Alone In My Paranoia (aka 24ish Weeks or Maybe 25)


So I should probably post a photo of my kid waving a little American flag or he's doing right now! complete with peanut-butter-and-jelly smeared all over his face, because we love America up right around here! But I am a little preoccupied with the growing ball of anxiety in mah belly (just north of the OTHER growing ball of something in mah belly), because we've been officially informed that our Throwdown with Bobby Flay episode is airing tomorrow night at 9 pm.

Well, it's not "our" episode or anything -- in fact, I am really hoping "our" airtime is kept to like, four minutes -- that honor really belongs to local chef Teddy Folkman of Granville Moore's. We were just the completely unqualified judges who probably gave the producer a splitting tension headache via our inability to get a sentence out on camera without saying "uhh" or "umm" or "I think I might vomit a little."

A few additional thoughts and disclaimers and things that bear repeating from my original telling of the tale, for anyone who chooses to watch:

1) While the whole point of the show is that the local chef has no idea that Bobby Flay is showing up to challenge them to a cook-off, they never tell you that (in our case, anyway) the judges have no idea either. We were asked to be part of a "panel" of "local food experts" for an episode of something called America Eats: Inside the Belt (AKA Who the Fuck Is Gonna Watch THAT, Anyway?). Jason initially planned to turn it down, because we are not local food experts, particularly when it comes to mussels, Granville Moore's specialty. I encouraged him to say yes (*HEADSMACK*) because come on! we a'gonna be on the teevee! Besides "panel" suggested that we could just stay mostly quiet and let other people talk.

2) By filming time, there were definitely a lot of rumors floating around that this America Eats business was cover for the Throwdown show, but no one knew for sure. We STILL didn't connect the dots, but instead assumed we were invited simply for room-filling purposes, so hooray! Even LESS of an opportunity to make asses of ourselves.

3) We found out that we were the fucking JUDGES about 10 minutes after Bobby Flay showed up and challenged Teddy to the Throwdown. We were ushered upstairs, alone, given a long list of things we needed to say on camera, told to pose for "hero shots" and introductions, and then offered some free beer.


5) We weren't allowed to watch the dishes being made, and were not really told the full list of ingredients. We were told to be as descriptive as possible about the food, without defaulting to words like "delicious" or "tasty." Bobby's broth reminded me of a Thai curry, so I called it a curry. Twice. It wasn't a curry, and apparently Bobby rolled his eyes at me each time I said that.

6) Pregnant pregnant pregnant pregnant pregnant. But not like, obviously oh-look-at-that-brave-little-trooper-trying-to-eat-mussels pregnant. Just sick and puffy and urpy pregnant.

7) As the dishes were presented to us, someone in the crowd screamed "THAT ONE SUCKS!" when Bobby's version hit the table. Not like the illusion of blind judging would have held up anyway, what with one dish being chock-full of chiles and spice and the other containing several ingredients that we immediately recognized from other mussel dishes at Granville Moore's. Still, I solemnly swear that the best dish actually won, and that while we were really only allowed to say positive stuff and "oh wow, this is tough and so close and blahity blah" wasn't really that close, and the winning dish won by a long, delicious shot, which is high praise because again...


Okay, I think that's all. This was not my finest, most whip-smart hour, is what I'm getting at. Also I'm pretty sure my hair looked like ass all day.

But! What's done is done, and it airs tomorrow night, and if you're a local-type you can come to a viewing party at Granville Moore's (1238 H Street, NE, a quick cab ride from Union Station). I will be there, looking ridiculously pregnant, cowering in a corner, attempting to get a contact high from any nearby glasses of wine.   



I'm just so excited to see it!! And I'll be drinking wine for you.


I hate watching myself on tv. Good luck... maybe you should stand near someone drinking something stronger than wine. I would opt for vodka.


Yikes! I would need lots of wine if I had to watch myself on TV. We're our own worst critics, so I'm sure you were great.


