A Letter to the Myself of One Year Ago
The High Hallmark Holiday

Different Year, Same Recycled Pile of Neuroses

Hello! I have been sick as a dog since...oh, Wednesday night or so. And contemplating that great mystery of motherhood, the way your child gets a slight runny nose -- an almost poetic runny nose, like a single tear on the cheek of a romance novel heroine, dampening the shoulder of her star-crossed lover like it slimes your shirt and upholstered furniture -- but then 24 hours later you're the one hacking up a damn lung.

I'm feeling better today, except for having absolutely no voice left. And laryngitis plus a toddler? Boy fucking howdy, let me tell you what an awesome combination that is.

Noah! Stop climbing on that! Sit down! Bottom down! No! No no no!

Phonetic version:
Noaacch! Steeehhdat! It! Ot! Naaeeegh *fit of coughing*

I've taken to pelting Fisher Price Little People at his butt to get his attention, and don't you fucking judge me. I will come to your house and lick your telephone, swear to God.

Anyway! Absolutely nothing of interest has happened to me in days, except for my triumphant achievement of playing Trivial Pursuit with other adults on Friday night and remaining relatively low-key throughout the entire affair. (I am disgustingly competitive, in case you didn't know, and when I called Jason and told him we'd been invited to a Game Night he asked if I'd disclosed my little problem to the hostess, and even when I said yes he made me hand the phone to her so he could make sure she understood just how unhinged I get.) But I did great! And my team lost! And Jason's team won! And yet I did not throw vodka in anyone's face or threaten divorce or ANYTHING.

Jason thinks it was the cold meds. He is probably right.

(Am withholding sex anyway, but at least I can pretend it's out of concern for his health.)

Okay, so besides that, nothing has happened. Oh! Except that I got tagged for the Six Weird Things About Me meme by Her Bad Mother. And I kind of had the feeling I did it already, but since my site is a mammoth testament to Why You Should Always Use Categories And Have A Search Function, it took me forever to determine that yes! I did do this one already. And yet it has come back to me again. I'm going to try to not read into that too much, but instead am going to take it as a compliment, or perhaps a sign that I am the CHAMPION OF THIS MEME, AND IN FACT, I WIN THE INTERNET.

So...uh. Six MORE weird things about me!

1) I enjoy showtunes. I have occasionally been known to buy a Broadway soundtrack or seven. Although once I got married I mostly stopped, because everybody knows the REAL joy in listening to Broadway soundtracks comes from lip-synching along in front of your bathroom mirror or maybe -- just maybe -- re-enacting Eponine's death from Les Miserables dramatically in your living room. This gets much harder to do when you live with someone else, particularly someone else who is under the impression that you are sane and not the sort of person who still fantasizes about playing Little Orphan Annie and knows all the choreography to Hard Knock Life.

2) I have, however, performed the occasional song-and-dance number for Noah.

3) It should also be noted that I have a terrible, terrible voice.

4) I also enjoy those cake-decorating competitions on the Food Network. Sometimes I wonder if I missed my calling simply because it never occurred to me that professional cake decorating was an option, and whether it's too late to launch a new career, and if the professional cake decorating world is being flooded with amateurs now because of people watching that show and thinking back to how much they rocked at Play-Doh.

5) Every cake I have ever made was decorated with canned frosting, which I guess goes along with weird thing #3: Totally Unqualified Delusions of Grandeur.

6) My all-time favorite foods are probably Brussels sprouts, black olives, foie gras, roasted duck breast in a balsamic fig reduction and Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.


(Hates everything on that list. Actually, hates all foods and food-type products, unless we're including crayons.)

(Wait. Am I supposed to tag people? Okay...um, you're ALL TAGGED. If you decide to play, leave a link to your entry in the comments and we'll all come laugh at your weirdness, and we'll see how long it takes for this meme to either come back to me or vanish into that good night, where overplayed memes and bad Quizilla surveys go to die.)



