The Neenee of the Heart
I am not your 28-pound monkey.

It's Another Blue's Clues Day. On the Couch. Winning Mother of the Year.

Whenever I happen across a blog entry about someone's kid having the stomach flu, I always cluck sympathetically, and then CLICK CLICK CLICK AWAY EW PLEASE DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR KID'S VOMIT.

Commence clucking, y'all. And the little X up in the corner over there will show you the way out.

Noah woke up wailing around 3 am last night. "A MESSTH! A MESSSSSSTH!" he sobbed, pointing despair at his bed. He cared much less about the messth he made in our bed an hour later, and an hour after that he was over messthes completely and viewed our proffered plastic trash can as just getting in the way of his good time, man.

This continued all night and morning and well past the time when it finally occurred to Jason that he had a JOB he could go to instead, fuck this noise.

(Tangent! Did you know that the Noggin network airs 24 hours now? [Much to the despair of dozens of tweens who depended on the 6 pm switchover to Degrassi reruns, I'm sure.] But did you know that this is a LIE and an ILLUSION and if you actually do decide that all you need in the world is a damn episode of Blue's Clues or Dora or holy hell, I'd even accept Little Bear at 4 in the morning, you will instead be confronted with bizarre Barney-like imports from the mid-90s that involve a lot of neon and a bunch of very, very tall children playing leapfrog and singing to the camera with eyes that clearly say, "I AM GETTING NO RESIDUALS FOR THIS, THANKS MOM.")

(We switched to Cartoon Network and watched old Hanna-Barbera cartoons that were chock full of ethnic stereotypes and cavalier attitudes towards cigarette smoking instead.)

So while all plans for today were obviously hosed, we've managed to stay entertained, mostly through the power of Photo Booth, which Noah absolutely loves now that he's made the connection that WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY to record his every move and mug and deep thoughts on aballs.

(One day we're going to have to have a talk about where blogs come from, but I am not ready for that, frankly.)

Anyway, since I have sheets to wash and odors with...I'd like to present Noah's First Podcast. Today he'd like to talk about Dogs, Dessert, the Firefox Whee! Video and also Some Random Point On the Ceiling He'd Like Us All To Look At.

The Noah Report from amalah on Vimeo.


bon mariage

Feel better Noah!


no, no dessert.

Why the hell not?

Someone Being Me

I love it. He looks adorable for someone who is spewing up his juice. The stomach bug is going around here in Texas too. I've been hiding in my office rubbing on hand santizer for days. It smells like a distillery in here. Anyways if you would like some cheering up or something from Sephora to wash the puke out of your hair or cover up the under eye circles I am having a drawing for a $25.00 gift card at my blog. You can put Noah to work on signing you up for all the other giveaways Rocks in My Dryer is hosting. He needs to start earning his keep after all. Those pj's don't wash themselves you know.

organic muslimah

He is so cute. I hope he feels better!


Aw, poor little guy with the dark circles! Get well soon, Noah! Loved the podcast!

jive turkey

Aigh - poor kid. I remember how getting sick in bed in the middle of the night was THE SCARIEST thing in the world. Especially that time I puked on my E.T. doll. THE HORROR!


For the record? You are an AWESOME mom. I would have LOVED to have a mom as cool or attentive as you. I was lucky I wasn't shoved into a closet. YOU ROCK!


I view all messthes with a great degree of dispair. And they aren't even in my bed anymore. Then I pass the sick ones off to their dad and I try to avoid lest I have my own messthes to deal with. (Okay, that's not totally true, but with the last cycle it was true because he has sick leave and I don't. And he got sick and I didn't.)


Noah I am constantly asking, "Dessert?" and then sadly following it with, "No Dessert." Feel better little guy


Cute. My dog is still barking thanks to Ceiba's bark right at the beginning of that video :)


The internet is pullin' for his speedy recovery. I'ma pull for it over here, a safe distance away. Because we had the stomach flu right before last Christmas. And ummm... no thank you. I've had enough rinse and repeat.


Feel better Noah!

Even with the stomach flu that kid is adorable.


Cuteness overload as usual. When my kitten heard Ceiba bark, she freaked out and ran under the bed and I can't get her to come back out. Could be because a friend recently brought over her own min pin which terrorized our cats all day and night. Min pins don't know the strength of their own crazy long legs.


Feel better soon Noah! How can the kid be so sick and so freakishly sick at the same time? Adorable.


I thought the writers were still on strike? Who scabbed and wrote his brilliant dialogue??!

Gotta love ANYONE who spends the night barfing and then can even THINK about dessert. And look so adorable while doing so.

Great post. What a star.

Lisa Ann

(We switched to Cartoon Network and watched old Hanna-Barbera cartoons that were chock full of ethnic stereotypes and cavalier attitudes towards cigarette smoking instead.)

I think that is the funniest sentence ever written on internet!

Feel better Noah.


Whoa! Little dude is totally rocking those jammies!!!

Hope his tunny gets better quickly. Because, ew.

Miss Britt

Thank you God that you did not use your normally keen powers of description to get more into the Messhh.


