It's Like Preschool In Real Life
Note To Self: Start Talking Up "State Schools" in a BIG WAY

With Friends Like These

Let me tell you something about Sweetney. Okay, a few things. You know how I am.

Internet friendships get a bad rap sometimes. They burn fast and bright, but are ultimately, kind of disposable, if you want them to be. Someone can be your bestest friend that you've ever bested one day -- and then suddenly it's been six months since you emailed them and Jesus, you can't just email them NOW because what are you going to say you've been DOING for the past six months? They read your blog. They know your email has probably been working at least 50% of that time and YOU SPECIFICALLY TWITTERED THAT YOU WERE DOING EXACTLY DIDDLY SQUAT ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS so you can't even be like, "Oh, GEE, I've just been so busy! What with! And the...thing. With the place."

And it's not like you're mad at them or stopped caring or reading their blog or's just flat-out easier to neglect friendships based around the Verdana typeface. Particularly if you have the attention span of a gnat.

...look! I bought a new fruit basket at Target. It's just like the other fruit basket we have, except oval instead of round which will be better for bananas and...

Right. I may mostly only be talking about myself here, and my horrific flame-out track record with keeping in touch with Internet friends.

And then there's Sweetney. You know...we FIGHT. We've actually gotten FUCKING PISSED OFF AS ALL HELL at each other. We've both looked at the other person and informed her that dude, you are being a ridiculous jackass here, knock it off. And then the other person is like, yeah, you're right, I know.  And we never, ever fail to make up, hug it out, lay down some sappy sentences over email to thank the other person for both 100%  having our back and 100% not putting up with our shit.

And that's what makes it, honestly, one of the healthiest and most normal friendships I've made out here on the ol' series of tubes.

All this is to say, of course, that Sweetney scares the crap out of me and after trying to ignore her subtle and not-so-subtle hints about a baby shower ("A shower for a second baby?" I'd say, clutching my pearls and smoothing my gingham apron, "That's just NOT DONE, you know." And then she'd be all, "Fuck that! Fuck the rules! Let's have a baby shower and worship SATAN!"), she finally threatened to come to my house and yell at me in person if I didn't comply and offer up a registry.

And I don't want her to come to my house. The last time she was here we drank three bottles of wine and I fell off the couch.

So fine, she's throwing me a baby shower. For both Internet friends AND real-life friends AND really, anyone in the MD/DC/VA area who would like to come to the Sleep is for the Weak book signing on September 27th at Vinoteca in Washington, DC. She's hijacked the event for her own purpose. Which is: WITTLE ITTY BITTY CUTIE PRESHUS BAYBEEEE THINGS. She's got all the details on her site -- I'm posting about it here because she ordered me to, and again. The yelling. I fear it.

>>The Amalah Baby Shower Extravaganza 2008<<

(That would be the link, since I know my stylesheet doesn't underline links and make them super-prominent or anything. You don't have to click if you don't want to. I'm just like, you know, whatever, baby gifts, no baby gifts, totally not expecting anything from anyone, oh God, this is embarassing, I bet Tracey did this JUST TO WITNESS THE DELICIOUS AWKWARD on my part. That whore.)

(Also, because Miss Manners is indeed one of those Imaginary Authority Figures whose rebuke I also fear mightily, let me say that the "registry" is really an Amazon wish list that Jason and I were mostly using as a shopping list for our own purposes, and up until a week ago it contained exactly four items. Then Tracey was all, dude, come ON, so that's how it went from containing the Ergo carrier and a box of diaper sacks to "Well, GEE, if you're buying lunch, I'll have a double turkey sandwich on rye, a large knockwurt, three bags of potato chips, a chocolate milk and two beers. You want one? Three beers.")

(Are you getting the sense that I do pretty much whatever Tracey tells me to do? Hmm. Perhaps "healthiest" is not the word for this friendship. However, I really do want some extra-cute socks for the baby.)

