One Dozen Long-Stemmed Years
First Look

Knocked Up and Over

So. I take it y'all read the news?

Yeah. When I wrote Monday's post, I was already pregnant. When I preemptively snapped at anyone who DARED to make the puking = pregnant connection last week, I was already pregnant. I just didn't KNOW that I was already pregnant. Really! I would have told you, Internet. Honest. You know there's no secrets between us, baby. Shh. Don't be like that.

I really did take a test last week -- the very last test stick in the house, which somehow managed to survive last month's two-week rampage of peesticking and disappointment. I tested after our fall that nearly caused my nine-months-pregnant friend to spontaneously deliver on our sidewalk out of sheer terror, and after a lunch out with her where every smell in the place caused my stomach to flip and flop and bleh. It was negative, and possibly gave me the finger, because it was one of those fancy digital ones. NOT PREGNANT, it said. ALSO FUCK YOU! I enjoy paying extra for the attitude.

Then I went and threw up. And then threw up again. Then I felt better. Then I threw up again on Friday morning. Heartburn kept me up all night. I ran out of Tums.

"Do you think...maybe I should take another test?" I asked Jason over the weekend. He rolled his eyes.

"Noooo, come on," he said.

See, here's the thing: that blasted fertility monitor told me I didn't even ovulate this month. And I believed it. I've been falling into an every-other-month pattern for awhile now -- blocked tube? bum ovary? Who knows. Call the DOCTOR, ALREADY. We've been trying in earnest since Noah's first birthday, but this month we -- oh my God, the concept -- only had sex when we felt like it. I mean, come on. No chance. I convince myself I'm pregnant every damn month, and even I've had enough of being such an asshole.

I wrote Monday's post and hit the publish button, then bundled Noah up and went out in search of heartburn medication, lest I die of it right there. I picked up some Zantac and turned around to face the family planning section. My boobs...well, they did feel a little sore that day. I grabbed a three-pack of CVS-brand tests and called myself an asshole again.

I continued to berate myself the entire drive home, reminding myself of all the other reasons for the symptoms I was experiencing. Remnants of the stomach flu. Old age. PMS. Late stage alcoholism, I don't know.

We got home and I put Noah to bed and entered the bathroom.

The second line showed up within seconds. I started laughing out loud at the test. I ran around my bedroom yelling HA! HA! HA! over and over. For an old married woman who has been having carefully timed and orchestrated sex for over two years now, I just went and got myself knocked up.

And suddenly...I was pregnant. And I knew it, and I knew it without those other two tests and without a beta and I snapped a picture of the test and emailed it to Jason, with "Hey! Guess what?" as the subject line.

He emailed back:

what am I looking at here? is that second band actually filled in? That means it's positive right? Holy crap!

And then again, a few minutes later:

on my way home.

The other two tests confirmed what my nausea, heartburn, bloated round belly and painful tenderized boobs had been trying to tell me.

October 14th is my best guess at a due date since I don't know when I ovulated exactly. The negative test last week (on cycle day 28) suggests a longer cycle, maybe, so...mid-October-ish, right after Noah turns three. I'm a few days shy of six weeks along right now. Ish.

Since I've been bumped out of the Infertile File at my doctor's office, my first prenatal appointment isn't until MARCH, when I will be around nine or 10 weeks along. This would have wigged me the fuck out last time, but I'm strangely calm about it.

The nausea and heartburn have been incredibly manageable (to almost nonexistent) since Monday, when I (obviously) cut out coffee and red wine. Those turned out to be the biggest culprits. (Biology! It's like it knows shit, and stuff.) My boobs are killing me. Goddamn killing me for real and serious. Spicy food is not my friend. Indian food (which sustained both me and Noah for nine solid months) hurts me. Deep. Salt makes my stomach pooch out to five-months-along territory, although I will suffer the bloat in the Pursuit of Pickles. I want chocolate all the damn time and OH YEAH, maybe that's why I decided to randomly make an entire tray of brownies last weekend, taste them, declare them terrible and then proceed to eat every last one.

