One-Track Mind
Lady of the Flies

Talking Enough For the Both of Us

Video of me. (It's off the homepage now, so click on "Videos" and then "Keyboard Confidential.")

Podcast of me.

Another podcast of me.

There. Go. I can't bear to watch or listen to any of them. I am hiding behind my fingers at the THOUGHT of watching or listening to any of them, but it's okay if you watch or listen just PLEASE DON'T TELL ME ABOUT THEM. La la laaaaa.

The video is an interview from last year's Blogher with the lovely Leah of leahpeah. And me. And my upper arms and the not-flattering right side of my head.

The first podcast is from the panel I was on at SXSW Interactive earlier this year. It's been available for awhile but I finally decided to link to it today, since it's suddenly some kind of Amalah Talky Moving Picture Media Day over here. I talked a lot, I remember, even when questions weren't really directed at me. I also brought the sap near the end, and generally just kind of sucked. Everybody else was smart and pretty though.

The second podcast is from that Sirius radio show I did last week. It was very early and they made me talk about the iPhone.

Speaking of Blogher, and SXSW, and the iPhone, I guess I should make some kind of official announcement that no, I'm not going to Blogher.

Last year ClubMom paid all of my expenses, but there's no such deal this year. Going to SXSW was super expensive, as was, you know, BUYING A DAMN HOUSE. Then Jason came home with the iPhone and a look on his face that clearly said he had no idea why he came with the iPhone, it was just THERE and SHINY and GADGETY. It was only after I ripped the box open (instant 10% restocking fee!), used the phone, fell in looooove with the phone and possibly licked the phone that I realized I was holding my airfare budget in my hands.

I wanted to take Noah with me, which means two plane tickets, and there's no way I can ask anyone to share a hotel room with us and our perfectly-timed hangover-hour whinefests. I am not that shitty of a friend, honest. And now there's the speech thing. I'm hoping we'll at least be getting a call from the county's EI program by then and possibly even have an evaluation scheduled. Or we'll just spend the whole time at the playground, while I get dirty looks from other mothers who think gawd, another one of those pushy neurotic momzillas who uses sign language with her kid, I bet that's why he's not talking, sniff.

So. Not going on account of ass = broke and baby = also needing a bit of a tune-up, sort of. I'm bummed, since it's always so nice to hang with everybody and put faces to the fonts and such.

I'll double-check the couch cushions, just in case we've dropped a grand worth of change in there, but if that doesn't work out, I hope y'all who are going have fun, and are kind to each other, and remember that in the end, we're all just a bunch of raging dorks with computers. (See: all the links above, oh my god DORK.)


I may have also spent my alcohol budget on a tricycle, but dude. Worth it.



Dude you are letting Noah ride a tricycle on your new wood floors? NOONE can say you are a bad mom now. Seriously, he is the cutest! His hair rocks.


I must say I've never been to a blogging conference, and I don't even have a blog. But if I were to want to go to this "Blogher", the only reason would be to meet you, and since you're not going then neither am I. Oh, and cause I just bought a place at the lake so my wallet = empty. But mostly cause of you.


How is it you live outside DC yet Noah totally has the OC Beach Toddler Look going on?

Virginia Gal

How 'bout an "I'm Too Broke To Go To BlogHer" (ITBTGTBH) post-fest. That way those of us who want to be there, but can't, for above #1 reason, can still feel special and pretty (or at least pretend we are while sobbing into our cheap-ass abeah's).

And when is this sort of thing coming back to the east coast? Like, within easy driving or train-riding distance because my loard, airfare, it is expensive!


Sucks that you can't go to BlogHer. Just writhe around on your new hardwood floors whenever you feel sad about it. That will probably be more fun with alcohol and some adult activities. ;)

I could go to BlogHer..I live in the Chicago burbs, and as a grad student, it'd only set me back 50 smackers. But, I've got this "I'm not a real blogger. Why would all these people even want to meet me, and why should I take the risk of losing the illusions (or delusions) I have of all my favorite bloggers." thing going on.

Seriously. Guess it's a good thing I am training to be a psychologist. Maybe I can do therapy on myself.


Look at how beautiful and PERFECT that child is!! My son Jake is 13 now, and I sooo miss those years when he was Noah's age.....


I hear ya about the cash situation. It's the reason I haven't gone to any of those fancy schmancy blogger get togethers yet. Oh, and those two giant balls of sunshine that flew out of my vagina two years ago. Them too.

Noah? Cuteness on a tricycle almost bowled me right off my damn chair.


tricycle = totally worth it (I suspect house, wood floors, and iPhone are too.)

Scooter has that exact same tricycle; he pulled it out the other day and it made us realize he's too big for it now.


I love Noah's cool, devil may care surfer look. Oh, I wish they all could be DC todd-(e)-lers.