I was wondering if I missed it! Can't make it downtown (not unless y'all want some 1-yr old and 4-yr old interruptions), but will be having some wine for you at home. :)
And anyways, being there all obviously with baby belly should help the locals understand why you might've been a bit green during the taping/tasting.


I might have to catch it on the computer, cause I don't know if I can view it from way up North in Canada! But I am excited! I will also drink wine for you!


I was just commenting to my husband that this should be airing soon. I'm excited to watch!


Great, I've been watching for it! And let us know how trippy it is when you show Noah how Mama and Daddy are on tv and there in the living room at the same time. You'll have a hero status higher than a Wonder Pet!


I was wondering when it would air - I remember the original post and that's one of my favorite shows. Thanks for letting us know!


out of curiousity, the FoodNetwork website claims "chowder" to be airing tomorrow night @ 9:30. any idea what gives?


My mother has been asking me once a week, without fail, when it was going to air. I PROMISE SHE'LL POST IT ON THE INTERNET, I tell her. Once a week, without fail anyway. And now she doesn't pick up her phone.


Yeah, I, too, see that the episode listed for tomorrow is set in Brooklyn and is for chowder. Hmm.


Dude! I flippin' love Granville Moore's. LOVE. Especially all of the delicious, richly alcoholic beers. I totally feel for your pregnant self, because, no drinkee? Really? At Granville Moore's? Sad!

I'll definitely try to catch this on TV! But not the Bobby Flay part. He just seems *so* snarky!


Aw crap! I have plans tomorrow night. Otherwise I would have love to have gone to the viewing.


Fer - the chowder ep is a rerun, new episodes air at 9. (If you look at the full schedule grid online you'll see the back-to-back eps are on at 9 and 9:30 -- I know because I got confused too.) For some reason the Food Network likes to keep the title of new episodes a secret. No idea why.

So...uh, SPOILER ALERT! The secret ingredients are mussels and fries! Allez! Cuisine!

Wait, wrong show.


Allez Cuisine!!! Indeed. I have been wondering when you would have this info, consider yourself dvrrrd. I can't wait but might miss it while tending to the little one's, but I will drink something toxic for you as well if I can :)


Wine contact high? I know what I'm filling the bathtub with tonight!


Cool! Can't wait to watch -- it's fun to watch OTHER people humiliate (ok, maybe that's a strong word, maybe even too strong, but it's the best i can do right now) themselves. Usually I'm the one who shames herself. ;)


Well there it is...Reason #4578 why I shouldn't have moved out of the DC Metro area...


Officially Tivoed =)

Suzy Q

Woot! I didn't even finish reading this post before zooming over to my non-TiVo DVR (oh, how I miss you, Tivo!) to set it to Record in case I forget (a very real possibility). The title is...cue the music..."Mussels and Fries"! I know, you're surprised!

Hee. Can't wait to watch!

Someone Being Me

I can't wait to watch it. I have it all set to record on my DVR in case I need to rewind and rewatch.


I'll look for it! And I'll remember that you're not puffy but pregnant.


Ooh! Ooh! So excited to finally see the episode. I've been Tivo-ing every damn episode of this show since your original blog entry to make sure I didn't miss it. Very cool that it's Granville Moore's, which is in my 'hood. I ate moules frites (not on a Food Network show) at Belga Cafe at about 10 wks. pregnant (I'm about 4 weeks behind you), and while I normally love them, that did not end up being the best choice at that time, digestively speaking, so you are MAH HERO for slurping all of that down on NATIONAL TV, baby! Wish I could make it to the Granville Moore's screening party to stalk you in person (kidding! kidding!) but being around all that delicious Belgian beer while pregnant just depresses me too much. Have fun!


I don't think I will get to see it because even if it does get shown in Texas (?) I am a wierdo who only has free-to-air channels.
I did want to say though, how much I admire you for doing the show in the first place. I would have been all diva and "um, script please!" before doing such a crazy thing. But that is because I am petrified of cameras.


I can't wait!