We obviously aren't talking to Noah about anything yet, other than asking him what he'd think of a baby brother or sister. You know, just as a general concept. He nodded enthusiastically, but later conversations suggest that he actually think he's getting a Wonderpet.

And then there are days where I think this is all a mistake. The tests were faulty and it's all in my head. Or the lack of nausea some days is an ominous sign (even though I didn't get sick until much farther along with Noah). I started having some light cramping yesterday afternoon and evening, but I'm fairly sure it was normal uterine-expanding/embryo-settling-in-and-trashing-the-joint cramping, exacerbated by some dehydration and possibly my c-section scar. Taking care of myself and the pregnancy is...uh...challenging, to say the least, since Noah does not care that macaroni and cheese is now the devil's handiwork and Mama needs to drink eight glasses of water a day and pee 127,834,209 fricking fucking times a day.

Aaaaaand...that's where we are. Sorry for the all-over-the-place kitchen-sinkness of this entry. I've had almost a week to collect my thoughts and my thoughts are still running very ZOMG PREGNATE SJDLIP HHJWEY GIMME OLIVES THX.

Oh, and one last thing, which I hope will be pretty cool -- ages and ages ago Isabel and I were talking about pregnancy and pregnancy blogging and I mentioned that second pregnancies tend to get the short end of the stick, journaling-wise, and how I hoped I'd be able to keep as detailed a record of my hypothetical second pregnancy as I did with my first. Her solution was to slap me with some deadlines and pay me to write one of those week-by-week pregnancy guides for the AlphaMom website. (Ha ha, little embryo! Mama done SOLD YOU OUT.)

We're scrambling to get everything set up right now since I finally was able to give it the official go sign on Tuesday, but just in case you find I don't yak on nearly enough about pregnancy over here (or if you are someone who commented yesterday with a remarkably similar due date), I'll be publishing weekly installments of everything pregnancy over there. But instead of reading about how oh, this week your baby is just the most preshusest little chickpea ever and now let's talk about toxoplasmosis and ectopic pregnancy and scare the ever-loving shit out of you, it will be...well, probably a lot less informative and possibly compare your embryo to a Viagra tablet.

Holy mother of God, people. I just might get myself another little baby out of this.





I love it!!! So frickin' excited for you.


I'm so happy for you that it's not the "late stages of alcoholism" and is instead a baby! WOOO HOOO! Also, applause for having sex whenever you want and getting knocked up!
House of Jules


And we all can't wait.


ooh, I got to the head of the line on this one.

I am so very happy for you. I got goose bumps too when I read the last part of yesterday's post.

I also got violently sick this week, the first time in over 10 years, and i thought of you, and hoped I would lose 10# from the effort too.

No Such Luck..

Anyhow, congrats again from one of your fans! I look forward to reading about the journey!


I don't recall as that you make, uh, 'little' babies! ;-)

I wondered, actually, when you posted the "THIS is a huge belly" pic on mamapop, and shur'nuf!



So, so happy and excited for you!


Since I couldn't get a word in edgewise yesterday with all your millions of comments :) I just wanted to say congratulations! This is wonderful news! And Noah will make an excellent and adorable big brother, no doubt!


I promise to start knitting. :-) Congrats again.


"Pursuit of Pickles." Tee-hee. I'm really looking forward to more Preggers Amalah's writing. I think she's my second favorite writer, right after Maybe I Had a Teensy Bit Too Much to Drink *hiccup* Amalah.


Yay! Before I had three, I used to cut NO SLACK to 2nd-time-pregnant moms. I was an idiot. No plans for any more here, but I'll definitely be following along at AlphaMom.


I am thrilled for y'all. So exciting! Yesterday I wanted to comment at around 372---and I thought there is no way Amy will read 372 congratulatory comments - then I looked agin like 15 minutes later and it was over 800!!!! Doesn't that feel great?!


