In the Meantime We Got it Hard
Ikea Jones and the Big Boy Bed of Doom

Closer to Fine...

...but honestly, things have been better.

But. Whatever. It's been one of those long shitty weeks that just never really got any better and I am sick and tired of listening to my own damn whining. So I will spare you more of my own damn whining, especially since your comments and emails have really been the only bright happy shiny part of this week. Thank you, all of you, the lurkers who have come forward and the regular commenters who always have a similar story to tell -- seriously, there are dozens of lovely little autobiographies being written here, piece by piece and day by day, so this blog has become so much more than my own story and that really impresses me.

(Although perhaps you can add "easily impressed" to the pile of Things That Describe Amy, right on top of "whiny," "melodramatic" and "princess of the pity party.")

(Oh look! My Us Weekly came! Just like it does every Friday! I'm so impressed! I need to lie down! With my Us Weekly!)

Actually, I think maybe there was more than one bright happy shiny part of this week.



There was.


Vaguely Urban

Amen to counting your blessings.

US Weekly is totally a blessing.


Aw, he looks all flushed and feverish - and innocent and beautiful. All those sorts of adjectives.


Being a mom who wants to do right by her son is not melodramatic, but you might still enjoy one of today's LOLcats:



They're so angelic when they're sleeping. I hope he has a nice long nap so you read Us Weekly nice and thoroughly.


DOWNTIME!!! You both earned it this week. Hope that the weekend is peaceful.


That is one for the scrapbook.* Love it!

*The scrapbook that you don't actually own.

I'm glad you are feeling a little better, I hope it continues.

I get down sometimes, too. And I hate it when I can't snap out of it, it feels like I'm living in the bottom of a pit. And then I get so I can't stand listening to the sound of my own whining, so why the hell would anyone else want to listen to it? So I isolate myself. Which makes me feel worse because I'm alone and unloved.

And then one day, I wake up and I realize that "Hey, maybe life doesn't suck so bad." And I put on some Ice, Ice Baby and all is right with the world. Until next time.


That is one big ass cat.


I wait for US Weekly and then ignore all the chaos as I lie on the floor of the living room reading in bliss. Sure I get stepped on but it's worth it for the peace and joy of knowing gossip.

Michele Rowe

For me, it's Entertainment Weekly.

The picture is beautiful. I love watching my kids sleep. It's then that I can totally pour my heart out to them, without them getting all, "Aww, come on mom - you're getting all smushy!"

These moments make it all worthwhile.


Sometimes I think that the universe gives us more than we think that we can handle all at once to just get all of the crap out of the way and done with. Stuff builds up, you feel overwhelmed and then, all of a sudden, things are good and you're happy and everything is going your way.

I hope that you make it to the "things are good" side soon.


Sarah Marie

Awww, Max can't stand the cuteness. I can't stand it either!


Draw a bath and read your mag, even better!


I don't get it.

My 45 year old shriveled up pruney peri-menopausal ovary just blew out 26 eggs looking at that picture of Noah and his bud.

Are you just totally immune to the cuteness or what?

How can you look at that and not just be fertile fertile fertile?

**throwing handfuls of baby fertilizer at Amalah**



I love the pictures of kids sleeping with cats! Too cute. Counting your blessings is the right road to lead you away from the blues.


Oh my gosh, how sweet! And when did his hair go from blonde to dirty blonde? He is looking like such a big boy. I love how his arms are flopped all the way out on either side.


I love when they sleep with their arms straight out to the sides. My arms fall asleep when I do that.


He looks so sweet and well, just beautiful like that, doesn't he???!! And I love the fact that the cat has chosen to sleep there with him.....I wish that I had thought to get at least one picture of my son at that age, in his sleep......


Love that he and Max are snuggling, sweetness!!


Kitties always know when loves are needed. Poor munchkin and his rosy cheeks! Hang in there. Us Weekly is a sign of better things to come!


Ur behbeh.... I snugglez wit him.

Suzy Q

Max lives! Haven't seen him in awhile.


