A Million Shades of Beige

A slightly freaked-out update at 12:31 am

So it turns out that I'm going to be on this radio show tomorrow morning? On Sirius Satellite Radio? On Channel 114, to be exact? On the Be Happy, Dammit! show, to be even more exact? There's some kind of snafu miscommunication going on right now about the time zone I just know it, but it sounds like I will probably be on around 8:39 am EST, but there will also be a podcast afterwards which I will link to but will refuse to listen to, because OH MY GOD THE SOUND OF MY OWN VOICE. Anyway, I am only barely sure of when the show will actually be on and I have no idea what they will ask me to talk about, so...yeah. This is gonna go really effing well. Hopefully I can refrain from making any racial slurs.

PS: I FOUND A CAN OF BARBADOS SAND BITCHES! WOOOOOO! (Thank you, Erin! #1094 in the hizzzzzouse!)

PPS: Dear lord I am tired and yet still. I cannot stop watching Flight of the Conchords reruns. What is wrong with me?


Y from the internet

If you do not mention BEEFLOGS at some point, I will cry.


SHUT UP! I am so excited for you! Good luck, Amalah!!!!11111!11!!1 : )


WOOT! That's so freaking cool! Can't wait to hear it!

Oh, and I TOTALLY get the sound of your own voice thing...it's weird, why is it that your voice in your head always sounds so much more adult, and grown up, and less squeaky than in real life???


You're gonna do great! Can't wait to hear the podcast. (I like you and all, but I'm so not getting up at 5am to listen to you :P)


Good luck, you'll be great!


Woo hoo! Your voice sounded good on the podcast Danny linked to recently.


you will be fabulous. everyone hates their voice, but from what i've heard, ie "what's this called? no, that's not a beer," you are radio/interwebs friendly!

oh, and i hear you. it's 3 am, i can't sleep, and have resorted to taking numerous photos of my sleeping dogs.

i say you dip into the latenight stash o libations, and just have a great time in the morning!


Holy crap I think I just read this in time...tuning into 114 now. I love my Sirius.


Okay, yes. It's going to be on at 8:39ish Eastern Time. I am up, child is placated with abanananana and waffles, I am drinking coffee and, appropriately enough, not wearing any underwear.

This is just how I roll, people.


So, when do you get your own VH1 reality show?

The Flavalah of Amalah.

I hate my voice, too. (At least I don't go around talking like Beavis anymore. Like I did my entire sophomore year. I didn't realize the full extent of my dumbassness until watching old home vidoes years later.)

jive turkey

That's awesome! Good luck! According to my watch, you're going on in 10 minutes!! EEE!

I hate the sound of my own voice too. I haven't changed my voicemail message on my cell or work phone in THREE YEARS because I hate having to listen to it to make sure it sounds OK (it never sounds OK).

Fraulein N

Hope it all went well! (Heh, AmyM; I used to do that too.).


I was momentarily confused by the Barbados Sand, thinking it was some kind of hair product.

Paint. Gotcha.


I think you did fantastic! I especially loved hearing Noah "shrieking" in the background. :)) Good job!

PS. I liked your voice. I personally cannot STAND the sound of my own voice. Whenever I hear it recorded I think "how can anyone stand to listen to me?"


I'm live blogging The Amalah Show...

8:50... nervous laugh.

8:51... "make funny"

8:52 Noah finishes breakfast.

8:53 Awwww, blog albums. Admits to failing as a babybooker.

8:54 Has to rub it in about the iPhone, though admits to being slightly creeped out by it.

8:55 Makes America jealous that your husband surprised you with an iPhone.

8:56 HOOTERS! HOOTERS! Hooters is child-friendly....eww.

8:57 Noah is ashamed to take a classy girl like Dora to place like Hooters.

8:58 You have friends. I'm jealous.

8:58:45 Freak outs? What? You? Never!

8:59 You are not alone! People love you! People love you!

9:00 And here's the plug... A-M-A-L-A-H DOT COM!


You might as well listen to yourself - you'll never believe it was you anyway. All these years of hearing my own voice on the voice mail & I still think "who the hell is that bitch and why does she sound so stupid".
On second thought - why don't you let us listen & then shower you with praise you won't believe....


because flight of the concords is a hilariously appropriate method for fighting sleep?


Hope all went well this morning!

I'm digging Flight of the Conchords too. Their songs are too damn much!


Hope all went well. As long as you didn't say "nappy headed ho's" I'm sure you were fine. hehe.
That's awesome about the paint! (See you can even get people excited about paint- this is talent.)


