28 Weeks & No -Ish
July 24, 2008
Since my doctor and I have finally agreed on a concrete due date, or at least a decent compromise on one (four days later than my math suggests, four days before some of the more runty early ultrasounds), I figure it's time to stop with the fuzzy update titles and just commit to a week already.
So. 28 weeks. Solidly in the third trimester. Eleven weeks or so away from delivery via hacksaw.
I won't lie. I'm a tad defensive about the scheduled c-section. (It's hard not to be, out here on the Internet.) When people inquired about my due date at Blogher I was unable to give the simple answer: October 18th, but I will probably deliver sometime around the 10th. Instead I found myself rushing to provide all sorts of details that no one really asked for: Noah was 10 pounds! Occiput posterior! Meconium! Cord around the neck! A really narrow, weirdly turned-in pelvis that prevented him from ever getting anywhere near the exit! Fetal distress! Doooooooom!
(And that's usually when people would back away from me, possibly emitting high-frequency screams that only dogs could hear. I need a Saint Bernard, some hot cocoa and a shitload of Bailey's, I imagined them saying.)
I've spent a lot of time thinking about my options. To have a shot at a vaginal birth, I'd likely need to be induced ahead of time, before the baby gets past the 8-pound range. (My doctor believes, based on what we saw last time, that I'd probably only be able to safely deliver a baby who was UNDER 8 pounds. It's not that I'm ridiculously petite or anything -- I simply do not have the birthin' hips. I've got something more akin to a bear trap.)
I worry that an induction is (for me, anyway) just a long, drawn-out path to a repeat c-section, since I have no idea how I'd respond to pitocin or if we'd really be able pinpoint the sweet spot between "manageable baby size" and "oh, you know, LUNG MATURITY AND SHIT." Knowing that a c-section would remain on the table in case of trouble, I would again opt for an epidural to prevent having to go completely under in case of surgery, and...that's not what I really want either. If I were to attempt a VBAC, I'd want to go full balls-out natural -- if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna DO IT. The full monty of vaginal birth. With that more or less off the table, the VBAC looks less attractive and more...like a needlessly risky choice I'd be making for probably the wrong reasons.
(And yes. Yes! I get that a c-section is major abdominal surgery and not without its own risks. Which is why, if it's going to remain a likely possibility anyway, I'd prefer for it to happen in a calm, scheduled manner instead of the OH SHIT I LEFT MY SCALPEL IN MY OTHER PANTS emergency scenario we had last time.)
Sp provided my uterus doesn't get any fancy ideas in the next 10 weeks or so, I'm not gonna do it. Because of the mitigating factors -- pitocin, epidural, a baby who seems to flip between tranverse and breech but never head down, and this little needling suspicion that I'd end up exhausted and worn-down and sliced open anyway -- I've realized that I don't really want to go for a VBAC. And...I think I should really, really want the VBAC. I've tried to talk myself into wanting it, but...I don't.
I have no regrets about my section last time -- all in all, it was pretty great and easy and absolutely the right option at the time. I have nothing to prove in its wake; I have no empty space on my Major Life Accomplishments trophy shelf that I'm dying to fill with the PUSHED CHILD SUCCESSFULLY OUT OF NETHER REGIONS 2008 AWARD. I just want us both to get through this thing okay and onto the really important stuff. (Like breastfeeding! And co-sleeping! And infant Mandarin Chinese classes! Ohhhh, and now I'm just cranky.)
dude - you are seriously the skinniest pregnant lady ever
also? it blows my mind that people feel the right to have an opinion about your vagina
birth your child the way you want to birth him
kick the haters in the shin!
Posted by: hillary | July 24, 2008 at 02:40 PM
You know the right reasons for what you choose to do and that's all that matters :) I am excited for the upcoming months of new baby stories!!
Posted by: Rebecca | July 24, 2008 at 02:41 PM
11 weeks is so soon!! I can hardly believe Noah will soon have a little brother.
Posted by: Katie | July 24, 2008 at 02:42 PM
Hey - you have to do what's right for you. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, and no explaining necessary. Congratulations! You're going to have another beautiful little boy in just a couple of months!
Posted by: Beeeee | July 24, 2008 at 02:42 PM
you look fantastic!
there's no need to defend your choice, my dear. You have to do what's right for YOU, critics be damned.
It's about having a healthy baby in your arms, not about how he gets here.
Posted by: moo | July 24, 2008 at 02:46 PM
My answer to why a scheduled-c? "Because my doctor and I agreed on it."
3w5d to go for me.
Posted by: Cobblestone | July 24, 2008 at 02:46 PM
Dude, I was a C-section and so were all my brothers and sisters. And we did not turn out to be murderers or people who talk loudly on their cell phones at the gym or anything. Nothing to worry about!
Posted by: Nothing But Bonfires | July 24, 2008 at 02:48 PM
I had similar feelings about justifying my scheduled repeat C-section, but I just KNEW that I'd end up with one, anyway. And when my second child was born via scheduled C-section, it was so obvious he would have never made it out with a VBAC. Go with your gut and don't pay the naysayers no nevermind.