Awww, Max shares the baby with you! ;^)


Your boy is so adorable.

I love to watch my little boy sleep too.

Definitely a blessing...


max! where have you been?


Hey girlfriend!
I read your post about OT - I can totally relate. I have a 5 year old with Autism who has major texture issues with food. I have been through the weeping at the site of cut fruit, the head butting, trying to get him to kiss a piece of ham. It is rough. And the other mommies looking at you like what sort of freaking horrible mother are you?!
But here's the thing - all mommies have rough days with their kids. Typical kids, a-typical kids - they all have bad days and things that are tough to master. So try to keep it in perspective when you have those days. Maybe other kids don't get upset by being asking to handle cut fruit, but they have issues with other stuff.
You are NOT a bad mommy - you are a great mommy. And the crappy days are all part and parcel of the wild ride of motherhood. Our ride is just a little wilder when you add Autism to the mix. That's all - just a little wilder.
Hang in there, lady! It gets better as they get used to all these interventions. And on the up side - you will meet some really lovely people in the process. Working with Special Needs kids is really a calling more than a career. And you will feel really blessed to know some of the folks you will meet along the way.


You know what? I think there is something in the air or the water because it seems like a lot of us are all up in the crappy week.

Thank God for wine, US Weekly and your adorable little guy!

Hang in there!


Sweet Jebus the cat is going to eat Noah!


That? That is the face of an angel. Here's to a better week ahead.


Okay, I was forced into lurkingness for a long time because the only time I have to catch up on my blog-reading is when I'm at work. Then the Network Nazis did something to our work network that I cannot comment on anyone who has a typepad site--log onto the machine and can comment on typepad sites, connect to my work VPN and cannot. Weird, I know. But by the time I have time to myself once I get home, I'm crawling into bed and never get a chance to send love and hugs and generally stalk my favorite typepad blog sites. But tonight the husband has the kids occupied and I am now catching up with all my typepad commenting.
So to help you out of your Pit of Despair, here's lots of fertile hugs for you and Jason. And lots of special little boy hugs for your sweet sensitive guy (I have two boys, so I'm an expert at giving out little boy hugs). And lots of of Virginia wine (hey, that's how *I* got pregnant...both times). And some Artist-Formerly-Known-As-Prince-that-is-Now-Known-As-Prince-Again...his funky beats have gotten me up and dancing again (and I think may have also contributed to the pregnant thing, too).
and maybe the first pic on this post might make you smile a tiny bit?


That is one seriously cute kid.


Its pictures or times like these remind me that I am so thankful to be a Mommy. He's adorable and just for the record, with all of these adorable pictures I have a hard time believing he throws fits like you described...he just looks so anjelic on the web.


I wouldn't sweat the OT class. I don't know a mom who has not been in your shoes at least one time or another - at OT; in the grocery store; in the mall; at gymnastics; in front of the school.

Before I had kids I wouldn't have noticed. Now I just feel badly for the mom and the kid. No judging. I can't imagine any of those other moms judging you - probably just glad it wasn't their kid that day.

Cute picture - I have one of my son curled up with our cat fast asleep. Can't show it in public though since he was stark naked. His favorite way to dress until he was about 5...


i thought my brother was the only one who slept like that! Noah looks adorable as usual :)


Your Us Weekly comes on time?? Mine never does. Bah. Noah looks beautiful!


That picture is just perfection! Talk about shiny and happy! Bet you need to add content to that phrase.

I recently read a Dean Koontz book (stay with me here) where he had a line that basically said, "I felt a contentment so acute that it felt like a hot blade through my heart." Sometimes when I'm with my niece and brother and feeling such pure joy, that description just fits. Enjoy those moments, honey.

And don't worry about the pity pot and whining - it's okay. We all do it. And the fact that you share your experiences with us makes us feel more okay as humans, and what we share with you makes you realize that you are not a freak. Just human.


*contentment - not content. sorry. duh.


