Where the Sap Flows Like Wine

All This & More, Thanks to the Wonder of Technology

Some of the hideous post ideas I started and trashed yesterday:

"My kitchen sink is drip...drip...dripping and aaaaaahhhhhhhhhstopit!"

"Dear Dog and Cat: How do manage to time your vomiting TO THE EXACT MINUTE we run out of paper towels?"

"Yeah, so I WANT to write another installment in the Deodorant Wars, but I've been struggling to come up with a plot line for my new stick of Dove Clinical Protection. Who IS she, as a character? What's her MOTIVATION?"

Then I was all: cop-out time! Noah photo! Belly photo!  But then all the camera batteries were all simultaneously dead. Simultaneously and AT THE SAME TIME EVEN. Clearly, the blogging gods were against me, determined that I should keep at least a few damn thoughts to my own damn self. This was, judging by the above examples, probably for the best.

I don't really have much else to say today, other than to issue a warning to anyone in the DC area: hey! You know what's a bad idea? Like, a really, really bad idea? Blindly following your GPS, even when it's telling you to turn left onto a one-way, do-not-enter street that happens to be oh, directly in front of the PENTAGON.

Luckily, the cops let us off with a warning. "Try not to drive into any lakes next time, okay?"

Sigh. I've really got nothing today, except for the crushing need for my 27th burrito of the week. Take me to Chipotle, GPS!  I can no longer find my way out of a paper bag, thanks to you.

Here. This is video of my kid screeching into my laptop's built-in camera for five straight unbearable minutes. Special cameo by my chins and belly.

Hams from amalah on Vimeo.


Jill (CDJ)

A screech only a mother could love!!


Hate the GPS,LOVE the Noah giggles. They are contagious and now the person in the office next door thinks I am nuts.


The face plants he keeps doing are sooo cute!

And I, for one, have been waiting on the edge of my seat for a new episode in the Deodorant Wars saga. Bring it.


While it is one of my favorite cities, I HATE driving in DC.

The way it is laid out is just crazy.

I swear that when they were laying out the city they designed it to read "George Washington looks WAY hot in tight breeches!" from the air.

(They should stick that in National Treasure 3. I'm just sayin'...)


One of my favorite all time scenes from The Office. My MIL still uses GPS to get to her house to mine after four years, even when I am in the car.

My son ran over to join in the screech fest on the computer. Noah is so grown up!


At least once today I will laugh like Noah laughed.


I am very excited for the next installment of Deodorant wars. And sad that I have to wait until I get home to watch the video. My work has deemed Noah "unsafe and unsuitable". hee hee


I nearly choked from laughing so hard about the GPS thing. DANGER WILL ROBINSON!
House of Jules

Mr Lady

Oooo Oooo Oooo! i've got your faucet post!

10:15, on a Saturday night,
and the tap drips under the streetlight.
And I'm crying in the kitchen sink..........and the tap drips, dripdripdripdripdripdrip.

Ok, so maybe the Cure had your post. And maybe I'm too old to still listen to remember all the words to a Cure song, but still. It would would as post framework, right? Right???

Now excuse my while I put some black lipstick on and do my bangs.


The screechings of your adorable son brought my dog (who looks remarkably like Ciba) running into the room to check on me. Even now after it's ended her ears are still propped up :)

I agree with the GPS thing though, just another way we humans don't have to think. OH JOY! :D


I hear the rice from Chipotle is potentially deadly! (Kidding, I got that from the Mike O'Meara Show).

The GPS thing was great...remind me to tell you the story of my friend (Canadian) and her family whose *DC cabbie* did the same damn thing.


Some friends have a GPS and decided to use it to get home, you know just to try it out. The GPS directed them to drive off a cliff.


I hear you about the cravings. I wanted hot sauce morning, noon, and night, to the point where I should have named my daughter "Tabasco"!


O he is just SOOOOOO unbelievably adorable!


You guys are too funny. And the kid? Unbearably cute.


My son thinks your son is like the zoo. LOL. I don't think it's a bad thing since we had to watch him 4 times in a row. So tell Noah there's a little boy in NH that thinks he's fabulous!


Burrito? I could go for a burrito.. You buyin'? :-)


What is it about an unbearably cute kid laughing that makes it impossible to do anything else but laugh or smile too?


LOVE!!! that video of Noah!!!
It is so cute how he just can't get enough of himself!!!

2, almost 3, is SO MUCH FUN!


He finds himself so charming. And THAT is charming.


That was ADORABLE! I watched the entire thing with a smile on my face. See?---> :D


1) That video will come back to haunt him on his high school graduation. I feel it.

2) I use the Dove Clinical Strength. I like it. A lot. It smells so nice and powdery fresh. Oh. And it works.


Man your kid is cute. Also - I love that bit from the office. I'm happy I don't know how to drive because I would end up in many a lake. Oh man would I ever.


I have a new one for you for the Deodorant Wars - Secret's Vanilla Chai. Find it. Wear it. Revel in the tasty smell of your pits, while you walk around looking like a Superstar!

P.S. I twitch a little every time I drive past the Pentagon, the CIA and FBI buildings. Someone once told me not to look, because they'll take down your license plate and Big Brother you. I'm sure that's bogus, but still... I won't look.