(Anyway, if you are local and will be around on September 27th, we would totally love and appreciate it if you came to the little book event thing. [Click here for the eVite.] You SO. DO. NOT. need to bring a baby gift -- just your lovely, fabulous-smelling presence will be enough, since I have this image of Tracey, Rita and I sitting there with the books and sad little Sharpie pens all by ourselves, and THEY can at least drink wine to cope with the mortification.)

(I will also be as big as a motherfucking brick house by then. You should come see, just for the freak SPECTACLE of the thing. Behold! The world's rolliest pregnant woman! Who continues to walk upright! The human Jenga tower! Smelling salts will be provided for our sensitive patrons!)


shelly b.

:) Just wanted to say hi.


EEEEKKKK. I jump at any chance to touch itty baby things.


If I wasn't a whole continent (and country!) away, I would SO BE THERE.

I already have a signed copy of the book, but I could get you guys to sign my chest or something.


I so wich I was going to be in the area.

Of course you will be as big as a brick house, that's what happens when you grow 11+lb. babies, right? :-)

I think a second shower is okay for second babies. It isn't as if you had Noah last year. Three years is a long time.


Amy: I was interested in the book and had to search around on Sweetney's site to find a link- It looks great! Set up a link and show it off! Have fun at the shower.


ohhh so wish I could come, but being that I am up in Canada and kinda far away, I will sadly have to pass. But pictures of the event would be appreciated!

happy baby shower :)


Ah! Can't you, I don't know, change the date to October 11th since that is when my lovely family will be traveling to DC to visit IL's? Please? No? Ok I understand.
Yay for 2nd shower! Fun stuff :)


Maybe I will come just to make you feel better by being way, way bigger than you will be. You will be totally cute and petite, and I will be well past "brick house" and more like "block of post-war apartments" by then.

I might be too afraid of going into labor on the metro by then, though, so...


Oh no you didn't just quote Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. No. You. Didn't. Made my day.


I was sad when you took down your last wish list. And I have checked target periodically for a wish list. So i am happy you posted one. And I am sad -- really sad that I won't be in DC for the signing. I WAS in DC on Aug. 5 at 7AM on my way to NJ for my grandma's funeral. I actually considered begging you to meet me a IAD but didn't . Now I wish I had. Because I am a freak.

Anyway, you deserve a shower and props to Tracey for scaring you into having one!!


I would come. Honestly, I would make the drive from Montco, PA to DCareaish just because I think ya'll are that fucking cool. But that's just it. Ya'll are THAT fucking cool, and I am WAY too awkward to be put in that position and seriously, what would I talk about? THAT ONE TIME AMALAH ANSWERED A SMACKDOWN QUESTION FOR ME? know. I think that one might be getting old. A little. BUT DID YOU HEAR ABOUT IT?


My husband just pointed out to me that Amazon is having a special where if you have an Amazon baby registry and people buy you stuff, Amazon will send you six months of free diapers. So, if you didn't already know about that, you should, you know, try and score the free diapers.


All babies (and Ladies too) need a party. You have to learn them real good. Congrats!

Wish I could go. :(


Sweetie, you know with Sweetney's minions at work, you may need to have another baby just to make use of the OODLES of baby things that will be coming your way! (I'm off to look at link and sigh in complete jealousy now.)

Backpacking Dad

So shameless..... ;}

all things BD

I'm not in your area, but if I was, I would totally come, just because I think you. are. hilarious.

"Oh, GEE, I've just been so busy! What with! And the...thing. With the place."

THIS is exactly how I sound. Awkward. Happy baby shower!

Mr Lady

I had a shower for #2. I had one for #3. I will have one for #4. also, if I ever have #4, and hence the shower, please punch me in the face.

I bet Sweetney can throw a kick ass baby shower.




Well, now this officially bites.
I was Rita's project editor on this book! I let out actual, verbal squees upon finding out you were in it, Amy. And I'm coming to DC for Labor Day weekend.

