Hair Today


Well. THAT sure was some damn first-trimester hair, no? Something definitely...deflatey...happened to it in between my last-minute fluff-job in the bathroom upstairs and sitting down at the judges' table.

But! My arms looked pretty skinny, AND they spelled my website's name correctly in the closed captioning. Success! Two thumbs up! Fine holiday fun. Now let us never speak of this again.

Well, AFTER I talk about it just a little more, because really, what the hell else do I have to talk about, short of continuing my Grand Tradition of posting about something really gross and personal and embarrassing right in the wake of some kind of major media exposure? (Hey! Once the Throwdown buzz dies down remind me to tell you about the time I almost rushed myself to Labor & Delivery because of a hemorrhoid! The time called "Tuesday!")

1) Despite the fact that I honestly really know NO ONE and have NO FRIENDS and haven't gotten a haircut since JANUARY because I have NO FRIENDS who can watch my spawn for a few hours and I never GO ANYWHERE ANYWAY, pretty much every single person who got a soundbite on the show is a friend of ours. I feel so CONNECTED. I should get on MYSPACE. Or at least log in to my LinkedIn profile occasionally in, or whatever I'm supposed to do there.

2) Speaking of My Awesome Friends, Danny (the guy in a suit who ripped Bobby's one-note mussels a new asshole) (I assume mussels have assholes? whatever, I'm a fucking expert on them now) also had this to say about Bobby's fries: "They're like taking a beautiful woman out on a date, only to discover that she's dumb." Sadly, that ended up on the cutting room floor. Also, I love that guy.

3) Being surrounded by friends who were also horrified at the sight of their faces all up there in high-definition made the viewing experience much easier. Generous sips of Jason's beer also helped, as did the fact that Jason's beer (I would later learn) was about 10% alcohol by volume. Um. Oops?

4) It was after a few generous sips of this beer that I ended up talking to a reporter for a local newspaper. Oh. Yes. THAT'S JUST GOING TO BE GREAT FOR EVERYBODY.

5) I don't remember tossing my hands up like that at any point during the judging. Was I trying Wrestling with the complicated concept of "Dish A" and "Dish B?"  Signaling my inability to say a sentence without using the word "really" multiple times?

6) Anyone who knows me in real life could easily recognize my Lying Face during the announcement of the Throwdown winner. Wow! This was really close! Really tough decision! Both dishes were amazing! Lying liar! It's not that Bobby's version was terrible -- it really WAS spicy and I DO love spicy -- but Teddy's was...way, way, really, really better. Way and really. While Bobby talked about using the same cultivated P.E.I. mussels as Teddy uses, something must've gone awry between the sourcing for the test kitchen segment and the actual Throwdown, because Bobby's mussels were small and stringy and NOTHING like the rope-grown pats o' butter that were in Teddy's version.

7) But before I sound like I know what I'm talking about TOO MUCH, how totally awesome was it that the show demonstrated (TWICE) the "proper" way to eat mussels, using the shell. You know, so everybody got to see that, except for the judges, who were sequestered upstairs and missed it. And thus used forks. Maybe next time I can judge a sushi competition and request those chopsticks with the training wheels on them. Or a spork.

8) Teddy Folkman reads Amalah! He doesn't have a kid or ever want one, thanks to reading this site, but thinks it's very funny. I do what I can for population control, people, including a dramatic retelling of my labor and birth story for two non-moms, one of whom I had just met five minutes before and was all "THERE WAS MECONIUM IN THE FLUID, WOULD YOU LIKE SOME OF MY FRIES?"

9) Shout-outs to all the other Amalah readers I met last night, who were of course just as lovely as can be. I was as graceful and tactful as ever, what with the announcing that "Hey! I have that shirt! I love that shirt!" and stopping myself (BY MERE INCHES) from grabbing at a total stranger's boob region. And this was before the beer sips, so...yeah. Blogher is going to rock, and I'm sure I'll make tons of new friends and land a guest spot on the new TV show "What Not to Wear, Say or Do Ever: America's Next Top Socially Awkward Compulsive Oversharer."