Posted by: rimarama | July 24, 2008 at 02:50 PM
Hey, I had 4 sections, 3 of them planned, because everyone involved (including the midwife) was convinced that I'd need one when all was said and done, anyway. Good luck with it.
Posted by: FishyGirl | July 24, 2008 at 02:51 PM
I had two little girls vaginally (I hate to say "naturally" because childbirth is always natural) and while it was great and all and my recovery was nothing, I don't think I would feel like I "missed" anything if I had had two C-sections instead.
But, to be honest, I'm glad and relieved I was able to do it vaginally... but not "proud". It's not like they hand out trophies and it's not like we really have any control over it, anyway (unless we're Christina Aquelera whose OB-GYN who never met a scheduled non-medically necessary C-section he didn't love).
October will be here before you know it... get ready for two. It's tough but so awesome!
You've clearly thought this out and it's between your doctor and you, anyway. Best of luck.
Posted by: MARIA | July 24, 2008 at 02:51 PM
I wish I could have looked like that at 20 weeks!!! Kudos to you... you look fantastic!!!!!
Posted by: Tam. | July 24, 2008 at 02:52 PM
Even if a VBAC is an option next time around for me I'm still going with the c-section cause guess what? The whole point is a baby! And THATS THE WHOLE POINT! And why does it matter to everyone else how your baby gets here?
Posted by: Ariel | July 24, 2008 at 02:52 PM
Beautiful belly there, Amy!
Posted by: Maria | July 24, 2008 at 02:53 PM
If people don't like it, f*ck 'em. It isn't their baby at possible risk so wtf do they know?
Not to be crude about it or anything.
Posted by: MDH_Jenn | July 24, 2008 at 02:54 PM
I feel your pain (well, I'm not pregnant so I guess I don't feel ALL of your pain!). I had my first kiddo by emergency c-section. When we get around to making kiddo #2, I plan on having a c-section again. I hate having to explain that to people who think I'm not a woman until I push a kid out my vagina!
So you won't hear me bitching to you about it and hope that people (especially blogland) leave you alone about YOUR decision!
Posted by: Meg | July 24, 2008 at 02:55 PM
Hey, I had 4 sections, 3 of them scheduled because everyone involved, including the midwife, figured I'd end up with a section when all was said and done anyway. And let me tell you, the recovery after 2-4? Piece of cake. Easy peasy. Much better than some vag births I've seen. Either way, your body, your baby, you do it your way.
Posted by: FishyGirl | July 24, 2008 at 02:55 PM
My scheduled C (which followed one natural child birth and one emergency C) was the. best. experience. ever. Really. I loved every minute of it. The doctors joked in the delivery room, it takes about 3 seconds, and the recovery wasn't really that different that the natural. (The recovery from the emergency s-u-c-k-e-d) Plus you get the added bonus of not being allowed out of bed for that first black meconium diaper. . .you know, because you can't feel your legs and all. I recommend them to everyone I know and I just smile when people argue with me. Because I know the real truth! Enjoy the next eleven weeks.
Posted by: allison | July 24, 2008 at 02:56 PM
Honestly, I don't get it. Um, no kidding a c-section is a surgery that carries risk. Seems like for you, a vaginal birth poses its own, whole extra sets of risks. And, duh, of course you understand the risks of c-sections. You went through it before. And losing out on some sort of life trophy for delivering via c-section rather than vaginally? I thought the "trophy" was the baby? Does how it came to be really measure your worth in any way possible?
Obviously, I'm not a mom, which is why I don't get any how there's any possible need for you to have to defend your choice.
Posted by: Melissa | July 24, 2008 at 02:57 PM
weird. It crashed in the first comment, then didn't reappear so I did the second one. Sorry bout that.
Posted by: FishyGirl | July 24, 2008 at 02:57 PM
Hey, you get on with your bad self and have that baby however the heck you want to.
Now let's talk about the really important things - where did you get those jeans?! They look so much less maternityish and harrible than all the ones I could find! Am guessing they were $400 dollars and they don't make them anymore?
Posted by: Elizabeth | July 24, 2008 at 02:58 PM
Psh. C-section, vaginal. Whatever and who cares? As long as the baby and you are ok, to hell with everybody else's opinions that don't mean crap anyway. Sorry, I just think it's silly that women need to explain why their choices are best for them and their family. Blerg.
Posted by: marcoda | July 24, 2008 at 03:03 PM
When I went for my first appointment for my second pregnancy the midwife gave me an exam and announced that I DID have birthing hips and that I could have a nine pound baby, like YAY isn't that great and all I could think was, oh please don't let this be a nine pound baby. Luckily (for my nether regions) both my babies were little and healthy. I also thought I would have made an excellent wife in pioneer days, birthing hips were all the rage back then.
