I am already out of ideas
A Letter to the Myself of One Year Ago

Reader Survey

For all of you stay-at-home or work-at-home types.

(The rest of you may return to your precious dignity now, thank you.)

Question 1: When you are at home alone during the day, do you close the bathroom door?

    A) If yes, skip to Question 2.

    B) If no, do you ever forget and leave the door open when
        your significant other is home?

        1) If no, skip to Question 2.

        2) If yes, do you ever leave the door open when your
            significant other is standing like, right there?

            a) If no, skip to Question 2.

            b) If yes, do you at least apologize?

                i) If yes, skip to Question 2.

                ii) If no, hi. You are officially gross and sad. Like
                    me! Let's make out.    




Welcome to my world!


I'm not a Mom, but I couldn't resist reading ;-)

It is an on going battle in my house because my husband does it all the d*mn time.

And no he does not apologize.


I don't close the door, and I don't apologize [anymore, LoL].

He's seen me naked, and he's watched them cut a 7lb baby out of me. I figure, by now, it's all fair game! :)


doesn't matter if i leave it open or closed, my son always seems to open it right when my husband is walking by and i'm mid wipe, or even worse, changing my girl products.


That's me. Miss Fancy pants. But I do leave the door open in the evenings. But I don't have a significant other. my dogs don't mind.


I work at work and not at home but I still usually manage to leave the door open. :p


I suspect your husband and know my wife would both object to our making out!


Open door.

Keeps the fumes from overcoming the occupant(s) of said bathroom.


My SO is offended that I won't pee in front of him, so he has gone on strike by refusing to pee in front of me. How very odd.


I don't leave the door open but a kid will always come along and open it for me usually mid-wipe and then inspect my body and ask all sorts of personal questions.

I figure if I play my cards right, I may be able to pee alone sometime in 2014.


I lost all my modesty when my feet hit the stirrups for my first prenatal checkup. My husband is lucky if he gets a courtesy flush. Shut the door? I GAVE HIM AN HEIR.


Too funny. I guess there will come a time when we can use the bathroom with the door shut. Of course, one day our sons will be mortified if we don't shut the door. That's when we'll truly be able to get our payback.


I won't even pee in the bathroom while my husband is in the shower. I'm kinda weird like that.

(And I know...I know...I was supposed to skip this all together)


I shut it only when the stepsons are home. Otherwise, never.

I have been known to carry on conversations with my husband while in there. Hey, he's gonna follow me, I'm gonna keep talking.

And yes, I do go in there and pee while my husband's in the shower. I don't flush (while he's in the shower) though. That should get me points, right?


You're kind of scaring me Amy.



I am currently looking for writers who would like exposure covering topics
of their interest in DC such as basic news, art, theater, movies,
sports, politics, scandal...whatever you are interested in. I'd be
publishing your articles on the homepage with the your name, contact
information, and blog url readily available.

I'm contacting you because I came across your blog and
thought you might be interested in joining our collaboration.

If interested please respond with what topics you'd be interested in covering at mike@dcguide.com

Best regards,

Mike Thomas



I close the door. I know we're married and he's seen me in the delivery room but that's just one mystery I'd just as soon like to remain that way. My son has just recently stopped banging on the door wanting to know what I'm doing in there and why can't he come in. But the dog still sits at the door whining to get in!


I didn't make it to Question #2. I am sad and gross...and I don't apologize for it.


Offically not sorry! =)


Um, so it's a bad thing that this is the norm at my house? What can I say--we're just really 'free' around our place. Actually, when I was newly married, my husband was the one to want to shut the door (Slowly but surely I brought him over to the dark side of leaving the door wide open). I'm sure once our kids are older we'll go back to our door shutting ways, but for now...meh...no so much.


DH and I always pee in front of each other. HE makes a big deal if I am taking a crap, but never remembers to close the door when he is....

Oh and we only have one bathroom upstairs, so ....


I leave it open during the day, and have inadvertently left it open at night when my honey is home. He always looks shocked & disgusted, which I don't fully understand ever since he saw our child come out my cooch. (Interestingly enough, during labor, while I was leaking amniotic fluid and hooked up to an IV--which he had to help me with--he still wanted to give me "privacy" when I peed! I really thought we were beyond that at that point.)

