Assessment
If you thought new windows were boring, just wait until you hear about my new dishwasher

That's Hott

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I wrote this sign as a reminder for the window guys, who are here today to finally install our long-awaited new and non-crap windows, but I'm finding it extremely helpful for myself, as I keep walking into the bathroom, noticing the sign and making a panicked run up the stairs, cursing the terrible inconvenience of not being able to use the toilet closest to my body at all times, and finally remembering how I used to live with just one toilet that was on a different floor about 99% of the time, even while pregnant, and I wonder: where the fuck was my medal?

In other news, did I mention the new windows? The team descended on our house about an hour ago and I am surrounded by a literal symphony of destruction as they smash and destroy the old (chipped peeling drafty non-stay-upping) windows and there is no better sound in the world. I'm tempted to ask them to leave one behind for me to take a baseball bat to, Office-Space style, in the backyard.

Jason and I had a little anniversary thing last week -- nine damn years, he's been putting up with my nonsense -- so we celebrated this weekend by pawning Noah off on the in-laws and heading downtown to a hotel. I believe there was supposed to be some romantic connotation to that, but all I could focus on was I GET TO SLEEP IN! I GET TO SLEEP IN!

Jason had champagne waiting in our room to set the mood, while I blew past it and collected every extra decorative pillow in the room to block the half-inch of natural light that could potentially poke through the bottom of the curtains and wake us up in the morning. Jason awoke in tomb-like pitch-blackness around, oh, 11 am, while I woke up every hour on the hour from 3 am on because nobody tells you that you are physically unable to sleep through the night after giving birth because somewhere, out there, your child might need you to change his pants or get his foot unstuck from the crib slats or check to make sure he's still breathing.

After checkout we went over to visit some friends in the hospital who just had a baby, and I held that tiny squeaky little boy for as long as I could, nuzzling his delicious little head and assuring my friend that seriously, this is the best thing ever and you are going to have so much fun.

I didn't tell her about the sleep thing though. What's the point? She'll learn and then one day withhold that very information from another friend who is debating having children, and instead tell her that this is the best thing ever and she is going to have so much fun, and that's how the human race has existed all these years.

On Friday Noah started calling things HOT, complete with a jazz-hand-like STOP! gesture and a slobbery attempt at blowing. The sun poking through the (crappy crappy soon-to-be-gone) windows is HOT. His morning toaster waffle is HOT. My coffee cup is HOT. If I ask him to find something HOT in Goodnight Moon he immediately points at the fireplace.

One of his little friends has been saying HOT for months now, and I know I've read about other people's toddlers doing the same thing.

But I can't help it. Noah says HOT. Our first non-noun. Our first concept, our first adjective and our first word without the "a" sound in front of it.

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I'm so proud of him. And it's the best thing ever.

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Comments

Lori

New windows. What a boring way to spend discretionary windows. I guess it means you are a grown up now!
Gorgeous photos of Noah.

Amy H

He is just so darn cute. I can't get over how absolutely adorable he is. You don't need words when you are that cute! :-)

Kelly

If you ask them, I can guarantee those nice window men will let you toss one into the dumpster (assuming you have one) with as much smashy goodness as you can muster. They understand. Seriously.

eva

Congratulations on 9 years! You will love having new windows - we just re did the big ass front window and - yay - no more condensation dripping and drooling down into the living room. The new windows will make the house less HOT in the summer and more HOT in the winter.

Kimszym

Cute. Love Noah's shirt. Where is it from.

dutch from sweet juniper

sleeping in? now that does sound HOT.

and I loved the part about how LYING has kept the whole durned human comedy perpetuating itself down through the generations.

dianabanana

Belated congrats on the anniversary and a big YAY for Noah!!

Liana

Congratulations on 9 (hot?) years of marriage! Woohoo!!!! Also on new windows, and on Noah's first adjective (and ongoing incredible cuteness)! Lots to celebrate :) :)

jive turkey

As a lady who loves sleeping in and has been thinking about going off the ol' birth control pill, I will pretend I didn't read anything in your post except "this is the best thing ever and you are going to have so much fun."

Congrats on your anniversary! Commitment, like waffles, is HOT.

MMM

Yay! Congratulations!!!!

Must be Motherhood

Wait what? We're not supposed to complain to the childless about sleep deprivation? Woops. Guess I missed the memo...