{{{{{{{{{HUGS AMY}}}}}}}}}

(*then bursts into Annie's "Easy Street"*)(the 1982 movie edition, b/c seriously? CAROL BURNETT IS MY FAVORITE)

I think I could not possibly enjoy a stranger and her antics more and then you basically tell the entire internet how I spent every Saturday night while I was in high school. and college. and perhaps law school. and perhaps now.

I was SO GOOD at acting out Eponine's death. I could even play BOTH roles!

hope you feel better-- Noah NEEDS his broadway musical education!


I cannot resist the siren call of 0 comments.

I am astounded Brussels sprouts are one of your favorite foods. I didn't think such a thing was possible although I'm totally with you on the duck and the foie and the olives. How do you cook those sprouts?


I am constantly being told I look like Carol Burnett. Is that a compliment?

(please say yes)


I would never judge you for pelting your son in the butt with Fisher-Price people- in fact I can think of a few people I would like to pelt myself...
Sign me up for the meme!


Now I wish I had some Little People.

I don't have a blog, but I love Annie, the cake decorating competitions and brussel sprouts, roasted or sauteed with walnuts. Even my non-sprout loving friends liked them.

Also, I DECORATE CAKES!!! Not as well as the challenges, but I definitely get a lot of ideas and inspiration. Hell, I even think, "I can do that". Then I start to hyperventilate.


ozma: I cook the sprouts the way all good things are cooked: with BACON.

Theresa: Yes. Definitely a yes. And please tell me you've dressed as her Scarlett O'Hara for Halloween at least once in your life.


One advantage to a C-section is that you don't wet your pants every time you cough up a lung.

By the way, 2 babies here, no c-sections and sorely tempted to invest in Depends during cough and cold season.


I actually just did this one last week! I struggle with delusions of grandeur, too, although mine are of the huge rock star grammy winning songwriter huge tribute to my career in 50 years variety. And I, too, am a horrible singer.

Black Belt Mama

I absolutely LOVE that show on Food Network too. Did you see the one two weeks ago with the wedding cake? The one that won was AMAZING and chocolate.


I actually just did this one last week! I struggle with delusions of grandeur, too, although mine are of the huge rock star grammy winning songwriter huge tribute to my career in 50 years variety. And I, too, am a horrible singer.


Count me in.
And I love showtunes, and Brussels Sprouts, and my kids are already quite accustomed to Mom's big Broadway production numbers. Yep. Total geek. Can't help it, and probably wouldn't even if I could.


I am humming Hard Knock Life under my breath right now. My students are looking at me like I am crazy. My husband thought I was hurt on Saturday when I was taking a shower - I was singing show tunes. The GRease reality show on NBC has totally refueled my unrealistic dream to be on Broadway - I can't sign to save my life! last night I was watching and thinking, man if they do this again I should try out..> Yeah RIGHT!!!


I'm with you on the cake decorating...I watch Ace of Cakes all the time and the one where they 6 different bakers compete with the different themes. It's awesome...however I opened my mouth saying the same thing and got a cake decorating set for this past Christmas, and my first one was crap!


It could be worse, you could be chucking empty bottles of Nyquil at him.


Had I been a man, I would have been gay because I love showtunes. And Judy Garland.

And I spend entirely too much time watching those cake decorating competitions.


I participated in the "6 Weird Things" just a few months, so I'm going to be lazy and give you that link, instead of six NEW ones. I'm sure you understand. :)



If you like showtunes, you should definitely get (if you don't already have) Sandra Boynton's Philadelphia Chickens. Super fabulous showtunes which pretend to be kids music. My 17 month old is currently in love with this book/music.


omg...word to #4...and i can top it. last night i watched the chocolate runway show...where they had to make dresses made of chocolate and the models had to wear them on the runway. it was awesome. it was like cacke decorating and america's next top model all rolled into one pathetic show...that i was freakin' glued to.


I have satelite radio and listen to the broadway channel all the time and know every song.

I also love the grease reality show.

Woman with Kids

I love the food network specials... I taped on last night on making chocolate dresses or somethig. I could do that...