But whatever--if he wants to pretend there are any mysteries left between us, I guess I have to let him.

Amy Beth

This is funny. I think it depends on the kind of family you grew up in and how many bathrooms you had. There are 4 in my family. We were modest but not prudish. We had one bathroom so if someone needed to brush teeth or shave and someone else needed to use the toilet, we just did. I never thought of it being any other way. We are family. We weren't perverted or overly show-offy. We were modest and covered up, we just did what we had to do when we had to do it.

Now that I'm married, it's the same way. The only time either one of us is grossed out and stays away from the bathroom when the other uses it is when I have my period or my husband had beans for a meal.


Okay, if you are talking about going pee-pee, then I'm with you to the end.

If you are talking about something else? Then I never forget to close the door when Josh is home. We're BOTH freakishly private about that. We actually close three doors, and demand the other person play music or watch TV. I know he's seen me squeeze two small people out of the bajingo, but twosies are not for sharing.


Sometimes I think our doors don't even close! We actually have to remember to close them when other kids are over! Yikes! The older kid is properly mortified and we try to appease him, but the little guy, the hub and I couldn't care less!! You always hit the hot topics Amy! Love ya!


As an addendum to my previous post, once when I was on a business trip and in a hotel, I thought why not? Leave the door open....first time in 12 years pee without son, husband and an assortment of pets trying to get in or yelling through the door. So I left the door open and was feeling pretty darn liberated. Until I realized while sitting there I was in full view of the next buildings windows and looking straight into the conference room where there was a meeting going on. Cripes! Can't even catch a break 200 miles from home without said son, husband or animals. So close the door? Damn skippy I do.


I'm gross and sad!??!!? YEEEESSSSSSS! lol But you did forget one other option: "If yes, do you ever accidentally still forget to close the door when your sister come s to visit and you only forgot because you constantly leave the door open when you husband and child are there you sick sick person?"


Um, people close the door when they go to the bathroom?


After three babies and the attendant doctor check-ups, labor and general sense of "spread em" that seems to come along with Western pregnancy, plus the raising of said small critters.... I gotta get a little bit of "me" back.

I began a campaign of door shutting a little over two months ago. Fancy SCHMANCY! I count it as personal time!


Home alone: Door stays open, regardless of what I'm doing in there.

Home with kids or hubs: Door closed.

I have no dignity to return to. *sob*

Miss W

Totally gross over here. In fact, if it means the child is climbing up someone else's legs? I'll intentionally pee in the bathroom where he's shaving. Because damn. I like to wipe without a toddler trying to "help" (and yes, yes I do have to remove my son's hands from between my legs every time I try to wipe. Is that normal?)


Are we gross if the only time either of us closes the door is for #2? yes?


Not a SAHM, but can totally chime in here. Being 8 months pregnant (who am I kidding? I did this before too), if I'm just peeing I rarely close the door. Taking a dook on the other hand is an entirely different story—close the door every.single.time.


I do it all. My husband gets mad but he does it. And even when he closes the door he never turns on the fan to obscure the sound of man-pee. The sound of a large amount of urine careening towards the water in the toilet from a high elevation. Hello? That is loud.


Uh, I work from home one day a week, and I am officially as gross as you are. Awesome.

Mrs. Q.

I used to NEVER pee in front of my hubby. Now? Eh. He's seen a giant head smooshed out my vajoojoo. But poo? Door closed. Except when it comes to my toddler. He wants to be in the potty with me no matter what I'm doing. I've lost all dignity pooing with a little boy who wants to sit on my lap and read. Lovely.


First, I hope you enjoyed your blog vacation b/c you can't take another for a long time. :) And you were missed, I just thought it would miss the point to send you emails while on break (like taking biz calls at the beach). :)

Second, I don't know if it was my husband's time in the army or just that he's so practical/non-squeamish but we leave the door open all the time (unless we'd like privacy for #2). Sometimes we don't even shut the door for that, then one of us walks by, yells 'light a candle' then helpfully shuts the door for the occupied person. In fact, when we have company over, I have to remind myself to shut the door completely.


I have two bathroom door stories for you. I'm on maternity leave, so call me a short-term SAHM. I leave the door open because my 7-week-old doesn't care.