This is super news! I'm very happy for you and Jason!


holy mother, I cannot believe you have over 1,000 comments on your last entry. but squee! commenting again! to be happy! for you! and Jason! and Noah who thinks he is getting a wonderpet!

also laughing that it was a CVS brand pee stick that finally did you in. chalk one up for the ex-People's Drug, eh?


WooHoo! My little guy was born on October 14, 2007. He was actually due on October 21, but he obeyed my commands and came early. It's a good day. I am so beyond thrilled for you.


i`m SO happy for you!
i seriously dont know what else to say, so huzzah!


So so happy for you. And a little jealous. But mostly happy.


De-lurking to tell you Congrats! I didn't see yesterday's post till today. Very exciting - the second one is just as fun as the first, I promise!


Congratulations, I'm so excited for you and your family.


a new baby to squee over AND a new blog for us to read?

we are so lucky!


Of COURSE you got pg when you weren't trying. Isn't that what EVERYONE has been trying to tell you? RELAX and it will just HAPPEN? Geesh!

So very happy for you!

Petunia Face

I am so happy for you! And I cannot wait to read along the journey. Congratulations to you and Noah (and your husband, too).


Well first of all congrats! Most of us IF's dont think that a natural pregnancy is in our grasp, yet it happend more times than we can count!

My aunt had ivf a few years ago, and become pregnant with her son. The pregnancy was VERY hard, she was pretty much on bedrest from day 1. Her tubes were blocked and the doctors said there was NO WAY she could get pg naturally. Fast foward 3 months after her baby was born- she finds out that she was pregnant, again- naturally! she was in denial, since she thought that it wasnt possible, but oh it was! Her kids are a year apart. please keep us posted!


just saying again how happy I am for you. what a fun time. go take a nap!


Still absolutely frickin THRILLED for you!!!!!

And have been wondering about the details and needed to know the details... I actually wondered out loud about the details to my husband at our valentines dinner.. and he wants to have me committed but now I know the details and still could NOT be happier for you, Noah, and Jason.


hooray! yesterday at work my friend & i (both bloggers) were like - did you hear? amalah's pregnant?? that's so exciting! and then we realized that we were excited over a stranger we'd never met and when someone asked us who was pregnant we mumbled something about blogging and walked away quietly.

:) but really. so excited for you!

Amy H

great follow-up to the last post, which was so beautiful. I loved it and all...but wanted to know the details. (not THOSE details, sheesh!)

I am just very happy for you, Jason, and Noah. he is going to be a great big brother and if you next kid is half as cute, you are in for some great fun!


One word of recommendation:

Pepcid AC makes Tums look like gummi worms.

'nuff said.

Congratulations again.

ccr in MA



I am so excited (for you and for me getting to read all about it) and this post made me cry, too.


just fantastic.

Lisa M

It's funny how life makes a sudden right turn with one drop of pee on a little stick! Congrats again, and yay for the writing gig!!


the month we conceived our # child (post secondary infertility workups) my doctor and i concluded that i had not ovulated so it wouldn't be that month. it took a while to convince me to take a test because i KNEW there was no way....way! she will be 16 next week.
i am so very excited for you.


I am so excited for you and can't wait to read how fun you can make pregnancy sound!


oops! that would be #2 child.....silly, sticky keyboard.


Congratulations!! :D


Yay again and Congratulations again and just yay, yay, holy freakin' YAY!!


I can't wait to hear every detail here or on alphamom. congratulations again!


thank GOD you're going to be writing plenty about this. none of my bloggers have been pregnant forever and i just want to live through you, okay? i want to KNOW.



Yay! Babies!

Is it weird that I'm jealous of the people who get to be pregnant with you? But not jealous enough to go get myself knocked up. Because I'd have some 'spainin' to do there, since hubby's had the big V and all...


You know, I commented and congratulated you and Jason and Noah yesterday...but 1084?! Holy comments, Batman!


Screamed and scared the dogs yesterday, then sobbed. Been down your road and I couldn't be happier to hear of your copious vomiting. The second pregnancy goes by a lot faster due to the, HELLO! FIRST-BORN STILL NEEDS GOLDFISH AND ABALLS AND ALL THE ATTENTION! Glad to hear we can read the moment-by-moment. We never get sick of pregnancy. Crazy broads.