What I'm really wishing I was reading right now was "I was pregnant. Bobby Flay rolled is arrogant jerk eyes, and I jammed my fork right through is spleen."

Sorry - can't stand the man.


I've had the entire new season set to record just to catch this episode.

I have to be in class.

And my dog ate my remote, so I can't watch anything that I've recorded.



Nice! I'll be sure to watch it...have fun at the party!


Oh my damnit! I would so be there if I wasn't going out of town today. Oh well, I will definitely be watching from my hotel room.


I am so excited! We love that show and I have so been waiting and watching for it since you first mention it! I get to point at the TV and tell my husband for the thousandth time that I know her...through her blog of course! :) Have fun at the party!

Melissa C

Ahh, I'm so excited! And I'm such a complete dork, that even though I am a frequent-reader but only infrequent-commenter, I just told my husband, "We have to watch Smackdown tomorrow night! My friend and her husband are the judges!" Squee - friendship by proxy! :)


Can't wait. My husband is a huge Bobby Flay fan and I had sent him your Throwdown story awhile back. I'm sure you were great!

Mrs. Schmitty

Look at it this way, your hair may have LOOKED like ass, but at least the food didn't TASTE like ass. That would have sucked, you being pregnant and all.

Gotta go set my DVR for the show!


I've also been scanning the Food Network listings and stopping every time I see the word "Throwdown". I'll be watching!


I set my DVR between reading the first and second paragraphs of this post.

Just saying.


As soon as I saw your post in Bloglines I remembered that last night I dreamt you had your own reality tv show. I can't remember much else except your hairs were really good. Diazepam may have played a part.


YAY!! Can't wait to watch!

Have been dying to see it since the 1st post.

Hope you all had an awesome holiday weekend! :)


So exciting! Try not to be nervous, or pick over how you looked! (because i bet your hair did NOT look like ass)

I live on the other side of the world, which means im not going to be able to tune in. But just remember... your a'gonna be on the teevee!



So exciting! Try not to be nervous, or pick over how you looked! (because i bet your hair did NOT look like ass)

I live on the other side of the world, which means im not going to be able to tune in. But just remember... your a'gonna be on the teevee!



I have to admit I'm not much of a Bobby Flay fan, but I've been stalking when the new Throwdown episode descriptions come up on my Tivo. When this showed up last week as being set in DC I was so excited to finally see your ep after reading about it forever ago. Even though I've never met you this is almost as cool as my friend getting her basement turned into a home theater on Carter Can. I can't even imagine trying to choke down mussels at 10 weeks pregnant, nevermind on TV so more power to you. I'm sure you did great and you'll both get like a million hits on Wednesday night. Have fun at the party!


Ooh I am excited and totally watching it!!!


you are so up in my tivo right now. and i DON'T watch myself on tv.

like peewee herman said (something like): i don't have to watch it, i lived it.


I just set up my DVR!


Very cool! I'll have to remember to watch that tomorrow night.

By the way, I was too late to comment on the post you wrote about going to BlogHer this year -- we live pretty close to each other, but I'll have to at least say hello when we're all the way out in San Fran. :)


I am totally recording it. Well, as soon as I figure out how to set the time, we're on!


Oh sure, your episode on at the same time as the finale of Hells Kitchen.

Think midnight, when the Throwdown regoes. Hmmm.

Thank god for pregnancy insomnia. lol.

Jessica (It's my life...)

Oh my! So excited I just Tivod it... just in case I might miss it or something. AS IF.
Ask me how many times I'm going to say that I read your blog as I'm watching the 1/2 hour episode! Ask me how much that is going to irritate my lovely husband!


Consider yourself TiVo'd


Sigh. Guess I'll have to wait until it comes to FoodTV Canada. Stupid Canadian networks.


Oh! I can't wait to see it! And I'm sure you'll be adorable.

You're totally not alone by the way...did you see this?


I have been waiting for this since you first said, and had my DVR set on a Throwdown series recording in case I missed it, I can't wait!