This has slowly led me to not closing the door when my husband is home. Eh, not a big deal. Until Friday night when I did so with company over. Fortunately, I can reach the door from the throne.

My not closing the door has led my husband to leave the door partially open. Which was perfect last night when I needed to narrate the football game for him while he was in there.

I told him the other day, "We've become THOSE people. The baby did it to us. We swore it would never happen and it only took 6 weeks. Sad, really."


I kept the door open when no one else was around until my youngest was over at year. At that point certain female functions returned and I needed either privacy or to answer a bunch of questions from my nearly 3 year old. Now, my kids are almost 5 and 6 1/2 and I do keep the door shut. But now my cats have reclaimed baby position and cry and rattle the door if I shut it.

He'll get over it (husband). Don't dwell.

Amanda Cowan

I had all sorts of modesty when I met my husband. It took him a year of absolutely NO PRIVACY for me before I realized that he didn't care. He's gross like that. So I realized if he didn't care then I don't care. Now that I have a nosy child.. it's like I never had a bit of privacy to begin with. I'm pregnant now with #2 but when I was having periods I always heavily requested my privacy. Thats just too much.


I've been working full-time at home for 2 and 1/2 years. It's gotten so bad that I actually have to remind myself to shut the bathroom door when we have guests. What can I say...the dogs like to come visit me when I'm in there and my husband is never home anyway!


I don't mind peeing in front of my boyfriend. He does it in front of me almost constantly. I did draw the line though after he told me he had something to show me in the bathroom and proceeded to show me his crap. Yeah, no, that wasn't cool.


I just leave the damn door open now. Because even when I used to close the damn door, someone would come barging in anyhow, causing me to yell "Get out of here and shut the damn door!"
Or there would be some 'emergency' that could NOT wait until I returned to the other side of the damn door, leaving someone to yell at me through the damn door.
So, I've saved The Intruders the work of having to open or yell through the damn door, and myself the frustration of having to yell about the damn door.
Yes, I traded dignity and privacy for harmony. I'm a whore.
(But I do still close the damn door for the removal and replacement of feminine hygiene products. And for going Number Two. Because Ewww!)

Miss Britt

I don't even break conversation.


My man thinks its kinky. Yep. He keeps thinking it will progress to golden showers. Poor boy!


At home all day with the toddler, so yes the door stays open.

If the hub is home, the door is closed. Always. Cuz blech.

Most of the time, the toddler is in the bathroom with me, trying to go thru my makeup drawer or suck on the toilet brush or unrolling the toilet paper or trying to turn on the water in the shower or....well, you get the picture...while I'm trying to do my bidness.

The joys of motherhood, Part 7,948.2


I came from a household of immodest people and now? I'm freakishly modest. I remember in high school, I wouldn't even change into my pajamas in front of my best friend.

My husband, not so modest. But, I have the door closed, the fan on, and sometimes water running when I'm in the bathroom.

That makes me feel freaky and sad... and also a waster of precious resources.


Oh, did I mention when the hub IS home and I close the door? I still see little fingers poking under the door and hear a muffled, "Ma? Meh? MAMAMAMAMA??!?!??" even when she was occupied with Daddy and I decided to make a break for it to have a few minutes of PRI-VAAA-SEEEEE!

I intend to get her back when she's a teenager. "No, you can't go to the prom because you never left me alone in the bathroom when you were a toddler. I know, Wahhh. Now go tell it to Oprah."

Jenny H.

You are supposed to close the door?!! Well, you learn something new everyday!!

Who has any modesty/dignity left after having a child, let alone two? Going potty with the door closed is too dangerous in my house. I need to be able to hear what the monkeys are getting in to!!

But, to each her own! And, I would totally make out with you!! Um, can we have some wine first?!

Margarita Mama

I left the door open for a good 8 years, the time it took to have 3 children and get them all potty-trained. One day, when all FIVE of us were in the bathroom together, something snapped. (I don't think I was the one on the toilet, but someone was) Within months we had moved into a larger house with my own private master bath and now, door is always closed. I don't even let the cats in with me.


My husband and I have always peed in front of each other but we close the door to poop. In our current one-story house, the bathroom is right in the middle of the main hallway, so I close the door so that everyone doesn't see me in there. We have to close the door anyway because otherwise Kaitlyn will go in their and splash her hand in the toilet water.