Posted by: Jenny | July 24, 2008 at 03:04 PM
I had a scheduled C-section in November, and I recovered from it so much more quickly than from the first one (which was induced + failure-to-progress = quick! to the scalpel!)
It sounds like my experience was similar to Allison's. At my post-baby checkup, the doctor actually said, "That was a lot of fun." And for a planned surgery, yeah, it was a blast.
Posted by: Nichole | July 24, 2008 at 03:05 PM
OH! And congrats on having a "firm" due date. I'm in the "-ish" realm right now myself due to possible induction: 18/11 days until my little man is due to arrive!
Posted by: marcoda | July 24, 2008 at 03:09 PM
Those are super cool maternity jeans!
And, go on with your section self!
Posted by: Jeanelle | July 24, 2008 at 03:13 PM
I had the same type of experience. First time it was a few days getting induced to an "omg get this baby out now" c-section. My second was a planned surgery so I had my doctor and it was so much better. But, I like things that are planned out. So it worked well for me.
Posted by: Dorene | July 24, 2008 at 03:17 PM
"I've realized that I don't really want to go for a VBAC. And...I think I should really, really want the VBAC. I've tried to talk myself into wanting it, but...I don't."
I hear ya. I had an emergency c-section last year. The idea of going through all the labor pain to have another c-section makes my head spin. I don't think you can understand if you haven't been there. I just don't talk about it with people anymore.
Posted by: Michelle | July 24, 2008 at 03:21 PM
I know you know this, but who cares how the baby gets here.. all that matters is that the baby comes out healthy! And I kind of hate you for being skinnier pregnant than I am 3 1/2 months post partum. :P
Posted by: Anne | July 24, 2008 at 03:23 PM
Hee! I love the reference to infant Mandarin Chinese classes. We started my little one at 18 months, but we're Chinese, so it's OK. :)
Posted by: Asianmommy | July 24, 2008 at 03:24 PM
First of all. You suck! My belly isn't that small now and my baby is almost 8 months old!!
Second of all, I can totally relate to all of this justifying you have to do. I was right there with you around this same time last year. I made all the same arguments to myself and to anyone who asked, or didn't. I felt very defensive about the whole thing and very unsure about my decision, but only because I thought people would think I copped out or something. I too had complications with my first delivery and had to have an unplanned c-sections, so I had the whole VBAC blah blah blah thoughts running around in my head too (except mine included drugs... and lots of them!).
I had to go to therapy to get OK with this in my head, for cripe's sake! But I did. And I should. And there's no logical reason to have doubted myself in the first place. I was making a solid decision based on waht was best for me and my baby and I didn't have to prove myself to anyone.
And neither do you. Just wanted you to know that :-)
Posted by: Jill (CDJ) | July 24, 2008 at 03:25 PM
Having had a VBAC followed by a failed induction (30 hours of failure) that ended with a CS, my last child was quite refreshing since we knew the date and time she was coming. I was able to shave, shower apply makeup (stupid, I know) and have a baby with no stress whatsoever. I highly recommend your choice, especially with all the variables your facing.
Posted by: Starbuck | July 24, 2008 at 03:26 PM
I guess one of the hard parts about having a blog is that it makes it a whole lot easier for people of the world to judge you. I say eff them. If you thik a c-section is better for you and YOUR baby, you go for it! You have my support, my enouragment and my shoulder/blog/computer to cry on! You are a smart, educated, researched women and are not jumping into this blind, so you know what is best!
and holy crap 10 WEEKS! Where the freak did time go, it serioulsy feels like you just said oh ya I am all kinds of pregnant and now bam 10 weeks and you will have a baby! AHHHHH so thrilled for you!
Posted by: Alicia | July 24, 2008 at 03:27 PM
What's most important is the health of your baby. It sounds to me like you tried last time and it was not good for the baby, or for you. Why put yourself through that? I think it is a much saner option to have a scheduled c-section than to induce your baby early. Baby deserves as much time on the inside to develop as you can give him. It's not like you're having a c-section just because you want to schedule it in between other appointments or something!
You DO look great, btw, so I think if anyone says anything to you you should just secretly think about how much better than them you look.
Posted by: Rachael | July 24, 2008 at 03:30 PM
Your priorities sound pretty straight to me. Screw 'em.
Posted by: Cara | July 24, 2008 at 03:32 PM
Push him out or cut him out, Tivo's acoming. I'm gonna echo the other supporters who say "just do what's best for you", but I'd really be interested in seeing what happens with a VBAC as I had a CS with my daughter (who sat Buddha and stole my chance at the Mommy Award in '06) and have been considering a VBAC for Baby #2 who will happen when hubby comes to terms with the fact that we're gonna have another one, like it or lump it! (Wow, the last comment really should have been saved for another post.)