I fly in Thursday.

This SO bites.

Tootsie Farklepants

Dude, do you know HOW MANY socks you're going to get now?


Ok so I totally had to steal a bunch of items off of your registry and add them to mine,



Ok. If I wasn't on the complete opposite side of VA and sick as a dog with morning sickness AND broke, I would totally be there. Damn, I wish gas was not so expensive.


Oh, I would totally love to come. Alas, Texas is not exactly in the MD/DC/VA area. Have fun!!


The hell with what's right. What second baby doesn't deserve new things?

Man, I wish I still lived in Frederick, because I would be there in a heartbeat!


So bummed I'm out of town for the real shower. Of course, Noah's b-day party is probably that weekend and I'll be gone again. Annual girls weekend.

rachel beto

(I know what you mean about Internet friends. My best tube friend and I have spent the past day calling each other strumpet and other variations of the word "whore.")

(It's fabulous.)


I know you're going to take offense to this and there's really not any other was to say this. If you want to have a baby shower, go ahead, it's a baby and it's a beautiful thing. But Traci's take on it is TACKY and pushy. Basically she's asking you to guilt, pressure whatever you want to call it people who read your blog into getting you something. I mean do you give them all baby gifts too when they’ve had or have babies? This goes for Traci as well. Huh do you? Do you leave comments on their blogs, like they do on yours? Also the thing about bringing a gift to the book signing well that just broke the straw. I mean it’s so tacky you’ll be walking around with dust bunnies, books, and people stuck to you it’s soooooo tacky. People are already shelling out money for the book but the pressure to show up with a baby gift too. What buying your book isn’t enough? Seriously maybe you and Tracy aren't affected by this recession, gas prices, economy etc but a lot of people are. We spend $550 a month in gas. $550 fucking dollars on gas for my husband who commutes and me running around town with the kids. Groceries cost more, everything cost more. But bring a baby gift or you'll be an outcast, and stand out in the crowd.

Traci comes across very, very, VERY much like a hedonist bully. And but letting her do this, you’re saying, you’re totally fine with that.

btw I'm a long time reader and even though I can more than afford to buy you something, it's clear that you and Jason can afford things and your RL friends and family will fill in the rest.


shocked @your comments Michele. Sure you are entitled to your opinion but...just wrong. wow.


Maa-aan! I wish I lived in the area! I'm sure there will be tons of people. Sending you well wishes instead.


Is it sad that this get together is one of the only reasons I wish I still lived in NoVA?

bethany actually

Oh, man. We lived an hour from D.C. for three years, and just moved to San Diego a couple of months ago. I am so sad I won't be able to come! I would have loved to meet you and give you adorable socks. I hope the shower/book-signing (I bet those are two events that don't get combined into one very often) is a blast and not as awkward as you fear.


You are, as always, freaking hilarious!! I hope you have a blast and completely rack up.


Squeal!!!! I have already alerted Tracey to expect a package from me!

And seriously? Michele. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but what you just said is by far the one of the TACKIEST things I've ever seen.


"You SO. DO. NOT. need to bring a baby gift -- just your lovely, fabulous-smelling presence will be enough..." Um... Michele, I think you might have missed something. And also, it is possible that readers might actually WANT to buy something for the new baby, and they might have even asked how to go about doing that. I'm really not sure where you got the impression that people were being put upon buy Amy offering a registry, because the comments don't seem to indicate that.


Michele....get a grip. I am pretty sure Amy said at least 3 or 4 times to NOT bring a gift...but to definitely come to the book signing. (She wasn't the only author of the book, either)
Your opinion of course....but aimed at a hormonal AND repentant pregnant woman? Come on.
Your comments would have been better suited to Sweetney's blog...since she was the "bully" to Amy, here.