Reminds me of an episode of "How I Met Your Mother". In nine years of dating and living together, how could two people have NEVER seen each other pee?


Mary said: "I did draw the line though after he told me he had something to show me in the bathroom and proceeded to show me his crap. Yeah, no, that wasn't cool."
LOL. My sister's finance and his best friend have a "Sh!t of the Week" contest. They use their camera phones to send each other pics of their pooh. Yes. My sister is going to marry this man. He will be my brother-in-law, and he will father my neices and nephews. I guess the Universe didn't think my family had enough dysfunction already.


Interesting topic...
Yeah I never close the door. Hubs doesn't either.. except when we go #2. There's no point really, it's just pee.. and besides, my cat will scratch on the door like hell the second I close it anyway. Little bugger has to be in there when I take my showers too.


Hee! This made me laugh out loud. Glad I'm not the only one!


Question 1: When you are at home alone during the day, do you close the bathroom door?

A) nope. never
B) I dont close it when he is home either. ever. i often forget to close it when we have guests over as well.
C) yup he will also come in and sit on the edge of the sink and we will have complete
Apologise for what?

Cant make out, Im married, sorry


Once I became a mom I lost all my dignity..so I use the bathroom with door open and usually have my 3 year old watching me. I have been known to use it while holding one of our 6 month old twins. Yeah, I roll like that. Of course I DIE everytime we are in a public bathroom and my daughter asks "Mama, are you poopin?" and I have to hear the snickers from the next stall.


I haven't shut the door in nearly four and a half years. Welcome to MY world.


Oh this made me laugh! I always leave it open in fornt of Mike - no shame! he always closes it though when he is going. It has gotten to the point that he will come talk to me if he needs to or come in brush his teeth ext....


I used to always have the door open when kids were Noah's age. Now the youngest is almost 5 and it's always closed. NO ONE is allowed in. It's my daily alone time.

Don't worry, eventually you will be fancy like me!!


1.) At home during the day with just the babe and me, I don't close the door. He almost always comes in.

2.) I don't leave the door open when my husband is there. We have only been married 2.5 years and I figure it's coming, but we are holding off as long as we can. It's not being fancy for us, it's just that we had almost no time to be married before he started learning WAY too much about me, like what a freak I am when I'm pregnant, and also coming to all my OB/GYN visits, to say nothing of observing both everyone in the hospital sticking their hands inside me when I was laboring and also seeing our baby yanked from my belly. We have to hold on to what magic we can!


I never ever ever close the bathroom door, although I don't have kids and don't work/stay at home. Actually I'll sometimes close up for a #2. Always gets the dog and cat all upset, like "why would you close a door? why don't you want me in there purring/whining/being cute?" This leads to problems whenever guests have the audacity to shut the bathroom door. I think I'm a no on the making out though, thanks for asking.


No, what's gross is when Hubby insists on privacy (which he gets) then after rendering the bathroom uninhabitable he LEAVES THE DOOR OPEN. I've actually had intestinal flu while holding a child on my LAP.

You bring the make-out music, I'll bring the lip balm.

cathy walker

I leave it open only for peeing our bathroom is really small. If I close it I get claustrophobic


It gets to the stage where you don't even think about this!


I do give warnings like, "You might want to step back, this is gonna stink."

Heather B.

Honest question:

What does one do when alone with another person's child and said child pushes the door open and being a small child, really doesn't care whether or not you're trying to pee ALONE..?? Then what?


I don't qualify to review your questions 'cause I work in a corp office, don't have kids, and spend very little time at home.

However, I NEVER close the bathroom door...
My partner and I chat, brush teeth, review the day.

my problem is....


now, let's talk about embarassing... when the HR woman walks in to find you sitting on the pot.


Actually, I'm not an 'at home' anything (insert loud sobbing noise), yet I still manage to pull this off at least once a week.

In my defense, it's not my fault! I'll neglect to close the door enough for it to latch and a dog will push the door open or I'll get it lached all nice and tight and the kid opens the door.

I really just need to either move the potty closer to the door or the door closer to the potty.