Posted by: Jen | July 24, 2008 at 03:36 PM
I had an emergency c-section the first time too after 8 rounds of pitocin.. hmmmm anyway same thing my pelvic area to small for my sumo baby. So this time I am having a c-section again.. I feel like I don't have the right to put myself at the risk for vbac even though they say the risk is small... whatever I was also suppose to be able to have a baby from the vagina ya know!
I am 28 1/2 weeks I will have a section prob on the 10th or the 8th... not sure which day I want yet.
I am HUGE!
Posted by: mojavi | July 24, 2008 at 03:37 PM
You have to do what you feel is best! If anyone preaches at you otherwise, as Cara said, Screw 'em!!
Posted by: Nikki | July 24, 2008 at 03:39 PM
Good for you that you've reached a decision that you're comfortable with. That (and of course, a healthy mom & baby) is all that really matters, anyway!
Posted by: Beth | July 24, 2008 at 03:46 PM
I had an emergency c-section last time and this time I'm having a scheduled one. Because you know what? It's no fun to go through 9 hours of "baby was in the perfect position, he just wasn't coming out" labor just to end up having major abdominal surgery any old way. I'm sick of hearing about the dreaded "C-section rates" of hospitals like they are ripping out the babies' toenails or something. No one ever talks about alarming "knee surgery rates" as though that were causing the Demise of the Human Race. Those dratted knee-surgery getters! Can't they just suffer through a busted knee like they did in the good old days -- the way the Good Lord intended us to? Doctors know how to do this and it's a good thing, people. That is all.
Posted by: aimee in virginia | July 24, 2008 at 03:47 PM
Having had two c-sections, the first of which was an emergency and sucked, I can tell you without a doubt, that you have made a splendid choice. The second PLANNED c-section was sooooo easy and I loved every minute of time with my new baby. Being able to plan help and childcare for our first daughter made us all so relaxed. Recovery was much quicker the second time around. I wouldn't change a thing!
Posted by: katbliss | July 24, 2008 at 03:47 PM
No criticism here. I've got the bear-trap pelvis, too. We all do what we have to do!
Posted by: Kia | July 24, 2008 at 03:48 PM
Um, seriously? You do NOT have to justify your decision to have a scheduled C-section. It is no one's business or decision but yours and Jason's. Those who have a problem with it can offer to push the baby out their hoo-ha for you.
Posted by: Missie | July 24, 2008 at 03:50 PM
The word VBAC makes me very uncomfortable. It sounds like a brand of Dyson used especially for birthing babies.
"The new Dyson VBAC never loses suction! Not even faced with a nine-pounder!"
Also, am mystified as to why anyone cares how you give birth. I know when my time comes, I'm doing whatever is best for me and the baby. Is anyone else intimately familiar with my vag? I THINK NOT.
Posted by: jonniker | July 24, 2008 at 04:02 PM
It amazes me how everyone thinks they know your body and whats right for it better than you.
I saw someone snatch a peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of a pregnant woman's hand once because she thought it was bad for the baby (and this was long before the whole peanuts = asthma connection) Um, hello, everyone just dial it down a notch.
Posted by: judy haley (coffeejitters) | July 24, 2008 at 04:04 PM
I absolutely can't believe that you feel you have to defend your decision to have a scheduled c-section vs. a VBAC. I agree with the comment-er who said that the "trophy" at the end is a healthy baby (and a healthy mama, too, for that matter!)
As much as I love the internet and the community it builds, it does upset me that people feel the need to tear down others for the decisions they make. Which I guess is my way of joining the chorus of "eff 'em if they don't like it!" (I just don't think you should ever have to be in that situation in the first place.)
Anyway, now that I'm done babbling, I found you through zero to forty on AlphaMom, and as a fairly new lurker and definitely a first time comment-er, I just wanted to say that I absolutely LOVE your writing.
And those jeans? J'adore!!! Where did you find them?! Am 10 weeks pregnant myself and would LOVE something like that.
Posted by: Jenn | July 24, 2008 at 04:07 PM
Look at the belly!! :) I'm still pulling for a girl. No offense to boy babies. :)
Poke the haters in the nose and then grab their crotches and say, "Let's talk about YOUR vagina now, shall we??" (Note: This will likely only work with women. But I'll give you $5 for every guy you try it with. :))
Posted by: Maxine Dangerous | July 24, 2008 at 04:10 PM
I'm going through a similar debate with myself now and will most likely end up with the same decision. First baby was emergency C due to meconium, cord around the neck, 8lbs. 10.4oz not fitting through what I thought were good birthing hips, and a dropped heart rate. Due date is October 17th, C-section would be 9th, 10th or 11th. You're not delivering at Sibley are you? All the other similarities are uncanny!
Posted by: Stephanie | July 24, 2008 at 04:11 PM
Wait. Wait. You mean they DON'T give out trophies for pushin' a baby out through the hoo-ha? Well crap. I guess I'll have to find something else to do with that empty space I've been saving on my shelf for the MIGHTY VAGINA TROPHY.
