The Excitement of a Tuesday
Still Alive

The Suicide Hours

Jason is in Chicago for the rest of the week. A last-minute business trip. I am not a fan of the last-minute business trip.

I am a fan of my husband coming home at a reasonable hour, preferably right before the hour when I lose my flipping mind over being cooped up in the house all day with only a toddler for company, a toddler who is pulling out the measuring cups and spoons for the millionth time and yeah, it was cute this morning but it is NOT CUTE ANYMORE ARGH STOP WHINING STOP CLIMBING ON ME STOP HEAD BUTTING ME WITH YOUR GIGANTIC HEAD ARGH OH LOOK IT'S DADDY HOW WAS YOUR DAY, DEAR? WHAT? SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU I AM ALREADY UPSTAIRS CURLED UP IN MY CLOSET AND HAVING A NICE CONVERSATION WITH MY SHOES.


(Yes. He really does sort them out like that.)

The god's honest truth is that by 6 pm or thereabouts, my patience is pretty much tapped out. Noah's running around like a spaz, hollering for DADA DADA DADA DADA and there are chicken nuggets in the microwave that I know he won't eat and I'm rubbing my temples while spooning applesauce into a Dora bowl that I KNOW will end up upside down on top of the dog who is YAP YAP YAP YAPPING because OMG, THERE'S SOMEONE ON THE SIDEWALK ACROSS THE STREET and the cat is underfoot begging for food that I KNOW he'll sniff and turn up his nose at, and then the dog will eat it and puke it up in our bedroom later and all I need in the world is for Jason to walk through the front door and...I don't know. He doesn't really DO anything, except maybe temporarily distract me from my very mean thoughts about a matching set of dog/cat/toddler crates.

That, and he speaks English.


(This photo should be accompanied by the sweet EH EH EH EH EH sounds of a tantrum windup.)


(Beware the edible-looking feet: they are filthy because I don't bathe my child much sometimes.)

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to retrieve all the parts to my KitchenAid mixer from in between the couch cushions while Noah naps,  and then perhaps I should just go ahead and stick some Pinot Grigio in the fridge. 



A little wine cures everything.

Good luck--it's no fun when Da Da Da Da is out of town.


Actually, that should say, a little wine, AFTER putting the little boy to bed early each night Da Da Da Da is gone cures everything.

I think I need a glass of wine myself. But 3 o'clock might be pushing it just a bit.


Noah really is so cute - finally the melt downs - aren't they so much freaking fun? I used to think I was "not a good mom" becuase my patience would run out at 5:00, and I would steam until my hubby could save me... come save me... WHY THE F%*K are you late? ha - good times ;-)


Congrats on making it to 6pm on a daily basis. I am usually rocking back and forth willing myself to hear my husband's car come down the road by 4:30
....and once this next baby is born my rocking will include a martini shaker so that my drink will be ready by the time he walks in the door and I can excuse myself to my bathtub.


I felt this same exact way yesterday, only I was left wondering if I could just strap him to the roof of the car while I drove to work!


I think you guys are brave...dude, I get home at 5:30 and she goes to bed by 7:00...and I need a break by THEN...8 hours with a toddler instead of an office... that is willpower right there...

Maxine Dangerous

Baybay feets! *head explodes from cuteness* :)

I feel you ... in a different way. I work with my dad all day. By 5 or 6 pm, there is no more "you're keen" or "you're my hero" or "wow, this job rocks sometimes." The only thing I am capable of saying -- other than "buh buh buh," a la Goldie Hawn in "Overboard" -- is "YABBA DABBA DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

But I've no dinosaur to slide down to get to my car. I should send out a company memo about that. :D


The Eh Eh Eh Eh precursor.

it's my favorite.


Thank God someone else feels the way I do too.


Ugh ... well I am a SAHM of FOUR boys ... and I homeschool them to boot. Yes, questionable mental status at times.

I'd go straight to the vodka and skip the wine altogether. Wait until bedtime (which crazily always moves up when dad is out of town) and then CRASH.

Rent girl movies that your dh wont watch with you, drink, eat, be merry. Calories dont count when you are single parenting.


Oh, it's like you're in my head! I get itchy about 5:30, and when my husband doesn't arrive by 6:15, I'm totally annoyed. Then, he wants to talk about his day and what happened at work (which I totally want to discuss but not right THIS second). He'll talk over the screaming and whining, and I want to poke my eyes out unable to listen over the noise. Then, we're in a mad dash to finish cooking, eat, bathe the kids, put them to sleep, and pass out (hopefully with a glass of wine in the hand).

jive turkey


Pinot Grigio will help. It always helps.


