Dirty Spoiled Rotten Scoundrel
Assessment

It is too hot to write anything; here, have some pictures

My lands. I just went outside to toss an entirely reasonable number of empties into the recycling bin and nearly caught on fire.

Had a playdate with Jodi and Michael yesterday; a playdate that ended with me sort of...camping out at their house for a really long time, well past reasonable playdate hours for various complicated reasons, one of which is that I'm an asshole who doesn't really plan her days all that well. And I think that is perfectly illustrated in this photo:

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That's my kid, eating another kid's dinner, wearing a dishrag for a bib.

(REDRUM! REDRUM!)

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Luckily Michael seemed more than happy to share.

Did you know that  2.5 year olds are like, fully formed little people? Who don't sit in high chairs or use bibs and can like, TELL you that they don't want their little lion, they want their BIG lion, and also about the time they saw a polar bear at the zoo?

Noah spent most of our time at Jodi's playing with a bag of Dungeon & Dragons dice. Oh, and playing in a fort that her husband made for the boys after he got home from work, because you know, I WAS STILL THERE FOR SOME REASON. I DON'T KNOW EITHER.

Noahs_baby2

And now a lighter moment in the life of Noah, Dungeon Master.

Noahs_baby

About 10 minutes later I found him dunking the bottle in my coffee mug. Am guessing Smushie Baby wanted something a little stronger than Invisible Milks.

(By the way, I do realize that by admitting publicly that my kid doesn't talk, I also have no choice but to be honest about the origins of the name Smushie Baby and her Invisible Milks. It was...uh...Jason! Jason named her that. Totally.)

Comments

Ashley

awww smooshie baby

Lauren

So cute! And yes, it is catch-on-fire hot here in PA too.

Neena

Suuure Jason named it Smushie Baby. Yea, we totally believe you.

Marianne

Cute babies! I hope it was a fun day.

Nancy

Dang he's a cutie!!! Did you get a chance to have his hearing tested before Thursday's appt? Good luck with everything and I will be sending you extra special, mother of precious boy also "hugs and kisses" on Thursday!

hello insomnia

I'm stealing the dishrag-as-bib idea.

jive turkey

"Smushie Baby and the Invisible Milks" sounds like one hell of a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book...

Kerry

I'm kind of sort of thrilled to find out that you even know what d&d dice are.

And Noah is cute, but you knew that.

whitney

I think it is hot enough to catch on fire everywhere right now. I know it is here, and I am DYING.

Noah is so effing cute. I love his hair. cute little curls.

Hot Librarian

Hi, I'm new here. Why did it take me so long? I've been reading MamaPop long enough... well it did, and I'm glad I finally made it over because I love your blog.

Noah is gorgeous.

AND (re: previous post) it is a feat of unimaginable willpower for me to leave Target without having made a purchase.

That is all.

Marilyn

I've totally done this too, gone over to a friends house for a playdate and some coffee and ended up staying for dinner. And I always feel so dirty and shameful afterward, like I just trampled all over this woman's good nature and hospitality. Heh.

Mmm... invisible milks....

tiffany

my heart, it has melted.

sarah

I love the never-ending play-date. We had a hard time leaving a friend's house yesterday b/c I could. not. bear. to go back out into the heat and turn the A/C on in my car.

Totally overstayed our welcome to avoid the inferno outside.

Molly

How do I get hair like Noah's? Can you please write up an advice smackdown post on that? I'd be eternally grateful.

Heidi

whoa, have you read this?

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1650352,00.html?cnn=yes

Poopydigs

My almost-2 year old doesn't talk either, but has an almost-2 year old friend who can come up to you and say, "Auntie, please stop smoking" or "me very cute", and other jaw-dropping phrases.

On one hand, I'm jealous of all the verbiage. On another hand, I'm kinda glad I have a toddler who I know won't stick a nicotine patch onto my arm anytime soon.

Thanks for reminding me that I have to schedule the dreaded "appointment" with my doctor for her language skills, or more like lack thereof.

P.S. You have the cuteessssst child. Long time reader.

Hillarie

Hmm. Your playdates sound my friends and mine. I think sometime we have them more for ourselves then the boys.

Two year olds are a riot. What do you know about 3 year olds? My son is moving from toddler to preschooler by turning 3 on Friday. Can. Not. Believe. It.

Anyway- Noah is getting cuter by the day- I check your blog every day but have not commented in forever.

45 min left of work and then off the the Silver Diner for Kids Night in Rockville. Is it wrong that I will drink most of my son's free milkshake?

Stay cool.