Posted by: Tiffany | July 24, 2008 at 04:12 PM
It baffles me that anyone feels like it's ok to offer (ha, "offer" like it's a cracker or a cookie) you an opinion about your body and your baby. The main objective remains the same no matter what the decision, yes? Get both you and kidlet #2 through in a safe manner. Up to you how that happens, so while I can completely understand the need to explain yourself on teh intarweb (where anyone can attack), I say tell the pretty strangers you meet that you are due at the beginning of October. All vague and shit. Ain't none of their business, anyway, right?
You are so skinny, lady.
Posted by: Erin | July 24, 2008 at 04:13 PM
Elizabeth -- I actually JUST got those jeans, so yes, you can still get them. On sale at Pea in the Pod. Lucky Brand. These are long shorts/capri-type things, but I think they make regular jeans with the same waistband too.
I of course JUST found a gift card that a friend gave me back when I was like, six weeks and never used, so I figured why not buy some new pants, what with 10 WHOLE WEEKS left to go? (I also had to buy a bathing suit since we're going to the beach this month and I cannot find my suit from last time. GAH.)
Posted by: Amalah | July 24, 2008 at 04:14 PM
Let's all be clear, dear internet, on the ultimate goal for any pregnancy: Healthy baby, healthy mama. The end.
Posted by: heels | July 24, 2008 at 04:14 PM
Why are so many women so passionate about defending women's rights and "my body is MY body" when it comes to abortion but not birthing? You can't pick and choose when you get to tell us what to do.
Amy - It's your cooch, your kid. Nothin' much else to say.
Posted by: koz | July 24, 2008 at 04:14 PM
I have a question: How do you keep your pants up? I am now the proud owner of a pair of low-rise, no-panel maternity jeans (thank you again!), and they fell down so much in the first ten minutes I had them on that I put on a belt. Which didn't help, of course, since the belt didn't have anything to grab on to. Strange considering I DO have birthing hips and a butt you could set a drink on. What's your secret?
Posted by: Leah | July 24, 2008 at 04:29 PM
You are quite the skinny pregnant lady, but healthy looking skinny.
Sounds like you've made a great decision that works for you.
Posted by: The Other Laura | July 24, 2008 at 04:30 PM
Oh my gosh Amy - you have got to be the best looking pregnant lady ever. I would go under the knife to have that butt (and a baby :-)
You are too cute.
Posted by: Laura | July 24, 2008 at 04:35 PM
Those are the cutest jeans ever! You are adorable.
Eh, C-Section, Schmee Section. Do people still really get all judgy about this?
No way I'd push a 10 pounder out voluntarily. Uh-uh!
Posted by: Danielle | July 24, 2008 at 04:41 PM
Those belly shots almost ALMOST make me miss being pregnant.
And I totally know what you mean about feeling like you should want to try vbac but not really wanting to for all of your very own damn reasons. Don't spend more time fretting over it! Just enjoy Noah's last 10ish weeks as an only child. That's what's really important.
Posted by: eva | July 24, 2008 at 04:43 PM
I said no to the VBAC too. And I promise your second C is sooo much easier than the first. You really will be up in a day. sore, but out of bed at least.
The best part, you get to stay in the hospital and be waited on. No laundry, no dishes. No child climbing over your newly empty lap. Enjoy!
Posted by: amber oler | July 24, 2008 at 04:45 PM
You make an adorable pregnant chick. Too cute.
C-section, VBAC, hard core vag delivery underwater in a scuba suit......the end result is a baby in your arms, and that is all that matters.
Can't wait to see this little dude.
Posted by: jody | July 24, 2008 at 04:48 PM
With all 4 of mine, I went through labor (pain) then had c-sections so I've experienced both..Everyone's right, whatever decision you make is totally ok, it's your body. That said, do the scheduled C! Soo much easier.
Posted by: Robin | July 24, 2008 at 04:54 PM
The way you put it, I wish I could go back in time and change my vaginal labor/birth into a C-section. Can you do that?
Posted by: rachel beto | July 24, 2008 at 04:55 PM
My first daughter was 11 pounds. She has a permanent palsy because of trauma that occurred when I pushed her out of my own nether regions.
My second was a scheduled c-section. She's perfect. If I had bowed down to the bullshit people give you about scheduled c-sections, she might not have been.
I keep that in mind whenever I happen to feel guilty about it. Damnitt.
Your priorities are 150% right.
Posted by: Maria | July 24, 2008 at 04:56 PM
Pretty exciting, stuff! Congrats on picking a due date! :)
Posted by: Ashley | July 24, 2008 at 05:12 PM
My friend and I also have the wonky tilted pelvis thing. Her doctor didn't know about it, and she went through labor and an emergency c-section the first time around.
Then her crazy doctor told her it'd be okay to do a vbac with the second baby. And guess what? Another long labor and emergency c-section!
My dr. told me during my first pregnancy that I'd probably have to have a c-section. Faced with the possibility of having a long labor followed by surgery, I agreed to a scheduled one. After he was born, my dr. told me there was no way he would have fit through the birth canal.