Awesome. I just set the DVR to record. I'm sure you were just lovely Amalah!


I found a pic of our beloved Amalah and her hubby judging the Throwdown! Hee!


Hrmmm...lets try that as a link instead. :)


i'm totally DVRing this.


My DVR says tonight's episode is a "Belgian specialty." I'm guessing that's the mussels . . . will be watching.


tee hee...I've never commented before but wanted to let you know that I'll be watching! I have actually never watched the food network, but can't let a fellow DC-area mom down. :)


OH MY GOODNESS, Throwdown is ON and I am so psyched to see you!

I'm officially obsessed with the hilarity of Amalah because I am reading the blog AND watching on TV.

Oh how embarrassing!


OH MY GOODNESS, Throwdown is ON and I am so psyched to see you!

I'm officially obsessed with the hilarity of Amalah because I am reading the blog AND watching on TV.

Oh how embarrassing!

Kris H.

I am watching the show RIGHT NOW!!! I haven't seen you yet, but I can't wait!!!


Hot Pockets druing the mussel show? CRIMINAL!


my iPhone alarm just let me know that Amalah is on tveree


I'm watching now also. And, I now want mussels and fries.


"Whoooaaaaa!" For a second I thought I was watching Married with Children.

Shannon Nelson

Girl, holy crap! Just saw someone on Twitter say you were on TV and there the frig you are! Congrats!


OMG! Watching Throwdown - from the videos you've posted of Noah, he could be Jason's TWIN. Except... you know... born, like, 20-30-something years later... nevermind.


Your voice! I expected something else... more girly and high pitched? But you sound like a grown-up... I don't know what the heck that means.

BTW, very funny about the spelling mistakes. Hee hee.

But you are very pretty and very Queen of Everything-esque!


DUDE! I am delurking (I think) to tell you that I am watching the Throwdown episode RIGHT NOW! I totally thought I would have to comment about this on a different post, not realizing that you would actually blog about it. doh! Anyway, you look totally cute and the way Jason rolls his eyes is PRICELESS. Sorry for the all caps, I've had a couple beers and I'm feeling STRONG. But not so strong, because they were only Corona's... sigh.

Kris H.

You guys ROCKED!!! You TOTALLY made the show!!!


OK, it's official. You guys are adorable!


You = excellent.
That is all.


Great job on Throwdown! Tuned in right and the end -- just in time to catch you and Jason. Saw you standing right next to Bobby at the end there. Where was Jason?! ;)


Oh yeah, and by the way, you looked soooo puffy.




Delurking to say you and Jason are a super cute couple, and I loved your top. You guys did a great job!


Great show! Now I want mussels. Mmm.


You were SO CUTE!!! You absolutely made the show, but I did notice that there was no mention of curry. Congrats!


Great show! Now I want mussels. Mmm.


Long-time reader delurking to say I SAW YOU ON TV! I feel like I know a famous person or something. I was watching with my roommates and started spouting off info...I was all like, "Yeah, the female judge was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and felt like she was going to throw-up everywhere and she has a son named Noah..." They looked at me like I was a crazy stalker.

Thanks for alienating me from what social life I had left. ;-)

You guys seemed to know what you were talking about so great job!!


I'm so glad I read this post at 9:26!! I had just enough time to run into the other room, turn on the TV as the "expert judges" were seated!! Hooray for timing! You didn't look like you were going to throw up at all! :)


I just watched Throwdown! with hubby. You looked great. I'm due when you are, and I looked way LESS hot when I was 10 weeks along. But you look so...innocent. I told hubby you are the blogger with the dirty mouth...LOL...and he couldn't believe someone so sweet looking could use such language! :) Great show...and great blog!!!


Ok, I SCREAMED when I saw's like seeing my best friend on TV! My boyfriend actually left the room because he said he couldn't deal with my excitement overload!