Now you'll need a scrapbook. Two, actually. I learned that when my mom came down a few weeks ago to visit newborn number 2. She had started his scrapbook and left it for me. Now I have to go start number 1. Dammit. Also, pregnancy number 2 was way suckier, but the recovery time way better. And i find that i'm far more relaxed this time around. If the babe wears his daytime clothes to sleep in, um, oh well.


I am just so excited for you! You are in my prayers, and also? I had cramping with both of my babies very early on.

Someone Being Me

I am so excited for you. I can't wait to read the new pregnancy column even though I am months away from trying for baby #2. I will live vicariously throught you. Then I when I do get pregnant with #2 I will go back and reread those columns again.


I think I wrote this back when you were first talking about the clear blue easy fertility monitor, but I also managed to get knocked up on the first cycle that did not in fact show ovulation. Gaahh SCIENCE! Make more sense!

And congratulations again :)


Congratulations! I'm so happy for you! :)

kim at allconsuming

I don't think I took one breath reading that whole post.

I love it when you're excited.

A three year age gap I know because I've got a two year 3 month gap, 5 year 5 month gap and 20 month gap. So you know I know. I don't make this shit up.

Every friend I have who has children with a three year age gap is the most normal and together of all of us. And that there is quite a body of research.

Am just so excited for you. SO.EXCITED.


Congrats Amy and Jason! I found out on Thanksgiving day that I'm pregnant (#1) so I'll be popping the Tums right along with ya. Here's to growing bellies and expanding families!


Wonderful wonderful news and heartiest of congratulations to you and your family!

We, too, will be having our second just after my boy turns three. Hope you don't take this as ass-vice, but I just read the most amazing article on how to help Boy #1 prepare for the new babe. Rule #1: don't ask him if he would like a new baby, as it implies that he has a choice in the matter and can send the kid back to where he came from when it's not all roses. Instead, begin gently by talking in general about babies, what they do, how they act, animal babies, human babies, proceed to babies in mothers' tummies. Look at books, etc. When that's been simmering, tell him you've got a baby in your tummy. Talk about what he will get to do when baby comes out, how the baby will act, what his jobs, as a big brother, will be, how the baby will need his help, etc. etc. Oh! And another great tip! When baby is actually here, try to avoid language like "Baby needs his diaper changed" or "Baby needs to eat" and instead be all, "Mama needs to change the baby's diaper" and "Mama needs to feed the baby" so as to displace any negative feelings #1 may have from the baby.

Sorry if that rambled. I felt it was really helpful for us! Congrats again!


That's how my 3 yo came to be - non-planned, seemingly impossible by my calculations, because we felt like it, sex. Amazing, isn't it? Congrats!


Oh : )


I miss being pregnant.

(says she who is hissing at her 2 year old to go back to his room because it's naptime while she breasttfeeds her almost one year old and types with one hand.)

But do I ever miss the days of babies kicking me from the inside. I envy you.


I'm new to your blog, and landing at a great time! Congrats. I hope you have a great, healthy pregnancy.


I'm so happy for you and Jason, and Noah, and the not-yet-a-chickpea. I'm especially happy that you seem so NON-wigged out - that must be such a nice bonus, in addition to the whole, you know, BABY THING.

Greg S


Sorry I didn't see the actual announcement on time, but OMG am I just that new or is a 1000+ comments just ridiculous?

I'm sure someone's said it already, but funny how it's when you reach the point of disbelieving indications and expecting that it can't POSSIBLY happen now - that it happens? As if Mother Nature insists on it being a surprise, one way or another.

I also think it's interesting how differently your body seems to handle this second pregnancy. Things you craved before are now the last thing you want, e.g. Aren't you supposed to be better prepared the second time, know what to expect, etc. - and you start getting curveballs!

Anyhow, congrats and best wishes...


OMG I am sooo happy for you! Congratulations!


Aunt Bossy is slightly late for the party, but holds her congratulations in hand all the same.