No judging, but will you come over and lick my telephone anyway? I could really use some time off work.


Noah's all:
"I've finally realized my mom is a dork."

Don't worry, I've gotten that look many times from my son.

To add to the weirdness here, wanna hear about the time I got accidentally high?

Kristy G

I participated! Read me read me!

I love brussel sprouts too. I will literally buy the frozen, heat in microwave, and just dump parmesan cheese on them.

My Six Things:


I did this one a couple days ago...but here is the link!


And I think, it would be a WONDERFUL idea if you Vimeoed one of your song and dance numbers...or better yet? Tried out for AI with it next year. Could you imagine the liveblogging extravaganza while we watched your audition?!?


Am too sick to meme. Found a movie on the Hmong so I wouldn't have to lecture today. Throat hurts, head exploding. Weird thing #1 I found a movie on the Hmong people! Out.


I just did the meme...


There's my link.

Also? Totally love show tunes. Been dancing since I was 8 so I practically grew up with them. =) I think I need to go find my broadway CD now...


Also, Feel better soon! My boyfriends really sick too. Sorry you feel so bad. =(

Amy M

Love, love, love showtunes! My husband is in agony because I now have XM. With a channel entirely devoted to showtunes! Yay! My poor son is currently being "treated" to scenes from my new obsession, "Wicked". As soon as he can walk, however, I may find myself with a less attentive audience.


here's mine-



Mmmm, Brussels sprouts with bacon. Yes, I too love me some sprouts, roasted in the oven with balsamic viniagrette and crumbled bacon. And/or garlic, and/or onions.

I do not have a blog, so I cannot link to my six idiosyncracies, but the showtunes thing makes me worry about you.


Mmm sprouts and olives!

Have you tried roasted brussel sprouts? Heaven! Cut sprouts in half, 2-3 chopped garlic cloves, sprinkle with olive oil, season to taste (I use salt and pepper) and crumpled/chopped cooked bacon/pancetta (optional). Mix first four ingredients and place in baking dish. Put in 350° oven for 15-20 minutes (edges should look slightly brown), remove from oven, mix and add bacon/pancetta, return to oven another 5-10 minutes.

Have you seen Ace of Cakes? Love it.

Feel better.


ha! i've done the meme twice too. (and I tagged HBM. probably twice too).

with you on the cake shows. my favorite was the christmas gingerbread house one. i also adore ace of cakes, but wonder if that shit actually tastes any good.

Jenny H.

I can sing "Oklahoma"...does that count? I developed a taste for brussel sprouts when I was pregnant with my second son. But, I would only eat them with my Diddy's super-duper-mo-fo-bbq sauce. God, they were GOOD!!

Anyhoo, here is my list:


I have an unhealthy obsession with Broadway musicals as well. And I'm weird enough that I didn't wait for a meme to spew about it on my blog. Did it last week all on my own.

Jenny H.

Forgot about the sick thing-hope you feel better soon. We are all sick here too. Damn germs.


Having posted


Let's try that again.
Having posted

Mama T


The world would not be whole without brussel sprouts.

Katie Kat

Just a quick aside... I saw "VirginiaGal" and thought it said "VaginaGal" and I was all, uh, REALLY? That's a bold name to pick. But, as it turns out, I was just seein' things. I mean, unless Virginia Gal really does moonlight as Vagina Gal. Who knows? Anyway... nothing to see here. Move along -------------->


You know, I had foie gras at Le Cirque in NYC, back when it was still open, thinking, Hey! Foie gras from an upscale French place will be awesome! Except it wasn't and it was kind of gross and I didn't like it at all. Gag.

But I'm all about the mac and cheese.


Glad you're feeling better!!! And if you ever want new musicals I have about 150 that I can burn (yes, way new levels of loserdom).

I did the meme! megsmind.com


I'm gonna do it right now. I'm bored enough.