Then when I was got pregnant the second time, I heard about my friend's second emergency c-section. Craziness!
As soon as my dr. mentioned surgery again, I told her to sign me up!
My boys were both born healthy, and we're happy, and that's all that matters!
Posted by: mtngray | July 24, 2008 at 05:16 PM
I lived that story. First..all details almost the same.I was going to try to have my second Vbac but just said, cut-her out, I don't care, I just want her healthy. You know what the problem is? Our damn healthy life style and horse vitamins are leading to mambo babies. I told my mom that I should have just kept their birth rates down by drinking and smoking like she did. you know, old skool style.
Posted by: Xdm | July 24, 2008 at 05:16 PM
I've never understood why people feel like they have a right to tell you how to give birth. The way I see it, your baby, your vagina, your decision.
Posted by: Valerie | July 24, 2008 at 05:19 PM
I'm astonished by the fact that people think you're somehow a better mother if you manage to push a baby out of your vagina. Who cares how baby gets here, as long as he gets here??!!
You look fabulous!
Posted by: sarah | July 24, 2008 at 05:23 PM
My first was an unplanned c-section, second was planned.
I wanted to WANT a vbac for the second one, but every time I thought about it, all I could think was, "I'm going to risk all that and end up with a C-section anyway."
And I honestly thought I'd have a mental breakdown afterward if that happened. Like, if I had set myself to do the VBAC, gotten all jazzed and pumped and focused, and then it failed, I would honestly, mentally, not be able to deal with it.
So that was probably 50% of why I said, "I'm taking control, we're doing the VBAC."
Not the right reason, I suppose. But for me, having some control over the outcome was important. Probably because I had so little control the first time and it scared the total shit out of me.
And once I decided to do the scheduled c-section and took VBAC off the table, I was able to sleep again.
And luckily, it all turned out well.
Good luck to you.
Posted by: k | July 24, 2008 at 05:31 PM
Ack, that was supposed to say, "I'm taking control, we're doing the C-section."
See? I get all distracted just thinking about it.
Posted by: k | July 24, 2008 at 05:35 PM
I know exactly what you're going through. My first pregnancy I had twins, complicated pregancy,ended with a c-section. Everything went beautifully and now they are the 2 craziest, smartest, fun 6 year olds ever. When I had my newest, the doctor told me since the last pregnancy was so complicated I had to have a c section (risks of uterine rupture was elevated-- the whole bit) I schedualed my c section like it was a hair appointment. The doc goes how 'bout thursday the 27th?? I'm Like, "Neh, how's Friday looking?" Done. My husband was there and by no means did it take away from anything. But I also had to defend myself constantly and pepper in horror stories of my first pregnancy to justify it.
All that matters is that beautiful baby.
Posted by: Cattieboombattie | July 24, 2008 at 05:37 PM
You might be cranky, but you are also awfully cute. And Noah is cute. And I'm betting this baby will be cute, too, so does it really matter how he gets out? Nope. Happy, unstressed mom = happy, unstressed baby. However that happens.
Posted by: Sara | July 24, 2008 at 05:37 PM
I'm not a mom, but it seems horrible that there's kind of a birthing olympics out there... It's about the BABY...not how he/she gets here. Sorry to be so preachy.
Posted by: Ellen | July 24, 2008 at 05:38 PM
That whole pushing a baby out? Not all that. Really. And pitocin sucks big donkey balls. I think your plan sounds beautiful, actually.
Posted by: Jezer | July 24, 2008 at 05:52 PM
I get the same way about the fact that I couldn't nurse. All defensive and stuff. Even though I tried and there were perfectly good reasons and such. I think it's just the nature of motherhood.
Posted by: jodifur | July 24, 2008 at 05:52 PM
I hate the judgy people who tell me that I shouldn't want an epidural (GASP--I said it out loud!) and that I'm strongly considering a scheduled C. It's no one's business that I had back surgery 2 years ago and the only thing I'm more scared of than labor and delivery is herniating another disc in my back. I really hate that I feel like I have to defend my choice to have drugs.
God forbid I admit that I wish I could bottle feed, but I'm only planning on bfing because my husband and I have hella allergies and if I can spare the baby any of that, I will.
Judgy people suck..congrats for tuning out the noise and figuring out what works for you.
Posted by: Crystal | July 24, 2008 at 05:52 PM
The point is the baby not the birth! I had my first vaginally and it was 3 weeks before I could walk. Ouch! My second was born after an emergency C-section (failure to progress, fetal distress, meconium) and I was walking the next day with NO drugs. Given the choice, go with what's right for you and your baby...
Posted by: Joy | July 24, 2008 at 05:54 PM
Well, as someone who was just recently pregnant, I can sympathize. I learned an expression that said "Opinions are like behinds (okay, not what the person told me); everyone's got one, and a lot of them stink."