The Pinot should already be in the fridge. Never let them catch you unprepared. I've had some days that sent me over to the warm-white-wine side, and it is no place to be.


Just have to quickly say that I'm having the exact day you are having, other than the business trip is planned. Toddler is currently napping, and it's so PEACEFUL. As soon as he wakes up, though, it's going to be back to Eh Eh Eh Eh Eh and the full-blown floor kicking screaming tantrum. I literally pull my hair out, and all those years growing up I thought it was just a figure of speech.


I hear you... I really don't know how you SAHMs do it, and I think single parents are, like, superheroes complete with capes and secret identities or something. Good luck - call up a girlfriend who doesn't have kids to come over and "hang out".


Oh my God, I totally have to get my husband to read this. He's a stay-at-home dad, and he sounds JUST LIKE THIS every day when I get home! I feel sorry for him and cook dinner while he vegetates on the couch, with a 2-year-old climbing on him, only by the time I get home, I think he's so brain-dead, he doesn't even notice.

I know he can feel your pain, for real. Hang in there! Noah is just as cute as can be, too, by the way!


cheers to that! my husband is a wildland firefighter. he is gone a lot and i barely make it, with 2 under 2.5 . but, like you, the wine flows freely here. wish you could come over. river could be our babysitter.


I feel like this every day at 5:00 and I usu make my husband crazy by calling him again to ask when he'll be getting home, like it will somehow be different than every other day so far!


I can so relate! If my husband even works an hour late, it throws me off.
That said...he's leaving for 10 whole days to go to Colorado. And he's not taking the kids. Not a single one. He's abandoning me with a seven (and a half!) year old, a 4 year old and a 2 year old. To go on an effing elk hunting trip. I think it's complete bullshit and I better get a damn good anniversary present this year.


Late afternoon playdates always help when Daddy is out of town. By the way, next time you need a dishwasher, go to Bray and Scarff Appliances.


Don't read my blog post today, then. You don't want to see what the future holds. LOL

Ack, there are times I just want to tuck them into their little bassinettes and swaddle the blankets tightly and all that, but when they are 5 and 11, they won't stand for that anymore.

And the 3 year old? Ugh. I give up. She's worn me down and she wins. Commence coloring all my walls with pretty markers, I don't care anymore.


My husband routinely arrives home at 8 p.m. after a 14 hour day. Is it any wonder I'm a borderline alky? Thanks, though - reading this post made me remember the wine I just bought needs to be refrigerated STAT!


The witching hour... It's that much longer when there's no break in sight.

And, dirty or not, those feet are still cute.


This is exactly why I went back to work: I went absofuckinglutely batty in my son's 12th month. There were days when I called my husband crying at 3pm to say YOU HAVE TO COME HOME NOW. Many days. He's great, and I love him, but in order to appreciate him fully, I can't be the one taking care of him all day and all night, exclusively.

anne nahm

Oh, I feel ya. 4:30ish is totally bath time around here.

The kids get a little splashy exercise and as long as I'm feeling rather 'pro' on the concept of keeping their heads above water, I can read a book or floss my teeth or drink the Scope.


Oh, man. Best post ever. I would send it to my husband for reference, but then I'd have to give him a minute to read it when he got home.

My Buddy Mimi

As crazy as it sounds, I usually just pack up Mimi and leave the house. Even if it is a screaming mess of whining toddler, it is at least in a different location.

Marmite Breath

Lose your flipping mind?

Don't you mean lose your motherflippin' mind?

(prays to lolcats that html tags work since I am a lahoo-suh-hur)

I've been a stay at home Mom for ten years so I feel your pain. Toddlers are yet another reason why pot should be legal. I'm just sayin'.

After he goes to bed, you would forget the "eh eh eh" until the next day.


That sucks. I hate when Doug is away. I need the hour to myself while he is playing w/ Michael.


i hear ya, sista. I hear ya!


Ummm... trust me, you'll do just fine while Jason is outta town. It's when he gets back, that night after Noah goes to sleep. THEN you will lose your cool and fall all to freakin' pieces. The tears and sniffles and snot makes for some mighty attractive "welcome home" sex, I'm sure.

At least that's what I do.


I feel your pain! Times 3. But it all sucks. My hubby is out of town every week from Monday-Thursday, so I don't even decompress until Friday. By then, I'm drunk.