Cara

Hey, I like that smooshie baby! Where'd you get her?

Melissa

I feel the urge to share this with you (and apparently everyone who reads through the comment section!)

I really am a fan of your blog. Love it so much!! So much, in fact, that I actually had a dream that I met you and Noah. It's still a little foggy as to the how and why we met, but I remember thinking in my dream how cool you are, and how cute Noah is!!

Ha! I woke up in the morning thinking...hmmm...how bizarre that the blogging world is interfering in my dreams :)

And second, you're REDRUM comment. I am in the midst of teaching my 22 month old niece to say redrum and wiggle her finger. She's so close to saying it!! And to top it all off, my brother just moved to a new condo complex that has red carpeting down the hallways. He was so excited to show me, and said he can't wait to creep out the neighbours with little Livvy riding her trike and muttering redrum....sigh...I'm a great aunt, and he's a better dad.

Helen

People come to my house and never leave too...did Noah get to take a bath and borrow PJs because if he was here...for definate he would have had some too big and not matching PJs to wear home. And well, he may not talk but he role plays and damn well too if I am any judge. Splendidly gorgeous as always.

jodi

Amy, you totally did not oversaty your welcome and you could have stayed allnight. And for the record, dishrag as bib, my idea.

Love the pictures! And Doug had a blast playing with Noah.

We should have left the kids with Doug and gone for a drink.

jodi

oh, and the D & D dice was Doug's. He played in highschool, yep he was a dork. But Michael loves the dice.

Liana

Oh my goodness- Noah looks so cute in his cutoffs!!!
Here in Western PA we have had some torrential rain. But then, we had some yesterday and it got hot again faster than I thought possible- and with the extra water, muggier too!

Anyway, Noah rocks and I hope things go well for you all on Thursday. He looks pretty content even if his bib was a dishrag! :)

Amy M

Hot as heck in WI too. Very muggy.

Adorable boys! Love the picture of Noah feeding Smushie Baby. Some days we all need something stronger than Invisible Milks!

Bethany

Absolutely darling, per usual:) LOVE the makeshift bib!!

Haley-O

My little monkey's 2 years old, and she threw a FIT when I changed the radio station in the car today. Apparently, she really likes the song "Delilah".... So, yeah, when they hit two-ish they're full-out little people alright. Little people with VERY STRONG likes and dislikes!

Angela

OMG too cute with the invisible milks!

Oh, and Tom and I out to dinner last night using a burpcloth as a bib. I'm shocked at how well that worked. Why do we even have 50 million bibs?

zdoodlebub

Love the creative/imitative play of feeding the baby. You have no idea (well, after all the googling, you probably do) what a fabulously wonderfully awesome sign that is. And regarding previous post about Noah loving the belly dancer - you are so right on with how you handled it. Talking him through it, prepping him. You've got great instincts and he came to you for a reason. You are a wonderful mommy.

Christy

How much do I love Noah's plaid shirt & jean shorts! He's such a handsome little guy. :) I'm sure get on the talking train soon (although there's something to be said for cute, quiet guys).

Kelli

You ans Noah can camp at my house anytime you want.

Oh and please, please, please don't take away the curls!

Stimey

My first two kids were speech delayed (one is still quiet, the other Won't. Shut. Up.), but my third (turned two last May) talks like nobody's business. I am shocked (and mostly amused) everyday to hear what he comes up with. Sometimes silent children are a good thing.

Tiffany

Hi there Amy: just read this article and thought of you:

Baby Einsteins not so smart:

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1650352,00.html?cnn=yes

mcewen

I used to have that excuse too! [due to the non-verbal bit of the label] Fortunately, I have had to abandon that excuse and find new and imaginative ways to cover my tracks.
Cheers

mariana perri

I don't care if he is a silent quiet type boy (well... if speaking little was a positive for anything, my husband would have it too!lol), he is growing ever cuter!!!! Afff... I love looking at his pictures as he grows!!!! I hope my soon to be born little Alice is half as cute as he is!!!!

Michelle

noah = sooooooo cute. please don't ever stop taking pictures of him.

Elizabeth

Oh Amy, such good news you have these days. Noah saying "Bye Bye Dada" (hello, melt-your-heart), Noah dancing with the sparkly lady, and now Noah totally accepting sitting in someone else's high chair eating from someone else's plate-that's another good thing for him, right? You are a lucky Mom :)

And yes, please to tell us where we can purchase smooshie baby and smooshie bottle of invisible milks, because Kaitlyn NEEDS one of those!