You looked great and did a lovely job trying to talk about the food without defaulting to "delicious" and "holy crap that's good." But knowing how you felt about the whole thing really added something to the viewing experience.

Oh, and OBVIOUSLY the local chef won...bleu cheese and bacon vs. peppers? No contest! You FAIL Bobby Flay!


You guys were great! Yay Amy!!!


You didn't look even remotely nauseous! Totally awesome. Yay you!

Also, I am not a big fan of mussels or blue cheese, but I have to admit that the winning dish looked damn good. May have to make a trek to D.C. soon just to try it.


I'm a total lurker, but I just have to say that I just watched you on TV! You both looked great! If you really were as incoherent and babbly as you said, then they did an excellent job of editing you to make you seem smart and knowledgeable.


Daily reader, infrequent commenter, just wanted to stop by and say how WEIRD and also AWESOME it is to have read this site for so long and only just heard what your voice soounds like tonight! The show was great, your hair didn't look like ass at all, and you and Jason make an adorable couple. Congrats on all your success, you deserve it. :)


Just finished watching Throwdown -- so cool knowing the behind-the-scenes scoop! I told my husband and 9-yr-old Wannabe Chef son your admission that the challenge wasn't all that close. ha! Even on the TV screen, we all thought both the house fries and bleu cheese mussels looked waaaaay better. (What I wouldn't give to try that right now...)

What is up with all B.F.'s chipotle and chile ALL THE TIME, anyway? It's like watching Elmo's World, when the tv channel comes on and it's all about ONE TOPIC, ya know? "Chile, chile, chile..." Move on, Bobby!!

You did great. What fun!!


Great job! It was especially neat to watch having read the behind the scenes info. You looked great too! :)


Just watched it! You're a total rock star!

Sprite's Keeper

All right, Amy! Hopefully, this is the beginning of your 15 minutes!(Was watching for bump, could not see Baby Tivo at all and you did not look close to hurling, so either the camera shots were well edited or you're a great actress!)

Suzy Q

You and Jason are TOO FREAKING CUTE!! You both looked adorable! I would have picked Bobby's mussels, though, because bleu cheese? Yuck.


Uh so repeating what everyone else said because i can:

1. wildly coherent
2. not babbly
3. hair looks lovely
4. top is cute
5. you two are cute

congrats! good job!

Also, holy shit! You were on TV!


I saw you guys! You and Jason are the cutest couple! Loves it. :)

It's funny. When you were all "It was a tough decision" I was like LIAR! I KNOW THE TRUTH!

You guys did great!


Totally TiVo'd it and you were/are ADORABLE. SHUT UP.

(Also totally laughed at you're "This was way harder than I thought it would be" HA HA HA. LIES)


I totally watched in anticipation like a friend was going to be on TV. You did a great job, looked great, and your acting skills were superb.

Dawn B

You did superb!! You would have never known that you were sick to your stomach at that time.
You should seriously consider acting. lol
And now...I MUST travel to DC for some mussels and fries!!!!!!!

jen in austin

I totally DVR'ed you and just watched it... you were NOT spastic at all, at least not as spastic as the time you hugged Alan Cummings at the Hotel San Jose while I waited innocently at our cocktail-covered table. heh. you guys were both fabulous! and I'm so jealous! I think my favorite part was the cheesy-ass mugging during the introductions.


I've been reading the blog for awhile and am finally coming out of hiding to say that I watched Bobby Flay today - you looked great and totally sounded like you knew what you were talking about :) Great job!


You looked lovely, Amalah! What were you worried about? Jason looked good too. And good for you for picking Teddy's mussells. I love blue cheese and bacon too. And Bobby Flay will always be the doody head that stood on his cutting board in Japan.


You guys are so cute! I can't believe you were newly pregnant and morning sickness-y. You looked and sounded great!

Morgan S.

YAY! That is so cool! You looked and sounded great. I liked your husbands festive jacket. I was just wondering the other day if Bobby really surprised the challengers or not, too! Super fun. Thanks for blogging about it!

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