Sometimes I'm so tired and forget about going for the tequila, ugh, WINE - I need to put alcohol on my shopping list - excuse me! LOL


When Daddy is gone here, about once a week, we have movie night, indulging in chicken nuggets, hot dogs, chips etc... and other nasty habits. Long bath times help - for the kids - I spray a little shaving cream on the walls and they go to town. It might help to have something special to do only when he's away.


Oh my god. Seriously? Let's never read an Amalah-rant in the library at school. I'm giggling like a 10 year old & all these college-student-oh-snap-I'm-so-smart Smartie McSmartie-Pants are scoffing at me. But good luck with finding pieces to the KitchenAid whos-a-whatsit. & don't worry about bathing the child; I hear dogs do a good job at grooming.


My hubby's gone this week too and left me with a 5 week old. And my birthday was yesterday. And maybe I stubbed my toe. Ok, I didn't stub my toe, but the rest is totally true. I'm sure having a toddler is harder than a 5 week old since she sleeps sometimes. So I'm sorry Jason is gone.



Enjoy the vino.


There is nothing worse then the hours between the end of nap time and when Daddy gets home. Except maybe knowing that he isn't going to be home. I swear I wait by the door with the kids, then make a mad dash for my bedroom and do the unthinkable, I pee. In private. Without and audience or a running commentary from my 4 year old on just what am I doing and why do I have that thing in my panties and when will she have boobies and can she have a thing in her panties and.... well you get the picture. I feel your pain sista


Thanks so much for writting about this! I feel the same way everyday!


I feel the same way, except that I have a puppy and not a toddler. Around 5ish I get really sick of the dog chasing the cat, eating the cat litter and then peeing on the floor. Seriously. At least I can put her outside and leave her there. I don't suggest doing the same with Noah.


My husband worked a lot of overtime last week and I thought I was going to go insane. And my kid isn't even mobile.

Oh, I feel for you Amy.


I guess there's a reason they say the ugly ones don't make it right?

I feel your pain. Husband coming home = good. Last minute business trip = perfectly good reason to begin drinking at noon.


Ooh, I remember the head butting. My oldest would do it while sitting on my lap, which he wanted to do, so why was he head-butting me? Eventually, they learn to amuse themselves without killing you...and you find yourself longing for the days of the sweet, towheaded toddler boy. Can you tell my youngest is turning 10 tomorrow? Had hair just like Noah's. Sniffle. If I see Jason around here, I'll send him right home.

Black Belt Mama

I hear you. My husband had a last minute business trip this week too. I am one unhappy camper by the time my girls go to bed, and when I know I won't get a break I wake up feeling grumpy to begin with.

Here's to hoping he gets an early flight home so you can talk to you shoes. Sounds like a dream to me. . .


Oh how I know how you feel. Nick has been on a work trip just about every other week this whole summer. Monday he heads out to Houston again... and he just told me that sometime between now and mid Sept. he'll be in Sweden for a week. It gets VERY hard to be alone with a 2 year old... especially now that the pool isn't open in the morning anymmore (???) and our last summer YMCA class was last week. And it's been raining all week! HELP!!!


Lovely, lovely wine to take the edge of a hubbie's business trip is definitely the perscription or will at least dull the pain. We have three boys - five and under - and my husband I always joke that the minute he left town, everything automatically went to shit. Guaranteed. This culminated in the amazing week from hell when he went to California for a week and my second day in my three year old and one year old locked me in the basement. I had to tell my three year old to find a knife to pop the lock. (Yes, genius parenting for sure.)

The kicker was when I gave an interview for a local magazine a few months later about balancing work and motherhood - and I all could gab about was being locked in the basement and drinking wine to recover. All the other women sounded so together and me? Not so much.

Anyway - much luck to you this week - and the tip from me? Just try to stay out of the basement. (grin.)


DH came home from a weeklong business trip when I was home with Snotty McScreams-a-lot. He said he was tired as soon as he hit the door. I had to count to ten.

And your floors are pretty!


It's like that every day times THREE here! HAHA Sucks.


I just want to ruffle his hair. The feet are cute, but man, I just want to mess up his hair.

Enjoy your pinot!


I so know how you feel. My husband had to go away for work for 6 weeks leaving me with a 3 year old and 7 month old. Needless to say there was a lot of advil used in those 6 weeks and I might have locked my 3 year old in her room a couple of time oh boy accident, of course.


