16 Weeks, Take Two
April 30, 2008
You know, I don't care how long you've been blogging, or how many entries have been accidentally eaten by a crashed browser window, or how many times you've SWORN you'll remember to save as a draft more often, or how many times you've typed something along the lines of FUCK FUCK FUCK instead of attempting to rewrite the thoughtful think-piece that just went *poof* into nothingness, IT IS REALLY REALLY FRUSTRATING WHEN THAT HAPPENS, FUCK FUCK FUCK. GAH.
"Hilariously" enough, my browser crashed when I opened up another tab to conduct a Google Image Search for treble clefs so I could have a point of reference before drawing one on Noah's magnadoodle, which he then promptly erased. Oh, the "irony."
(He then asked that I draw Steve, but was bitterly disappointed with my stick-figure depiction, even though I think I did a pretty good job on the striped polo shirt, especially, you know, ON A MAGNADOODLE, but WHATEVER, kid.)
Eh. I think the entry kind of sucked anyway, and was mostly a lot of filler leading up to some belly photos. So...let's just say filler filler run-on sentence CAPS LOCK filler and...photo time!
So the crazy sick bloating of the first trimester finally settled down, leaving me with a perfectly reasonable 16-week belly. Unless I eat French fries. Those things still inflate me up like a bike pump. A delicious, golden-brown bike pump. I'm mostly wearing maternity clothes because hell fucking yeah, I've been waiting for an excuse to slip back into elastic waistbands for two whole years now. Sure, I can still pretty much suck that gut back in to nothingness, but why should I? You wanna fight about it?
Some days, though, it really isn't until I catch a glimpse of my profile in the mirror that I even remember hey! Right! Wow. I'm not unwieldy or too terribly uncomfortable yet, nor am I getting regular kicks to the kidneys. I still occasionally gag on a smell or taste and size up the distance to the nearest plumbing receptacle and I could sleep for 36 hours straight and still whine about how goddamn early it is, but mostly I feel pretty good. In other words, not very pregnant.
Jason has taken a turn for the superstitious and still thinks it's too early to think about names or onesies or what the hell we ever did with the crib screws. I started a half-hearted Amazon list for the stuff we gave away or broke or left behind on a curb in DC during a prolonged fit of Moving Hysteria, but I have no urge to buy anything because...what? I just peed on that stick three weeks ago, slow dowwwwn, Mabel. The conflicting ultrasound measurements and multiple due dates haven't helped either, but have instead left me with a vague feeling that this whole "infant coming to live at my house" thing is still a fluid, hypothetical event. Tour dates yet TBA, check with your local ticket agent.
But then every night, I squirt my belly with ultrasound goo and gently swirl the doppler microphone through it, and within seconds, there it is. The baby. My baby. Our baby. I can tell when it's sleeping by the slower, quiet rhythm, and when it's awake everything is faster and punctuated with a lot of static and interference from tiny flailing limbs. Every night, the heartbeat is loud and steady and reminds me of a freight train, barreling down the tracks, ready or not, here it comes.
I'm pretty sure moments after my stick turned positive, I slipped into the maternity pants (and I'm on baby number one, mind you). They are just too damn comfortable.
Posted by: Tiffany | April 30, 2008 at 01:50 PM
You look great! I understand the "this is not happening or is not real feeling" myself. But I better get over it- I am due in 4 weeks.
I think it may be time to pack my bag and get the car seat in the car. But with a 3 1/2 year son at home getting things done like I did for him is just not happening.
I can't believe I will be in the hospital sooner than later having this baby. Holy Cross here I come!
I can say that this pregnancy went so much faster.
Posted by: Hillarie | April 30, 2008 at 01:51 PM
I can't wait until my dates match up with my bloat. You look freakin' fantastic, lady.
Posted by: Leah | April 30, 2008 at 02:00 PM
is it weird that i love pregnant bellies? i just can't wait to have one. so damn cute.
also, i may be wearing elastic waist pants right now. MAYBE.
Posted by: Ashley | April 30, 2008 at 02:12 PM
You look fabulous. Waiting until you feel "very" pregnant might be a good idea because it would take your mind off being "very" pregnant.
Posted by: Maria | April 30, 2008 at 02:20 PM
Sweet, sweet, sweet!
You are SO tiny! You're gonna luck out on your second one as well and look FAB-U!
Posted by: Katie Kat | April 30, 2008 at 02:22 PM
I mean, GOOD tiny... not scary/bad Nicole Kidman tiny! :)
Posted by: Katie Kat | April 30, 2008 at 02:23 PM
I highly wish I was wearing elastic waist pants right now... not that I have a valid to other than pure, sweet comfort.
Posted by: Meghan | April 30, 2008 at 02:24 PM
I need a good excuse to stop sucking it in and start letting it all hang out. Reason #4,731 to try to get pregnant!
Posted by: Assertagirl | April 30, 2008 at 02:28 PM
What a cute little belly! You look great.
And I am torn about wanting to return to the 2nd trimester to just wanting to FF my way through my 3rd. UGH!