Meh. You can use having kids to get over the need for privacy, or you can grow up in a real big family. When my Mike and I moved in together, I promised him that he would relax about the peeing policy eventually. He held out for around 3 months. Four years later, it's now open season in the bathroom, with a "you might want to leave" at crap time and a "please avert your eyes" when changing tampons. I consider it enlightened.

Either that, or the special cost of being in a relationship with me.

Y from The Internet

Some of the best conversations I've ever had with PigHunter have been while I'm taking a leak.


I try to lock everyone out, but my children can unlock the door with the car keys. No I never ever ever pee or anything else in front of my husband. I don't even like brushing my teeth in front of him.


My mom's sister is my "cool aunt" -- the one that would take me and my brother for a few weeks in the summer and let us stay up late to watch TV and eat junk food, etc. BTW, she never wanted to be a mother herself, but loves being an aunt. A few years ago (I'm 31) I barged in on her while she was in the bathroom yelling "AUNT KAY! AUNT KAY! I NEED YOU!". She looked at me like she could beat me but politely responded, "yes, dear? How may I help you??" and I said, "I just thought you'd really like to know what it's like to have kids."


Ummm...wow, I really didn't think I was this much of a freak. We've been married for 7 years, and I not only close the door, I LOCK it. Although I will totally use the toilet while my hubby's in the shower, and flush, so I guess I'm just totally lacking in consistency.


In fact Bossy enjoys the conversations she has with her kids through the closed door. You don't think children quit at the sight of a closed door, do you?


Shut the door to the bathroom? That's blasphemy. I've never shut the door to the bathroom in my home, ever. Not when I'm alone, not when I am with family. Why bother? They come in anywhere and chit chat when they know I'm a captive audience. It's like, "Oh, Mom's pooping...let's have a family meeting in the john."

Close the door? You have GOT to be kidding!


Perhaps this makes me the grossest person ever (or just staying true to my Arkansas hillbilly roots), but I never close the bathroom door. Even when I'm not just peeing. ;)

I was raised in a house with an open door policy. It took my husband quite a while to adjust.


What? People are supposed to close the door? I have nooooo privacy at home, even though my kids are 13 and 16 and are normally are embarrassed just because I'm breathing beside them.

If I do shut the door? The cat gets all offended and meows mournfully and waves her paw underneath in protest. And my husband? King of the Open Door Potty Room. He will reign supreme for hours and hold conversations and try to show me new houses in the newspaper (OMG I AM NOT WALKING OVER TO YOU) and then? He will Talk.On.The.Phone. On The Potty. We might as well not have bathroom door locks in our house. They are useless things.


Well, see, you have to understand, my family is the type in which I still walk into my parents' bathroom and have conversations with my mom while she's doing her business. And my dad will walk naked past me to get to the shower, if I'm giving my kid a bath in his bathtub. So I've never closed a door to use the bathroom. Not for my husband, anyway. And rarely for my closest friends, even, now that I think about it. I've seen them naked. They've seen me naked. And if we're having a really good conversation when one of us needs to pee, we really don't want to bother with trying to talk through a door. So...yeah. I'm pretty disgusting. In fact, the only person I DO close the door for is my 3 year old, and that's only because it's the only "quiet time" I get all day.

And now that I've revealed entirely too much about my bathroom habits, I'm going back to lurking.


I've put on my tangerine lip gloss and I'm puckering up...


I have to remind myself to shut the door when company comes over. Sometimes the company will shut the door for me if I forget. Company can be so high and mighty. Like my bits aren't good enough for them to get a good view of. PUH-LEEEAAAAASSSSE


I don't close the door if I'm all the way back in OUR bathroom. He usually doesn't mind standing there talking to me while I'm going. Heh. If I try to talk to him while he's going, he gets all bladder shy. I'm like, "You can see me have our children, but I can't watch you pee?" Haha. If I'm in the bathroom off of the living room, I close it.


Bathrooms have doors?

Daily Tragedies

I live alone and still shut the door roughly 92% of the time. Apparently I'm just a prude. And haven't had the pleasure of small children demanding my attention yet.

Kate The Great

I don't have any kids yet, but my cats have figured out how to open doors. Which always seems to happen right as my husband walks in the front door (Which is directly across from the bathroom door. Yay!) with company no less! Sadly, this has happened more than once.


I try to remember to leave the door closed at night when he's home. Unless he's upstairs and I'm downstairs or vice versa. So, uhm... yeah.