(Hormonal and NOT repentant pregnant woman here.
I am sorry that you have to pay over 500 dollars in gas each month, though. That really does suck. :( )

Amy...I do live in VA...and perhaps can worm my way to "Vinoteca." Although going into DC goes against my better judgement this close to November.


I'm a fan of your writing, but this strikes me as tacky as well. I think maybe you know this, and that is why you doth protest a bit too much.


@Michele - I'm more than a little in shock, and I really don't want to lend any attention to what I feel are really incredibly misguided and thoughtless comments about both amy and myself, but let me just point to my statements on my post that I am merely providing people who *want* to give gifts *the option*. I also note that while gifts are a part of baby showers (and who could deny that?), they are not the most important part. ring a bell at all? yes? no?

But then I know that if people want to be awful they will be, so I don't know why I even bother. And why am I still so surpised when people are awful? I don't know. sigh.

Anyhoo, now that I'm totally and completely mortified, I'll leave those who try to spread negativity and bring others down to their fermenting bitterness and self-perpetuating misery. Enjoy.


PS: for the record, I have now added to my post the following:

"(**Let it be bluntly stated, for those who need things underscored and set in bold: THERE IS NO REQUIREMENT TO GIVE A GIFT. This is about celebrating Amy and her baby, not consumerism. I am providing information and the option, not demanding gifts be given. Please, check yourself, people. Thank you.)"

I also know that in spite of this, people will still be sniping and awful (about a baby shower! How awesome of you!). This is, after all, the internet, and I suppose I should expect no less. But again, for the record, and the sake of clarity. Thanks, kids.


Sorry, Sweetney....I hope I didn't offend with my comment that she post on YOUR blog. The quotes around "Bully" were meant to show I find that observation a bit far fetched, as well. :)

I try to be nice.....rheaaallly I do!

Wacky Mommy

Oh, you. I so wish I was going to be there.

Backpacking Dad

Hmmm. So many comments written and erased as I try to find the perfect thing to say at this moment...


I'm buying you TWO presents. Because the fugly snark will not win.

Redneck Mommy

How horrible that Michele and S.A are spreading their nastiness.

I think it is a lovely thing Tracey is doing for you. You are so blessed to have a friend like her. She's a wonderful gal.

And to anybody who thinks differently...about just how lovely you and Sweetney are...well they can just bite my ass.

I hope you enjoy your shower.

I wish I could be there in person. Just know I'll be rubbing your belly and leering at your boobs in my mind, up here in Canada.

moosh in indy.

Somebody really knows how to kill a room there, eh? I would personally bring a gift only because buying itty bitty baby things is like buying crack, you don't need it but YOU HAVE TO HAVE IT.
Damn baby stuff maker marketers.


I already have all sorts of excellent reasons to make it back to DC on 9/27 (oh, like getting married in DC on 9/27 eleven years ago...), but now I want to be there even more. Dammit.

Happy baby shower to you! And cheers to Tracey for fabulous event planning!

Karen (miscmum)

I wish you a lovely shower. I never had one in either pregnancy, and can't say I've been to one either, so I am imagining all sorts of lovely things happening in my head, which I'm sure are all going to happen.

Have a great day x


OH - THE INHUMANITY!! What and when the fuck did people start being so selfish in America!? Oh, yeah right - like from the beginning of time. That is what is so wrong here - the self-centeredness of some people. A gift for someone else doesn't mean you have to pay like $550... I mean a binky can be bought for like $3 bucks or a bib or even a pair of socks - you can get some gifts for the same amount as you would pay for a pop at the FREAKIN' GAS STATION!! OMG and again OMG!!! No, this isn't to negate the FACT that Amy said that gifts weren't manditory - which I think she was very clear, clear, clear about and felt a bit embarrassed about sharing her joy with others that her friend is giving her a HOPEFULLY KICK ASS baby shower. Anyway - you Joy Stealers need to grow a brain, get a life, stop wallowing in your self pity because the world doesn't love you enough to give your selfish ass a gift because you are so negative about life that you don't deserve one.