Britt

Hot! Not! In my neck of the woods it is currently 15 degrees (that's 60 for all of you that haven't been metricsized).

"Smushie Baby and her Invisible Milks" would make a spiffy band name.

I predict that Noah's "delays" are going to be the result of him following his own path and that he's gonna be a figgin genius. If nothing else he's going to have a steady girlfriend by the time he's 5. Beware the cute!

Britt

And to clarify. That 15/60 degree temperature is @ 7:40 in the evening. I'm 3 hours behind the comment post time.

Starbuck

REDRUM -- hee! Love it.

Smushie Baby and her Invisible Milks sounds like the title of a book given to moms by lactaion consultants. 'Tis very cute.

aimee/greeblemonkey

Love the pics, and Jodi rocks!

missbanshee

The hair, it SLAYS ME. Love that little boy.

Jenny H.

Still too cute...

And? Still hotter than the hammered-down-hinges-of-hell.

Living in the south sucks!

Nila

That sounds like a good play date to me. When they last that long it means that mom is having just a good a time as the kids.

Maria

Adorable boys!

Where might I find a smushie baby with invisible milk? (I don't have children, so forgive me if this is a stupid question.)

Amalah

My in-laws bought Smushie Baby for us when I was pregnant, so I'm not sure where they got it. The tag says IQ Baby and it came with a little activity blanket. Noah's ignored it his entire life until this week, when he suddenly decided it's the most hilarious thing ever.

And yes, I've read the article about how TV = speech delays. Awesome, thanks.

Maria

Thank you, Amy. I found Smushie Baby at wonderbrains.com.

Cinda

I've been lurking about for a bit and today I'm compelled to tell you that your child has to be one of the CUTEST kiddos I've seen. Adorable!! You are one lucky mama!

christie

aww too cute

stacey

REDRUM! Love it. Haven't heard (read) that in years.

Please let us know what Infants and Toddlers has to say asap after they leave tomorrow.

If they deny him services, I will encourage you go raise holy hell.

That's what Montgomery County I & T told us a few years back. They basically said our son was on the slow side of the normal range and ineligible for services. At the time that made us feel better. If he's ineligible, then he must be ok, right? NOT! Hoping that's not how this plays out for you!

Her Bad Mother

Yeah, and my husband was the one who name WonderBaby's dink-shaped lovey (don't ask) Lil' Phallus.

Smushie Baby is a noble name, in comparison. And more descriptive, even, because he (she? it?) certainly is smushy, whereas Lil' Phallus (the lovey) is anything but little. Tho' certainly phallic.

Anyhoo.

Stephanie A.

is it a bad thing that my dictionary.com word of the day today was abed and the first thing I thought of was that it must be what Noah calls his bed?

sometimes I think I read too many blogs.

Becca

OMG! LOVE your boy! He is simply too precious. And love the baby doll. Am currently searching for one to buy for my unborn daughter (who is overstaying her welcome--how did you finally get Noah to dislodge? We're past the due date, here!)

LionAndMagicBoy

When you finally feel compelled to cut off those curls (age 2.5 is good in my opinion, or when he can drive, maybe), post a video of the event. Not that you wouldn't.

HollowSquirrel

ack too cute. What a sweet little Noah! I, too, tend to stay past playdate regulation hours and kind of finally give in to go to our hot, un-air-conditioned home only after repeated subtle attempts by the other mom to get me the f out of her house. I did get pizza out of the deal once.

Mrs. Q.

Don't cut Noah's hair. Ever.

Smoosh.

Cassandra

Good luck tomorrow, Amalah. Don't stress too much (ha, if that's possible) and let us know how it goes if you feel like it.

(And the last two pictures of Noah? I think they are the most adorable. He's sweet AND cute! He's a ladykiller!)

Loren

Thinking about y'all! Hope everything goes well tomorrow!

tiffany

i have drama.
i found a smushie baby and blanket on amazon to give all my best friend's new baby...but! i cannot find any invisible milks! where are the invisible milks!?!

tiffany

p.s.
please don't say that i can't find them because they are invisible.

Annie

De-lurking- love your blog! Just had to say that Noah is one of the cutest kids I have EVER seen. And I work with small children so I've seen trillions of them. I've also been thinking about your upoming assessment, hoping it is a goes well, and sending lots of good thoughts your way!

1peanut

De-lurking to tell you:
1. I love your blog &
2. Good luck today at Noah's assesment.

Jessie

Good luck today! I'm keeping you all in my thoughts.

BOSSY

Bossy will comment on your latest post just as soon as she takes a shower under a fire hose. Followed by a short bath in a big ocean.

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