10) Also the serious documentary "10 Full Items: Life & List-Making With OCD."



I loved the show, and thought you and Jason were adorable. You guys did a great job. But ... blue cheese and bacon compared with coconut milk? No contest. I'm thinking about taking a trip to DC just for those fromage blue lovelies.


Chopsticks come with training wheels? Seriously? I need me a pair of those.


Waah. Couldn't find the show.
But I do love reading about your exploits.
Now I am going to make my own mussels for lunch. Thanks for the inspiration.


I stayed up past my usual 9:00pm bedtime to check out this episode. You did great--from your posts I was afraid for you but you came off as authoritative and knowledgeable. I didn't even notice the fork thing....


I caught the replay of the show. Loved it. Loved it! I was amused, and laughing the whole time about all the nice things you had to say... knowing that you *had* to say only nice things.

Which, by the way? They give that show waaaay to much of an objective slant for how... uh... nonobjective it is. Maybe the need a new MO.


Oh! And I was delighted to see they didn't actually *show* Bobby rolling his eyes at you. He has good editors. (Because really, was a fan of Bobby until I read that snippet. I mean... how... uppity can you get?)


You are way too hard on yourself... you were absolutely adorable. And you and Jason were too cute for words - watching you conferring it was obvious that you're an awesome couple.

I am a dork - but I loved every minute of Amalah on TV (and in HD too!!) You guys rocked that.

I told my husband that you were pregnant when shooting that, and he was shocked: "No way - she's tiny!" And then after a moment: "Mussels? Pregnant? That sucks." The man, he is brilliant.


I watched it with my husband and I was like, "I KNOW HER!!!! Well....not really, but I sort of feel like I do." And I thought you looked great. :)

The Muse

I rushed home from my dance class to grab a shower and curl up on the couch to watch this. I was "squeeing" and laughing and pointing at the TV, even though no one else was there to watch it with my, except Twitter.

You guys are so cute!


"Success! Two thumbs up! Fine holiday fun"

I like your little reference to "Clueless" there, though I'm not sure if that was intentional, either way, Awesome.


Ok I confess I had the episode on mute most of the time (Bobby Flay's voice and basically everything about his cocky self drives me nuts) but I watched it just to see you and your hair and I thought you looked pretty darn good! My husband sat down to watch when I un-muted it (when you guys were on) and said "is that the Internet person?" Yes, yes honey, there is Amalah, the one and only "Internet person." As much as I hate Bobby, it was nice to have something to watch during these horrible summer tv months when Big Love SHOULD be on but isn't due to the damn strike.


Oh my God. My boobs have officially been mentioned on a blog. I am so on my way to Dancing With the Stars.


I've got the show on TiVo and haven't seen it yet, but I was 99.999999% sure who won (and was right) so I didn't care if you had any spoilers in this post. I love Throwdown and although I am one of the few who really loves Bobby Flay (even though people say he's an asshole, or cooks only one style of food, or is too arrogant, and they could be right), I also always root against him in the Throwdown. Unless the competitor is a total tool, like that guy from the donut throwdown. Anyway... can't wait to watch!



Someone Being Me

The segment was great. I am ready to hop on a plane and head to D.C. for some mussels and fries. My mouth is watering over here. And how adorable is Teddy? I want to put him in my pocket and bring him home with me. I'm sure my husband wouldn't mind with cooking skills like that.


I was at the taping, as well as watched last night. You were so right... Bobby's food was tasteless and that Teddy totally kicked his butt! (I am also slightly biased because Teddy is a friend of mine.)But anyway, great job.


I enjoyed watching last night. What a cool thing that you guys got to do. And I was happy that the local guy won. I kind of think the whole idea of Throwdown is seems like someone would be sad if Bobby beat you at your speciality. But then again, I am all about the feelings.

I thought your hair looked good and (hopefully, this doesn't come across mean....) that you looked just uncomfortable with the whole thing that we could be friends ;)


(Stephanie-- That donut guy was a total tool. Even the deliciousness of the donuts were not enough for me to want to watch that jerk again. (And I always root against Bobby, too.))