Amy - give me an address and I'd LOVE to send you and the little toot somethine!! :) I love your blog - check in everyday to see what's new!! Noah is adorable!!! Oh, Jason and Ceiba are pretty cool too.


I had a baby shower for my second child...let the horrified chest clutching begin...and it was a blast. I got all sort of fun stuff and I didn't even get to sign a freaking AWESOME book that contained my EXCELLENT essay. So shut up about the awkward and bask in the love.


Reality check- wasn't there a post not too long ago that was all freak-out about how they weren't sure how they were going to manage to bring a second baby into the world? This is obviously NOT for someone who is swimming in money either. This so called "recession" is hitting everyone. But you know, I bet that $550 is going into an SUV that you're also driving to see the latest movie that you read about on your IPhone. Because we all know what's important in life...

Be nice. No one said you had to go anyway.


The shower is not tacky. I have no problem with baby showers for the second, third, fourth....whatever child
Posting about your OWN shower on your blog is tacky. Let Sweetney and various friends spread the word. Have a separate shower. But the buy my book/come meet me/oh by the way I have a registry thing just does not sit well. And as a reader, and someone who did plan on buying the book,which I never would have heard of if not for my reading of this blog, this just strikes me as ick. Amalah is now a published author. This blog is not just a "come share my cute kid pics, grooming product reviews and whimsy!" site any longer, it is now clearly a money making, publicity seeking proposition. Which I am fine with. I am Amalah's public. I am sharing my opinion.

Jenny H.

In spite of the fact that we have never met I find myself wishing I lived closer to DC. I LOVE BABY SHOWERS. And teeny,tiny baby things. I would so love to be there. I hope you get tons of wonderful gifts to celebrate the arrival of your new son.

Boys are AWESOME! I have two myself. And we are currently hoping for our third. When I do get pregnant? You can bet your sweet ass I will be having a third shower. I don't have anything so I will need one! Don't let them make you feel small. They don't deserve another thought.

Enjoy your Extravaganza!

Jenny H.

One more thing? Do any of these people actually HAVE their own blogs? Or do they just go around being rude on other people's blogs for the hell of it?

I find THAT tacky. And that is my opinion.

Jenny H.

Phooey. I am trying to correct my stupid url. Sorry for being a pain in the ass.


What a great friend you have! If I didn't live in California I would sooooo be there. Have fun!!! And, I had a shower for baby #2, and will be having one next month for baby #3 and I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all!


I never heard of no showers after the first baby. Maybe that is some weird American thing, since you are all weird and we up her in Canada are all so normal. heh. You are awesome, Tracey is awesome, people have "virtual" baby and wedding showers for friends online all the fucking time. Chill. This is another case of sour grapes because someone gets a lot of blog traffic. poo on that.



I just want to go more after that. I love me some tacky.

jive turkey

I will actually be in the area the week AFTER that - which makes me feel bad, because YOU just gave ME a gift by quoting Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.


"One more thing? Do any of these people actually HAVE their own blogs? Or do they just go around being rude on other people's blogs for the hell of it?

I find THAT tacky. And that is my opinion"

What exactly does having a blog have to do with anything? Must people have a blog in order to post at other blogs or to have an opinion? I don't get it.

Anyway, my opinion is that having a shower at your book signing is tacky, weird, and seems grabby.


Well, I would SO be there if not for the following reasons:

1) Crossing the Atlantic has the tendency to be pricy and time-consuming

2) SEE 1. It deserves to be listed twice because pricy AND time-consuming.

3) I have to work :(

And I actually would like to send something as a thank you for opening up your life to us all. It's like giivng something back. After all, you do entertain us on a regular basis and it's not like you do ask for anything in return.

I'll be checking out the wishlist :)

Alli {Mrs. Fussypants}

Congrats to you!

I think the shower is wonderful.