I love wine. It is an essential piece of our bedtime routine.
It is even better when your hubby calls at 4:30 to say that "An old buddy who I never see invited me out for drinks. I won't be to late might make it home by 7 or 8, don't wait dinner for me"
oh yeah , the wine REALLY flows then...
Can my toddler come over and destroy your kitchen? it looks cleaner than mine...


I so know how you feel. My husband had to go away for work for 6 weeks leaving me with a 3 year old and 7 month old. Needless to say there was a lot of advil used in those 6 weeks and I might have locked my 3 year old in her room a couple of time on accident, of course.


Actually, I was just buying our weekly "allotment" of wine this evening and a guy waiting in line at the checkout told me this staggering percentage of parents who have one drink an evening - like 35% or some number like that. He said it was reported in Parents mag.

But of course, we know how "reliable" Parents magazine is, eh?

Wacky Mommy

i love the feet. And the pinot grigio.


6pm IS the magical hour, isn't it? When I hear my husband start to come down from the office, the glee is hard to suppress.


Oh, I hear you. DO I EVER hear you!!!


When my daughter was doing the full-fledged EHEHEHEHEH I AM SCREAMING BECAUSE YOU STUPID PEOPLE ARE NOT RECOGNIZING THE GREATNESS OF THE ALISON WHO IS NOW TWO AND THEREFORE RULES THE WORLD last night, my hub looked at me and said, "When are this child's parents coming to get her?"


OHHHHH, how I feel for you.

Days like this are why I can not, could never ever, be a stay at home mom. I envy you all the time with your little darling but I NEED conversations in english everysingle day about things other than Cars (movie or otherwise), toot toots (trains), or crackers (a word Grant now uses for ALL food).

I say... Tivo the Cars movie and enjoy the snuggles for yourself... add a little of that chilled Pinot Grigio and it sounds like a lovely mommy/son evening!


amazing, my house is like that too! and i don't even have kids yet!


Oh, I am right there with you!

One 21 month old + 4:30 = One crazy Mom who needs a nap!

And hubby gets upset after I've called him 15 times when he hasn't come home by 5:30..please! Oh, and I go straight for the Goldschlager!!


Ugh. Thank God I am not going insane. There are others.
I am fine allllll day (mostly) and very accommodating, and then it seems that when my husband comes home I lose all patience. My almost 2 year old does the same uh uh uh tantrum windup right around dinner time most nights. That is why I sit here at the computer drinking wine after everyone else is asleep. Ahhhh.


Ohhh and I just read all of these wonderful comments- there is LOTS of wine drinking going on!
I keep thinking there is something wrong with my child that he is unhappy or depressed because he cries and throws tantrums, but apparently he is just 2!! Thanks ya'll!


my husband is out of town too.

i just figured out, my four year old peed in my bed.

i don't want to sleep on my couch. i hate my couch....

Erin - ExpectingExecutive

Well, you certainly have a lot of support with this one so I will just have to refer to all of the posts above me and say "I'm with what they said!"

It does seem like your blogsite would be a wonderful place for a vineyard to do a little advertising!

Hope you catch a break, and a buzz, and some rest soon!



Oh, so the chicken nuggets aren't for you?

Good luck.

(I hate when my husband leaves on business trips. Reminds me why I'm not a single mom. I couldn't do it.)


So, this is my first comment on your blog but I am a long time "lurker". I am so glad to know that I'm not the only one who hits the suicide hour too. I thought it was because I was a bad mom or something. My hubby is a general manager of a restaurant so the majority of the week, I'm a single mom. Know how you feel and we do have a very large dog crate that I too have thought about putting all the animals (including kid) in.

Hang in there...and drink the wine, it takes the edge off.


When I was a SAHM and my kids were that young, the only thing that saved me was the early bed time. 7:30 or bust. Now at days, it's 8:30 and that's when all the magic happens.


Crap. My baby is not even 5 mo and my suicide hour hits around 6:30 PM. I wonder if we can live off of a part-time income when baby is a toddler, because it sounds like I might not last past 3. Hope you put the Pinot Grigio in the fridge after all.


And ha ha! I just read someone's earlier comment about the ugly ones not making it. I often think at my baby - oh you are soooooo lucky you are so damn cute.


You need to write a book. Do you have a book deal yet? Misery loves company, and I love your posts every-ding-dong day. I usually think my kid is the only one who acts like this because whenever I'm out and about, every other kid is acting like an angel. All the while, my kid is screaching at the top of her lungs and running the complete opposite direction of me. Plus, it was 104 yesterday. 104. What, I ask you, do you do with a kid when it's 104 outside and the pool doesn't open until 4pm? Oh yeah, now I know. DRINK lots of fluids. The alcholic kind. Thank you Amalah.