Posted by: Julie | April 30, 2008 at 02:41 PM
Belly! Baby belly!
Ok, let's be honest. My belly pretty much looks like that and my eggs are very much unfertilized. ;)
Posted by: Hope | April 30, 2008 at 02:41 PM
what a lovely, reassuring way to end the day :-)
Posted by: Chris | April 30, 2008 at 02:48 PM
I'm thinking I need maternity pants strictly for buffet usage.
Posted by: Aimee | April 30, 2008 at 02:56 PM
hrmm... do you have Session Restore disabled? we should recover from that with the form data intact in a lot of cases.
Posted by: kev | April 30, 2008 at 03:04 PM
kev - Yep, I do, but it generally just loads back a blank "New Post" page for Typepad, especially if you were in another tab at the time of the crash.
Posted by: Amalah | April 30, 2008 at 03:21 PM
I loved having an excuse to not worry at all about how pudgy my belly looked and to wear stretchy comfortable clothes. Now when I do that it's just because I'm lazy. Your belly looks adorable, by the way.
Posted by: yet another from the legions of Amys | April 30, 2008 at 03:29 PM
Same thing happened to me this morning on Typepad and No, I don't want to report it! Nice belly shots, by the way. Great post.
Posted by: Jen | April 30, 2008 at 03:42 PM
Please tell us what brand your maternity jeans are!
You look great!
Posted by: Bellabugsmom | April 30, 2008 at 03:43 PM
I just peed on a stick a few weeks ago to prove a friend wrong, and ended up proving her right. Last week my doctor finally settled on a due date, and I am 14 weeks along. After trying for 3 years to get my 16 month old daughter, here I am kinda freaking out about all the sudden being pregnant again! Exciting times, but I think I'm going to be needing some tips on how to juggle two babies, and what kind of things my own amazon list should contain, so anything you've got in the way of info, please throw it out there! Also, my belly is WAY bigger than yours. I am NOT a graceful pregnant person. Your little belly is TOO cute.
Posted by: hydrogeek | April 30, 2008 at 03:43 PM
hello little baby in there!
PS - when is your Bobby Flay episode going to be on?
Posted by: kalisa | April 30, 2008 at 04:36 PM
My husband is a fucking magnadoodle savant and it pisses me right the hell off.
And my 24-week gi-gando belly mocks your best french fry bloat. It poops bigger than your french fry bloat. I swear to god, I'm as big as a house.
(Also, what the hell with being 8 weeks behind me? That 0 to 40 thing would come in right handy if you could just speed it up two months. You know, just for me. Because I'm special, the radio button beside the comment box says so.)
Posted by: Lumpyheadsmom | April 30, 2008 at 04:38 PM
I love that shirt. I want that shirt. Where did you get that shirt?
Also, you just look like I do after a big meal and I'm showing everyone "Look! Haha! Don't I look pregnant!?"
Posted by: ashley | April 30, 2008 at 04:41 PM
This sentence:
"So...let's just say filler filler run-on sentence CAPS LOCK filler and...photo time!"
made me love you. :-)
Posted by: bethany actually | April 30, 2008 at 04:43 PM
So happy for you!!
Thanks for the pictures - those are my fave's! I don't know what it is about baby bumps, but I love 'em.
I am living vicariously through unil we can have another one ourselves!
Posted by: Robyn | April 30, 2008 at 05:05 PM
Oh, Gawd... are you saying that the crazy bloat goes away? I am 11 1/2 weeks and I want to die from the flabby, bloaty madness!
Posted by: Amelia | April 30, 2008 at 05:08 PM
Cute belly! I think it's so cool that you have your own doppler thingy, too.
Posted by: Elizabeth | April 30, 2008 at 05:14 PM
hi baby belly!
*sigh* miss that belly...uh, on me of course since I don't actualy know you :)
Posted by: Colleen | April 30, 2008 at 05:15 PM
Not pregnant, but I wish so so much my belly looked like yours!
You're gorgeous and sweet and shapely. Your baby definitely loves you.
Posted by: KimAZ | April 30, 2008 at 05:43 PM
You look adorable! (and freaking tiny) I think the whole "holy shit I'm pregnant" thing with the 2nd is normal. With the first you are so into every weeks' development. With the 2nd, you walk by the mirror when you're 8 months pregnant and say, "WTF???"
Posted by: Jennifer | April 30, 2008 at 05:44 PM
Baby belly! SO cute! I agree with everyone, you look great! I Love that you listen to your little ones heart beat every night, when I finally do get preggers I am SOO getting one!
Posted by: Alicia | April 30, 2008 at 05:48 PM
The jeans are by Paige and the shirt is by Ripe. They were a splurge at a local maternity "boutique" place.
(I had a coupon! It...didn't help much.)
I HIGHLY recommend the Paige jeans though, price tag aside. They actually fit like actual jeans and not like the droopy-ass pants a lot of places like to pretend are denim. I could only afford one pair so just don't look at them too closely -- there's probably three days' worth of food stains on them.
Posted by: Amalah | April 30, 2008 at 05:49 PM
I am so glad I get to read along this whole journey with you. Have I mentioned how hilarious you are?