Congrats on the anniversary and the new windows!
LOVE the doggie shirt on Noah, too. That's hawt.

Sils

So, my sister has finally reached the point (herchildren at 8 and 4) where she enjoys going away without them. She just went on a 3 days trip for a concert and told me, "I thought for sure I would wake up Saturday sobbing... instead on Monday I was a little teary eyed thinking, "I have to go back?"

Apparently it will pass.

Marilyn

Aww. He's just perfect, Amy. And it is the best thing ever, isn't it? We're anniversary buddies, if I recall (8/8/98?), so happy (belated) anniversary to you!

Angela

Hurray for Noah! That's great! And he is just adorable in that pic. "Talk to the hand mom." Or is that "Arghh no more pictures!"

Caroline

I would SO wear THOSE shorts and THAT t-shirt. Noah (and his mama) is seriously stylin'.

And seriously, heartwrenchingly cute. Holy cow, Amy. What a gorgeous, sweet little guy you have there. I am wondering: what is your all-time favorite photo of your boy, so far? The one you'd rescue in a flood? Will you post it sometime? Yeah, we've all probably seen it... but I am sure we'd all be happy to see it again. Because we're just LIKE that, you know. :o)

Hillarie

Paris can eat her heart out. Now that's hot.

Is anyone else so excited for the Hills?

At 36, I should not be THIS excited.

Caroline

Oh and sheesh HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. I believe the ninth anniversary IS indeed the sleep anniversary! Nice to hear that you celebrated it properly, or at least, as properly as a mother can. I promise you, cross my heart, it gets better.

Marianne

Happy Anniversary! And happy non-a-sound-adjective to Noah! He's so bleepin' cute.

Big Mama

I never tell my newly pregnant friends about the impending doom of never sleeping again. I consider it an early baby present. I just smile and nod while they discuss how uncomfortable they are being pregnant and can't wait until they deliver so that they can FINALLY get a good night's sleep.

Right.

Kristabella

He's got the "don't photograph me, am too famous" paparazzi thing down too with his hand.

I like he's at the posing for the camera phase too.....so frakkin' cute!

Lindsay

Congratulations on so many things--the nine years, the language development, the patience and faith and dedication you've clearly demonstrated as you forge through pusing Noah to the day where you want to tell him to shut up already.

And I must say that I have a 15-month old who is the cutest baby boy alive, Noah is definitely right behind him in line. He's so damn cute I just want to eat him up (in that mama, delicious, love way--not in the creepy Silence of the Lambs way.

Wacky Mommy

He's kinda cute, that kid. Happy Anniversary, dudes.

birdgal

(cue music) 'STOP! In the name of H-O-T, before you break my heart....' Sorry, that's all I could think of after that first picture! My daughter LOVES to say 'HOT!' even if whatever I'm giving her is lukewarm. I think she just likes to scare me into thinking I've just given her a scalding waffle or something.

Alias Mother

Thank you for not mentioning the sleep thing to your friend. That's all people have been telling me about for six months. "Get your sleep now! You'll never sleep again! HAHA!" At which point I punch them in the face.

Just kidding. But I want to. Because I can't sleep as it is now and knowing that I have slept the last good sleep of my life already and didn't know it is NOT HELPING ME.

Helen

Definitely ask to smash some windows, what a treat that would be. Noah is so perfect and the curls and those little hands,I could eat him on a biscuit.

Missie

Seriously. Quit with giving Noah cuteness tablets. No one little person can possibly handle that level of prolonged adorableness indefinitely. He may 'splode.

Lisa M

I figure I can sleep when the kids have moved out. And congrats on 9 years!

Christina

Yeah for HOT!

Now where in the world did you get that cute t-shirt? I so want one for my son!?!?!?!

Starbuck

Look, Noah is holding up his hand at mom and saying, "Hot!". And with a smile like that, soon all the girls will be saying "hot" when he walks in.

Bethany

Oh he's so scrumptious! Hot. Progress that's great. I love his longish shaggy, "i'm a outdoorsy hottie type" hair. Are your new windows wooden Pella one's? I've been fantasizing about wooden Pella windows since we bought our new house that is nice but it has metal non-wooden Pella windows....no, I am not getting paid by Pella for this post.

Mo

Holy shit the cuteness.

andie

Damn, that kid is cute.