Burrito Schmurrito.

Yes, I just said that.

I just succumbed to a major Arby's craving. And yes,it was gooooood.

(And I actually justified to myself that it wasn't THAT bad, because I didn't get fries or a soda. HAH!)


He is so cute!! and you are too :)

hey so I did a similar thing to your deodarant wars on my blog the other day, I gave you credit though for using bathroom supplies as characters! ha ha, if you have time check it out



i love the "you are my sunshine" rendition, esp noah faking the words in the middle but making sure to do a BIG FINISH at the end! too cute.

Barbara B

I worry because my son is in the 5% for height. I worry because he isn't talking enough. I worry because he seems to have an inappropriate love of my feet.

But then I come here, and I see how wonderful Noah is and I think to myself. If I can only be as good of a mother as Amalah then everything will be OK.

I particularly loved the stirring rendition of You are my Sunshine.

Sensibly Sassy

damn it now I want chipotle!


If KayTar and Noah ever had a playdate, I cannot imagine the decibels of their shriekitude.

He's adorable.


You look entirely too put together for a SAHM in that video. If it was me, I would be rocking the ponytail and no makeup. Shame on me, but good for you!


Noah is a little sunshine.

And GPS can be evil, but I just can't quit it.


Suddenly, it no longer matters how bad a day I had at work!! Seeing & Hearing Noah just made the whole day better!!!!
Thanks Amy!!!

"Baby brother kicking" -- too cute!!


I totally didn't realize until the car ran into the lake that the first video was from The Office. I'm such a dork!

You should UTube the one of Noah. It would turn into one of those viral thingies like that baby giggling.



Noah is the most adorable veloca-raptor i've ever seen.


worlds cutest laugh

Undomestic Diva

And now you know what to get him for his next birthday.


Oh my! The dimples are adorable! And I love the laugh and singing. Perfect for a Friday. :)

Backpacking Dad

Well, my wife must have taken my balls to work with her today because I couldn't resist clicking on the video to see a screeching kid.

And my daughter ran over to point, yell, laugh, and shout "ba-beee!!" over and over again. And when he said "Signing Time" she started doing her sign for it (with which she demands the show be started immediately) and doing her little "Signing Time" dance, an agitated sway from foot to foot. And when he started singing "You are my sunshine" I could hear the gears in her head seize up in total internet baby love.

Alex who? I'm going to teach her the sign for Noah.


more belly shots! Okay, I know that sounds weird, but you look totally cute!


Noah is so adorable!! I change the words to Sunshine so it's "you'll always know, dear, how much I love you" :)


Are you used to Noah's shorter hair yet? I really like it. He looks OLDER!


Ok The Office video was funny, but the other video was THE BEST. Ah, its the little things for kids, ya know? He is adorable and reminds me why I can't do that with my son, or he would sit here at the computer with me ALL THE TIME. hehe...

OH and I wanted to ask you~ have you heard anyone say anything about his "vampire teeth" (I know that's not the technical word ;) )but I have them, and my sister doesn't, but my niece has them now, and my son does too. I never really noticed that some kids DON'T have them, but my sister said she had NO idea where my niece got hers from until she noticed that I had them. Is that strange? Ok whatever, I'm weird. :P


The "wow" at about 1:49 totally made my day. :)

manager mom

Can I come to Chipotle and shit?We just should not eat jalapenos.

crazy in alabama

So cute! I'm pregnant now and watching that made me cry, because I see how you look at him. You can just see the love and I can't wait to have that.

Robin @ Party of Five

Dude, you can't be ON all the time. It gives all of us pleebs a chance to get bloggy ction as well.

Dig it though ;-b


Kids who crack themselves up crack me up. Although the screeches at the beginning scared my cats. Nice job, Noah. That'll keep me laughing all day. Because I'm evil.


Dude, you are making me want a good burrito. Hard to find in Philly. And also? I'm going to come back and watch that video whenever I feel sad because OMG so awesome to hear the laughing.


What chins? I see no multiple chins!!!!


We have TOTALLY done that exact thing. Coming back from Alexandria, I was navigating and, shall we say, slightly tipsy and it was 1 in the morning and we ended up in the parking lot at the pentagon instead of on the bridge.

So. Just so you know, it's not just you.


eh, we did the whole turn into the jersey-walled-off street by the Pentagon that the Garmon lady was sure was open for thru-traffic. Thankfully no cops came out, but we also did that in January. Didn't realize those databases still hadn't been updated!

Big Pumpkin

I don't mean to be a wet blanket but the Chinese have a superstition that when your sink leaks, money will flow out of your pockets. So get that sink fixed quick!

Jenny, Bloggess

There is a chipotle 53 steps away from my desk at work. I go there every. damn. day. It's kind of embarrassing. I don't even order. I just give the burrito maker my shame face and she makes me the usual. The other day I changed it up a little and they totally got mad at me and the cashier lady was all "Are you sick?!"

I don't know why I'm telling you this.


The vid of the kid was great. I wish mine was so easily entertained now. Oh wel, time passes.

They should make industry specific GPSs that are paid for by advertising. Need a burrito? Pull out the Taco Bell GPS. Cereal? Get out the Tony the Tiger GPS.

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