King of the bed! I love it.


holy crap.
that is an adorable picture.
noah lying there sprawled is awesome and max is just the icing on the cake.
toddlers are so friggin' cute when they sleep. makes me want to eat them. nom nom nom.


I love that Max is guarding Noah.

I hope next week is better for you.

I think you deserve wine and/or cookies with your Us Weekly.


Look at those beautiful rosy cheeks! Noah is so beautiful.

The bringing of magazines in the mail always seems like a Christmas miracle to me, but then I'm a magazine whore.


Ahh he looks like a boy who fell asleep exhausted after having a LOT of fun. Awesome pic.


I hope your weeks get better. I am certainly there with you, I have a largely silent 2.5 year old and I really do know that he's fine. What bothers me, and I feel sometimes that I am selfish, is that it's so lonely and boring! I see other kids chattering away to their mothers and I think I would love to have some of that ridiculous conversation! So here's to hoping we both have some soon.


Amalah, there is something I've been wanting to tell you for a while but it never seemed to fit in with the post of that day. I should have just told you anyway, but I am now, so stop yelling at me! At any rate, you write a lot about how lucky and blessed you and Jason are to have Noah in your lives, and you are right. But you should also know that Noah is equally lucky and blessed to have you two as parents. You are exactly the parents he needs, and you are doing a fantastic job.


awwww. Your two first babies.


i take pleasure in the little things only iif i could convince the husband to let me get us weekly! delivered to my door!


Our cats do the same thing when one of us is not feeling well. I think sometimes my daughter enjoys getting sick just so the cat will come sleep with her.


I didn't get to comment on the last post, but I wanted to say how much I feel you. Everyone else is right - it does get better. There will be new situations to break your heart or make you break a sweat. And there will be many, many moments of joy and "holy crap, look how far we've come!" Noah is blessed. You are a wonderful mom.


yay! Noah AND Max in ONE photo. Life is good.


AWWW!!! Hubby sleeps like that, only I end up getting slapped upside the head.

Such a sweet scene.


Love those little rosy cheeks. So sweet.


You know that stupid "real women have curves" slogan? I think you need a T-shirt of your very own: "Real mommies have real kids who have real issues that are really not the real mommy's fault and, in the real scheme of things, not really a big deal."

Catchy? No. True? Yes. Fuck the hatas (hata's? hatahs?), Amy. Your kid is awesome, and you are awesome for and with him. You and he are both going to get through all of this just fine. (Just awesome, even. Really awesome. Okay, enough repetition.)

the bee

My 15 yr old nephew threw a huge tantrum fit at trader joe's this week. He is autistic but people turned and stared and made nasty comments. It is the worst. I almost cried right then and there.I edged us both to the car door and tossed him in it.
When we got home I felt so bad.
I know he cannot handle crowds or noise and yet I brought him there. You are my inspiration for being more patient. I was proud that I was able to listen and handle it better because of you . I hope you have a much better week. You inspire more than you know. The bee


sweet baby jesus on a cracker, your child is adorable. i mean, he's sweet baby jesus on a cracker WITH brie en croute. with maybe some honey and almonds.


SO adorable, that boy of yours! In that photo he looks just like you in your profile photo :)

I hope you did get a chance to lie down with your US Weekly-did you know Drew Barrymore is dating Justin Long, the "Mac" guy from those PC vs. Mac commercials? 'Tis true!

Katie Kat

Le sigh...


I want to give you a big hug! What a mess of a week you've had. If it makes you feel better, we moved Friday - Sunday, so I missed the meltdown at OT post until today and I wanted to cry for you. If it makes you feel better, here in Arizona, we've got a bunch of cardboard boxes to unpack and could use some help! :)


Sounds like you've both earned a nap. And I can so relate to Noah's sensory issues having a sensory integration kid myself. Take heart, they start to grow out of their own reactions. The stimuli still bothers them but they learn to cope with it, all by themselves, really, I swear!

Oh My Garden

I'm sorry you had a bad week. Thank you so much for writing about it, though. It helps me to read it.
Noah is so squishy and adorable!

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