Sorry that you're sick--love hearing your oddities, though. Hey! How is that girl that you know doing on American Idol? Did she make it to HOLLYWOOD? Darling picture of The Boy.


I love those cake decorating shows as well! They are completely addictive. One time there was a short series on Bravo that followed people who entered the Betty Crocker Bakeoff and I was completely entranced. Also, there is a reality show that follows a cake decorator guy and his business - Ace of Cakes. It's really fun - on the Food Network, of course. Set your TiVo!

Wow, I had no idea I cared this much about cake decorating/baking shows until I wrote all this out. Scary!


First MEME ever. I am a tard. But thanks for sharing the special moment with me. I will never forget you.


First MEME ever. I am a tard. But thanks for sharing the special moment with me. I will never forget you.

Her Bad Mother

You are most certainly the undisputed Champion Of This Meme, and you do indeed WIN THE INTERNET.

HEAR THAT, INTERNET? You are now the property and sole responsibility of Amalah, Queen of Everything.

Also, you have saved the life of the One-Eyed Hawaiian Doll, or at least secured a new and better future for her. Good work.

Now, go and get you some yummy yummy brussels sprouts, with a side of K-Mac.


My friends stare in horror at me when I say they can keep the chocolate cake, but I'll eat an entire jar of olives instead. And I adore fois gras, deviled eggs, and artichokes. Have since I was 2. No lie.

I, uh, can also maybe kinda do the entirety of Eponine's performance. By heart, from memory, since I was 12. Which was...um...MANY years ago.

Her Bad Mother

Also? Your child has the hair that God intended for MY (follicly-challenged) child and I'm a little bit resentful of that. But he works it so well that I think I can forgive God for that oversight.

(God? Send more hair.)

Miss Britt

Oooh, Little People - excellent idea! I've been using Baby Slippers and My Little Pony hair brushes because - I am perfectly healthy, but my voice apparently is in an octave that my toddler is immune to.


I've never commented here, I don't think, but the Food Network Challenge dragged me out of the woodwork. LOVE IT. Thought I was the only one. I have the chocolate evening dresses episode on my TiVo. Can't wait. Also love Ace of Cakes (Duff's been on the Challenge several times!).

And Joy, I wondered the same thing about if it tastes good. I asked my brother the pastry chef and he said, and I quote "I'd rather eat toothpaste on carboard than fondant." So there you have it.


Okay, Hard Knock Life is the showtune equivalent of It's a Small World. Now I can't get it out of my head.


But I personally prefer Roxie from Chicago to belt out in the car. :)


Okay, I played too...you can check mine out at songofthemockingbird.blogspot.com

By the way, brussel sprouts are best eaten when covered completely in cheese sauce.


Eponines death is just so SAD! I totally hear you. I have plans to play Christine in the Phantom of the Opera and its all I can do not to inform everyone that I KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO THE ENTIRE SHOW.


Hmm would never have thought there were so many musical people around here! I've done 42 productions (in 12 years time). I stopped when I was about 19. Played little Cosette. Favorite all time musical: Sunday in the Park with George.

Also? Brussel Sprout lover. Roasted. Pretty much every green veggie but peppers. Next favorite is artichokes.


Noah's hair is long enough to make that mohawk (faux-hawk?) you talked about once before.




I begin to wonder if you are really supposed to share certain weird things about yourself...what the hell. I did the meme.
As for the Fisher Price pelting alert...my daughter was leaning into kiss me last night and I had the strangest sensation, she had a mouthful of spit and had sort of opened her mouth and let it cascade down my cheek and into my mouth. I realized my motherly love and acceptance stops just shy of welcoming foamy saliva into my mouth. I'm thinking I may reciporcate the next time she opts not to listen to me. Care to judge that? 2 1/2 is a whole different kind of fun. Feel better.


I am a meme whore.

And also, my favourite driving music is Les Mis and Phantom of the Opera, and I always, always sing Eponine and Marius's duet and get tearful on the last line when Eponine croaks.