I have 5 boys and wonderful loving friends threw me a shower for each of them.

{{sticks tongue out at haters}}

Oh, the outfits, the socks, the diapers. It is wonderful.

Every woman, no matter how many kids she has should be treated well with each baby. She is making a person!

Congrats on baby boy number 2, your sweet friend who is throwing you a party and your friends who will share in your happiness.

xoxo, Alli


I will totally try to be there because I love babies and itty bitty baby things and books (and wine!).


Good morning, Internet! You smell nice today. Is that...soap? How fancy!

You know, the same thing happened last time when I posted an itty-bitty teeny-tiny link to my baby registry in my sidebar. (At the request of friends, family & readers.) Some hate mail and pointed comments because OH, HOW TACKY AND GRABBY. So...thanks for the feedback. It's not exactly new or shocking and yeah, I understand that point of view.

A few things!

1) Yes, people have repeatedly requested a link to a registry or other gift list, because people are nice. Personally, I love buying bloggers baby gifts and have done it many times in the past. The Amazon wish list used to be as common as a Contact Me button or a bio page, but alas, I'm dating myself. I still didn't post anything because we just didn't have a registry. There are very few things we NEED and the larger, pricier items are all things we intend to buy for ourselves, eventually, or suggestions for family members who would like to send gifts.

2) My check card got declined at Einstein's Bagel this month, because yeah, the recession is hurting everybody and money is tight here too. Our little (10 YEAR!) anniversary weekend in a inexpensive local hotel killed our budget and HELL YES, we do depend on ad revenue from this site to help us through the month sometimes. And I'm grateful to every reader who makes that possible. I can't please everybody, but thank you for reading, really.

3) Nobody has to buy a gift. Nobody has to even look at the wish list. Install adblockers, use the full RSS feed, it's easy to enjoy this site for free and ensure that I don't see a dime from your eyeballs. Some people click on ads, click through RSS links, leave comments, and yes, buy gifts off of wish lists in support of bloggers. But you don't have to and that's okay.

4) The whole point of this entry was to poke a little fun at Tracey and myself, and mostly to thank my friend for the sweet thing she's doing for me -- that she wanted to do, and she wanted local readers to know that hey, the book signing party (which we've both been a little weirded out by, just like at the Blogher one with ALLLLL the contributors to the book) is going to also be a celebration for the baby. My baby, who will be like, born 10 days or so afterwards. Which is EXCITING, and we'd love for you to join us.

5) Even if you don't bring a gift. Although we shall be forced to pool our collective popular A-list blogging power to have you blacklisted off the Internet for daring to NOT OBEY OUR EVERY TACKY WISH AND COMMAND, MWA HA HA.

6) That was a joke. Just to be clear.

Her Ladyship

Can't be there, as I'll be a time zone away, but I'm sure it'll be a blast!


Amy: I love you even more now after that 6 bullet comment.


Miserable people are always going to find something to bitch about. You're darned if you do and darned if you don't. I hope you have the best book signing/baby celebration ever. Your blog brings entertainment to so many. I will be here on the Alabama coast trying to avoid a hurricane (and not go into labor).


If it weren't so stalkerish, I would totally use this as an excuse to come down. *Love* D.C.

Congrats, and I hope you have oodles of fun!


You should renew your vows at the book signing, too. And register for it. It was my idea, so I'm calling dibs on a bridesmaid spot.

So how many gifts do I have to send to get on the "popular A-List bloggers?"

Rita Arens

I'm a little befuddled by the drama here. Tracey asked if she could celebrate Amy's baby at the book signing, which has been scheduled for months. I said sure, what the hey? Graco is a sponsor of this signing, so it seemed like a good fit, babies and all that.

Let's be clear: These signings are for FUN. We may sell 100 books tops. It will not make any of us rich. Part of the fun of blogging is meeting others in the community, and this is an opportunity to do that. Bring a book you already bought, buy a book there, bring Amy a present, don't bring Amy a present, but by all means come out and say hi. We are not big multi-national corporations. I am not even an A-list blogger. I personally loved Tracey and Amy's essays in the book, and I'm excited to see them and celebrate print media accepting the blogosphere.