I kept thinking how you said the mussels were like butter -- so delicious and they took your plates away without letting you finish. And I felt really bad for your 1st trimester self because those mussels looked damn good. And I desperately want some.


It was great! You didn't look pregnant at all (I looked for a little pouch and saw nothing but flatness, my friend) and your hair was way better than mine on a GOOD day. I spent the whole time marvelling that you felt so sick because I never would have known.

Oh, and that was my first time seeing your face. Noah looks just like you!


You looked adorable! Two things though: 1) I totally saw your lying face when you said "hmmm, this is a really harc decision!" and 2) I was horrified to discover that I've been pronouncing your blog name wrong. Well, I've been saying it in my head wrong because I guess I don't really go around saying your name all that often. But I always thought it was ah-mah-lah. Opps!


Everyone in this house was commanded to go upstairs and be quiet because Amalah of the Internet was coming on tv. You and Jason are positively adorable and you handled yourselves so beautifully and professionally. I am so impressed with both of you! I never noticed the fork thing either...Well done!!!!


I made the BF watch the show with me and he now wants to make a trip to DC just for some of those mussels. Or at least eat some of those mussels next time we're in DC. As someone who is allergic to seafood, I'm a little less than excited about this, although those fries DO look damn tasty! :)


My favorite part? When you clapped your hands before you started judging.


That was so much fun to watch and you guys looked totally cute and authoritative at the same time! I still like to watch Bobby although I think he does come off a little snotty. I love Teddy though!! It was so fun to see someone who was genuinely excited to meet chef and I was so excited for him. I hope to make it to DC to try his moules frites!!


Like Jen.. i was also a little shocked that i say your blog name wrong (in my head!!) but then i convinced myself that the announcer guy just said it wrong..

and hello.. you didnt mention the RAW EGGS you ate!!!! but you drank beer.. so im pretty sure that cancels out the eggs! :)


links!!! please. coz i'm a) too spacey to remember to have dvr'd it last night, b) still that spacey to remember to think to watch it last night, and c) really busy at work today. that last one is mostly true. :)


I caught the episode purely by accident (just because I forgot it was on). I was upstairs lying down feeling ill because I am 7.5 weeks pregnant, and while flipping channels I saw that it was on! I suffered through it and really felt bad for you because watching mussels being eaten was hard enough to take but actually having to eat them? The way I felt last night? Blech. But you and Jason were great on the show!


Not only did I watch it, I DVRed it, then protected it! All about the Amalah love ova hyah!

Anyway, you and Jason were totally kick ass, and I loved your "hero" shot, especially when you said that you correct all the spelling errors on DC Foodies.

The Fromage Bleu Moules Frites looked absolutely delicious, and I was interested as to how the black truffle ailoi was with the frites. Seemed almost as if you all preferred Flay's fry dipping sauce. Yes? No? Just trying not to break his ego in half?


While I was watching, my husband came into the room and I told him who you were and he goes, "Oh, the deoderant fighting championship blogger?" Amy, you have achieved rock star status in my house when you are on my HUSBAND'S radar!


My DVR cut off the end of the show!!!


I suffer from the list OCD too... my friends laugh at me because when I get heated in my emails, I tend to make my point by falling into A, B, C format, complete with indentations and capitalizations and sometimes bolding.

I'm also a compulsive oversharer. TMI just flies out of my mouth with no censor whatsoever. Friends, coworkers, relative strangers, all at risk.


You should have seen my last minute panic when our back-assward cable tried to tell us we don't subscribe to the Food Network. Uhm... YES WE DO. *panic panic panic* Thankfully, we got it fixed before you made your shining entrance. And I may have squealed when I saw you. And, despite not knowing you that well, I did recognize Liar McLiarton at the unveiling of the winner. I think I may have even chortled.

Jill (CDJ)

I totally Tivo'd it and watched you last night. You were adorable!! And your husband? How cute is he!!??

So, now dish on Bobby Flay... I hear he's kind of a pompous ass....


My favorite part was when Jason was trying to be all serious about "making the tough decision" and cracked up. You guys are so cute.