Robyn

Congrats on the 'versary, and I had to laugh at "HOT"... my son does the same thing. Isn't it great? Just wanted to say thanks for sharing all the speech delay stuff... my son is currently going through a near-identical thing and it's so awesome to hear someone else's take on it. And it just goes to show that even the speech therapists (that's me) freak out about very little word their kid says.

Noah is too flippin cute for words. If we lived just a little closer I'd track down your email and beg to get on the playdate waiting list!

Elizabeth

Happy Anniversary! You kids don't look like you've been married a day over eight years :)

And Noah, way to go little man! HOT is a very important adjective, you know. Just make sure you blow on the coffee first before drinking it ;)

Kathy

I'm just going to have to stop reading your blog because I cannot handle the absolute GORGEOUSNESS of your son. I cannot. My children are 9 and 10 and this unbelievable baby fever isn't being helped any by seeing your gorgeous, scrumptious, delectable son.

Cassandra

Awww, good for Noah! At least he didn't learn "hot" by putting his hand on the open oven door like I did.

And I just wanted to say I've spent the last few weeks plodding through your archives, because I love how you right, and gaddamnit, if you think Noah grew up fast, you should have experienced it all in two weeks. I almost cried. :)

April

Oh I remember that! My daughter will say EVERYTHING is hot. Now its just another excuse not to eat something. Its HOT, and will shake her jazz hands around as if shes trying to cool it down.
(She started doing it around Noahs age as well, and has been doing it ALL the time, its cute AT FIRST)

Cassandra

And I'm slightly mentally ill and meant to tell you I love how you "write". I should cut down on my multi-tasking, yo.

Maria

Noah knows he is no longer going to HOT with the new windows. :-)

Happy anniversary!

Chantel

Cool, my daughter started saying HOT this week too. I'm not surprised they picked it up. It was 112 degrees here the other day. So hot, I needed abeer.

Kelly

Yay for saying "hot"!! And Congrats to you guys on 9 years! I would be doing the SAME thing if we got a hotel... SLEEEEEEEP!!

Amy M

Congrats! My hubby & I just celebrated 7 yesterday! (with a random disease the boy brought home from day care) My mom made fun of me because for out present, I asked her to watch Vic so we could take naps. We're so romantic!

Noah is adorable. I love the "HOT" photo!

Enjoy those new windows! Hopefully, it'll get cool enough to turn off the stupid a/c so I could actually open ours!

Ree

Yea. everything else said, and
WHAT A CUTE SHIRT.

Oh, and how nice of Noah to learn MY NAME
next

:-)

Kristine

When I got the windows tinted in a car, I had to tape the window controls, and I still forgot and tried to go through drive thoughs.

And not to be an echo or anything, but way cute shirt.

Anna

Love his jazz hands!

chantelle

Awe! That's awesome.

mk

God he gets cuter everytime I see him! I love his hair longer like that! Anyways - YEAH for HOT!!!! It is the best thing ever!

Kyla

Awesome. He's so cute.

Molly

You rock Noah!
And happy anniversary!

Kathryn

i'm ready for the vimeo of noah with the big sunglasses and prada purse announcing everything that's HOT. Oh, and Ceiba should be in there too, because yeah, she's HOT.

Hootie

STILL THE CUTEST DAMN CHILD ON THE INTERNET!!!!
AND HOORAY FOR HOT!!!!

drawdawn

Yay for Noah! Oh, and I just want to say that I hope you don't go into SHOCK when you eventually cut Noah's hair! It's adorable don't get me wrong - but they age like 20 years when you finally cut their hair! I cried. Yay for windows! Boo for broken toilet.

Marie

That is HOT! He's awesome.

And those bins! I want them. IKEA, right? Why can we not have an IKEA in western NY. Not fair!

Happy anniversary to you!!

kelly

Happy anniversary to you and Jason!

Hooray for Hot! Go Noah.

High fives for new windows. If we weren't renting, the drafty crappy cheap ineffectual windows in our place would have to go.

Traci

You are so right! Noah is beautiful and perfect!
I've been following the blog for awhile and then couldn't due to technical difficulties, but when I picked back up I was very surprised to hear about your concerns about him.
I'm glad the assessment went well and that you decided to make a BFD about it. The good news is that he is really advanced in social emotional, which means that he's going to make someone very happy in the future, and that, yes, you are a great mom. I'm sure that Noah will make a ton of progress. I see it all the time with early intervention kids.
I wish you and Noah the best, and Oh! Happy anniversary
Traci

jen

congrats! both on the nine years and on the hott-ness that is your kid doing Paris Hilton proud. heh.