Just know that you're doing what's right for you and your child, and that most people who are giving you an opinion are just trying to show you their support (in a misguided way).
Posted by: Channah @ Get a Grip, Mom! | July 24, 2008 at 05:55 PM
I just hate that we have to make disclaimers for why we pick a repeat c-section over a VBAC. I did the same as you, for nearly the same reasons. I didn't want to end up back in Emergency Land. It's very scary there! And yes, the scheduled c-section was a far, far better experience for EVERYONE involved.
You're among friends, here!
Posted by: Marilyn | July 24, 2008 at 05:55 PM
Hey - I was in the same boat 3.5 months ago and did the second c with almost no second thought. I knew I had done the right thing when my doc said there was a bunch of scar tissue during the c that would have made the vbac impossible. And yeah, the recovery was a walk in the park...
Can't wait! love to you (in a non-creepy way)
Posted by: henna | July 24, 2008 at 06:05 PM
Hi!! I stumbled upon your blog one day at work from the Danny's blog (DGM) and I must say that I love it! I loved it so much that I read all of your archives (I'm a receptionist and have a LOT of free time at work)--and now I feel like I know you in that weird internet way.
Anyway, the point of this long, conveluted comment is that I love your writing and think you should do whatever you want with your body and to hell with anyone else's opinion. The C-section is right for you. Enough said!
P.S. Noah is adorable! You are so Lucky!
P.P.S. Thanks for the distration from data entry! :)
Posted by: Meghan | July 24, 2008 at 06:11 PM
A tiny little bit of me still feels guilty for not wanting a VBAC with child number 2. But, hey we are both happy and healthy and damn her for only being 9 pounds when my first was over 10.
The ONLY thing that matters what you want. No need to answer to anyone but yourself.
Posted by: Kandace | July 24, 2008 at 07:00 PM
I don't know why people feel the need to tell you how to deliver your baby. I had to have a c-section with Avery because she was over a week late and way over 10 pounds (almost 11 pounds). My doctor didn't really give me a choice with Jack. She told me my due date and then told me my c-section date. when I asked if I could attempt a VBAC she said sure, but here are all the things we aren't going to do...(pictocin, inducement, etc.) and she asked me to sign all these papers about not getting a lawyer if I bled to death. After that I just decided to be happy with a repeat c. I wasn't bothered by it at all.
Posted by: Amy H | July 24, 2008 at 07:19 PM
Dude, I think it is awesome that you've made a decision and are sticking with it.
When I was pregnant with Tori, I handed Dr. Mama our birth plan. It was a white sheet of paper and it said, "GET BABY OUT ALIVE." So I totally hear you.
BTW--totally random--how did you stick that little comment policy blurb on this here typepad blog? Cause I could totally use that. :)
Posted by: Cecily | July 24, 2008 at 07:42 PM
Dude, I think it is awesome that you've made a decision and are sticking with it.
When I was pregnant with Tori, I handed Dr. Mama our birth plan. It was a white sheet of paper and it said, "GET BABY OUT ALIVE." So I totally hear you.
BTW--totally random--how did you stick that little comment policy blurb on this here typepad blog? Cause I could totally use that. :)
Posted by: Cecily | July 24, 2008 at 07:47 PM
I found myself oddly defensive with my second baby, a scheduled repeat c-section. Then I realized, enough already. Birthing shouldn't be AT ALL about how the mother gets that child out of her body. It's about bringing a new life into the world. As long as that happens, mission accomplished. Can I get an "Amen?"
Posted by: Kelly | July 24, 2008 at 07:58 PM
Ok....the cute belly pictures have to stop. I can't stand my side views. There is not a pair of pants made that are comfortable for my belly. Either the belly pushes them down...or the belly pulls them too far up into frontal wedgie territory. YIKES!
Do what you are comfortable with! I am having my 3rd c section and at least it is known territory.
I am fine with it.
The reason for doctors and all the schooling and stuff that they do....and the fact that we live in the 21st cenury.
We can have
Healthy Mom AND Healthy Baby!
That is the goal!
Posted by: Martha | July 24, 2008 at 08:23 PM
Damn, at that stage of both pregnancies I looked like I was about to birth a VW. Bus. My first c-section was an emergency and the kid spent 5 days in the NICU (post mature, collapsed lung, yeah, not fun). The second kid was so big it was pretty damn clear that VBAC was not on the table. I could tell I was carrying a moose, and was afraid there might be antlers. My lovely daughter entered the world via scheduled c-section, I was awake, everybody was calm and cheerful, somebody provided music, it was a wonderful experience. And she was a dainty 9 lbs. 4.25 oz. and 21 inches, so yeah, good call with the scheduled c-section.
Have that baby whatever way makes sense for you and the baby, and the hell with the Birth Police of teh Internets.