Airfare to BlogHer: $1000+

iPhone: $600+

Picture of Noah on the tricycle: priceless!


we have that bike! its AWESOME. my husband may have tried to ride it himself. enjoy the rest of the summer outside with Noah - i fear for the winter months coming up way too quickly.

Marmite Breath

I know you said not to mention it, but the alpha mom TV thing is adorable. You're so normal, and WE SHUD BE BEST FRENS COS YOUR TOTALLY PRESHUS.

Er, sorry. But my love for you has increased exponentially. I can't be bothered to see if I spelled that right, but you know what I mean.


Gah! I'm terribly sad that you aren't going to be at BlogHer. I get to go this year and was totally hoping to hug you and snack on Noah's neck (before you shoved me away and called security)

I guess I'll just do some aerobic dancing with Y. That should help me get over it.

jive turkey

Just watched your video, and I LOVE how shocked I was that this hilarious, smart-ass blog comes out of this sweet, cute little blonde girl. HEE!


My love for you is now ten fold after all the media. You are one of the bloggers that is worth the hype!

P.S. You can add me to your list of mommies you can call when you're all stressy. I'm about an hour away in VA!


Picture is way-ay-ay too cute!

Who needs Blogher, when you've got such an adorable Noah at home, to say nothing of some great looking new floors.


I listened to your SXSW podcast when Dad Gone Mad posted it, and immediately wondered if that's really how you pronounce "Amalah." Is it? Because, if so, I've pronounced it incorrectly (in my head) for years now.


So sad you won't be there. I will be there and was really hoping to meet you and tell you all about the cool freelance gig I scored because you featured me on ClubMom a while back. Perhaps I can send you a martini in the mail?


I think we need a "Me and my broke ass are NOT going to BlogHer" button for our blogs. Just sayin.


Just a note - our speech therapist taught my son and us some basic signs but he never used any of them. The adults all happily signed eat, sleep and thank you till the cows came home and my son probably thought we were all nuts. So if Noah doesn't pick up signing don't freak out.

Fraulein N

I'm not going to make it to BlogHer this year, because my ass = broke too. :-(


Loved your AlphaMomness. You can also add me to the list. My daughter is a PILL! She's taking this "I'm 2 and Shall Now Rule The World!" thing waaay too seriously. Maybe we could lock her and Noah in a room together and let them have a cage match using the Secret Ninja Moves from the Government?


Such a cute picture.

Your hardwood floors turned out so nice!


I cannot write, I cannot think. I can only stare at Noah's picture. Those eyes just suck me in and I can't look away. He is so beautiful.


Okay, I may or may not have watched the video with Leah. And I may or may not have really enjoyed it. And I may or may not love you even more than before.


Fun podcast!
They not only made you talk about the Iphone, but also Hooters! Quality talk radio.


See? You are fiscally responsible. Take that, hatemailers!!

Also, good luck with EI. We went through it with our son, and had nothing but positive experiences. We're rooting for you!


I can relate to The Broke. We are always The Broke.
I love that pic of Noah! For some reason, it reminds me of something you'd see in an old photo album from the 60s or 70s. It's got that classic look to it. Or maybe it's just me.


Dude, if only I'd thought to offer you the Beaner's tricycle! He has the same one, and although he'd say he's not done with it yet, he really is getting too big for it. We've been thinking about where it will go next.


I love my iPhone. Luvre it!

Noah looks like such a baby in that photo. Adorable.


here is my moment of complete honesty for the day:
when i read that you weren't going to be at blogher, i was VERY sad. VERY. but by the time i got to the end of the post i was a little relieved, because now i know the chances of me making an ass out of myself have been lowered considerably. i mean, if you aren't there, there is no chance of me seeing you across the room and running over like a puppy dog and trying to hug you or something ridiculous like that.

still, i wish you could go. i totally understand the money thing...i wouldn't be able to go either, but i live in driving distance.


WAH. It won't be the same without you, Amy.



The Alpha Mom video. I was there. Laughing WITH you.

I was wondering when those were going to run.

Good times.

Miss you.


(OMG, I just watched the AlphaMom video. MY HAIR! It deflated! And why didn't anyone mention my BLACK BRA was showing. Lord, but I am a mess.)

(I also tell the same story in all three links, don't I? Hi, I'm that blogger who almost shook her kid. Nice to meet you!)

Dr. Johnny Fever

The idea of you eating at Hooters -- VOLUNTARILY! -- has me all a-flutter, Amy. You complete me.

And the fact that the word "pretty" is a link to DGM is at once horrifying and life-affirming. Is this heaven?


No worries, Amy. Your "black bra" was the mic wires for me.