Posted by: Sarah | April 30, 2008 at 06:21 PM
Some people look forward to their evening snack. But a baby's heartbeat is better than any snack.
Posted by: Starbuck | April 30, 2008 at 06:29 PM
Oooh. Looks like somebody likes her alpha.
Oh yeah. And that little fetus you got there is pretty cool too.
Posted by: Heather B. | April 30, 2008 at 06:39 PM
Those pics make me hate you. Just keepin' it real.
Posted by: kristi | April 30, 2008 at 07:26 PM
You make one cute pregnant lady, Amalah. Also, that is a terrific shirt.
Posted by: Sara | April 30, 2008 at 07:52 PM
I bought a trendy Empire waist (read: elastic band below the boobs)dress pre-pregnancy. Put it on and thought I'd never wear it because it made me look, well, pregnant. Two months later, in fact, as soon as I knew I was pregnant, I was like, screw it, I'm happy to look as big as a bus in this dress I AM pregnant!
love your site!
Posted by: bethany | April 30, 2008 at 09:08 PM
I'm barely pregnant with my 3rd squid and already am looking like I swallowed a watermelon. I'm looking into caftans.
Posted by: gorillabuns | April 30, 2008 at 10:15 PM
I hope I'm as cute as you when I'm pregnant -- I guess I would have to be that small BEFORE getting pregnant though, huh?
DAMN.
Posted by: JuneBlossom | April 30, 2008 at 10:56 PM
you look absolutely Amazing. with a capital A
Posted by: cate | April 30, 2008 at 11:45 PM
Hey, please take it easy with the ultrasounds. We don't really know what they do and I've read that some people are starting to think there might be a link to autism.
K?
xxoo
Posted by: lisa | May 01, 2008 at 10:00 AM
About the clef thing...I did the same thing with a violin on a quilt when I was 2, and 1 1/2 years later I was still going on about the quilt, so I was finally allowed violin lessons. And now I am graduating my degree in violin with Honours on Wednesday, so my bet = Noah = composer.
Posted by: Jem | May 01, 2008 at 10:03 AM
Just being silly there by the way, I shoulda put a wink at the end or something! here it is: ;)
Posted by: Jem | May 01, 2008 at 10:04 AM
btw, omg. I imagine, supportiveness and not making the pregnant lady pissed because she can make her own decisions, with a touch of worried. Lisa = FAIL
Posted by: Jem | May 01, 2008 at 10:07 AM
LOL... yeah, I couldn't wait to get back into maternity clothes when I was preggers with Gretel. I could STOP sucking in my gut! Awesome.
I know I am totally late in coming here to congratulate you, but CONGRATS! Glad you are feeling better. And the belly? Just beauteous.
Posted by: Wicked Stepmom | May 01, 2008 at 11:04 AM
Lisa, a doppler is not an ultrasound. It's just a microphone. Been used for years and years by doctors and midwives and proven definitely safe. No radiowaves or microwaves, less bothersome to a fetus than those dumb "play Mozart to your baby!" things or shining a flashlight on your belly.
And can we all stop using autism like the boogeyman, especially when it comes to blaming the mother for causing it, WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHAT CAUSES IT?
Posted by: Amalah | May 01, 2008 at 11:29 AM
We're nearing the Year Mark and I keep thinking, "Wait! Didn't I pee on a stick three weeks ago?"
Freight train or not. Exactly.
But better.
Posted by: Mrs. Flinger | May 01, 2008 at 11:42 AM
I am still knee deep in the bloating phase, so your adorable 16 week belly is doing me no good. Except for the hope that in a month or so I may look as adorable as you.
Posted by: Kimba | May 01, 2008 at 12:05 PM
I love hearing about how your pregnancy is progressing. Probably partly because I am pregnant too and none of my friends are so it is always fun to hear about someone else going through similar things. Anyway thanks for sharing your stories and you look fabulous!
Posted by: Dawn | May 01, 2008 at 12:09 PM
NUTS! I have held off 7 months on buying a doppler (was afraid I'd be inept at using it and freak myself out...worse than my usual paranoia). And also, I'm kind of cheap and didn't want to spend the moola for this one and only pregnancy.
But after reading your loving description of the nightly heartbeat ritual, I want one! As wee baby is making a ton of reassuring movements, I don't think I'll freak too bad if I have trouble with the doppler. Have just put one on hold at Once Upon a Child...$8.50 for 2.5 months more nightly entertainment? Totally worth it!
Posted by: books | May 01, 2008 at 01:18 PM
My belly looks like that after 16 potato chips, never mind a whole human living in there!
Posted by: Jacquie | May 01, 2008 at 03:21 PM
You look wonderful! My baby will be 4 months old on Monday and I still wear my maternity pants a lot, especially on nights when my husband makes tacos. They are now referred to as my "eating pants." My dad says he's thinking of getting some for holidays. :)
Your nightly doppler ritual is so sweet! What a great time for you to reflect on that cute little bundle coming your way! Congrats again.
Posted by: Jen L. | May 01, 2008 at 03:24 PM