A baby! :D :D :D :D :D
I'm kinda happy for you. Just a little ;-)


When I read the last post in Bloglines, I gasped out loud, clapped my hand over my mouth, and then felt tears filling up my eyes, no kidding. Amy sweetie, I am so, so happy for you and Jason, and for Noah, who will be getting a little brother or sister and wanting to name them Tuck or Ming-Ming and what's wrong with that? I'll be breathlessly awaiting updates here, on AlphaMom, wherever.


OMGZ! Congratulations. So happy and excited for you! Looking forward to seeing the week-by-week thing over at AlphaMom.


I'm looking forward to reading every update. :) Congratulations!


I pretty much never comment on here (but read religiously, mind you), but of course I did send you a congratulatory note yesterday. And looky here, you're forcing another comment out of me TWO DAYS IN A ROW. I'm just so damned happy for you. Really, really, really. I love hearing the details and look forward to reading everything you've got to say about baby #2. Whee!




Congratulations - I'm so very excited for you!


Hurray for fertilized embryos!!

Wacky Mommy

Oh, honey!! Yippee! (I'm doing a merry little dance that it's you, not me.)

Safiya Outlines

Congratulations!!! - This is three exclaimation mark worthy news!!!

I wish you and your lovely family all the best.


A huge congratulations how creepy is it that when I read your news yesterday, I wanted to call my mom to tell her, but then realized that she has no idea who you are? Yeah, that's how excited I am for you. Your due date happens to be a month after mine. Ish.

So, yeah, welcome to the trimester of confusion! This is my fourth (yes, you read that right...and I'm infertile! haha!) and stuff still confuses the crap out of me. And for weeks after I take the test, I think NAH, there's no way, I feel good today, it was wrong. I've finally semi-convinced myself that yes, I am pregnant and not just on a super-duper long cycle and getting fat. It's weird, this realization.


Oh, congratulations! BRILLIANT spacing, too. My secondborn was due exactly three years and one month after my firstborn. #3 came two months shy of three years later. BRILLIANT spacing, I'm telling you.
Uh...not that other spacing is wrong...not judging here...


OMG! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you and your expanding little family. YAY!


Hurray! This is so exciting. Congratulations, many times over.


I only read one blog. Yours. (Plus the front page of slashdot which doesn't really count.) Now you want me to go somewhere else to follow all the gory details??






Now you've got me totally wondering if I need to go buy a test. Unexplainable heartburn for the last 2 weeks? Check. Low level of nausea? Check (though that just might be the heartburn). Unprotected sex for several months? Check. No earthly clue when my body actually ovulates? Check.

The boobs aren't sore though. I think I'll wait for the boobs.


I'm so pleased for you and your husband. Congratulations.


I am so excited to read another round of Pregnant Amalah.

Also, why does hearing that you are knocked up make me wanna get pregnant so I can be pregnant with you?

I am amazingly stalkeriffic, aren't I? :)

Congrats, truly. This is awesome!


i'm a new reader. a friend sent me here today. I am probably 6+ weeks pregnant with my first child. I will definitely be here often! I really enjoyed this post.


Whee for another little adorable baby! Whee for un-orchestrated "when we darn well feel like it" sex (or rather, looove (and baby!) making).
And um, while I'm not pregnant and have no plans to be so anytime soon, you can bet I'll be reading all about your second pregnancy over at alphamom! For some reason, though I have no kids (and don't really want any of my own right now) I still LOVE other people's kids and reading about pregnancy and babies and toddlers and older kids and everything. So, YAY!!


Can't wait to read all about this pregnancy! This is SO exciting!


Don't even think about a VBAC- the 2nd will be bigger than the first (yipes I know)- data does not support VBAC's anymore (am an OB RN)Plus-you get to pick your delivery date! So happy for you- you are so loved by so many people-you have lots of love prayers and support coming your way.


Wanted to comment yesterday, but was deterred by the, oh, 500+ comments you already got. Anyway, I find it very strange that reading about someone I've never met, and probably will never meets pregnancy makes me almost cry with happiness, as if they were a family member. Blogs are funny. Super happy for you!