Man, he is adorable. And he looks so much like you!

Le Petit Chic

Thanks for the report, Noah! Feel better soon :)


Sounds like you found Gullah Gullah Island.... strange show... my kids LOVE the pink panther cartoons

Jessica (aka Rose)

The first time my daughter puked she was mortified by the mess. She took a wipe from my hand and tried to clean up her pjs. Poor kid. Then she got over it and puked into my bra.


Oh! The preciousness! Hope he feels better soon.



Sorry about that. I'm better now. I totally feel you on the puking thing... sucks! But isn't it great when they're so snuggly because they don't feel good?


I'm waiting for a good batch of LOLnoahs. I hope he feels better soon!
House of Jules


An aside: Noggin spun out "The N" into its own cable station at the new year where millions of reruns of saved by the bell and other fun shows air non-stop(and I'm sure you wanted to know since some of the grown-ups are a wee bit Degrassi obsessed as well...)


I was like the luckiest Mom on the planet - 2 kids and only one "miss the toilet" puke ever. Then came grandchildren - my spare bedroom will never be the same. Love his first podcast!


adorable. A.DOR.ABLE.


He is so cute! Hopefully he feels better soon!


He is so cute! Hopefully he feels better soon!


That is one cute kid!

Bummer about the stomach flu... still waiting for my turn to be woken in the middle of the night by a preschooler covered in goo. I know my day is coming.


oh, he is just precious! (although i doubt that is the first word that came to mind as you were drowning in his puke!)

Greg S


Some kid you've got there, amalah. You and he are both lucky to have each other.


I think I would take just about any illness over ones that involve throwing up (and hand foot and mouth disease...thank you very much Chuck E. Cheese). I hope Noah feels better soon, and that you are able to de-pukify your house successfully!


Sorry to hear about the barfies. A little tip I wish I had known about when my kids were small, and barfed simultaneously in my car...There is a product called Natures Miracle, avail. in pet stores, which cleans ANY organic stain/smell out of anything. Non toxic-you could drink the stuff practically, smells great, and nothing on the planet works better. And no, I am not a rep for them. Good luck!


Video is TOO cute! I was in the grocery store yesterday and saw a little boy who looked very like Noah. And I thought "omg, that's Noah!". Then I looked at his mother and thought "I don't know what Amy looks like", and then realised that not only do I not know Noah, or you, Amy, you do in fact live on completely the other side of the world and would not be in my grocery store at all, and that perhaps I should, in fact, stop living in blogland and perhaps get a life! ;-)


When Noah is older and doesn't require much from mama, even when he is sick, you will look back at these middle of the night times and miss them.

Believe it or not.

He is precious. I miss footy pajamas :-(


He is even cuter in moving pictures than he is in still ones...and I didn't think that was possible.



Whew! Just finished the archives...Which is great, because another week and I might have been Love this blog!! Love!
Aww poor Noah and poor Amy for having to clean up all of that puke. I have a 4month old, so the puke is still inoffensive....for now...*sigh* I hate puke.


Poor Noah! Poor you! I hope the messth and the tummy ache are over by now--and that he doesn't share his germs with mama.


Oh, my youngest's first vomiting episode (middle of the night, of course), just appalled her.

"WOOK at DIS!", was her indignant order to me as I entered her room.

I hope he's feeling better soon.


I love it when he decided it was time to lay down. He's so cute. I want a Noah of my own. I hope the vomit stops soon cause, ick.


Don't y'all have PBS kids? Nothing like Franny's Feet or Jaker's at 2am.

Feel better little Noah


Yuck, yuck and double yuck.

One tip - to avoid all the crazy sheet washing...Once you get the first pukies of the night, put a large bath towel on the pillow and also have them lay on a bath towel in the bed. Then if they puke again (you know they will), it's much easier to switch out towels when you're half asleep and in a panic than sheets after sheets after sheets.

Boomerang rocks, BTW. My kids love old Hanna Barbera.


Hi amalah,
In our town the local cable monoply offers a DVR (Tivo like) service. So for those late night illnesses with our 2 year old we have a small array of emergency favorites "permenantly" "tivo'ed". Four Miffy's, 4 caillous, and all the Word Worlds, (which by the way I highly reccommend). That load can get us through most fevers, vomitings etc. Hope little Noah feels better soon.


Noah is too cute! What fun it is for you to get to hang out with him everyday!


Barf. Such a disgusting word, isn't it?

Mrs. Schmitty

Poor Baby, I hope he feels better soon. We've got the bug over here too. My middle guy last week and now the oldest guy and me. Just praying hubby and daughter don't get it!


Feel better, little one.

Mrs. Flinger

OMG, Amy. He is, bygod, one of the cutest little men I've ever seen. Doggie! Dessert! NoooOOoooo. I wish I was this cute sick.


Oh poor Noah...and you! I despise cleaning up vomit at any hour of the day. Glad to see he's feeling a little better.

We also keep at least one episode of Dora, Diego & Backyardigans on our TiVo for those "just in case" moments when there are none on.

Wine Please

awww...poor guy! Hope he's feeling better!

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