Plus how fun that you knew most of the people who got soundbites! I loved that Danny guy too.


Wah. It did not air here in Canada. I will have to keep a look out for you.


I've been bugging my husband for months to make sure we caught YOUR show, and you guys were awesome!

And, I've never had mussels cooked that way, and I totally want some now!


Does anyone know if we can watch this show online? Sadly, we live in the dark ages and don't have cable or satellite. heavy sigh I want to see this episode! :)


Never in my life have I ever wanted a blue cheese and bacon mussel like I wanted one last night. Those looked heavenly. I live less than 30 miles away... I vow to try them before I die. You guys came off as pros - great job!

swirl girl

I saw the throw (up)-down...
If you were a bit erped during the tasting - it was not evident.

Just the thought of a)mussels and b) blue cheese and bacon on said mussels while pregnant made me throw up in my mouth a little...You held it together with admirable aplombe!

I now "know" several famous people...what a gas!


So you know this, but it bares repeating. I'm your friend, and I'll watch Noah whenever I can. All you have to do is ask. Maybe he can teach Michael it's ok to poop!


I can't believe I've been pronouncing Amalah wrong all this time. Well, it's not like I actually say it alot, but in my head it was "AIM-uh-lah" and you said it like "aim-AH-lah" or something, and it just goes to show that I don't understand those helpful phonetic doohickeys at all and I'm clearly an idiot. I wonder if I'm pronouncing my dog's name right

Kristy K

Loved it! We will be buying our own mussels and trying to recreate them this weekend, I think.

I personally enjoyed the "tough face" at the introduction. You are so tough!


Okay, I didn't even know we HAD that channel, but as I was flipping around on the tv while trying on one of the 100 pieces of maternity clothing you sent me (holy big boxes of stuff, woman!), I saw the word "Throwdown," which reminded me of "Smackdown," and then I looked and Behold! It's the D.C. with the mussels! And so that is how I ended up with a picture of you on my tv with me standing next to it wearing your clothes. Meta meta meta! Coming to a Flickr account near you...


You were both seriously adorable! And sounded extremely knowledgeable!

Jessica (aka Rose)

I need to be on that show... as you will undoubtedly discover at BlogHer.
Oh, and I looked and looked for the eye rolling, but they cut the whole "Curry" section... such a bummer!


I second what Kimba said. Also, I confess I fast forwarded through most of it till you came on. You DID look cute, and not at all PG.

Danny's words were choice - I was a little surprised they aired that.

I thought BF was kind of a sore loser. He seemed so nonplussed at the end, like the air was let out of him. But Teddy was gracious the whole way through.


You and Jason did a great job! Bobby Flay is more than a little annoying and the fact that he rolled his eyes is even more so. I thought you looked great, in fact when you walked out my first thought was "cute shirt."


I loved the show! It was really fun to see you two on TV. I thought you looked very good considering your first post and how awful you were feeling.
I thought it was funny that you got to talk more than Jason, the foodie! Im sure he had plenty to say but what do you do, the camera must have liked you better! heehe!


You guys were great! I did see a BF interview somewhere where he said that it is a little awkward for him when the local doesn't win the throwdown because they really are there to highlight great local chefs & their food.


Hey, I agree with the others who are looking for a link. Any one know where those of us who didn't see it can take a peek?



You can sing that "Bobby's mussels sucked" song as long and loud as you want, but we all saw you snuggled up right next to his tush in the closing credits. ;-)


Amy, you looked great on TV! How fun, to actually be a part of something like that. I don't even like mussels very much, but with the bleu cheese and bacon, I'd have to give them a try! Yum!


I watched you last night! I am now tempted to go try some of those blue cheese mussels even though I've always though mussels looked gross up until last night.


The commandment in my house last evening was, "DO NOT SPEAK TO ME until the commercials, mkay?" My husband and son both watched the show with me, and Son kept asking, "Is that your friend? Is that your friend?" for every person that came on the screen.

I thought you looked adorable. I thought Jason looked adorable. I thought the two of you conferring and laughing was adorable. I thought the mussels looked adorable. And the only thing more adorable than Teddy would have been if they could have gotten Noah on national TV singing "You are My Sunshine" or saying "Aball".