Posted by: Catherine | July 24, 2008 at 08:29 PM
Oh, I was just thisclose to telling my own birthin stories, what with all the initial c-sections and planned sections and unscheduled VBAC's, and saying, "Honey, relax! You don't have to defend all this to yourself, much less to us!" but then I stopped myself because - 1. nobody around here wants to hear my birthin stories and 2. of course you don't HAVE to defend any and all choices, but that's what we do, so it is what it is. Sucks to see you fret about it so, though. It will all be beautiful in the end, and you will have no regrets.
Also, I hope you done good and absorbed all that love and goodwill in my first paragraph, because now I am about to hate on you for how damn great you look. Betch.
Posted by: Robyn | July 24, 2008 at 09:16 PM
Are you pregnant?
Dude. You almost crashed my blog. There were so many people on it that there was almost no room for me. Anymore. Thank You. :}
Posted by: Backpacking Dad | July 24, 2008 at 09:29 PM
It's your body, your baby, your choice.
It doesn't matter how I or anybody else feels about c-sections. Besides, you've done your research - you know the facts, and you're making the best possible informed decision considering all the circumstances. Good for you, I say.
Posted by: Nina | July 24, 2008 at 09:51 PM
After birthing a monstrous baby in my fist delivery (Suction, Forceps, 4th degree tear, OH MY!), We opted to have the next two delivered 10 days early via induction.
Fast labour, no stitches, two pushes.
People still judge and whatnot...
You just do what is right for you, and ignore the haters. They can suck it.
Posted by: Angella | July 24, 2008 at 09:59 PM
Amy, don't apologize for scheduling a C section. To look at my hips, I look like I could deliver a mack truck. It's the inside that matters.
I posted my own second pregnancy fun this week, since he just turned nine. Amazing what happens to get them here!
Posted by: Suzanne | July 24, 2008 at 10:10 PM
You look great! I can't wait to "meet" baby #2...no matter how s/he evacuates from your uterus.
Posted by: Catherine | July 24, 2008 at 10:12 PM
I did the Full Monty of vaginal birth 15 years ago. It ain't all that.
My SIL had one of each & her recovery time for the c section was much easier than the vaginal birth which was HELL on her, much like it sounds like it would be for you. (Oh god, everyone's got a story to share about child birth, don't they?)
Posted by: kalisa | July 24, 2008 at 10:27 PM
Ditto whoever above supported you in making your own decision re: the birth via c-section. I only wonder why (since me = no babies) why it would be scheduled one week before your due date? I'm confuzzled about that.
PS: You're so damn cute!
Posted by: Suzy Q | July 24, 2008 at 11:04 PM
I had two pretty easy natural VBACs and then for my third an emergency c-section.
I have to say that the c-section was no less special than the others, and the recovery was not much worse than my second VBAC. The only hard part was having to be hooked up after birth. It was wonderful on my second to not have that.
Good for you for being so honest with yourself about what you want. If I were you, I would probably make the same choice. I think every body is different, every baby is different, and there is no one best way to have a baby.
Posted by: raehan | July 24, 2008 at 11:12 PM
My boys are 9 and 11 now....and I still remember the hours and hours and hours (okay, it turned into more than a day, if you must know) of induced labor followed by - and I'm sure you all expect this by now - an emergency c-section. Turns out that just because I look like I have good 'birthin hips', yeah, not so much. So my OB measured the second one at 7 months, and he was already too big.....I had a little party in my car on the way home :) complete with singing "I'm having a c-section...no labor for me-e-e!" Both of my boys were almost ten pounds, and are still gonzo healthy and, yes, still the tallest in their class. So, go for the healthy baby option, you can't lose.
Totally cute tummy, Amy.
Posted by: Frances | July 24, 2008 at 11:18 PM
Congratulations on the upcoming delivery and the clarity to bring the baby here safely!
When I was pregnant everyone kept asking us about 'birth plans' and I was all 'when I feel something, I'll do something" because how was I to know how this whole thing would shake out. In the end, there was pitocin and there were drugs and very little pushing once the nether regions finally gave way, but, as you and all the other sane women know, none of that mattered the minute my kid was in my arms. He was safe. He was breathing. And so were we.
Posted by: Kim | July 24, 2008 at 11:29 PM
First of all, your belly is so cute it is ridiculous.
Secondly, I'm dealing with coming to terms with my own defiance of a "needlessly risky choice I'd be making for probably the wrong reason" . . . namely switching from breast to bottle.
I know you've been there, so I won't go on at length, but as you know, with all things baby-related, you have to decide what is best for your baby and your family.
Mad props to you for owning that decision.
Posted by: Lindsay | July 24, 2008 at 11:36 PM
Oh, girlie, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. There's so much hub-bub surrouding this topic, that after my own emergency c-section I was so freaked out the first question at my 6 week post partum checkup was "Can I do VBAC next time?" Now I'm totally thinking I'll go scheduled c-section (not pregnant, just a crazy worrier/planner.) All I'll say is it's a decision for you and your doctor. Full stop. And you look fabulous!
Posted by: pooks | July 24, 2008 at 11:48 PM