I have neither a SO nor a child, but my cats get so furious at the sight of a closed door that I don't even think about it. Oh, and I pee whilst on the phone, AND I always tell the poor soul on the phone that I am, in fact, peeing. What dignity?


Why would you need to apologize? He gets to see you at least a little bit naked! I make my husband give me thanks.


Woohoo! I'm sick and gross and get to make out with Amalah, I totally pulled. ;)


Oh the things I have to look forward to! I guess I should be thankful my cat has me in training as well!! :)


Yes, I leave the door open (and I'm not a stay-at-home/work-at-home type, so I don't have the free time during the day to blame for my cultivating habits).

No, I don't apologize. I actually attempt to engage my husband in conversation.

God, I'm so uncouth.


That is too freaking funny... love it! Yea I always leave the potty room door open during the day. But... I always, always shut it when hubby's home. Besides shutting the door for obvious privacy reasons, it's also the only peaceful moment I get all day!


it never occured to me that I should shut the door. He has to love every part of me. Just like how I love every part of him...except his feet. They're gross.

But I shut it for instances of number 2.

I have a cold, can we postpone the makeout session for your own safety?


this is hysterical! i only skimmed the comments (except for one that caught my eye) so i'm sorry if someone already mentioned this...did anyone notice the comment near the top from Mike Thomas? No? Here, allow me to copy & paste: Hello,
I am currently looking for writers who would like exposure covering topics
of their interest in DC such as basic news, art, theater, movies,
sports, politics, scandal...whatever you are interested in. I'd be
publishing your articles on the homepage with the your name, contact
information, and blog url readily available.
I'm contacting you because I came across your blog and
thought you might be interested in joining our collaboration.
If interested please respond with what topics you'd be interested in covering at mike@dcguide.com
Best regards,
Mike Thomas

Now, I am not busting on Mr. Mike Thomas but how hilarious is it that he came across this entry? wonder if the dcguide.com will have a section on bathroom preferences in the metro area?! :-) and since you asked, we pee and poop with the door closed, always provide courtesy flushes and don't even share a bathroom. As much as I love him I don't need to know about his business, nor him mine. But this post is the epitome of why I read your blog, because you are so real and I love it!!!


I've been pulling that since we moved in together. All of a sudden, I realized I was pooping while conversing with my new live-in love. Not just peeing. Pooping. I'm extra gross.

I know. No one wants to make out with me. That's fine.


Fancy AND Fabulous, thank you very much! :)


Privacy? That no longer exists. When my oldest was a toddler, he insisted on being in the bathroom with me at all times. Once, I tried to appeal to his budding sense of manners and said, "Please go out and close the door, Mommy needs privacy to go potty."

He very sweetly stepped into the room, closed both doors (weird bathroom had two doors) and said, "I gave you privacy!"

My husband has seen me push a 10 pound child out of there, pee should no longer shock him.

My mother in law, however, has such a sense of propriety that she won't even call it the bathroom. It's "the restroom". As in, "Where is your restroom?" even though she's visited us many, many times and has USED THE FRAKKING TOILET. It's like she wants to pretend she's such a lady that remembering where she last peed would be too much for her lily-fragile mind. Oy.


I WAH and the door is open all day. I give it a half-hearted push when my husband is home but usually it doesn't latch and my dog (who has to follow me into the bathroom when I'm alone with the baby because I don't want him messing with the baby) usually pushes it open.

Jenn T.

What the heck happens to us as moms? I would have never ever considered leaving a door open until I had kids. Now if I even try to close the door for a little privacy, one of my 3 will be beating it down (or beating on each other) until I open it.

the bee

As the kids in my house are older , the door is shut. Once, my young nephew let the fed ex man in the door . He proceceed to tell him that I was in the bathroom but he did not know if I was going pee or poop but that he would ask and get back to him. Needless to say I was embarrased to death as well as terrified that he had let someone in the door . Gotta love those kids .


100th comment. WOW.

I didn't read all the comments but did anyone mention the IMPORTANT distinction between poopin and pee'n?
For #1 the door's open. I've been that way all my life. If ya' don't wanna see, don't look. I talk on the phone and with whoever's around.
But for #2, the door's closed. You don't wanna come in anyway.

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