I love showtunes. I used to check out the musical scores from the college library when I was in high school,to play them on the piano. so I also learned all the voice parts and can sing the instrumental parts too. It's not such a useful skill, but keeps me awake while driving on long roadtrips-I arrive hoarse.


I was soooo into show tunes when I was a teenager that I must have been the dorkiest dork that ever dorked (whatever THAT means). I listened to some of those cast recordings so many times that now, years later, I still have them memorized. Actually, I was running through the opening of "Master of the House" (the bit before the "Welcome, Monsieur/Sit Yourself Down") while I was in a meeting this morning. Boring meeting but also scary realization that I still know those words!

Anyway, I thought I'd also done the six weird things meme, but what I have actually done was a "ten things I bet I've done that you haven't" neener neener sort of thing. Close enough?


I did it too. For maybe the third time in a very short time period.

I love your site, sorry you are sick!


Tag, I'm it!


Hope you get your voice back soon!


Amalah, you of all politically correct people should know that Fisher Price does not refer to its figurines as Little People anymore but rather as Honkey Dwarves. And Bossy thinks they are perfectly OK to hurl.


Seriously...I feel so much better about myself knowing that there is someone else who has re-enacted Eponine's death (and, uh, many, many other Les Miserables scenes) in their living room.

Yes, even if it is still totally weird.


Here's mine:


Amy, based on your advice smackdown, my weird things would probably make you cringe!


Hmmm. This post has indicated that we must never play games together unless we are on the same team. I've been known to insist the Internet be consulted during a game of Scattergories to prove that a "jill" is indeed a female kangaroo. Because it IS, dammit!

Also, I'm totally with you on brussel sprouts (in butter, thank you) and foie gras (seared with huckleberry sauce, please)


I'm playing along. My pile of strangeness is here.


Okay, I'll bite.

Shameless Self Deprecation!!

Also, my Mom used to steam brussel sprouts in chicken stock so they were salty, and then when I went over my friend's house in first grade? And her mom made brussel sprouts? I jumped up and down and clapped my hands. Except that they were gross, and I felt like I had to eat them all because of my inane enthusiasm for BRUSSEL SPROUTS.

shy me

brussel sprouts? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!


I got tagged for the MeMe last week; it's in my blog.

I am also a closet Broadway starlet. Once, sitting in traffic, my father pulled up along side my car (total coincidence) and saw/heard me singing the the big "everyone sings!" song at the end of Act ! of Les Mis...He says it sounded like I was singing about 3 of the parts at once.

Good times...


Can't back down from that challenge. I mean, you tagged the whole internet thingy. Good work!

I too jumped on the meme bandwagon

Hope you're feeling better!


Oh man.
I am so weird



ok that link didn't work...

Lets try this one



I did this too...




Apparantly, I am dumb after a 6 hour nap.


So, this is the first time I have ever linked my page to anything (because, um yeah, it's brand new). But, I answered your me me...
Noah looks adorable...as always...


I'm normally a lurker, but I'm commenting to let you know that I'm writing this list right now on my livejournal. My username there is weird_cowgirl. No, I couldn't tell you why I'm not writing out the whole link, except maybe check 2 on the list.

Also, I'm not just sucking up on point 1. This is the only mommy blog I check regularly.


I did the meme: www.acharmedlife.typepad.com

Yes!! Love the showtunes. Worst part about getting sick for me is not being able to sing! Les Mis and Phantom are my faves to sing, too. And if there's mac and cheese afterwards, so much the better! Amy, I feel your pain, my DD gave me her cold and of course on me it's two weeks of bronchitis and counting. Hang in there! Feel better soon =)


I've posted my 6 things over at my blog (linky - http://kafaleni.wordpress.com/2007/02/13/6-weird-things-about-me/ )

Hope you're feeling better!


I can't believe no body had the balls/guts to mention in a snarky voice that THIS would've been a perfect time to use that baby sign language crap. Imagine flinging the Little Person and then being able to communicate why the Little Person was sacrificed.
I'm sure thats why it was invented...