I hope you guys will all come out and join us, and do the same for Kristen Chase in Atlanta if you can. Being pregnant is hard enough, but having to squeeze in a signing is just more effort. Timing demanded the signings happen while Amy and Kristen are in full bloom, and so we celebrate that. Because really, birthing (or adopting) the babies is what motherhood is all about, and if nothing else, this book is about the trials and tribulations of motherhood.

All hail Mommy. Okay, I'm done now.


Honestly Amy, I don't know how you put up with the crap people say to you in your comments. Maybe blogging changed in the last week and I didn't know it, but isn't this your personal space to write your personal thoughts? Do "Michelle" and "S.A." want to pay your hosting bill and give you a monthly income to write the blog that THEY want? It wouldn't matter if I was reading your blog or one that is brand-new, I think people need to mind their own damn business. Ahem.

You GO with your baby-shower-having self! I think it is awesome that Tracey is doing that for you, and I hope you get some cute stuff and sell a few books and have a fantastic time!


Amy, I hope you have a wonderful time at the signing/shower; if I weren't in New Mexico, I would totally be there. And tackily buy a book, and tackily bring a present, because? I love your blog, and it's given me many hours of amusement, laughter, and... solidarity, kind of. If that makes sense.

I don't think the shower/signing is tacky at all. I think it's a lovely idea from your wonderful friend, and it's a great way for your readers to continue to share in your happiness.


Well I think the hedonist bully did a really nice thing for you.

I'd hate to see what the judgement twins would think of me!


I might have been able to come to your shower if MY shower wasn't on September 27th at 5pm. (for my second child - a boy).


I'd like to preface my comments by saying that I really enjoy Amy's writing, and I think she's a lovely person. I don't think she's intentionally being grabby or selfish, but agree w/ a few others that something about this just doesn't feel right.

First, even if gifts are optional, and you say that they're optional, I'd still feel awkward going now and not bringing one. I mean, you show up, and she's there and all these people are bringing her these lovely little tokens of best wishes. How would I NOT feel a little bad or awkward arriving empty handed? And it'd really be too bad if any her fans showed up and also felt bad, or didn't show up at all because they just didn't think they could afford something all that nice for a relative stranger, but would've enjoyed meeting Amy. Yes, a $3 gift is possible, but I think most people feel like spending that little makes them look cheap.

Second, I'm sure that plenty of people have asked and do want to buy her something, and a lot of people really want to know what's needed before doing so. But presumably they ask via email or comments. And in either case, Amy would then have their email address. Wouldn't it be possible to email them and say "thanks for your thoughtfulness. It's absolutely not necessary, but if you would like to buy something, here is a link to our registry"? Perhaps there are a lot of requests like this, but it seems like it's a personal email (rather than a blog post) isn't too much to ask when someone is inquiring about sending you a gift.

And third, even with all that aside, I don't like the idea of sending out the notice for your own shower. I agree that it would be better to have others spread the word (although, in Amy's defense, I can see the concern that may fans may not read Amy's friends' blogs and could miss the information entirely, but I think there might have been a better work-aroud to that then a post like this).

And I do, honestly, think that Amy's comments regarding how embarrasing and not necessary a gift is show, in some way, that she realizes this is a little awkward. Which is sort of where it comes down for me -- it just doesn't feel quite right. And if it just doesn't feel quite right, then that's a pretty good sign that maybe it's not a good choice.