That is all.


I Tivo'd it and haven't watched it yet. I totally would have been there, but since I begged off of going with my coworkers to the Nats game ("It's too late for a school night!"), I didn't feel I could, in good conscience, show up at the showing.

But I'm glad it was fun! And please feel free to grab any part of me in the future if you ever have the opportunity -- you rock and it would make my day (in a non-creepy way, I swear).

And also? I have been reading for years even though I count myself among the childfree. Your site didn't drive me to the decision, I promise -- and my husband doesn't understand why I am such an avid reader of mommyblogs, when I don't want to be a mommy myself... but I really enjoy your (and Dooce's, and Chris-of-the-seven-kids') writing so much.


You and Jason were adorable! Hair was fabulous! I have never liked that Flay. Did anyone else pick-up on the bitterness..."biased crowd", repeated clips pointing out the proper pronunciation of "Moules Frites" (no s); followed by several clips of yummy chef's mispronunciation? Or is it my disdain for the man?


For everybody looking for a link...I don't think Food Network shows typically show up online, and I am way too dumb to figure out how to get the show off our TiVo and on to YouTube or anything.

We are supposed to get a DVD of the episode though...maybe I can do something with that. In the meantime, the episode will be rerun an infinite number of times, I'm sure. (We got home after midnight and turned on the TV and oh! Look at these two assholes on TV, talking about mussels again.)


You guys were awesome! And I totally have a huge crush on Teddy, now. I'm not usually a fan of mussels so I haven't tried them, but I can attest to the fact that the fries and black truffle aioli at Dr. Granville's are out of this world. And the beer selection is pretty incredible, too.


"Honey!! I KNOW her! She's my friend!"

"Oh, really? How do you know her?"

"urmm...through the internets. She has a blog. And I read it."



I thought you guys were great - loved the sneer, very impressive! I always love it when Bobby loses on his own show. He tries to look humble and all that but you can totally imagine him crying like a bitch every time.


I didn't see a single one of those things you were nervous about. Forks? Bad hair? Curry? What?

And I still want mussels after last night. Off to the store!


I loooooove mussels. Looooove them! Plus I was already amped to see you two on the show. But it did make me sad I didn't have any mussels. I will have to go there sometime soon. MMMM.


Wish I could have made it to the party thingy, being one of those local blog-reader types and also 19.5 weeks pregnant and much enjoying the calendar, but we had already made plans to go to the Mystics game that night with friends.

P.S. Now I don't feel so guilty about that sip of the wine I was cooking with. Ok, the two sips.


I just watched and I clapped when you guys came on!!! Even though I've seen dozens and dozens of pictures, I feel like I'm genuinely putting a face to website now! You guys were adorable!


Loved seeing you and Jason. We're Food Network junkies here (witness my pathetic blog entries about becoming a finalist for NFNS). I love seeing Throwdowns where Bobby gets SPANKED, so thank you for helping that end, lol.

Oh, and I called my best friend at 9:02 as I was leaving work and she didn't answer the phone, so as to not miss your appearance. :)


You looked great! I'm totally not trying to be all up your butt or anything because seriously? 1st trimester looks better than 200 pounds.

(I can't believe I just admitted that)

I had NO desire to ever even try mussels before last night. It was the bleu cheese and wine and lemon and....

Must. Have.

What do they taste like anyway? Are they slimy?


I caught the episode purely by accident (just because I forgot it was on). I was upstairs lying down feeling ill because I am 7.5 weeks pregnant, and while flipping channels I saw that it was on! I suffered through it and really felt bad for you because watching mussels being eaten was hard enough to take but actually having to eat them? The way I felt last night? Blech. But you and Jason were great on the show!


Okay, so I think Bobby Flay is a pompous ass, so I fast forwarded it until it got to your part. LOL Hope I didn't miss anything too exciting! You guys are super darling!!! Great job!


I watched and I learned.

I learned how to eat mussels (even though I've never had one...ever).

I learned how a regular cook owner can become a food network host with more flair than Bobby Flay.