Congratulations Amy! I'm so excited for you. 2 ROCK.


yes, I am one with a remarkably similar due date like yours. I took a test yesterday, or great valentine's present to each other, and it was confirmed at the Dr. this morning.

It will be so cool to see someone's thoughts as we are going through the same things! I cannot wait!

I'll be right here (crampy) and excitedly waiting for your posts!


Yay another baby! John and I don't have one yet, nor any plans for one for at least a handful of years, but I do find that stories like yours stick with me a bit more now than they did when we first got married. Makes me think that we're making progress on the "potential baby sometime" front. So happy for you, and what a great Valentine's Day-ish present! Hope you do well with this pregnancy!


"later conversations suggest that he actually think he's getting a Wonderpet."

Too funny.


And it's not Britney!


Congratulations! I have long been convinced that my brand of subfertility is that I can only get pregnant nowhere near ovulation - weirdly pleasant to see someone else have the same experience, at least once!


Tee Hee Hee - still giggling happily. Congrats again, and the way you wrote about it was just perfect & read probably exactly the way you felt/feel.


Congrats! I'm so excited for you guys. Oct 14th was my due date with my twins, but they were 10 days early. Not that that matters here, but just thought I'd share. ;)


OOOO! I am so excited for you! I'm betting it's a girl. I had two boys first and had no nausea, could eat whatever, craved salt. With my daughter, all I wanted was chocolate on those rare occasions when I could actually keep something down. Here's to a happy and healthy 9 months! BTW... how sweet of a big brother will Noah be?!


Congratulations! I didnt get a chance to comment yesterday, but that was one beautiful post about your relationship. And what a conclusion! I'm thrilled for you. Can't wait to keep reading, and thanks for already telling us the whole story!

Life, you are capricious but occasionally awesome. All the best to you and your family.


I am so very happy for you!!!


"Ha Ha little embryo! Mama done SOLD YOU OUT." We couldn't be prouder or happier.


Isn't this how it happened with Noah? You weren't "trying" or you were taking a break or something...? I know saying it might make you yak even more but God is good. Blessings on your little embryo. I'm excited to follow you on the journey a live vicariously. Cuz me wants another, too.


Since I had my two & had my tubes tied, I will be reading and enjoying every pregnancy post that you put up.

Go forth and find a pickle!


Damn, you posted again! :) I was checking back to see how many comments yesterday's post was up to... is that some sort of record!?

So happy for you. Libra's rock.


So excited for you I'm gonna read all about this second pregnancy in both places and I'm not even pregnant. Plus, you're pretty damn funny too. :)



Oh man, and I'm starting to get antsy after six months and a couple of weeks of trying. Last week, when my boobs were sore, I almost cried wolf. But that second line just wouldn't appear (however, along came Aunt Flo).

Huge congrats to you--we're sending lots of sparkly light in little embryo's direction to grow happy and healthy and strong.


I feel you. We got pregnant without trying, in fact we were trying not to get pregnant. Go figure. I took the test because I hadn't started yet, when it was positive (immediately) I freaked out. I couldn't believe it. I took a picture right away and paced until my husband got home. I'm due in June and have come to grips with it now. But I haven't taken care of myself like I did with my first. I go days when i don't remember I'm prego. I drink way too much coke and not enough water, I eat whatever I want when I want and the result. People think I'm having twins.
Oh, and the holding your son instead of making him walk...You'll have to put him down at some point during your pregnancy. My son started walking just in time for me and now he walks everywhere. I love it and so does my back. It does, however, take longer to go anywhere.
Congrats and good luck.

common mom

Congratulations! Ya know - it's that darn "trying" thing. The Hubby and I went through the same thing trying to get our first . . . schedules, temperatures, blah blah blah . . . after 2 years and a miscarriage, we quit trying. And BAM - prego. From DAY ONE these little babies are letting us know that it all happens on their schedule ;-)

Congrat's again to you and the fam!

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