Abra Leah

Yeah, Noah! Now you need to teach him to say, "Mama HOTT!" :)

superblondgirl

Delurking just to say that his grin in that last picture is absolutely priceless. That's, as Paris Hilton would say, HOT.

Treena

Happy 9th anniversary.

Yay for Noah...he is so ADORABLY DELICIOUS.

I love his outfit, he's one stylin little guy.

earlyduckie

So completely off topic but what type of storage system do you have for Noah's toys? we just remodeled our basement and I need something to store Will's toys in.

Also Happy Anniversary and cute baby and all that other stuff :)

And Hillarie I am so excited too! My husband thinks I am nuts...

Simone

Your son is seriously beautiful.

Tirzah

Cute, cute, cute, cute, did I mention CUTE?! HAHA He's adorable! Hoorah for new windows!

alison

If your anniversary is 8-8-98, then we're anniversary twins too! :) I picked it because I knew we could never forget that date...okay, because I knew my HUSBAND would never forget it. Haha. Happy 9th!

Jessica

Yay!!!! Go Noah, Go Noah!

Heidi

Hi, Noah is such a cutie! I wanted to tell you you're on the right track with him as far as getting an assessment done. I know it can be scary, but it's the right thing to do, and it sounds like you're in good hands. I worked for an early intervention program in Utah and loved it! I have a blog that talks about some of the speech related things you mention in your blog..how we can help our kids with their speech development, helpful tips and advice for parents about this important stuff. I hope all goes well for you!

Heidi
http://mommyspeechtherapy.com/

Suebob

Now he officially has the same vocab level as Paris Hilton. He should blow by her in a couple weeks or so.

steph

We're taking our first non-kid vacation, since kids, in a few weeks. It's been 5 years. I'm thinking, after reading this, that Xanax might be nice for our getaway? Seriously. I think I'm starting to freak out right about now that we'll be 2000 miles away form our kids.
(gnawing on fingernails)

LJ

Holy Crow! That kid is gorgeous!
LJ

Kimberly

Just delurking to say Noah is so damn cute it makes my ovaries hurt.

zdoodlebub

What a coincidence that the Little River Band was the soundtrack to my own home improvement project this weekend. "Happy Anniversary baybeh - gotchyoo on my...MIIIIII-IND."

He's so damn cute. And yay for Hot. I know there're lots of parents posting who know what it feels like - to witness new things that assuage the worry. We know in a very, deep, celebratory, knowing way what a big deal things like Hot can be.

Oh and my husband travels a lot for work. I always want to beat him senseless when he complains about not sleeping well on the road. Alone. In the dark. As cold as he wants it. With no four-year-old toes poking your butt. But truthfully, when not in my own bed, I don't usually get good zzz's until about the third night. Oh, the onset of high-maintenance-ness that comes with old age.

M

My son made that very same gesture only it was followed by, "I CAN DO IT!" - meaning back off momma, I am doing this on my own!

Noah is one cute kid!

mcewen

The first of many, I hope. [words and anniversaries]
Cheers

Marlo

If you do the Office Space smashing on the window, please please have someone video-tape it, music and all and share with us.
9 years and Jazz-hand "hot" are two very awesome accomplishments. And I'm hoping the sleeping in thing gets better at some point, like when they're teenagers and sleeping in too. Maybe by then the effect will wear off?

mariana perri

Can Noah get any cuter? Is that humanly possible????

kerrianne

My mom loves to recount the story about my first "non-noun" being "full." Mostly because apparently I would rub my arm when I said it.

jodi

Happy Anniversary.

And it's physically impossible for me to sleep past 7:30 am. It totally sucks.

Sarah

Great photographs of the boy! :)

Jennie

His hair! It's so perfect! And wavy! And blonde!

Katie (The Yap)

Does he actually pose for the camera? And if so, please give us advice on how to do that miracle task. My kid turns the back of her head to the camera unless I trick her. But I can only trick her once a day.

Darling photos! (Well, not the toilet one)

Elyse

What would be even MORE hott is if there was no warning and they ended up using it...that's a level of sexy many can not reach.

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