I learned how to properly pronounce AMALAH! (I'd been saying A-Mah-La instead of...umm...however you said it :) )

Jen Vegas

Despite the fact that Flay is Public Enemy #1 in my house I totally made my husband watch you and Jason judge last night and I thought you both did a fantastic job! You were articulate and adorable. Both of you. And Teddy. And those deeelicious looking muscles.


I watched and I thought you and Jason were both very funny and charming. I almost watched twice because I wanted my husband to see too, but he didn't really care. Watching really made me want to eat mussels. Thanks for that...


My husband and I watched the show last night. Have to say we totally could NOT tell you were struggling w/the mussels--good acting! I'm 17 weeks pregnant, and Bobby Flay or not, there's no way, I could have eaten that w/out making a scene! Good work!


Couldn't find it on my t.v. here in the great white north aka Canadialand. Probably my ignorance is to blame. It sounded great, though! LOL

Katie Kat

Okay, but seriously, you guys were so adorable! I totally made my husband miss "Deadliest Catch" so he could see the girl that I keep telling him I WANT TO MOVE TO MY TOWN AND BE MY BEST FRIEND. He was very impressed you didn't urp.

I wish they would have let you give the review on TV that you did hear, cuz that shit's funny. Bobby always looks too smug and annoyed to me, plus he never tips the ninja bike messenger dude that brings him the challenge. Bad form.

Adorableness? Check.
Feigning interest in food? Check.
Not puking? Check.
Calling Bobby Flay on his overdone hoity toity foodstuffs? Check.
Tons of new fans to come? YOU BETCHA!

Now, go enjoy life before SUPA-FAME kicks in!

Katie Kat

P.S. for a really stupid typo:

I said: "I wish they would have let you give the review on TV that you did hear..."

Ummmm, yeah. It's spelled "here" in case you missed it.

Aaaaaaaand, as you were.


It was really fun to see you and the hubby - and to hear your speaking voice! Loved it.


I had to DVR your show last night - heh! Just watched it and you & Jason looked and did just GREAT! How fun!

I love DC and now I really want to head back out there for blue cheese mussels- YUM! A trip to our Columbia office may be in order!


I recently began reading your blog and instantly became a huge fan! It's witty and clever and hilarious. I even got my husband reading it. We watched your Throwdown episode, and it was so fun "knowing" someone on the show! I'm pregnant too, and when I was 10 weeks my hair and waistline looked much, much, much worse than yours. You're lovely. Also, kudos on eating mussels while pregnant. Brave.

Lady M

You and Jason were very convincing in the "tough decision" and it was a fun episode. I'll track you down at BlogHer to tell you that and you can say, "uh, yeah, you already said that, whoever you are."


Of course, I missed the episode. BOO!

But! Now I feel like I saw it after reading your hysterical re-cap! YAY!


Yay! I checked and it will be run again on this Saturday (in the US - sorry Canada), I think at 4pm.


It will air again on:
Jul 12, 2008 4:00 PM ET/PT
Aug 24, 2008 10:00 PM ET/PT
Aug 24, 2008 1:00 AM ET/PT

The food network site does offer a couple of Throwdown episodes online; I bet if we requested it they'd put your episode up there.


I thought you and your husband did a great job! I couldn't even tell that you were lying--except that I read your blog and had read that it wasn't even close.


By the way, since you don't Twitter- your friend Tracey said that mussels are "sea vaginas". I still love them.


after two years of lurking i think it's time for me to say "i freaking love you!" i too am an awkward oversharer and can totally relate. your honesty and humor is awesome.

Rachel in AK

You are hilarious. I love your blog. I had never watched "Throwdown" before, but dvr'd and watched your episode!


Great show! You and your husband were adorable! Coming out of lurkdom a second time to say I'm another fan who made it a point to tune in. Hubby wouldn't sit and watch (he was getting ready for a trip) but at least walked over to the tv when I hollered "There she is!" He pretended to be interested, bless his heart. You looked at ease and your hair looked fine to me. :)


You guys looked great on TV... your blog cracks me up all the way down here in Texas Y'all :)

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