And I KNOW the "darned if you do, darned if you don't" thing. I'm getting married in a couple of months. (1) It's a destination wedding and (2) my fiance and I have already set up a lovely household, and the idea of needing things to make a new home for ourselves just doesn't apply. So we told people no gifts, please, that traveling to the wedding was gift enough. And some people are clearly annoyed. I get that. If I were going to a wedding, I'd want to bring a gift. BUT, I know a lot of people are making sacrifices just to attend. So, we'll stick to our no gift rule. If someone really wants to purchase us something, they can. But what I don't want to do is say "gifts aren't necessary, but for those of you that want to, here's what we'd like." Because I know that then those people who were not planning on doing a gift will feel bad, and feel like they need to. And I'd rather the people that want to give us a gift either just don't, or give us something of their own choosing, then make others feel bad.

Again, Amy is lovely and I've never read Sweetney but I'm sure she's great. And I don't have a blog, but I'd still like to share my (very long) opinion anyway.


I posted on Sweetney, and now I have to post here. I think this is great! It's so wonderful of her to do this for you, and to hell with what other people have had to to spew about the whole thing. You're right...if tacky is the worst thing you get called this year, you're doing great.

Congratulations, again. I am SO happy for you guys!


Here let me say what everyone really is thinking!

Michelle kiss my ass - and take your miserable life somewhere else honey.

Ok enough of that - now let's talk baby shower!

Have a nice day!


Can you register Noah and baby #2 (George was it?) for therapy as a result of mannerless people calling Mommy tacky on the internet?

About those bridesmaid dresses... I look good in blue, and since you're having a boy, that will work well. And no empire waists, please. Just 'cause you are preggo doesn't mean I have to look like it.


As the official Etiquette Bitch (tm) I resent all these poser etiquette bitches chiming in.

Etiquette would dictate that--even if you're right, even if you have a valid point, and most particularly if you don't even though you think you do--you don't make the mama-to-be feel like shit.

You smile and you say congratulations how VERY wonderful and I'm so EXCITED for you and your ever growing clan! I know your child will be beautiful and I wish you only the best.

And then you talk about her behind her back if that makes you feel smarter/better/more all-knowing and you really can't help yourself.

Critics in this thread: FAIL.

(PS congrats Amy! Wish I could be there. Or hey...maybe I will be.)

Jenny, Bloggess

I'm against all baby showers as a matter of principle unless they are baby showers that combine satan worship. So, I guess I'm in?

But I'm not traveling so I'll just worship satan and play shower games here in Houston. By myself. As usual.

This whole comment has depressed me.

Also the word "worship" starts to look weird if you keep writing it. Seems like there should be a "u" in there.


"Girl's Gone Child" was talking about the propriety of baby showers for second babies just the other day. My goodness! It's obvious you people don't live in the south. I didn't know it was ever appropriate NOT to have a shower no matter how many kittens you've spit out! Each and every child deserves pastel buttermints, little pimento-cheese sandwiches with the crusts cut off, and embarrassing stomach circumfrence measuring games!

Suzy Q

OMG, the DRAMA! Over a baby shower! I can't help but find it all a little bit funny.

Amy and Sweetney, I hope y'all have a FABULOUS time at your book signing/baby shower/apparently world-shatteringly tacky event. Sadly, I will miss it because 1500 miles is just a bit too far for me to travel. I know, selfish, huh?

Amy, I would have molested your tummy (and won't you miss that?), bought your book and maybe, just MAYBE, even have brought you a gift! One thing's for sure, I would have drunk plenty of wine and helped you and Tracey celebrate all that is good and happy in your lives.



SWEET! I get to go buy a book and meet my mom blogger crush! (Yes, making fun of myself there.) The "shower" sounds sweet and fun and absolutely lovely, and I will try to be in town for it. Ignore the nasty people; they're not worth your time or energy.

Motherhood Uncensored

I think Tracey just found her new tagline "Hedonist Bully" -- that is classic.

And seriously, people don't need to bring anything. But at least by a fucking book.


the ex

Amy, I have no idea how you put up with people speaking to you the way that they do.

I'm SO happy for you and I hope you have a fabulous shower/book signing!

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