Angela Pagniello

I thought I was the only one who experienced this while I was home with my kids. This is why my husband tells me I have to work, and I have to send the kids to daycare... evil mother that I am LOL!


Yup, I go nutso by about 5pm, too.

And sometimes, I go nuts by, say, 8:45am, when I have a 2½-year-old bouncing bouncing bouncing on the exercize ball I use as a computer chair and my 1-year-old tearing things off of my desk and scattering them about the room and climbing on top of the printer and my 5½-year-old is...well, just being annoying because SOMEone let her stay up an hour past her bedtime so she got up at 6 this morning. And ALL I WANT TO DO IS READ A FEW BLOGS. *twitch twitch* *erk*

I don't know what I'd do if my hubs were to be in a business-trip-prone job. Probably live with my mom for a while. Or temporarily adopt my children out.

Miss Britt

Oooh - when you KNOW you're not getting relief during arsenic hour it makes the whole day suck. You just wake up going "this is going to be long and awful".


When Nolan starts to get like that (like this morning when he didn't want his bottle or cheerios or yobaby or water - he just wanted to whine), I tell him I'm going to sell him on ebay.


If you are still getting dressed you're doing fine. It's when you live in the same pair of pajamas (and maybe underthings) for more than 3 days at a time that there should be an intervention. I had mine after I'd been exclusively** a SAHM for 18 months.

**no outside freelance work or school or adult contact which I had for the first 3 years


Bathing of children is overrated.


Um YES. And YES.

I'm sorry I'm not in the neighborhood-- I would have brought Jojo over so they could whine together while we discuss the state of affairs in Hollywood. Sometimes just having them around another kid cuts the whine/gives me a break.

And listen to THIS: my husband travels for work, too. Last night, we had a friend over for dinner who works with my husband, and I heard MY husband mention how he's likely heading to CHINA for work in the coming months. Um, hello? What was that? China, New York? ChinaTOWN in NYC? Oh no he didn't.

Serenity now.


Back in the day, so many years ago, I took care of my three nephews & my son, ages (newborn, 2, 4 & 6) while my sister worked all day.

After the youngest was out of diapers at age two, I took on a night job (working from 11pm - 7 am) in addition to watching the young ones during the day.

I know your frustration and I hope you never know mine.

Even with all the frustration, you get to experience all the joy as well and I know that Noah brings you a great deal of joy.

Hang in there.......It's worth it


Here is how it could be slightly worse - if your husband weren't going out of town for a legitimate business trip, but for a GD FANTASY FOOTBALL DRAFT WEEKEND OF CAMPING AND PLAYING POKER AND DRINKING WITH HIS COLLEGE BUDS. From now until Sunday! Oh yes! (And also leaving the morning after your formerly perfect little sleeper woke up 8 TIMES! EIGHT!) Hang in there and I will toast you when I make my mojito tonight.

Katie (The Yap)

My husband is gone for days out of each week and while I hate the hours of 3-6 p.m. EVERY DAY. I seem to hold it together okay. Until the minute he walks in the door and I am suddenly PISSY. It is like all the "suicide hours" that I held it together come crashing down as soon as I see him. And I am suddenly ANGRY and overwhelmed. Being a full time parent is HARD HARD HARD!


Girl could that boy possibly get any freakin cuter? And the toes. He spreads his toes just like me and my girls do. My girls' father says we're freaks and calls us "tree climbers" but I swear I think it's the cutest thing to see a kid spread their toes like that. Makes them all the more edible. Might go nibble my baby's toes now. Mmmm....


I would ask "are you sure you want more?" but I know the answer to that question makes no sense on days like that. Except for the delicious baby feet. Who wouldn't want 10 sets of those in their house?


The business trips KILL me. Especially when I start to really think about it. I run around with a sick whiny toddler all day and hubby gets to go away, eat out and sleep in a dark htel room with no baby to wake him in the morning. Sounds like bliss to me but he will come home and complain he is exhausted.

Enjoy the wine!


When my daughter was little I'd watch the clock waiting for MY bedtime because the arrival of her father home from work simply meant that I had 2 children to care for instead of one, heh. Seriously.

Those are some mighty edible feets indeed!