I posted my 6 weird things.


I was finally inspired to do my 6 weird things.

Hope you feel better! Noah makes me squeal.


Okay first to Joy. For my wedding I had this big beautiful wedding cake covered in fondant and then I had a grooms cake that was chocolate covered in chocolate ganash. Of course we all know the chocolate on chocolate was amazing. However the fondant was about the worst thing ever. After my honey moon we brought the leftovers to work, and had to peel off the fondant to enjoy the rest of the cake.

Next, I don't know crap about show toons, but I once did a song and dance from the little Mermaid and can total recite, The Incredible's word-for-word.

Also all this talk about food, and olives is making me ultra starving, since I am sick and haven't eaten in three days so now I'm going to go make an olive sandwich. Don't judge me, they are good.


Here ya go...
My Six Weird Things.


Just wanted to say Hello.... THis is my first visit. Love it!

Fairly Odd Mother

OH, I love Brussel Sprouts---when I was single and had the time, I used to love to eat them leaf by tiny leaf. Now, I have no time, so I swallow them whole.

I was already tagged for this meme, but it was my first one (no longer a virgin), so here is the link. I was unnaturally excited about finally getting tagged, but I have a feeling I'll be cursing them soon enough:



Amalah - Love reading you! My 13 year old daughter is on this kick to try new foods. We have done the asaparagus, turnips, rutabagas and
now she wants to try brussel sprouts. I have asked at work for recipes and how to cook them and the only on I received was instructions to dig a hole in the back yard about 3 feet and bury them. Apparently people in eastern NC do not cook them. How do you cook them?


My friends and I used to blast Phantom of the Opera tunes from the car rather than rock. We really are geeks.

I've totally sang and danced for my kids. It makes them be quiet for a bit, and the sound of laughter afterward is way better than the whining and crying.

I love the idea of cake decorating- I tried to make my own icing for my daughter's 5th birthday, it was awful. But I own the Wilton cake decorating beginners set. Go figure.

I *love* brussel sprouts but can't' get my family to like them. I just copied the recipe that one of your previous commenters left & can't wait to try it now!


omg totally love #4. Loved the one where they had to create this blown sugar things bigger than life and then carry them up one side of a ramp and down the other because in real life? I have to do that every damn day. And every damn one of them broke.


I'm jumping on the bandwagon!


Don't feel bad, Amy. There are certain board games my husband won't even play with me any more. Fortunately, Trivial Pursuit isn't one of them. I love me some trivia. Feel better soon!


My first meme


I rock at Trivial Pursuit. You may be Queen of Everything, but I am the Mistress of Minutia, so we should agree to never play opposite each other. That is, if we knew each other in real life, instead of just me reading your blog.

Anyway, I did the weirdness, too:

It scares me the ease with which I did it.


Ah, yes, forgot to mention that we regularly utilize the chucking things at the kids technique of communication - FPLP, croutons, m&ms. My favorite is when BigDaddyFish tries to use popcorn and other stuff that doesn't fly so well. Then he has to clean the floor.


solid proof that God hands out different sets of taste buds - no one can say they like brussel sprouts if they are tasting what I am tasting.

I don't have a URL, so I'll share here - when I cross my ankles, I can intertwine my long, monkey toes every-other (like when you braid your fingers together in your lap?)

And "on my own" from Les Miz makes me cry after 20 yrs. of listening to the soundtrack.


OK, I thought I did it last month, but I guess I was tagged 2 months ago... here is the link...



Did it last month. Sad that it was so easy to think of 6 and so difficult to limit it just to 6.



I thought I was the only one who still liked musicals - and my 26 year old daughter who was actually excited at a Christmas gift of a packet of DVD musicals. Anyone else know all the words to "On the Street Where You Live" or "Gonna Wash That Man Right Outa My Hair?? Ha!


I'm in too.

Wacky Mommy

In that picture Noah looks like you write. Does that make sense? No? We're sick over here, too. Sorry you are down and out.

The comments to this entry are closed.