, and yet I still spaced and typed it wrong. Probably because I was too busy giggling over the word KNOBS.



Nothing But Bonfires

WHAT??? I just spent an INSANE amount of money at Ikea (on two occasions! Insane both times!), although I did get the pot rack (though WTF? mine was $19.99!), and the coupons the post office gave ME last week did NOT include an Ikea one! I only got stupid Home Depot!



(I am procrastinating, can you tell? I am thinking if I dick around on the Internet long enough the TV stand will assemble itself?)


Ok, my husband and I giggle over Carson's LOVE of his knob EVERY DAY! This seriously never gets old for us, we are that fun.


I bought the Ikea inflatable hedgehog. For myself. I am 27 years old. And live in a studio apartment. I had to, it's just too cute.


I also own a tremendous amount of IKEA picture frames of unusual size. I have arguments with people after I say "And these are the stupid IKEA frames that aren't 8x10."

"Yes they are."

"No they aren't."


With that blonde hair, Noah looks Swedish!


What does the turtle do? A bed? A chair?


whooops way too cute. I sometimes wish we had ikeas and targets where I live. Sigh

heather b (the other one)

nothing like ikea. i have a deep and unhealthy worship for that place.


I'm glad it was a hair-dryer. I'd shudder to picture someone blowing a turtle. Fundamentally wrong.


HAHAHAHAHA Kristen... "...blowing a turtle. Fundamentally wrong." BWAHAHAHAHA.


I totally have that clock. I had to turn it off.


I am waiting so very impatiently for an Ikea to come to our area.


Wow!I just noticed the similarity in looks between the picture of NOah in the trolley and the picture of you (I assume)as a child in your blog title.Wow!!!He is your clone!


Awesome! I agree that IKEA clocks are loud. I've even put fabric over the motor part in the back.

Amy rocks!

Sorry, feel like gushing. Maybe I had a martini too many? Too early?

Never know, willya?


Oh? And the IKEA pic of Noah? It rocks.


2) Wish Ikea would open a store in Brazil!
3) Missed your writing over the weekend! (do not worry, I am NOT a stalker! Just quite entertained by your blog with cute pictures of Noah!)


Ikea? What is this Ikea that you speak of?
This is the second time in about an hour that
I've read about how awesome Ikea is, and I've never even heard of it. I totally need
to google this.


Did you discover that before you'd blown it up or after?


So, was this Noah's first trip to Ikea?

I've told my husband several times that we should divorce and remarry to create a new registry but he seems to think it's duplicitous and lacks devotion to our current marital state. Huh? Doesn't he want more free stuff? Sheesh.

Your boy is such a cutie!


I just think it's cute how Noah's expression kinda matches your baby pic up there, and that they're right next to each other.


ACK! Hide your posters email addresses dude! Else I'll forward you all my resulting spam :p

Heather B.

Dude! When were you in Ikea?? I went there too and bought a whole bunch of shit I don't really need. Next time we can make it a group trip.


Oops! The turtle! Looks cute - BUT! when a kid is sitting on it, if anyone else sits on it the child flies off. How did I discover this? Why of course with my 2 - after I saw my younder one flyyyyyyyyyyyyying off.


Aborable Turtle + Adorable Noah = who cares about how much space it takes up... what baby wants, baby gets!
I've done it a hundred times, we'll do it 1000 more!


Ikea- great mids think alike. We went also- we got a red plastic piggy bank for a couple of dollars.


I went to Ikea for the first time over the weekend. I love the place. I was very glad I brought the baby and stroller - I didn't have enough hands to buy everything I wanted. I'm going back Thursday without the baby and I plan on buying all the curtains, all the baby items, a couch or 2, an entertainment center, a couple of tables, and maybe some chairs.


is that from IKEA??


I miss having three Ikeas within 1.5 hours of my house! We'd been talking road trip to Atlanta for more Billy bookcases (the DVD collection is stored in them) when they announced that one is going up in Orlando. Woohoo!

Yes, we'd buy the useless crap, too. However, now that I work for the mecca of home furnishings, the sway of Ikea is not as strong...


That is the coolest Turtle ever.


Oh my god, i don't know if anyone else mentioned this but... Noah looks just like YOU in the picture to the left... same facial expression!!


That's not Swedish.... *knows because I live there* :DDDDD
No matter how you plan your IKEA-visit, writing shopping-lists and so on...The reciept is TRICE the amount you planned it to be. It's a f*cking mystery!! No wonder Kamprad is a very rich man.


what fun would life be if we didn;t learn? Love the pics! I am totally quilty of buing abbie things because she liked it in the store and we don;t have room for more stuff!!!

bad penguin

I went to Ikea this weekend with my mom. It was awful. She couldn't find what she wanted (and also, she kept getting turned around and going the wrong way. Read the signs mom!) and I stupidly wore high heeled boots because I forgot how you have to walk 47 miles in Ikea. By the end I was tired, cranky at my mom, and my feet hurt. I wish someone had bought me a big inflatable turtle.


Awww... that's a terrific turtle. I like to go to Ikea because I can get two hotdogs and a pop for $2. That's value, if you ask me!


Every time I try to look at Ikea's website, it's down. It makes me angry. I have yet to go into the store, although I am eagerly anticipating the day that I get to try the meatballs!


Dude, my brother just got an awesome job at IKEA and now I get 15% off everything. As if I needed another reason to buy all our furniture there. AS IF!

Elle Kasey

I believe I bought that clock at IKEA. I have to rely on my memory because the first night I had it I chucked it in a drawer in the guest room because I could not handle the Tell-Tale Heart ticking!


Hi! I think I missed de-lurking last week because I was sick. Anyway, I just had to comment on the cute IKEA picture. Noah is so cute! And in that pic, he really looks like you in your sidebar. I love your blogs!

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