I am so bummed I missed it! I read your blog on the train, but didn't get to work until 9!!!


What is a BARBADOS SAND BITCHES??? I googled it and it just gave me your post. Thank You. I don't have a url sorry


Amy: Podcast link, please.
AmyM: Thank you for the live blog.
Stephanie: BARBADOS SAND is the color paint for the bathroom, which Amalah previously couldn't find.


Hope it went well!


HA, AmyM. Thanks for blogging all the scintillating, edge-of-your-seat details. (They MADE me talk about the iPhone! They MADE me!)

I will post the podcast link as soon as they send it to me. Oh, them!

And yes, Maria told you right, Stephanie. Barbados Sand was the elusive master bathroom paint color. Reader Erin was kind enough to pass along the color code to me so I was able to request it at the paint store.

My life, she is so exciting.


SO glad you watch Flight of the Conchords. So stupid and yet so funny and addictive.


I LOVE Flight of the Conchords. Have you seen their HBO special from a couple years ago? It used to be On Demand, but I don't think it is anymore... you can YouTube it though. Hi-lar-ious.


Hey Amalah, after looking at your GORGEOUS new wood floors and then going home to our icky carpet & linoleum (sp?), I've been inspired to start checking out prices...Mind if I ask how you got started? I need *somebody* to hold my hand, lol.

anne nahm

That is totally awesome. Transcript plz for those of us not hooked up.

Is radio like theater, where you can't say 'good luck', but have to say something like 'break a leg'?

If so, uh... ' have fun and be sure to sneeze'...?


Wow - hope it went well. And this looks like a very entertaining blog to visit... :)


I am sorry I missed it, I love my Sirius!


Double jealousy -- want iPhone AND Sirius.

Seriously, though. Congrats on the interview! Can't wait to hear it. Also, my voice? Way more hideous than anyone elses which is why we should never speak on the phone.


So how'd that go? Are you happy, dammit?

Dr. Johnny Fever

Did you mention to the international listening audience that you write your blog with your knee in your face? Because you do. I've seen it. I have pictures.

BTW, sources close to Dr. Johnny Fever confirm that it takes FOREVER AND A DAY to get access to your BHD podcast. Should be available right about the time menopause hits.

Her Bad Mother

Did you keep your underwear off? Did you sit on your new floor, sans underpants? Because that's what really makes radio exciting. The possibility that EVERYBODY HAS TOSSED THEIR PANTIES.


That was kinda dirty, huh? Sorry.


congrats on the oddly-timed (8:39am???) podcast. If I wasn't stuck *working* and if I had *Sirius* (minor detail), I might've been able to listen-in! So I am looking forward to when we all hit menopause and your podcast is finally available for us to listen to.
Also, loved your floors, and the shoes, and dear-God we have the issue with the green paint, too. Glad you found your barbados sand! Wish me luck with the "I think that shade of green came out of my son's ass" green! I'm sure Lowes or Home Depot has a matching paintchip for it somewhere!


God, I love Her Bad Mother's dirty mind, but now I am going to be stuck tomorrow in traffic imagining all the NPR people pantiless. Maybe that is the source of the soothing voices? No underwear?


I do love those Conchord boys! Laughing out loud fun for sure! "What is your overhead anyway?"


Ms Karen not Salmon Salmansohn is very cute! She spoke at the HOW design conference in Atlanta a few weeks ago (how to be ballsy) and she is very entertaining and a great speaker. I have caught her show a few times on SIRIUS but she's one at the same time as Howard and Martha Stewart's Morning Living show with Dean Olsher. Dilemma... Have a great time!

Mrs. Q.

Whee-- good luck.

And we had a similar beige-matching crisis in our house recently. I thought I nailed it on the color match-- then realized I got egg shell satin when the walls were originally painted in flat. So now it looks like there are grease marks where we touched up. ARGGGHHHH


Chiming in very quickly to say that Flight of the Conchords? OMIGOD. I giggle like a freak everytime I watch them.

Also, they are forever burned in my brain, because I was watching them when my early labor first started. Um, laughing during contractions is NOT as fun as it sounds. But still, "brit" and Jermaine are too fucking hilarious.

Humor Girl

Because flight of the conchors rules eternity and WHERE CAN I LISTEN TO YOUR SHOW?


Oh, I missed it. I'm sad. Looking forward to the podcast. I love my Sirius!

I have to listen to my voice for work all the time, and it freaks me out every time. I hate it. The worst is when I'm calling somewhere international and I get an echo. It's hard to speak and listen to your freaky voice at the same time.

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