Wow, you make it to 6 PM??
I have four kids, I barely make it through breakfast.
Chill the wine, babe!


Tantrums are just....UGH....I can't even think of the right word for it, but I sure as heck can't handle them. Dawson loves to scream and wine for no reason (Okay, so maybe I did turn of Bob the Builder after the 80th episode) and I never know if I'm going to one day jump out the window or poke my own eyes out.


I just recently chose to become a single mother of a now 14 month old little girl from Vietnam. I knew it would be hard, I knew I'd be tired, but I didn't know about the Hell hours of 5-7pm. It's nonstop whining until bathtime. Luckily (?), maternity leave is over and I'm back at work-and is it horrible to say that I'm glad? I applaud you SAHMs. I don't know how you do it. The hours between 5-7 are still rough-but doable now.


We call the 5:00 - 7:00pm stretch the gangrene hours...


OMG-I SO, totally feel ya on this one. This describes my life, EVERY DAY! I love, lovvveee my babies...but LORD help me come 5:00 if my husband hasn't walked through the door. Because I LOVE cooking dinner to the sweet sound of a screaming 6 month old and a 20 month old climbing up the hot stove and crying in the floor of the kitchen as I am carrying a pot full of hot pasta and HOT water to drain in the sink.

My husband works until 10pm as few nights a week. I don't cook those nights, so I avoid the aforementioned hysteria. But alas the little darlings are in bed by 7. On a good night. Which is good, because then I can fold the damn laundry that I was unable to get to all day long. Yay. Housewife = fun. (There is really no other place I'd rather be, I just like to whine)


Oh, girl, I hear ya. Hubby has a hellacious commute (Germantown to SE or to Chantilly, VA) and we aren't morning people so he isn't often able to do the "get up at 4 and be at work at 5" thing to avoid traffic. I envy you your wine, I really do (blasted nursing baby - I really do love him). Maybe we should get together sometime - sometimes it is easier to share the suicide hours, I've found.

Fraulein N

Oh lordy. I don't even have kids and just the THOUGHT of that EH EH EH noise sends chills down my spine.

Michele R

Starting when my older son was a baby, the time between 4:00 and whenever dad got home became known as "the witching hour." And even though I know that this is when everyone in the family starts to melt down, I can't always (never?) seem to hold it together. Funny how almost anything I eat for dinner creates in me the need to spend endless amounts of time in the bathroom - with a book and blissfully alone.

common sense

i could solve your problem of him getting into the drawers if it drives you that mad. buy those little plastic thingies that keep children from opening drawers.


I'm in the same sucktastic boat. Hell, my husband's even in Chicago right now -- is there some porn convention we haven't heard about?


Pinot Grigio + freezer = ahhh, much quicker.

After the Pinot Grigio is chillin' then there's time to rescue the Kitchen Aid parts. (You know how on the plane they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first, THEN the kid's, yeah, it's something like that.)

Also, can I borrow him to organize my measuring cups and spoons? 'cause mine are always all mixed up.

Wine, cheese, crackers, and baby piggies. YUMMMY!


Oh, and my 20-mo-old daughter loves the videos of your son. Keep 'em coming! They tame the witching hours (if only for five minutes)!


so true.

somedays this blog is the only thing that keeps me going until mommy finishes with work.


On the bright side...your new floors look awesome! :)


7pm, the time when the hate the children button gets flipped in my head. No matter how sweet and darling and loveable they may be at 6.55pm, at 7 they are loathesome creatures and should be seen ( or not ) and not heard, at all shut up.
TO cheer you though, and on a completely different note, I saw an old friend today who I haven't seen for 8 years,ahhh bless she had a sweet toddler with her and was quite obviously pregnant with another baby, due anyday,overdue even, huge and blossoming, I shrieked and then I PATTED HER BELLY and told her how EXCITING this was. She looked straight at me and said " Ha! Nothing in there, it's just fat" OMG. Can you show me what to do with alcohol because I might need an excuse for the way I keep behaving. "so sorry I am drunk, have no idea why my stupid mouth just said that"


MONKEY TOES! (I think cabernet is what you're supposed to drink with slightly dirty monkey toes.)


Well, this probably only makes sense to me but I used to trick my mind into dealing with my husband's prolonged absence by telling it, "If he were not at a fire right now, he'd still wouldn't be home until 6:15. So, if I put the kids to bed at 8:00, then I really only have 2 hours of parenting by myself." It actually really helped me, except on the weekends. There was no mind tricking through the weekend. But there was wine...

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