Damn. First Tracey. Now you. No Mamapop at BlogHer? *sob*

We could have totally traded EI/speech delay stories...with a good portion of sensory quirks on the side. ;)


omg, that tricycle picture about knocked me off my chair. Death from cuteness? Totally possible. Also death from realizing I am a bad mommy who never even thought of getting her own child a tricycle yet. Wait, birthday present idea! thankyouthankyouthankyou!!

Any idea where BlogHer will be held next year? Amalah, I would be your roomie anytime! I would even babysit both of our preschoolahs together if you would teach me how to drink my first first Jell-O shot (sad, but true).


Tell Noah that Auntie Tirzah says hi! Love the tricycle picture, he's such a handsome little guy. I need a bottle of wine in my house...I knew I forgot something!


Though I clearly remember reading how to pronounce Amalah the first time I stumbled upon your site, I still managed to always read it as "Uh-Mall-Uh". Imagine my surprise when I heard Leah pronounce it correctly. It's like learning for the first time that Santa doesn't exist. I just keep thinking, really?


I know I'm not supposed to mention it, but other people broke the rule first...

You mentioned that you're dying to know how to prevent Noah from hating you during his teenage years: My exact EVER-present fear.

Also, that smile? When you walk into a room? I know it... and I'm fearing the day that dissapears as well. It's not even anything you can take a picture of; it's too organic and magnificient for a camera.


i hope that you do find that spare grand lying around in time for sxsw 08!






(Sorry. VH1 on the mind; I know it makes no sense. Damn that Fergie!) But your iPhone, new house, and new floors are totally worth it.

Teenage boys only get mad for a minute or two, and then it's over. I have two, and that's been my experience, at least. They still love their mom.

Katie Kat

Duuuuuude, it's like everytime you put up a picture of Noah, my ovaries hurt and my heart thinks "MUST HAVE ANOTHER BABY SO B IS NOT AN ONLY CHILD!!" Only his face does that to me. Very odd.

But, Seriously, OMG he's super kiddles yummy.

Papa Bradstein

Bummer about the trip, because what wouldn't we love more than more footage of you? And also the fun, drinking, talky, talky, talky part of being there. But yeah, you made the right choice: iPhone and kid come first. (Also, we have the same trike, courtesy of Grammy, and not only is the seat a great teething chew toy, but the bell makes the dog tremble and pant. Fun for everyone.)

Account Deleted

oh NO! I was so looking forward to seeing you again this year.

(Not sure why ClubMom forgot about us. pout.)

If you had made this sad announcement earlier, along with a "Donate Now!" button, I bet you could have raised the dough... next year maybe?


It is SO weird to hear someone's voice after reading them for such a long time. And to realize, "Wow! She's like, normal and everything!"

I live outside of Chicago and can't go, because I'm too broke (cheap) to spend the money on the tickets. Then there's the finding of babysitters for the kids and all... I get tired just thinking of it....


I won't lie. I'm super bummed you won't be at BlogHer this year.

But the whole money issue..yeah, I understand that.

I'll see you next time.

(Or maybe when we're in DC this September. Rumor has it a few of us blogger are getting together.)


I just have to say I listened to the SXSW podcast, and I thought it was extremely interesting. As a (relatively) new blogger, and still small, I thought it had great tips. But, it also talked about the pitfalls of being a "big" blogger.
I guess my point is, thanks.


Oh, you're so adorable (in the video). Love the outfit; really love the necklace (do you remember where you got it?). Thanks for sharing these!


Oh...we have that very SAME bike for Landon and is PERFECT for inside the house!!!


Your bra was showing?

Sorry, I was too distracted by your (our!) perfect makeup job by Jesus.


The makeup was gorgeous also. :) Forgot to mention that one!


um. so.

You are totally funny and smart and cute and insightful on the Sirius podcast.

However. Who is the host? She is annoying the HELL out of me as I listen (which is right now). I have no idea who she is, but she reall, REALLY reminds me of the stage moms at my high school theatre group. Taking credit for what their daughters were doing...

[yeah, I'm totally a %!&*$... that's just how I feel.]


Ditto on loving the video. Ditto on fearing the unlove from my future teens. But. At least we have boys. Teenage girls are pure hell. I know. I was one. I still cringe at the memories of me screaming/whining "you're just trying to coonnnnttrrrooooolll me!"


You will be sorely missed. Although without Jennster there to stalk you through the cocktail parties and grab your ass every few minutes...well, it just wouldn't be the same anyway.


I am always shocked to hear that you - gasp - have an AMERICAN accent. In my head you speak Canadian :)

Wacky Mommy

A tricycle can save your life. I know.

No BlogHer for me, either. I'm bummed, but houses come first, even before the Internet.

Heather B.

Seriouisly bummed that you won't be there. I know you've been saying it for awhile, but still, it's sad.


Ummm, am I the only one getting Yvonne's video from AlphaMom?

The comments to this entry are closed.